Outcast (Moonlight Wolves Book 4) by Jasmine B. Waters (27)

Book 5: The Journey

Prologue

Elizabeth – Present Day

“Hi.”

I struggled to open my eyes and sit up on the uncomfortable cot. My joints were aching and I was freezing cold, but when I reached for my blanket, I saw that it had slipped to the floor. That voice, I thought, the gears of my mind still trying to churn out the last of my sleep. I know it.

Monica was sitting right in front of me, with her legs folded underneath her body.

A chill of fear ran down my spine. She looked almost exactly the same as she had seven years ago. Her blonde hair was longer and her pale skin was tanned from spending so much time in the woods.

“Hi,” Monica repeated. “You were sleeping for hours,” she added. She yawned. “I was getting bored.”

My mouth went dry and I wiped my palms on my thighs. The chill air of the hut made me feel raw, exposed – almost like I had a hangover.

“I know, you’re probably confused,” Monica said. She tossed her hair over one shoulder and yawned. “Ligeia didn’t tell me, either.”

“I’m sorry,” I said nervously. I bit my lip. “I…I wasn’t expecting this.”

Monica raised an eyebrow. “Elizabeth, you came looking for me in the woods,” she said quietly. “What were you thinking would happen?”

I bit my lip, unable to speak. “The last time I saw you…”

“God, I’m so sick of talking about seven years ago,” Monica said irritably. She stood up – she was taller, but I still had a solid head on her – and crossed the room. Her body was different, too: she was still slender and petite, but leaner. Muscles bunched underneath her legs like coiled springs.

Monica poured water from a jug into a stone cup and brought it over, handing it to me. Her expression was both amused and bored.

“How…how have you been?” I asked weakly.

Monica laughed, but it wasn’t a joyful sound. She shrugged, then took the cup back and downed half the water, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand.

“You know. Guarding Andrea,” she replied as if it was the most natural answer in the world.

I bit my lip. “I’ve missed you,” I said cautiously.

Monica’s eyes flew to my left hand and I tucked my hands beside me, squirming uncomfortably.

“So, you and Steven?”

Now it was my turn to shrug. “We were together for a long time. I’m pretty sure it’s run it’s course.”

“But you were engaged.”

I narrowed my eyes. “How did you know that?”

Monica giggled and I felt a sudden flame of irritation.

“Elizabeth, did you forget that I’m a witch?”

It was a struggle not to roll my eyes. “Well, I couldn’t reach you for a long time,” I said crossly. “I had no idea where you’d gone.”

“Elizabeth, don’t be stupid,” Monica said. “You knew. You knew, David knew, everyone did. But you didn’t really ask about me until now.”

That stung. I licked my lips and pulled my hair into a messy knot, tying it with the band on my wrist. This didn’t feel good – at least, not in the way I’d assumed. It was good to see Monica, but I was more confused than ever.

“So, are you staying?”

I frowned. “I don’t know,” I said. “Things are…really messed up right now.”

Monica yawned. “Don’t be so dramatic,” she said. “I’m sure it’s fine, Elizabeth. You’re still so whiny,” she added critically.

“I’m not whining,” I shot back. “You were the one who manipulated Steven and David.” I shook my head – the memories were coming back now, as strong as a waterfall. “Why did you do that? How could you do something like that, to people who really cared about you?”

“What is this, the inquisition?” Monica flipped her hair and stood up, slamming the cup down on the wooden table with more force than necessary. “Elizabeth, I did what was best, for both of us. If you haven’t grown up enough to see it, then I really don’t know what to say.”

My heart sank and I sighed heavily. “Right,” I said slowly, trying not to let my exasperation show. “Look, I know you were doing what you thought was best, but…I don’t know, Monica. Things are really different now.”

Monica gave me an annoyed look. “It’s not my fault if your relationship isn’t working out,” she said. “You should be nicer to Steven – I thought you’d be happy with him worshipping you day in and day out.”

“Things didn’t stay like that, though,” I snapped. “Everything changed.”

“It shouldn’t have,” Monica said arrogantly. “When?”

I frowned. Closing my eyes, I thought back through the years. “Three years ago.”

“Nothing should have changed at all,” Monica said. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything!” I exclaimed hotly, jumping out of bed and glaring at her. “I swear. I went on a trip and when I came back…Steven was different. Things were different.”

Monica looked sour. “Well, of course things changed then,” she said. She sniffed the air. “If you leave, your hold on him weakens.”

“Maybe you should have told me that,” I thundered back. “I had no way of knowing!”

Monica looked at me dully. “You really are stupid sometimes,” she said bitterly, shaking her head. “This hasn’t been easy on me, either, Elizabeth. I’ve had to give up practically everything. You, David, everyone I really loved.”

I sank back down. I knew that despite her cold manner, she was absolutely right. In the end, Monica hadn’t had things any easier than I had.

“So, she’s alive, then,” I whispered softly. “Andrea.”

“Well, she’s not exactly dead,” Monica said. She inhaled sharply. “And if you knew half of what went on around here behind your back, well, I think you’d—“

“Hello, Elizabeth,” Ligeia said pleasantly. She sailed into the hut, looking every inch the regal forest queen. I knew it was crazy, but somehow, she seemed even younger and more powerful than she had been the last time I’d seen her.

Monica tensed. “Hello, Ligeia,” she said stiffly. “I’m speaking to Elizabeth right now, mind giving us some privacy?”

Ligeia smiled. “I see no reason for that,” she said. “We are all family here, are we not?”

Monica glared and I bit my tongue, feeling confused. Was it simply that spending so much time together had bred contempt between Monica and Ligeia?

Or was something going on – something I had no idea of?

“Elizabeth, come help,” Ligeia said. She smiled at me. “We’re feasting tonight, did Monica tell you? You’re more than welcome to stay,” she added. “We’re always so pleased to see one of our own.”

“I think she has to go,” Monica said quickly. She shot me a nervous look. “Don’t you, Elizabeth? You were just talking about how you have to get back home, to Steven,” she added. “Remember?”

I blinked. “Um, I guess,” I said nervously.

Ligeia cocked her head to the side and gave me a funny look. “Monica, why not go and help the others,” she said. I could tell her tone was more a command than a suggestion. “Elizabeth and I have some things to discuss.”

“I was just leaving,” I said, getting to my feet and shoving my hands in my pockets. My jeans were damp from sleeping in Ligeia’s hut and I was chilled the bone. But I knew, deep down, that my true reason for discomfort had nothing to do with the temperature or my messy state.

Something was going on, and as usual, I was going to be the last to know.

“Elizabeth, don’t go, not just yet,” Monica said. She gave me a pleading glance behind Ligeia’s back. “At least, not right now – we have some things to discuss. Remember?”

“I need some time,” I said. I shook my head, biting my lip and keeping my eyes away from Monica. It felt too much like looking at a ghost, even though I knew full well that she was alive.

“Come, Elizabeth,” Ligeia said.

“No,” Monica said. She glared at me and crossed her arms over her chest. “Elizabeth, wait. Don’t go,” she added sharply.

I looked at her, feeling helpless. The worst the memories – an image of Monica stabbing a teenaged Andrea in the chest with her athame – was plaguing my mind, and I couldn’t bear to look at her. If you hadn’t done that, where would we be now, I wondered sadly. Would we actually have normal lives?

“Elizabeth, please don’t go,” Monica said. She looked at me, pleading with her brown eyes.

“Monica, do as I’ve said,” Ligeia said curtly. “Leave us.”

Monica gave me one last look – a strange blend of scorn, pity, and helplessness – before striding out of the hut, her hands balled into fists at her sides.

“What was that about?” I turned to Ligeia. “What is she talking about?”

Ligeia gave a small shrug. “You know Monica,” she said. “Always going on about something or another.”

I bit my lip. “She said she had to talk to me.”

“Pay her no mind,” Ligeia said. “Come, child.”

“I’m twenty-two,” I said crossly. “I’m not a child.”

Ligeia laughed – it was a pleasant sound, even if I knew she was mocking me.

“Compared to me, almost everyone is a child,” Ligeia said. She took her walking stick and guided me out of the hut, setting a brisk pace across the grassy meadow. As always, the perpetual spring weather of the coven enchanted me. It felt like forever since I’d seen a blue sky, and I craned my neck as we walked across the clearing.

“So, you have regained your friend,” Ligeia said. “And now there is the matter of repaying the coven, Elizabeth. Have you already forgotten the promises you made?”

“No, I haven’t,” I said stiffly. “But I can’t do anything right now. I have to go home, Ligeia.”

“Excuse me?” Ligeia gave me a haughty look. “You mustn’t think of refusing me, Elizabeth. I am your elder.”

“I’ll come back,” I said quickly. “But there are some…well, I have to do some stuff at home first. I don’t know how long I’m going to be here, and I can’t just leave at the moment.”

Breaking from Ligeia’s side, I burst into a run and ran until my sides ached. A strange female voice echoed in my ears – a blend of Monica’s cheerful bitterness and Ligeia’s aged tones. Closing my eyes, I pushed myself harder and harder, my feet slapping the earth.

“You cannot run from me,” Ligeia called. “You forget, Elizabeth,” she said. “You cannot leave me so quickly.”

“No,” I called over my shoulder. “I told you – I have to go back. Things…things aren’t right, at least, not now. Just give me some time, and then I’ll come back, I promise.”

Ligeia appeared in front of me, floating in the air. Her ivory robes whipped around her wizened flesh and her blue eyes burned brighter than ever before.

“Elizabeth,” Ligeia said. “This is a warning. If you leave, we cannot assure you of anything. And your betrayal will not be so easily forgotten.”

“I’m not leaving forever,” I said quickly. “I told you – I just have some things that I have to take care of, that’s all. I’ll be back. I promise.”

“This is what you wanted, remember?” Ligeia glared. “You wanted your best friend, your Monica. And now she has returned, and yet you are still not happy. Why, Elizabeth?”

“Because,” I growled through gritted teeth. “She’s not the same.”

“Isn’t she?” Ligeia clicked her tongue against her teeth and shook her head. “Or have you just remembered things which you’d rather have forgotten?”

The words hit me like a punch to the chest. Dropping to my knees, I closed my eyes and surrendered to my own emotions. Tears came to my lids and I blinked them back hotly, covering my face with my hands.

“I just don’t know why I was able to forget everything that happened,” I moaned, sniffling. “I don’t know why I forgot! And now, I can’t un-see the past. I can’t…” I trailed off, biting my lip and sighing. “I can’t forget about her stabbing Andrea.”

Ligeia gave me a cold look. “You are weak, child,” she said. “Take time – return home, regain your strength.”

Relief washed over me.

“But then you will return,” Ligeia said harshly. “You will return, and serve me, for as long as I please.” She held her chin high in the air.

As I ran from the coven, I wondered just what exactly Ligeia had in mind.

Chapter One

Elizabeth – Seven Years Ago

The image of Monica and David entwined was burned onto my brain. Between that and Steven’s sudden need for me, I felt sick. I ran into the woods, pushing and plunging through the green leafy darkness. By now, my feet seemed to know the way, even if my mind didn’t. Branches and twigs lashed at my face and arms and after a few minutes of silence, my face was wet with perspiration.

It’s not fair, I thought as I plunged on, in search of the coven. We’re both witches – why is she the one with all the power?

For once, the woods were sympathetic to my plight. I hadn’t been running for long when the trees began thin. Leaves and buds and flowers appeared, and the cold weather turned into a pleasant spring day. Soon, I was in the middle of the clearing.

Several witches were seated in a circle, giggling and whispering. When they saw me, all chatter stopped. One of them looked up, made eye contact, then blushed and dipped her head as the others laughed.

”What’s your problem,” I muttered under my breath as I stalked across the thick grass, towards Ligeia’s hut.

Ligeia turned from the hearth and wiped her hands on her apron.

“Why, Elizabeth, what a pleasant surprise,” Ligeia said. She smiled and held a pitcher of water towards me. “Water?”

I grabbed the jug from her and sat down in a huff, drinking from the lip of the container until cold water trickled down my chin and soaked the front of my shirt.

“Enough, child,” Ligeia said. She took the pitcher from me and frowned, wiping the edge where I’d drank with a cloth.

“She’s doing it again,” I said hotly, crossing my arms over my chest. “She’s manipulating them.”

“Who, child?”

I glared at her. “You know what I mean,” I said sharply. “You know how strong she is – you know what she’s capable of.”

Ligeia nodded. “Monica is intelligent,” she said. “I’m sure she’s doing what she thinks is best.”

“Well, she could’ve asked me!” I yelled hotly. “She could’ve at least said something, you know? How is this fair,” I added, shaking my head in disgust. “She’s ruined everything.”

Ligeia shook her head. “The spirit of Prudence will no longer be a problem,” she said, raising her hands in the air. “Are you going to tell me that your social needs are somehow more important than the needs of the coven? Of your community? Elizabeth, I’m disappointed in you.”

I squinted and frowned. “I’m confused,” I said slowly. “How does the spirit of Prudence have anything to do with Monica’s lies?”

Ligeia sighed. “Trust me, child, it is all for the best,” she said. “Now, things are slowly returning to normal for you, isn’t that true? So perhaps you should go home and enjoy it,” she added.

I blinked. “What?”

“Child, we have no use for you right now,” Ligeia said. “I know you’re feeling uncomfortable, but really, this will pass. Trust me,” she said softly. “I promise – I know what is best for you.”

Before I could respond, Ligeia clapped her hands together and a thick cloud of smoke billowed through the air. I coughed and heaved, covering my mouth and nose with both hands and keeping my eyelids tightly shut. I felt my body whirling and soaring through the air.

Coward, I thought as I crashed down to the ground, landing painfully on my hands and knees. She couldn’t even be bothered to argue with me!

After a few seconds, the smoke cleared and I sniffled, glancing around my room with disinterest. Ligeia had never done that before – spirited me away before I could even protest. It made me angry. I knew I had no right to feel so burned. Ligeia was the most powerful witch in the coven, but still. She’d never been so impatient with me before.

I rolled my eyes and flopped down on my bed just as the door swung open. Mom was standing there, her head cocked to the side.

“Hi, honey,” Mom said. “Were you out? I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Yeah,” I lied. “I was with Monica. What’s up?”

“Well, the weather is so nice today – Aidan and I were thinking of going down to the lake and having lunch. Want to come along?”

I frowned.

“Honey, what’s the matter?” Mom stepped into the room and laughed, looking slightly guilty. “I hope you’re not getting too depressed about having to go back to school again.”

“Actually, I completely forgot about that,” I said. I bit my lip.

Mom laughed. “I’m not surprised,” she said. She sighed. “I hope you kids won’t have to repeat the year.”

I groaned. “Me, neither,” I said.

“Still, you should try getting back into the swing of things, honey,” Mom added. “I know it’s hard – things were pretty scary for a while.” She smiled sympathetically. “But it’s all over now, and I’m sure everything will be fine.”

I nodded. “Yeah. I’m sure you’re right.”

“So, what’ll it be? Are you coming?”

“I think I’m going to take a walk,” I said. I rolled off my bed and pulled on a pair of loafers. “Maybe go see Monica.”

“Weren’t you just with her?” Mom narrowed her eyes. “You girls aren’t getting into anything untoward, are you?”

I laughed nervously. “No, I meant Steven,” I added, looking down so Mom wouldn’t see that I was blushing. “We’re fine. You know – just drama with her boyfriend, that’s all.”

“Oh,” Mom said. “Well, you girls are at that age.” She sighed. “Given any thought to college?”

I narrowed my eyes. “Mom, that’s like, years away. Why?”

Mom looked guilty. “Well, now that you mention Steven – he dropped some things off at the house for you.”

“Like what?”

Mom handed me a few colorful, glossy pamphlets. They were all for local schools – Monadnock U, a couple of places in Vermont.

“Why did he leave these here?”

Mom smiled. “I guess he likes you, and he’s getting ready to graduate,” she said. She shrugged. “Maybe he’s hoping you’ll pick the same school.”

I blushed uncomfortably. “Okay,” I said. “Thanks.”

“You don’t…want to talk about this, do you?” Mom stepped closer. “You know, Elizabeth, you can always come to me. I want to know how you’re feeling.”

“No,” I said quickly. “I mean, I’m fine. Thanks, Mom.”

Mom nodded. I could tell she was uncomfortable – heck, probably almost as uncomfortable as I was feeling. She set the brochures down on my bedside table, patted me awkwardly on the head, and then walked out of my room.

I stared at the pamphlets for a few seconds before grabbing them and flipping through. Steven hadn’t left a note, or anything like that but I was hesitant to call him – was he always going to be this eager? How long would it take for Monica’s spell to wear off?

God, why did she do that, I thought angrily, crumpling the glossy papers into a ball and throwing them into the trash.

Curling up into a ball, I pulled the covers over my head and went to sleep.

When I woke up, it was getting dark outside. I could hear from the chatter and bangs downstairs that Mom and Aidan were back – likely getting dinner ready. Even though I’d been asleep for hours, I still felt tired and achy. Maybe I’m getting sick, I thought, wrinkling my nose as I climbed out of bed and pulled on a sweater. Great. That’s the last thing I need right now.

Downstairs, Mom was banging around the kitchen while Aidan sat at the table, a thick booklet laid out in front of him. Mom beamed when she saw me.

“Hi, honey, you missed a great time at the lake – lots of people were there, we had so much fun. Didn’t we, Aidan?”

“Yeah,” Aidan grunted. He didn’t look up. “This isn’t fair, Mom,” he whined. “It’s not fair! I didn’t miss so much school on purpose!”

Mom gave me a guilty grin. “Honey, the schools all sent over these books, for catching up,” she said. “Yours is in the hall.”

My heart sank as I walked into the foyer and saw a book, probably twice as thick as Aidan’s, perched on the hall table. I grabbed it and feigned a grunt of pain as I lugged it into the kitchen.

“Think of how nice this will be,” Mom chirped. “They’re not going to make you go through the summer sessions after all!”

I rolled my eyes as I flipped through my book. There was a huge section on geometry, which I hadn’t even taken yet, as well as three hundred pages of reading on modern European history.

“They probably just don’t want to pay the teachers through the summer,” I snapped, flipping through the pages. “Aidan’s right. We shouldn’t have to do this crap.”

“Language, Elizabeth!” Mom put her hands on her hips. “And I know, it’s not exactly fun. But honey, life isn’t fair. Besides, wouldn’t you rather go back to school than deal with that awful curfew?”

I frowned. “Neither sounds particularly appealing,” I said. “Besides, how the heck am I supposed to get all of this done before school starts?”

“They probably won’t care if you don’t,” Aidan said moodily. “There’s no way the teachers are going to have time to grade all of these. They’re just covering their asses.”

“Aidan! Language!”

“Sorry, Mom,” Aidan said glumly. He heaved a huge sigh.

I stared at my younger brother, wondering if it would ever be possible to have a “normal” relationship with him. Aidan was only two years younger, but now that we were both teenagers, those two years felt like a wide gulf. And honestly, when I looked at him, it was hard to fathom that Andrea was only one year older. She and Aidan were about as different as two human beings could be.

Looking at Aidan also reminded me of Andrea and Steven. I shuddered, wondering how it feel to be attracted to your own sibling.

“Elizabeth?” Mom was staring at me. “You okay? You’re spacing out again,” she added.

“I’m fine,” I lied. “I’m going to take this over to Steven’s, I wonder if he got one, too.”

Mom nodded. “Maybe you can talk about college,” she said, raising an eyebrow.

I flushed. “Maybe.”

I had no intention of even bringing up those stupid brochures, but I had to admit that I was kind of curious. Running upstairs, I changed into a nicer pair of jeans and brushed my hair before sticking my giant workbook in my backpack and leaving. Mom was right – it was nice outside, I could actually tell that spring was on the way.

It felt strange to be outside, alone and unaccompanied, as I walked to the D’Amicos house. Maybe Mom was right about that, too, I thought, skipping to the side to avoid a puddle. Maybe I just got used to living in a police state – maybe things really are going to be better.

But somehow, knowing that Monica’s magic was behind all of this just made me feel weird. It was like looking at a model home, or a fake little village in a train set – something about it was almost creepily off from the real world. I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself, walking faster until I was almost panting.

I was walking up the driveway when Steven opened the door. He saw me and grinned, his cheeks going red.

“Hey,” Steven said. “I had a feeling you were coming over. What’s up?”

“Did my mom call or something?” I rolled my eyes. “I just decided to leave now.”

Steven shook his head. “No,” he said, still grinning. “I just knew. We’re meant to be, Elizabeth.”

Ugh, I thought as I trudged up the driveway and onto the front porch. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.

Mrs. D’Amico was bustling around in the kitchen. As usual, she barely looked my way as Steven led me inside.
“Mom, can Elizabeth stay for dinner?”

“Oh, I don’t need to,” I said quickly. “I’m sure my mom expects me.”

To my shock, Mrs. D’Amico turned towards me and smiled. It was so strange – I’d never seen her look at me with anything other than complete disdain.

“That would be nice, Elizabeth. Steven talks about you so often! Don’t you go breaking my little boy’s heart,” she added, wagging a finger in the air.

“Um, okay,” I said nervously. “I’ll have to call my mom and ask if I can stay, though.”

Steven pressed the kitchen phone into my hand. “I hope she says it’s okay,” he added fervently. “I really want you to stay, Elizabeth.”

I blinked.

“We’re having yumasetta, Amish casserole!” Mrs. D’Amico chirped. “Very healthy, Elizabeth, I’m sure your mother would approve.”

As discreetly as I could, I reached behind my back and pinched my arm as hard as possible.

“Ouch!” I yelped.

“Elizabeth!” Steven looked at me with ghastly concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Um, nothing,” I lied. Glancing down at my arm, I saw a faint purple bruise beginning to form. “I just hit my arm earlier.” Steven gave me an alarmed look and I forced a smile. “It’s really nothing,” I added quickly. “I’ll be fine.”

Steven and his mother stayed in the kitchen as I went into the hall to call home. Staring at the photos on the wall, a chill came over me.

There were no photos of Andrea.

Nothing – not even family portraits that I could have sworn I’d seen before featuring her round face. My stomach twisted and churned and my fingers were cold and numb as I dialed. When my mom answered, she sounded far away.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mom,” I said patiently. “I’m at Steven’s, he wants to know if I can stay for dinner.” Please don’t say yes, I added in my head. Please, don’t.

“Oh, sure! You know, this works perfectly – Aidan has a little friend he wanted to invite over, but we wouldn’t have had enough.”

I suppressed a groan. “Okay. Thanks. I’ll be home right after,” I said.

“Oh, no rush! You can stay as late as you want!”

“Thanks, Mom,” I said through gritted teeth. “See you later.”

When I hung up, I whirled around and gasped. Steven was standing right there, staring at me with hunger in his eyes.
“She said yes,” he said quickly. “She must have, right?”

“She did,” I said. “But she wants me home pretty early, sorry I can’t stay late.”

“I’ll drive you home,” Steven said quickly. “Don’t even worry about it.”

Dinner was chilling. I pushed the mixture of ground beef, American cheese, and noodles around on my plate. I had less than zero appetite – I couldn’t stop glancing over at the wall, searching each photo for Andrea’s chubby face.

“So, Elizabeth,” Mrs. D’Amico said. She smiled. “Steven tells me you’re thinking of going to college at the U of Vermont, like he’s planning. Is that true?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” I said. A disastrous feeling came over me and I gripped the table hard so I wouldn’t faint. “I haven’t really thought about it yet. I mean, that’s two years off for me.”

“That’s not what Steven said,” Mrs. D’Amico replied. She smiled again and I shrank against the back of my chair.

“We can talk about it later,” I said, glancing at Steven. “I just don’t really see the point of deciding, at least not right now.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I winced as Steven tightened his grip around his fork and stabbed at his dinner.

“Excuse me,” I said, pushing my chair back and standing up. “I’ll be right back.”

Leaving my napkin on my plate, I scurried to the downstairs bathroom and sat down on the toilet, still fully clothed. Burying my face in my hands, I could hardly keep from hyperventilating.

Why did you do this, I thought angrily, picturing Monica’s smug smile in my mind. Why would you deliberately make things so difficult for me?

I stayed in the bathroom for so long that my thighs went numb, pressed against each other on the porcelain seat. I could hear footsteps pacing back and forth in the hall outside.

“Elizabeth?”

I groaned. “I’ll be right out,” I called loudly. “Just give me a second!”

Rolling my eyes, I got to my feet and flushed the toilet for effect, washing my hands until my fingers were numb from the cold water.

“Elizabeth?”

“I said I’m coming!”

When I left the bathroom, Steven was standing there, looking worried.

I forced a smile. “We should probably get back to the table,” I said. “I don’t want to make your mom worry.”

Steven shrugged. Behind him, my eyes caught sight of a family photo – again, there was no sign of Andrea. A chill ran down my spine.

“Look, Elizabeth, I really want to talk about schools,” Steven said urgently. He stepped closer and took both of my hands in his own. “I know you think it’s too early to start deciding, but you’re wrong.” His eyes burned bright with intensity.

“Well, I’m only fifteen,” I said softly. “Steven, I’m not due to graduate for another two years – and that’s even if I somehow manage to pass this one!”

Steven glared. “I just think it’s important that we’re close together,” he said. “Don’t you?”

I sighed. “I know you do, Steven,” was all I could say. “I know you do.”

Chapter Two

Elizabeth

I knew that I should’ve been grateful for the chance to go back to school – after months of being cooped up inside my parents’ house or the coven, just getting to be outside by myself was exciting. But everything had changed – now that I was Steven’s girlfriend, school was a completely different experience.

I could hardly go anywhere without a group of girls staring at me and whispering in hushed tones under their collective breaths. It was insanity – I’d never even been noticed before.

And now, I was suddenly popular.

“God,” Monica sniffed as we walked down the hall. “You’re turning a lot of heads.”

I bit my lip and flushed. “No thanks to you,” I muttered.

“You should be enjoying this,” Monica said. She cocked her head to the side and smiled. “I thought this was, you know, the goal.”

“We’re so past the goal that I don’t even know where we’re going,” I replied, pushing past her and into class just as the bell shrieked above my head.

Monica followed behind me, holding herself stiff and upright.

“Hey, Hartsell!”

I looked up and narrowed my eyes. A group of jocks – Steven’s friends – were sitting in the back of the room, motioning for me to come over.

“What is it?” My legs were unsteady as I walked closer. Despite the fact that everyone seemed to genuinely like me, I couldn’t get past the idea that they were making fun of me. I’d spent most of my life being what Monica not-so-affectionately referred to as a “try-hard.”

Now, the idea that I was genuinely liked on my own…well, that was unfathomable.

“Party tonight,” one of them – Greg, maybe? – said, grinning. “You and Steve are coming, right?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I said, feeling more lame and awkward than ever. “He hasn’t mentioned it to me.”

The guy grinned. “Well, too bad, you’re coming,” he said. “We want D’Amico there.”

“Okay.” I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. “So I’m gonna go sit down, okay?”

“Stay here,” the guy said. He shrugged and lifted his mass off the small desk, rearranging his legs. When he was standing, I saw he was more than a foot taller than I. I flushed – I still wasn’t used to being in such close contact with guys since they’d gotten so tall and burly. It seemed like yesterday that I’d been the tallest person in my class.

Just as I was about to say something about Monica, the second bell rang and the teacher strode into the room. Flashing Monica a guilty grin, I sank down into a chair at the back of the class. It felt almost like I was breaking some kind of rule – I’d never sat in the back before.

Sorry, I thought when Monica glared at me. I shrugged. You did this, I added silently. So don’t be too mad

But when class was over and the bell rang again, Monica leapt out of her seat and ran. She was out of the room before I even made it to the front of the class.

Greg (or whatever his name was) punched me on the shoulder.

“Yo, your friend – she pissed?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I said.

“She can come, too,” Greg said. “I mean, she’s had parties before.” He wrinkled his nose. “Just make sure she’s cool.”

I rolled my eyes, knowing full well that Monica wouldn’t be interested at all.

“Sure,” I muttered. “I’ll ask her.”

---

After school, I did my homework as quickly as I could, then wolfed down some dinner and took a long shower. By the time I got back to my room, my mom was standing there, looking out the window with her hands on her hips.

“I’m going to a party tonight,” I said. “I hope that’s okay.”

Mom nodded. “I’m glad to see you doing things again,” she said. She gave me a sly smile. “Is Steven going to be at this party?”

I flushed. Whenever Steven and I were apart, it was almost easy to forget how crazy he’d gone.

“Yeah,” I said after a pause. “He’s picking me up.”

“Well, just be home before two,” Mom said. “How’s school going?”

I frowned. “I can’t believe you’re letting me go this easily,” I said. “I mean, I’m not complaining.” I swallowed hard, still clutching the towel around my damp body. “But it just seems kind of strange.”

My mom laughed nervously. “I know,” she said. “I feel it, too, honey. But…” She trailed off, biting her lip. “You’re growing up. And this past year has been really hard on you, I know it has.”

I nodded. “Yeah,” was all I could manage in response. “You’re right.”

“Is Monica going?”

Crap, I thought. I completely forgot. I must have looked guilty because Mom let out another nervous little laugh.

“What, she doesn’t like Steven?”

“It’s not exactly that,” I said. I swallowed. “I should call her. Maybe she’d want to come.”

My mom nodded. “That would be nice.” She gave a little shrug as she walked to the door. “I’ll let you get dressed. Sorry if I was hovering, honey.”

Mom left, closing the door behind her. As soon as I heard her moving down the stairs, I threw off my towel and grabbed a fresh pair of underwear from my drawer. Then I got dressed in my favorite black jeans and an off-the-shoulder top. I’d barely finished running a brush through my still-damp hair when I heard Steven’s knock on the door.

“Honey!” Mom yelled. “Steven’s here!”

Despite my anxiety, I couldn’t help but feel at least a little bit of excitement. The last party I’d gone to had been that disastrous affair that Monica had thrown, right before all of the trouble started. Something told me that tonight wouldn’t be anything like that.

Honestly, I didn’t know if that was good or bad.

Steven grinned when he saw me.

“You look awesome,” Steven said. “Ready?”

I nodded. As we walked out to the car, things felt surprisingly…normal between us. Steven opened the door for me and I scooted inside, tucking my legs over the books on the floorboards.

“So, your mom is okay with this?” I asked, running my hand over the door handle. “She didn’t like, flip out that you wanted to go to a party? With me?”

“My mom is fine,” Steven said. He twisted the key in the ignition and slowly backed down the driveway, putting his hand on my shoulder as he looked through the back window. “How are you?”

I shrugged. “It felt weird to go back to school,” I said slowly. “I think Monica is mad.”

“She’s probably jealous,” Steven said nonchalantly. His comment bothered me more than it should have.

“Maybe,” I said, not wanting to get into a fight. “So…this is at Greg’s house?”

Steven laughed. “His name is Gary,” he said. “But yeah – his parents went on vacation as soon as the curfew was lifted.”

“Wow,” I said. “Must be nice.”

“He has an awesome place,” Steven said. He looked at me and I saw the wild lust flash in his eyes. “And I’m happy to be with you,” he added in a husky voice that made me uncomfortable.

“Yeah,” I said. “Um, thanks for picking me up. My mom says I have to be home before two. Is that okay?”

“Sure,” Steven said. He pulled onto the two-line highway and sped up, flying over the black pavement.

I shifted uncomfortably, tugging the seat belt away from my neck as he drove. We lapsed into silence, but it didn’t feel natural. Maybe it’s because things are still so new that we’re getting used to each other, I thought, gnawing at my lip. Maybe it’ll be easier with other people around.

But the party wasn’t anything like Monica’s had been. Greg -- er, Gary – had a huge house, or rather, his parents did. It wasn’t like the Boers’ home, either – it looked like every room had been decorated by some famous designer from Boston.

Inside, it was nearly impossible to hear anything. Steven held my hand and stuck close to my side as we wove through the crowd. In the living room, someone had put on loud music and the whole room seemed to be shaking. The floor was filled with kids jumping up and down and dancing, spilling beer from red plastic cups.

“Want a drink?” Steven practically had to yell in my ear.

“Yeah!” I yelled back. “I’ll stay here!”

Steven said something I couldn’t understand, but he smiled before he turned and pushed his way into the kitchen. I recognized all of the popular kids from school, feeling a twinge of guilt that I hadn’t invited Monica. She wouldn’t have had fun, I thought, trying to justify the decision to myself. This isn’t her scene at all.

The music changed and I stumbled as a huge wave of kids pushed past me, storming into the room and cheering. I rolled my eyes – a Journey song was blasting from the huge sound system. We weren’t even alive when this stupid song came out, I thought, pushing my way past a circle of girls dancing, holding hands and shaking their butts. I almost laughed as I thought about what Monica would say, she’d probably call them sheep or lemmings or something.

“Here!” Steven shouted, so loudly that I jumped. He pushed a red cup into my hand. “I know you hate beer, so I got you some of the punch!”

I held the cup to my nose and sniffed cautiously. “Oh my god,” I mumbled. “What is this? Paint thinner?”

Steven laughed. “I love your sense of humor!” He shouted. “Come on, let’s dance! I love this song.”

Of course you do, I thought as I tilted the cup back and drank. Whatever was inside – some kind of sticky pink liquid that burned my tongue and throat. I sputtered and coughed, choking the last few sips down like it was some of Ligeia’s poison.

Steven gave me a sympathetic smile. “It’s rough,” he said loudly. “Want another?”

I stepped shakily to the side. “Sure!” I yelled.

Anything was better than dancing to Journey.

Four cups of that pink toxic waste later and I was feeling strange. My skin felt hot and oily and I kept reaching up to wipe my forehead on my sleeve. Outside it was freezing cold, but inside Gary’s house, it was so hot that I could barely stay awake.

Steven and I danced, hopping and jumping around, to most of the music. Whenever a slow song came on, Steven would try to pull me close but I’d invariably shy away. It wasn’t just that I didn’t feel like having his dick pressed into my butt, everyone was staring at us. Even the girls who swung by in the arms of other guys from school couldn’t keep from giving my dirty looks.

“Everyone hates me,” I said loudly in Steven’s ear. He winced and pulled away. “Can I have another drink?”

“Sure.” Steven took my hand and led me out of the living room. Thankfully, it was much cooler in the rest of the house. The kitchen was messy – a huge table was covered with mostly-empty tubs of hummus and ranch dressing, while dehydrated carrot slices grew less appealing by the second. I paused and grabbed a handful of sour cream chips, shoving them into my mouth and chewing noisily.

“God, I’m starving,” I said, handing Steven my cup and scooping more chips onto a plastic plate. “Can you get me a drink?”

Steven beamed. “So you’re having fun?”

“Yeah, sure,” I said. “I am.” It wasn’t exactly a lie – although the way my chest felt hot and watery probably wasn’t a good sign. I’d never been drunk before, only tipsy, at Monica’s party. But this was different. I felt like a new Elizabeth, a confident Elizabeth who didn’t let anything bother her.

A rush of people streamed by and I almost fell to the side as one of them bumped into my hip. I grabbed the back of a chair, only barely managing to stay upright.

Steven rushed to my side, handing me a drink. “Are you okay?”

I nodded, much more enthusiastically than necessary. “Yeah!” Tilting my head back, I poured the cup down my throat. I was so used to it by now that the stuff didn’t even burn – it was actually starting to taste kind of good. Wiping my brow again, I burst out laughing.

“What’s funny?” Steven crinkled his brow.

“Nothing!” Suddenly, I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I couldn’t explain it, but somehow, the events of the past few months no longer mattered. All that mattered was that wild, confident feeling in my chest, like nothing could ever hurt me again.

“Come dance,” Steven said. He tugged me towards the living room and I groaned, dragging my feet.

“It’s too hot in there,” I whined. “Wanna go outside?”

“Seriously?” Steven laughed. “Elizabeth, it’s freezing out there. The last thing I need is you getting sick.”

“Come on,” I whined. “Just for a minute.”

As I tugged Steven down the hall, the wild and happy feeling started to fade. My stomach started to hurt and I swallowed, wiping my hands on my thighs.

“Hold on a sec,” I said, pulling free of Steven’s grip. “I need to stay here a moment.”

Steven brushed my bangs out of my eyes. “Elizabeth? You okay? You look sick,” he added, putting a hand to my forehead. I winced. Suddenly, my head was aching, almost like it was filled with concrete.

“What time is it,” I slurred, stepping forward. My ankle rolled under my weight and I fell to the ground, nearly colliding with the wooden floor. Thankfully Steven grabbed me by the arms and pulled me upright.

“I think you overdid it a little,” Steven said. “Come on, this way.”

My vision turned blurry and shaky as Steven took me down a hall. It wasn’t straight like the hall before, it was twisting and curving and filled with sudden sharp turns. Bumping into the wall, I burst out laughing as I bounced off the white surface and ping-ponged back towards Steven’s arms.

“This way,” Steven repeated. He pulled me into a small, brightly-lit room.

I burst out laughing. “I don’t need to pee,” I said. But as soon as I saw the toilet, my stomach lurched and I dropped to my knees. I barely had time to push the lid up as a hot streaming torrent of vomit gushed from my mouth. Steven pushed my hair from my face, holding it in a gentle knot behind my neck.

I threw up until I was gagging. Tears came to my eyes and by the time I was done, I was sniffling and coughing. Steven reached over with a folded wad of toilet paper and wiped my lips and chin.

He smiled. “Same thing happened to me at a basketball party a couple of years ago,” Steven said. “Only I didn’t make it to the bathroom in time.”

I smiled weakly. “Thanks…” I flushed, sniffling and climbing to my feet on unsteady legs. “I appreciate it.”

Steven shrugged. “I try to be a good boyfriend,” he said. He made eye contact and I had to look away. “Elizabeth, I hope I make you happy.”

I nodded. “You do,” I said softly. Now, more than ever, I added weakly in my head. I didn’t know why, but something about the tenderness with which Steven had taken care of me made me feel better, almost like we were a normal high-school couple.

“Good,” Steven said. He got to his feet, flushed the toilet, and washed his hands. “You ready to go home?”

I nodded. “Please,” I said softly. “I’d really appreciate that.”

Steven and I didn’t talk much in the car, but this time, it felt like a comfortable silence. When he pulled up in front of my house, he parked and kept the engine running.

“Want me to go inside with you?”

I sniffed. “No,” I said. “I think I’m okay. I’m going to take some ibuprofen and lie down.”

Steven nodded. “Good plan,” he said. “I have fun tonight. I love you,” he added, leaning in to kiss me. I turned my head to the side – even though I’d rinsed with mouthwash, I still smelled like vomit – and he got a mouthful of hair.
“Sorry,” I said, pushing the door open and climbing out on unsteady legs. “I’ll see you later, Steven.”

“Bye,” Steven called. I slammed the door shut and hurried up the driveway and into my silent house. For a moment, I almost laughed – it was such a perfect imitation of the time Steven and I had snuck out together before the curfew was lifted.

Thankfully, Mom and Dad weren’t awake. I crept up the stairs and took another shower, then got into pajamas and climbed into bed. Just as I was about to turn out the light, my cell phone started buzzing wildly on my nightstand.

God, what does he want now, I thought, groaning as I pictured Steven eagerly anticipating my answer.

Except it wasn’t Steven’s name on the caller ID.

It was David’s.

I blinked. Was Monica calling? I wanted to believe that, but somehow, I had a feeling that Monica had nothing to do with it. My palm itched as I reached for the phone, holding it in my fingers.

Just seeing David’s name was enough to erase the mildly pleasant thoughts of Steven from my mind. The brief affection that I’d felt for him suddenly vanished and I was left wanting to speak to David, to hear his voice.

To know if Monica’s magic was still working.

But I couldn’t. I had to be a good friend to her – that was what I’d promised.

With a heavy heart, I pressed “ignore,” then turned out my lamp and went to sleep.

Chapter Three

Elizabeth

Things were slowly going back to normal in Jaffrey, but not everything was quite there yet.

After the searches and hunts for Andrea were called off, it was like she’d completely vanished from reality. I went by the D’Amicos’ house twice in the next week, scouring for evidence. I couldn’t believe that somehow, we’d bee powerful enough to make her completely vanish.

That was when her church announced a memorial service.

It wasn’t for Andrea, exactly – at least, her name was never mentioned. Instead, the pastor encouraged the town to come out and “heal together,” presumably from the trauma of losing Andrea.

I wondered what Steven and his family would have to say about it.

Friday night, the day before the service, I was walking home from school when Steven pulled up alongside me. He smiled and I felt something of that old crush coming back. I tried to smile, remembering how kind he’d been at the party earlier in the week. But I couldn’t stop thinking of David, even though I knew it was wrong.

He’s not yours to think about, I said firmly to myself as I climbed in the passenger seat of Steven’s car. He’s Monica’s, and I need to be a friend. I need her to be happy, even if that means using her magic.

“Are you going to that thing at the church?” I licked my lips, wondering if Steven remembered his sister at all.

“I think so, I don’t know,” Steven said. “My parents used to be so into going to church…and now I don’t know, they don’t really care. So I guess.”

“You should go,” I said quickly. “It might be good for you.”

Steven cocked his head to the side and gave me an odd look. “Coming from you, that’s a little weird,” he said. “You never go to church.”

She was your sister, I wanted to scream. I wanted to take Steven by the shoulders and shake him until his eyes rolled back in his head. Don’t you remember? How the hell could you forget your own family member?
“Right,” I said quickly. “But I still think we should go.”

Steven nodded. He gave me a dreamy look. “Something bad happened,” he said slowly. “I just can’t really remember it. But things were hard for a while, weren’t they?”

Guilt hit me like a lightning bolt and I slumped against the seat. Part of me hated Monica for putting me in this position – was I really supposed to lie and pretend like Andrea had never existed?

The other part of me was just confused, and a little sad for Steven. It was hard to think of someone forgetting their own sibling.

It was even harder to know I’d watched my best friend stab said sibling in the chest.

I shuddered.

“Yeah,” I said softly. “Something really bad happened. But it’s almost over now.”

Steven reached for my hand and twined his fingers with mine. “I didn’t know it was so important to you,” he said. “But of course we can go, if that’s what you want.”

I nodded stiffly. “Yeah,” I said. “I’d like that.” Because this is my fault, I thought as Steven’s car pulled onto my street. And without me, this wouldn’t have happened.

“So tomorrow, when should I pick you up?”

I sighed. “Right before the service is fine,” I said.

“Want dinner afterwards? There’s a new chicken place, they have duck fat fries.”

“I don’t know.” I wrinkled my nose. “Don’t you think it’s kind of…I don’t know, wrong?”

“What? What about going out with my girlfriend is wrong?”

“Because we’d be coming from a memorial service for--,” I bit my lip. “I mean, memorial services are almost like funerals, right? Like, without the body?”

Steven looked at me with wide eyes. “I had no idea you felt so strongly about this,” he said. “That’s nice of you, Elizabeth. For some reason, I never figured you to be the kind of girl who cared so much about her community.”

It was a struggle not to roll my eyes. “It’s a recent development,” I said quietly. “I guess I surprise myself, too.”

Steven squeezed my hand again. I could barely look him in the eye without wanting to puke.

“Okay,” Steven said. He smiled. “I’ll pick you up at eleven tomorrow, okay?”

I nodded. “Thanks.”

Steven slowed to a stop in front of my parents’ house and I climbed out of the car, leaning back in to kiss him on the cheek. I couldn’t stop the guilt from wracking my body as I turned away and started up the drive. If I’d known things were going to turn out like this, I wondered if I’d ever have joined the coven in the first place.

I felt guilty for everything. I felt guilty for not liking Steven as much as I should. I felt guilty for thinking of David, for dreaming about David, for wondering if Monica would keep him locked in a spell forever.

But mostly, I felt guilty about Andrea. It wasn’t fair that she’d just vanished, as if she’d never walked upon this earth at all. And even if she did have an evil soul, the soul of an ancient witch, she didn’t deserve to not have a legacy.

Thunder cracked overhead and I shuddered as I pushed my way into the foyer. Mom was in the kitchen and I darted up the stairs before she could ensnare me. My heart was thudding, and while I didn’t want to be alone, I couldn’t bear the idea of talking to anyone other than Monica.

Once I was locked safely in my room, I sat on my bed and closed my eyes, leaning into the pillows and pulling a blanket over my hips. Oh, Monica, I thought as I shuddered with guilt. Why couldn’t you have just cursed me, instead?

---

In the morning, I waited for Steven outside on the porch. It was a chill spring morning, but the fresh air felt good. No one else from my house was going to the memorial – I couldn’t even think about it without mentally placing Andrea’s name before ‘memorial.’

When I saw Steven’s car, I leapt off the porch and ran over before he could stop. When he saw me, he smiled.

I felt sick.

“Hey,” Steven said. “How are you?”

I shrugged. “Not great,” I admitted. “But maybe I’ll feel better after this.”

Steven nodded. He reached over and squeezed my knee. “I’m sure you will.”

The church was packed. By the time Steven and I got there, we could only find seats towards the back. I was relieved, but also saddened – did this mean that everyone else remembered Andrea, too? Or did everyone just have the same lingering sense of tragedy, like Steven?

“Wow,” Steven whispered as we pushed our way through the crowd gathered in the narthex. “There are so many people here.”

“I know,” I replied nervously.

We sat at the end of a pew and I pulled my sweater close around my body. Despite the mass of bodies, it was freezing cold inside the church. The last time I was here, Andrea called Monica a witch in front of the whole town, I thought as I closed my hands and twisted my hands in my lap. How can everyone have forgotten?

The pastor – it was the same one who had led Andrea’s “prayer meeting” – walked to the pulpit. He was wearing long black robes with a purple cloth draped over his shoulders. He looked deeply touched.

Suddenly, a kernel of panic formed in my mind. What if he mentions Andrea by name, what if I somehow have to explain everything to Steven?

I tried to tell myself that he wouldn’t believe me – that it would sound too far-fetched – but I couldn’t help worrying.

“Dear friends,” the pastor said, leaning into the microphone. All of the ambient sounds and chatter around me died. “It is with a heavy heart that I address you all.”

A ripple of murmurs soared through the crowd and I shrank down, leaning against the bench.

“The…tragedy that struck Jaffrey has been in my heart and mind ever since, and I’m sure it’s been weighing heavily on you, as well,” the pastor continued. “At this time, I’d like to invite you all to speak, if you feel the need to share.”

I bit my lip. The pastor stepped back, holding the microphone in his hand and gesturing towards the crowd.
“Please, don’t feel that it needs to be long,” the pastor said. “But share your feeling, share your emotions with the Holy Father and the congregation, so that we may begin to heal.”

For a few minutes, the church was silent. Then a slow line of people began to form in the aisle, their heads bowed.
I recognized one of Monica’s neighbors – the one with the slain cattle – at the front of the line and I shivered. This was a bad idea, I thought, glancing around. Now it’s all Steven’s going to be able to talk about for the rest of the day.

“Hello,” the neighbor said, rasping into the microphone. “I don’t know how many of y’all recognize me…I’m Bernard Petterson, on the edge of town.”

A small smattering of applause went through the crowd.

Bernard continued: “I just wanted to say how sorry I am, I feel real bad for everyone. This hasn’t been a good year.” He paused, dramatically looking towards the ceiling of the church. “I just pray that the lord Jesus will come down and help us all.”

The pastor patted Bernard on the back and handed the microphone off. This time, I only vaguely recognized the woman holding it: she was one of the special education teachers at school, but I’d never spoken to her before. Her face was streaked with tears.

“When I think of the paranoia that gripped our town, it just about breaks my heart,” she said sweetly into the microphone. “We’ve got a lot of work to do, to heal, but I think if we stay strong, we can do it together. Don’t you all agree?”

Most people nodded and murmured agreement under their breaths.

It went on like that, for over two hours. By the time the line of people was growing shorter, my butt was numb from sitting on the wooden pew. I’d barely sneaked a glance at Steven the whole time, but now I searched his face for any trace of emotion or sadness.

He mostly just looked stoic and bored, the way I’d seen him in school before we’d ever talked.

“Let’s get out of here,” I whispered.

Steven cocked his head to the side. “You want to leave? It’s not over yet,” he added. “I thought you felt like you had to stay?”

I licked my lips. I’d expected to be wracked with guilt and grief, but if anything, I just felt more detached than ever. Somehow the service had failed to touch me – it felt fake, phony, like something that was more for the survivors than Andrea. I knew I should have been relieved that no one mentioned her by name, but surprisingly, that just made me feel worse.

Steven and I ducked out of the church, into the early afternoon sunshine. The day had warmed up and I took my sweater off, folding it in my arms and keeping my face turned to the ground.

“So, you want to get something to eat?”

I shook my head. “I was thinking we could go for a walk in the woods, just a short one,” I said. “You okay with that?”

Steven gave me an odd look, but nodded after a second. “I just want you to be happy,” he said. “Elizabeth, that’s really the only thing I care about.”

I bit my lip. “I know,” I said softly. “Thanks.”

Steven drove to the edge of town, near where the Boers’ lived. He parked at the end of the road and we climbed out of the car, walking towards the woods in silence.

“So,” I said cautiously. “How are you feeling?”

Steven shrugged. “Fine,” he said. He yawned. “That was long.”

My heart sank. “I take it you didn’t really get anything out of that,” I said softly, crunching over dead leaves and twigs. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, you wanted to go,” Steven said. He reached for my hand and squeezed. “Everything’s fine, Liz.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Don’t call me Liz,” I said. “I hate it.”

“She hates Liz,” Steven said, tapping the side of his forehead and laughing. “I think I can remember that.”

I frowned. Something about his jokey, relaxed attitude was putting me on edge. I couldn’t believe that nothing in the memorial service had triggered him – it was too normal, too wrong.

We walked on. I pushed through the trees until I was almost jogging. Steven had to walk faster to keep up and more than once he called out and asked me to stop. But I knew I had to keep going until I was as close to the coven as possible – as close to Andrea’s fragmented spirit as it was possible to get. Of course, with Steven by my side, I’d never be able to find Henrik and Ligeia.

But that didn’t mean I couldn’t try to get close.

“Elizabeth, where are we going,” Steven called. “I’m hungry.”

I set my lips in a thin line. “We can get something to eat after this,” I said. “Just a little bit longer. It’s not far.”
Shoving all thoughts of Steven out of my mind, I tried to channel the energy of the coven. Please, let me get close, I thought as I walked on. Please, just a little more.

When I felt the air begin to warm, I stopped. Turning my face up to the warming rays of the sun, I closed my eyes.

“Here,” I said. “Right here.”

Steven skidded to a stop, sending gravel and dirt flying. “Okay,” he said. He looked at me and shrugged. “What are we doing?”

Swallowing hard, I dropped to my knees. “We’re praying,” I said. “We’re praying to heal our town.”

Steven narrowed his eyes. “Elizabeth…if you feel like this, why didn’t you just say something back at the church?”

“Because that was too fake,” I said. I licked my lips. “She wouldn’t have heard us.”

“She?” Steven frowned. “Who are you talking about?”

“No one,” I lied. “Pray with me, okay?”

Steven gave me a curious look but dropped to his knees and put his hands together. “I feel like I’m back at church,” he muttered under his breath.

I ignored him. Closing my eyes, I pictured Andrea’s childish, round face. I remembered all of the times she came onto Steven in front of me, teasing me. I remembered her vindictive anger towards Monica, the way she openly hated her so much.

And then I thought about before – back when we were kids. How Andrea was always the one who cried if she fell off her bike, or how she always complained that she was cold during a snow day. I tried to remember the innocent stuff – like the time she’d earnestly asked me if the Loch Ness Monster was real after my parents had taken me on a vacation to Scotland.

Maybe it is real, Andrea, I thought with a sigh. Who knows?

When the air around me was quiet and still, I licked my lips and began.

“I’m so sorry,” I said, putting my hand down on the ground and feeling the chill, damp dirt beneath the leaves. “I’m so sorry that things turned out like this, that you had to experience such fright and pain.”

“Elizabeth, who are you talking to?”

“Shh,” I said. “I just want you to know that I loved you and cared about you. You were a good friend, and you were loyal. Just know that I’m sorry, and this wasn’t personal. It was from the past, from a long time ago, and I did what I had to do.”

I sighed, trying to picture how Andrea would accept my apology. And I was sure she’d accept it, too – after all, she was a Christian. Even if she didn’t really forgive me, she wouldn’t make me feel bad.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I swallowed a lump in my throat.

“Okay,” I said, touching the ground one more time. “Thanks for listening.”

Getting to my feet, I brushed the dirt from my knees. I’d worn a dress to church, but my tights were muddy and stained from kneeling in the grass.

Steven got to his feet and gave me an odd look. “Elizabeth, are you feeling okay?”

I nodded sadly. “Yeah,” I said quietly. “I’ll be fine. So you want something to eat?”

Half an hour later, Steven and I were seated across from each other in the diner. He hadn’t quit giving me strange looks since leaving the woods, but I genuinely was starting to feel a little better. Hopeless, endless guilt still welled inside of me like a hidden spring but I knew that eventually, I’d learn to shoulder it and begin to move on. Being in the woods had calmed me – it was just like Ligeia had said, about the magic of nature.

When the waitress stopped by the table, Steven ordered bacon cheeseburgers for both of us, with extra onion rings and fries. I hadn’t felt hungry before, instead I’d been sick and nauseous. But as soon as there was a huge plate of steaming food in front of me, I ate until I had to reach under my skirt and pull the waistband of my tights over my protruding belly.

“Feeling better?” Steven took an onion ring from my plate and wiped it in ketchup before eating it whole. “I could still have dessert,” he added.

“God, I feel like I’m going to explode,” I said. And then there it was – the guilt, rushing back. How the heck did I just eat a huge meal, I thought. I’m supposed to be in mourning! I killed someone…and her own brother doesn’t even remember her.

“So not dessert?”

I shook my head. The burger had tasted good, but my nausea was starting to come back with a vengeance.

“Can you just take me home?”

Steven paid – he insisted – and then drove me home, his hand on my knee the whole time. It was crazy – I hadn’t felt desire, or anything like it, since before the first time we’d had sex.

Or with David, I remembered, another pang of guilt searing my heart. You remember that? How that felt?

“I’m going to need some time,” I said, gently pushing Steven’s hand away. He was leaning over me with his lips puckered, ready for a kiss. “I’m sorry.”

Steven nodded. “I get that you’re going through a lot,” he said. He sighed, raking a hand through his messy blonde hair. “But I need you, Elizabeth. I need to know that you need me too.”

I nodded slowly. “I know,” I said. I forced a smile. “Thanks for taking me, and for the walk, and for lunch,” I said. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

Steven’s smile faded. “Okay,” he said. “Later, Elizabeth.”

With a heavy heart, I climbed out of the car and walked inside.

Mom and Dad left me alone the rest of the day. I thought about calling Monica, but instead climbed into bed with a book from English class, A Separate Peace. But I found that losing myself in the story of two prep-school boys with problems nothing remotely like my own proved impossible. I set the book down, closed my eyes, and fell asleep.

“The spirit of Prudence has not been demolished,” Ligeia said, her blue eyes glittering in the semi-dark.

“Why haven’t we been able to subdue her? I do not understand,” Henrik said slowly. “We did everything according to plan.”

Ligeia took a deep breath, sighing. “I do not know,” she said. “It vexes me. And it makes me so concerned for the future – if the spirit of Prudence returns in yet another lifetime. We may not be strong enough to ensure her complete removal.”

“But if she returns…”

“That will mean death for us,” Ligeia said sadly. She twined her knotted fingers in her long white hair. “That will be the end. She will win, Henrik. And we will be no more.”

Gasping and choking, I bolted awake, sitting straight up at once. My heart was pounding – what did it mean? Had that been a vision? Or merely a dream, a nightmare built on grief and guilt?

My fingers trembled as I reached for my phone. Dialing Monica, I pressed it close to my sweaty ear.

“Elizabeth?” Monica yawned. “What’s wrong?”

“I had a dream,” I said quickly. “A dream about Ligeia and Henrik.”

Monica was silent for a long time after I told her.

“Well?” I asked. “What does it mean?”

I heard a voice in the background and frowned.

“Monica? You there?”
“David, hold on,” Monica said, muffling the mouthpiece. “Give me a second.”

My heart sank.

“Sorry, Elizabeth,” Monica said. “I’m with David, he just wanted to know what was going on.”

I sighed. “What do you think? I woke up sweating,” I said. “What do you think it means?”

“I don’t know, Elizabeth,” Monica said. “I…” She trailed off.

“What?” I bit my lip. “Don’t you think this is a big deal? I mean, don’t you think we have to do something?”

“I have to do something,” Monica said. “You have to stay out of it.” She paused and I could tell she was thinking hard. “Look, something’s…not right with them right now, okay? I can’t really say anything else.”

I narrowed my eyes. “What does that even mean? Like, did they lie about something?”

“Not exactly,” Monica said. She sighed loudly into the phone and I pulled it away from my ear for a second.

“Then what?”

“I don’t know, Elizabeth, I told you – I need some time to figure this out on my own.”

“That’s not fair!” I whined. “I don’t get it – look, I joined the coven in the first place, just so I could help you! You can’t keep shutting me out, not if you want to come on top. This is a lot, Monica, you can’t handle it on your own.”

“You don’t know what I’m capable of,” Monica said darkly. Something about her words chilled me to the bone. “There’s a lot you don’t understand, and I’m still trying to figure it out myself.”

I groaned in exasperation. “But if you don’t tell me, then maybe you won’t figure it out at all! Have you ever thought about the fact that I’m trying to help you?” I asked sarcastically. “You’re my best friend, and we’re in this together! I want to make sure that nothing bad happens here!”

“Something bad has already happened,” Monica said. “Look, I’m sorry – if it were anything else, anything in the world, you know I’d tell you. But I can’t – I don’t even know the words to use, okay? You’re going to have to trust me.”

I flopped against my pillows, shaking my head. “I hate this,” I said quietly. “I hate how this is driving us apart. Next thing I know, you’re going to disappear and then you won’t come back and I’ll never know!”

Monica was silent for a long time before she replied.

“I know,” she said. “I know that’s how you feel, but I promise I won’t abandon you, Elizabeth. I swear it, okay?”

I sighed. “Fine,” I muttered angrily. “I guess this doesn’t mean anything to you, after all.”

I hung up before Monica could reply, but when I lay back down in bed, I found that I was suddenly wide awake.

Chapter Four

Monica

“Hello, Elizabeth?”

David frowned. “What did she say?”

“She hung up on me,” I said slowly. I blinked. “I can’t believe she’d do that.”

David shrugged. “Don’t worry about it, you know how moody she is.”

“Yeah, but I know she’s angry with me,” I said. And she has good reason to be, too.

David’s dark eyes turned soft and he pulled me against his lean chest. “I don’t know how anyone could ever be angry with you,” he said.

I closed my eyes and tried to relax. You don’t know the half of it, I thought grimly.

“Monica?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

I sagged against David’s body. “I love you, too,” I said quietly.

The next morning, I got up early and made breakfast for everyone – David, Jamie, and Brian. When my parents came downstairs, they gave me a surprised look.

“This is nice,” Jamie said. She narrowed her eyes. “Is there coffee?”

“Yup, already on the table.”

Jamie smiled. “What’s the occasion? I can’t remember the last time you’ve cooked for me,” she said. “Did you get a bad grade?”

I forced a laugh. Oh, nothing, Mom, I thought sarcastically. Just about to go into the woods and possibly never come home, but you never know.

“No reason,” I said finally. “I just wanted to do something nice.”

“Well, this is great,” Jamie said. “I know your father’s going to be happy, too. Did David stay?”

“Yeah. He’s in the shower. He’ll be down in a few.”

“I’m so glad you met a nice boy, Monica,” Jamie said. She rolled her eyes. “When I was in high school, all the guys were such creeps.”

“Yeah, that’s why you started dating your college history professor,” I cracked dryly.

Jamie shrugged. “And then we got married and had you, what difference does it make?”

Something about the way Jamie said that made me sad. I could tell she was thinking of the future – where I was older, maybe married with grandchildren. I could almost picture her sitting by the fire and telling my own kids how she and Brian had met.

I shuddered.

“Honey? You okay?”

I nodded and grabbed a piece of bacon from the table, barely tasting it as I wolfed it down.

“Yeah,” I lied. “I’m fine.”

After breakfast, I walked with David out to his car. I felt profoundly sad in a way that I’d never really thought myself capable of. All of this, I thought as I looked at him. For nothing.

“You’re quiet this morning,” David said as he pulled me into a tight hug. “Everything okay?”

I shrugged. “Yeah,” I said. “I don’t know. I guess I’m worried about Elizabeth,” I lied. “She seemed so upset with me last night. I should probably talk to her.”

“Girls are so moody,” David said, teasing me. He leaned down and kissed me. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to his, trying to get lost in the moment. But I couldn’t relax around David like I could before.

Since I’d cast a spell on him, everything had changed. The things about David I’d loved – his sullen wit, the way he said whatever came into his head – had all changed. Now, he was a shell of a person, someone who followed me around like a puppy and bent to my every whim.

This is why Elizabeth doesn’t want Steven anymore, I realized as I broke the kiss and pulled away. She knows it’s not real.

“Hey,” David said. “I wasn’t done yet.”

“I’m not feeling well,” I said. “I’m sorry – I think I’m just going go to lie down or something. I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“I know,” David teased. He pulled up his shirt, showing me a row of faint blue bruises on his pale white chest. “You were tossing and turning all night.”

“Sorry,” I said. “I really am sorry, David.” Sudden tears sprang to my eyes and I blinked them away, wiping at my lids with both hands.

“Hey,” David said slowly. He put his hands on my shoulders and tried to pull me close. “What’s all this, huh? What’s the matter?” He frowned. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry before.”

“Allergies,” I lied, wiping my nose on my sleeve. “You’ll be okay for the drive home?”

David nodded. “Yeah. When can I see you again? You think you could come up and stay with me for a while?”

“I don’t think so,” I said. “Sorry.”

“Too much school work?”

I nodded. “Yeah,” I said. “I really am sorry.”

David gave me a weird smile. “Stop apologizing,” he said. “Come on, Monica. This isn’t like you.”

“I know,” I said. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

David nodded. He pulled me into one last hug, squeezing me tightly. When he let go, I stood outside and watched him pull away until I couldn’t see his car anymore. With a heavy heart, I turned and walked into the woods.

I found the coven in almost no time. Part of me wondered if Ligeia and Henrik had been expecting me. I wondered why they’d sent Elizabeth that dream, and not me – was it because they’d wanted her to contact me?

Or was this all just part of a huge plan that I was only just starting to discover?

“Hello, child,” Ligeia said pleasantly. She was sitting in the middle of the clearing, dried herbs scattered around her. There was a pleasant smell in the air – lavender and sage – and I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm.

“I think you know why I’m here,” I said.

“Yes. Because of Prudence,” Ligeia said. “Well, I have good news – Henrik and I have already begun the process of splitting her soul. She will no longer torment anyone, here or on earth.”

“And…what exactly does that entail?”

Henrik stepped out from behind the trees, startling me.

“Unpleasant things,” he said. “Things that cause damage to one’s own soul.”

“Don’t do this,” I said. “Come on – you know she doesn’t pose a threat. She’s fine, she’s right here.”

“Yes, and I’d rather her not be,” Ligeia said unpleasantly. “What are you doing here? Have you come to break your vows?”

“Why do you need her soul?”

Henrik laughed. “Because as soon as she is a part of us, we will share her power.” His eyes gleamed and I shuddered. I’d never been able to think of Henrik as evil, he’d always seemed kind of like an ornery old grandfather. But now that I was here, now that I could see what Henrik and Ligeia were really plotting, I felt like The Fool, striding off the edge of a cliff, just like in the tarot.

“And we will begin a new reign,” Ligeia said. She stood and walked over to me, putting her hands on my face. I shrieked as my mind was filled with horrific visions – whole towns aflame, people screaming and groaning in pain.

“Why?” Shoving Ligeia’s hands away, I stepped back. “Why? Why do you want to cause such evil, such destruction?”

Henrik gave me a hardened glare. “I have already told you,” he said. “These people, these people whom you claim to know and value – these are the same people who persecuted us, who made our lives hell.” His lips widened into a smile that chilled me to the marrow. “And now it is our turn. Now we will make them suffer, we will make them pay.”

“But things are different now,” I protested. “People have a…much more liberal view of witches! It’s not considered a crime!”

“You saw what havoc Prudence brought to your town,” Ligeia thundered. “I have no reason to believe you, child. I see no reason to think for a second that our kind would be accepted.”

“Maybe not in Jaffrey,” I shot back. “But in bigger cities, like Boston? I know you could find a whole new tribe of admirers! And isn’t that what you want, after all? Don’t you just need approval?”

“It is too late,” Ligeia said in a sing-song voice. “The process has already begun!”

“Now, child, best for you to go home,” Henrik said. He smiled unpleasantly. “Prepare yourself, prepare Elizabeth. And if you cooperate, we will save you both.”

“I’ll tell her,” I threatened. “I’ll go home and tell her right now.”

Ligeia snorted. “Even if you did, do you really think you’d be able to defeat someone as powerful as I?” She burst into laughter.

“I know she’s not dead,” I said hotly. “I can feel her spirit, she’s here!”

Closing my eyes, I tried to sense Andrea. All I could catch was fear, panic, and a wounded heart beating slowly.

I pulled away from Ligeia and broke into a run. My heart was pounding as I darted and dashed through the coven, avoiding the huts and other witches. As I ran, they looked up at me with surprise. I pitied them – did they know? Did they care?

Or, like Henrik and Ligeia, were they all too eager for a world ready to bow to them and kiss their feet?

“Andrea!” I shrieked loudly. “Andrea, where are you?”

There was no answer. I stumbled and nearly tripped over a tree stump, but kept myself upright.

“Andrea!” I screamed. “Where are you? I want to help you,” I added, screaming until my throat ached.

As I ran towards the edge of the woods, the sound her heartbeat grew louder in my ears.

“I know you’re still here,” I called. “Let me help you!”

They locked you away, I thought angrily as I pushed into the woods and leapt over a fallen tree. They thought I wouldn’t be able to find you, Andrea. But look, here I am. And we’ll figure out something together.

I ran into a clearing. The grass was freshly cut and manicured and the smell of herbs hung heavy in the air. Sage and thyme mixed with an unpleasantly human smell – soil, and sweat, and blood.

When I saw her, I shrieked in fear. My feet felt rooted to the spot and I covered my mouth with both hands, forcing myself to stop screaming.

Andrea was lashed to a tree, her head sagging on her neck. She’d been stripped of her clothes and dressed in a robe that had once been pure white. But now it was covered with stains – blood and excrement and black smudges over her chest. Her hair was a tangled dirty mess of knots, hanging in her face. Her heartbeat was so weak that I could barely feel it, even standing right in front of her. Worst of all, her bare arms faded into a deep black by her wrists. Her fingers looked shriveled and dead, like they life had been sucked from them.

“It’s okay,” I said softly, stepping forward. “It’s all right, I’m here.”

Andrea made a sound – a guttural low keening that set my hair on end. I stepped closer and closer, examining her bonds. She was lashed at the ankles, knees, hips, and chest with leather straps that were all woven together. Whoever had bound her had meant for her to stay on the tree for a long time.

Possibly until she was dead.

“I see you’ve found her.”

I whirled around at the sound of Ligeia’s voice.

Ligeia, Henrik, and four other witches from the coven were advancing on me. Ligeia held an athame, pointed right at my chest.

“Do not even try,” Ligeia warned in a deep, cracked voice. Her blue eyes were glowing and she looked alive, young – more powerful than I ever could have imagined.

“Welcome to your new home, child,” Henrik said. He stepped forward and snapped his fingers. A red spark leapt from his hands. I watched in horror as the spark unfolded into a long, gleaming ribbon of light. I cried out as it sailed towards me, wrapping around my arms and legs until I fell helpless to the ground.

“You shall never return to your world,” Ligeia said. She smiled, stepping closer and kneeling by my side. She pressed the tip of the athame to my chest. “You will stay here, protecting us.” She smiled. “Do you understand?”

When I tried to open my lips, I found that I couldn’t speak.

Ligeia pulled a flask from the folds of her robes and pushed my lips open. Dribbling liquid into my mouth, she moved her hand over my throat until I felt myself swallow.

“You will remain alive,” Ligeia said. “Although I’m sorry to say your life will be rather…diminished. Guarding a soul is hard work, after all.”

They’ve won, I realized bitterly. They’ve finally taken me.

Chapter Five

Elizabeth

I tried calling Monica every day for a week.

But it was no use.

She was gone.

And this time, I had a feeling that it was for good.

Weeks passed and the chill spring turned into a real spring, a lush green spring that reminded me of the coven. Not that I ever thought about anything else. Ever since Monica had gone, she and the others were all I thought about.

The day I turned sixteen, there was a memorial service held for Monica. It wasn’t at the church – Jamie and Brian wouldn’t have liked that very much – but at a Quaker meeting home on the outskirts. I went with my family, expecting a low turnout. But I was shocked – as soon as I stepped inside, I saw that the place was packed.

“Wow,” I muttered.

“What’s that, honey?” Mom touched me on the shoulder. “Did you say something?”

“Nothing,” I said softly. “It’s just…there are more people here than for the town thing, at church.”

“Oh,” Mom said.

Steven spotted me and waved, pushing through a huge crowd of other kids. He pulled me into a tight hug and I stepped back, blushing hotly. My mom was giving us a curious look.

“All of my friends came,” Steven said. He raked a hand through his hair and sighed. “They’re all really upset, you know. Monica was a really cool girl.”

I narrowed my eyes and peered over Steven’s shoulder. He was right – a huge group of the most popular kids in town were all seated up front. Some of the girls were weeping.

I frowned.

“What’s wrong? I thought you’d be happy that everyone came,” Steven said. “I mean, isn’t that what Monica would’ve wanted?”

No, I thought. She’d rather come back from the dead and call all of these people losers, because they never gave a fuck about her when she was alive.

“I guess,” I said lamely. “I don’t really know.”

“Come sit with us,” Steven said. “I’m sure everyone will be glad to see you.”

I frowned. Steven took my hand and squeezed.

“I know this must be hard,” Steven said. “You guys were best friends.”

“Do…do you remember anything like this happening before?” I asked tentatively. “Like, do you ever remember Monica going away before now?”

Steven shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess not,” he said. “Why? What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” I said darkly. “Let’s go sit down.”

Steven led me through the room – it was circular, with lots of wooden chairs all turned to face a large picture of Monica. Jamie and Brian were nowhere to be seen, although it was so crowded that it was hard for me to really make anyone out. Everyone was dressed in black and most people looked devastated – the same way they’d looked when Andrea had vanished.

I shuddered. This is so fucked up, I thought, shaking my head. Death does strange things to people. But she can’t really be dead, can she?

When Steven and I reached his group of friends, we sat down. Immediately, Trisha Charles, one of the most popular girls in school, came over. Her face was streaked with tears and she couldn’t stop sniffling.

“Oh my god, Elizabeth, I’m so sorry,” Trisha said. She flung her arms around my neck and pulled me into a close, intimate hug.

I awkwardly patted her on the back. “Thanks,” I said softly. “I am, too.”

“Monica was so cool,” Trisha said. She pulled back, sniffling and sobbing. Rubbing her red nose with a tissue, she shook her head sadly. “She was like, really smart.”

“She was,” I said. “Were you…friends with her?”

“No,” Trisha said. She blew her nose. “But like, I knew her, you know? I mean everyone knew her. This is a small town, we’re all so connected.”

It was hard not to roll my eyes.

“Yeah,” I said. “I guess you’re right.”

The service was short. A non-denominational pastor stood up and made a short speech, talking about Monica’s life and everything she’d liked. It felt so strange – everyone else around me was sobbing so hard they sounded like they were on the verge of vomiting. But I couldn’t summon a single tear, no matter how sad and guilty and alone I felt.

Steven squeezed my hand. “You okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah,” I whispered back. “I’m fine.”

The pastor cleared his throat. “At this time, I’d like to invite friends of Monica to speak, if they so wish,” he said. “We have time for a few speakers.”

All of the popular girls, including Trisha, leapt up and formed a line behind the pastor.

I narrowed my eyes.

“They didn’t even know her,” I muttered under my breath. “I bet they never even talked!”

Steven turned to me with a frown. “Hey, be nice,” he said. “They’re sad, too – it’s hard when a classmate dies.”

“Yeah, but they weren’t friends,” I said. “What are they going to say about her? That they always saw her in the halls?”

Steven shrugged. “I don’t know, Elizabeth,” he said. “Just calm down. You weren’t the only person who cared about her.”

I glared. Although I didn’t appreciate what he’d said, at least it was better than the constant fawning and praise and desperate need for my attention.

Trisha cleared her throat into the microphone and wiped at her eyes. “I’d just like to say a few things about Monica,” she said. She sniffled and there was a smatter of applause.

I rolled my eyes.

“Monica was such a great girl,” Trisha said. “She was always, like, so smart. I’m going to miss her so much, I mean, nothing is ever going to be the same. My life is like, totally different now.”

“This is awful,” I murmured to Steven. “She knew nothing about her!”

“She was smart,” Steven said. He shrugged and narrowed his eyes at me. “You should be more open-minded, Elizabeth. You don’t have the sole lock on grieving for her.”

His words pushed me over the edge. I pulled my hand back, took a deep breath, and stood up, standing at the end of the line of popular girls.

It was a long wait. It seemed like every former homecoming queen and prom queen and runner-up was standing in front of me, somehow making Monica’s death all about them.

When it was my turn, the people watching looked tired.

“I won’t be long,” I said, clearing my throat and sniffling. “I just wanted to say that Monica was more than a friend to me, she was like a sister. I always admired her – she did whatever she wanted, and she never let anyone stop her.” Guilt plagued me and I closed my eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. “I wasn’t always the best friend to her, but it didn’t matter. She did…she did some great things, and my life would be totally different today if it wasn’t for her.”

I saw Jamie and Brian, standing in the back, looking at me sadly. Between that and the unfortunate truth of what I’d just said, the tears finally came. I blinked them away and handed off the microphone as quickly as I could.

Back in my chair, Steven put his arm around me and held me close.

The service wasn’t much longer than that. The pastor did a blessing – he didn’t even say ‘heaven,’ he said ‘the afterlife’ – and invited us all to a reception at Jamie and Brian’s home. Then it was over.

Steven and I stood up together.

“Do you want to go?”

“I should say something to her parents,” I said softly. “I don’t really want to stay, though. Are you coming?”

Steven nodded. My heart sank – I wouldn’t have admitted it, but I’d been secretly hoping that Steven wouldn’t want to go. I knew that if he went, all of the popular kids would, too…and then I’d be sitting there, hating all of them, for practically no reason at all.

I kept my head down as we walked out of the meeting house and into the bright sunshine. It was one of the first truly hot days we’d had. I’m sixteen, I thought sadly as I followed Steven to his car. And if Monica were still here, she’d have turned sixteen the week before. And she’d be teasing me about having her driver’s license, while I only have a permit.

“Elizabeth?”

At the sound of my name, my head snapped up. I turned around and saw David standing there, clad in all-black like always.

“Hey,” I said softly. “Steven, go ahead, I’ll catch up with you in a second.”

Steven narrowed his eyes. “I’ll stay with you,” he said.

“No,” I said quickly. “It’s fine, just give me a minute. I’ll be right there. It’s okay,” I added. “It’s Monica’s boyfriend. I just…want to say something to him.”

Steven frowned but reluctantly turned on his heel and kept walking towards the parking lot.

David looked supremely uncomfortable. He shielded his eyes from the sun, then stepped into the shade of a tree.
“I didn’t see you in there,” I said, gesturing to the building. “Were you in the back?”

David shook his head. “No. I couldn’t bear the thought of being surrounded by those idiots who didn’t know her.”

Just being next to him was making my heart pound faster.

“Are you going to her parents’ place?”

“No,” David said. “I just came to say goodbye, Elizabeth.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Where are you going?”

David shrugged. “I don’t know yet,” he said. “But I have to get out of here for a while. I don’t…” He trailed off. “It doesn’t matter,” he added. “I just thought I should say bye.”

“Oh.” Everything in me wanted to throw my arms around David and pull him close, kiss him deeply, beg him not to leave…or to take me with him.

“Yeah,” David said. He held out his hand. After a few seconds, I pressed my palm against his. David lifted my hand to his mouth and gently kissed my fingers. A thrill shot through my body.

“Bye, Elizabeth,” David said quietly. “Good luck.”

When I realized he wasn’t going to say anything else, or suddenly confess desperate love for me, my heart sank.

“Bye,” I choked out. The word felt strangely inadequate. David tore his eyes from mine and walked away. I watched him until he disappeared, hoping he’d look back at me.

But he never did.

“Hey, Elizabeth, what was that?” Steven tapped me on the shoulder and frowned. “That guy seems like such a creep.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said bitterly. “He’s leaving, and he’s not coming back.”

Steven put an arm around me and squeezed me. I had the sudden urge to put my hands on his chest and push him away, as hard as I could.

“Come on,” Steven said. “We should get going.” He took my hand and started leading me to his car.

What else could I do? I had no choice.

Chapter Six

Elizabeth – Three Years Later

I stayed numb for a long time. For weeks, for months, even for years. I felt like a zombie, barely in control of myself, barely able to make even the most basic of decisions. By some miracle, I finished my sophomore year in one piece – looking back, I’m pretty sure that the school took pity on me because of Monica.

I looked for the coven almost every day. I spent countless hours in the woods, searching for Henrik, Ligeia, Monica, or any trace of the other witches. But despite all of my heartache and sadness, I never found it again. I never found anything even resembling the clearing.

Sometimes, I wondered if everything had been a weird dream.

Steven and I stayed together. He graduated from high school and then went to college in Vermont, where David had been planning to go. That was my only consolation – David wasn’t there now, no one had heard from him in years – but sometimes when I went to visit Steven, I’d look at the buildings and wonder what David thought when he saw the same places.

When I graduated, I joined Steven there. My mom was thrilled – every time I called home, she’d make jokes about wedding bells. Even after leaving Jaffrey, I still felt the fog of the past clinging to me with each and every passing second of time.

But little did I know, things were about to change.

“I just don’t see why you have to go for a whole semester,” Steven said. He narrowed his eyes and pulled the glossy brochure from my hands. “Or why you couldn’t have done it last year, when I was still eligible?”

“Because the U doesn’t let freshmen study abroad,” I said crossly. “And you know I’ve always wanted to do this. I’ve talked about it for years, even back in high school.”

“Well, what if we just took a trip together? Like a vacation, we could go for a couple of weeks over the January term?”

“Steven, that’s a totally different thing,” I said, shaking my head. “I mean, yeah, that would be great. And you can come visit! But I really, really want this. Please don’t make me choose,” I added.

“I just want to know that you’re committed to me,” Steven said. His eyes lit up. “We could get married! They probably have housing for married students.”

My heart sank. “Steven, I’m only nineteen,” I said softly. “I…I’m not really ready for that big of a step yet.” I reached for his hand and squeezed it. “This is just a little space. Lots of people do it. Kurt and Brittany did it last year,” I added. “And he’s your best friend! And they’re still fine!”

“You’re my best friend,” Steven said stubbornly. “And they took a ‘break’ while she was in France, and I know for a fact that they both slept with other people.”

“Well, I don’t really see how that’s bad,” I said slowly. “They’re fine now.”

Steven looked aghast. “Elizabeth, how can you say something like that? You’re mine,” he growled. “And I don’t want you going off like that without me!”

“We can talk every day,” I said, shaking my head in exasperation. Standing up from the bed, I walked over to the window. “I promise, and we can text all the time.”

Steven sighed. “I just don’t like it,” he said stubbornly. “And I don’t understand why you have this sudden need for space,” he added in a derisive voice. “Is this some bullshit about finding yourself? Do you just want to go so you can sleep with every guy in sight and get drunk every night?”

“Ouch,” I said. “God, is that really what you think of me?”

Steven glared. “I don’t know what to think,” he said sourly. “It’s like, you’re this whole new person just because you want to go to England for a year.”

“For a semester,” I corrected. “That’s less than six months! We’ve been together four years, Steven! That’s nothing!”

Steven crossed his arms over his chest and stuck out his lower lip. I rolled my eyes – sitting there on my narrow dorm bed, he looked like a sullen child.

“Don’t do this,” I said. “Come on, it’s not a good look. You know I don’t want anyone else, Steven. I just want you, okay? But I want to travel, too – and this is a really good opportunity. I already got a scholarship, and my parents hardly have to pay for anything.”

"I think you're just using it as an excuse," Steven said angrily. He stood up and began pacing back and forth, stomping like an angry kid.

“I’m not!” I protested. “You’re not even listening to me. I mean, come on – didn’t you think about how cool it would be to study abroad? Meet people from other parts of the world? Get to explore an old city?”

“I never wanted to be away from you,” Steven said hotly. He crossed the room in one giant stride and took my hands, pulling me close. “I always wanted to be with you, Elizabeth.”

My shoulders sagged. “Steven…please don’t make me do this,” I whispered. “Please don’t make me hate you.”

“How could I do that,” Steven said tenderly, leaning down and kissing my forehead. I resisted the urge to push him away. “I love you, Elizabeth.”

“I love you, too,” I said. Although I don’t really feel like it right now, I thought angrily. Controlling bastard.

“How about this,” Steven said. “You go for a shorter time, and when you get back, we move in together? Does that sound good?”

“I still have two more years of school,” I said. “I…don’t feel ready for that yet.”

“When then what do you fucking feel ready for, Elizabeth,” Steven asked angrily. “Because I get the sense you don’t give a shit about me!”

“I’m ready to stay in a relationship with you,” I said firmly. “And I’m ready to go to England for a semester, and study there, and continue being in a relationship with you.”

Steven rolled his eyes. “So nothing,” he said. “I mean, right? We don’t want the same things.”

“You’re two years older,” I said softly. “Give me time, Steven. I’ll get there. I know I will, okay?”

Steven didn’t reply.

“If you make me choose between this and our relationship, Steven, I’m going to resent you,” I said softly. “And I don’t want to do that, but I need you to cut me a little slack. I’m going, but I promise, we’ll Skype every night, okay? I’ll never be out of touch for too long. And I don’t want to take a break.”

“And when you come back, we’ll talk about moving in together?”

I bit my lip. “I’ll think about it,” I said slowly. “That’s…that’s all I can promise right now, Steven.”

Steven rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever,” he said dismissively. “Have fun in London, Liz.”

He stomped to the doorway and threw the door open, slamming it shut behind him.

I knew I should chase after him, cry, say that I was sorry.

But I wasn’t sorry – if anything, I felt more alive and awake than I’d felt in years.

--

Classes at Oxford started a few days after classes at the U. Steven told me he wanted me to stay on campus with him, but I declined. Instead, I packed up my stuff and drove home to spend a few days with my parents. I hadn’t really been back since I’d left for college the year before – most holidays I spent with Steven’s family, outside of Jaffrey.

It was strange to acknowledge how free I felt as I drove south, my favorite playlist blaring from the speakers of my car. Maybe this is the start of something new, I thought as I coasted into Jaffrey at the end of the afternoon. Maybe Steven will be less controlling now, maybe he’ll get used to some space.

The truth was, our relationship hadn’t been doing well lately. I hadn’t told anyone – it felt weird talking about my personal life with friends – and everyone still thought of us as the perfect couple. But Steven had been even moodier and more suffocating than usual. His best friend, Kurt, had recently moved in with his girlfriend and despite the fact that they were both two years older than me, Steven had begun treating it as some kind of competition.

I was desperate to live on my own, at least for now. Sharing a room with three other girls my freshman year had been a terrible adventure…I wasn’t looking forward to doing that again, at least, not so soon. My mom seemed confused that I wasn’t chomping at the bit to move in with Steven, but at least she never said anything too rude about it.

I wondered how many people thought I was a total idiot for not committing to him with every fiber of my being. As much as I wanted to think it didn’t matter, I knew it did. It mattered to Steven, and unless I came around, I had a feeling our fights would get even worse.

Being back in Jaffrey gave me chills. As I pulled into the driveway, I looked around, half-expecting to see the ghosts of my past floating out of the woods and threatening to haunt me forever. But my parents’ house looked just the same as always: lawn neatly trimmed, clean-yet-cluttered interior.

It even smelled the same.

“Mom?” I called. “I’m home.”

There was no answer. Frowning, I left my bags in the foyer as I walked into the kitchen.

“Hey.”

The rough, scratchy voice made me jump. Whirling around, I saw my brother, Aidan, and gasped.

“You look so different!”

Aidan laughed. He was finally taller than me – by at least a head and a half – and he stood there, smirking and shaking his head. There was a hint of dark scuff on his cheeks and neck and his Adam’s apple protruded from his throat.

“Yeah,” Aidan said. He pulled me into a hug and I was surprised to feel the strength of his arms around me. “I’m all grown up, I guess. You look the same, though.”

“No shit,” I said, pulling away and reaching to ruffle his hair. Aidan ducked and we both burst out laughing.

“Mom’s out, doing something,” Aidan said. He wrinkled his nose. “She wanted me to stay home because there’s something in the oven. God, I’m starving,” he added. “You hungry?”

I shrugged. “Not really.”

Aidan pulled a huge container of fruit out of the fridge and made himself a plate, complete with a sandwich and three dill pickles.

“God, that’s a lot of food.”

Aidan raised an eyebrow. “You should hear Mom and Dad,” he said, wolfing down a huge bite of pear. “They keep talking about how they wish I was a girl, cause you barely ate when you were in high school.”

“That’s what they get for having more than one kid,” I said with a smirk. “How are things around here, really?”
Aidan shrugged. “The same, I guess,” he said. “I mean, it’s weird.” He cleared his throat and wiped his mouth with a napkin before leaning back in his chair. “I guess I never really noticed when I was younger, but I dunno…” He trailed off, his cheeks turning pink.

I narrowed my eyes. “What? What do you mean by that, exactly?”

Aidan shrugged again. “Nothing, it’s just…I don’t know, there’s kind of a weird energy around here,” he added, wrinkling his nose. “I know that makes me sound queer, but it’s like, you can’t ignore it.”

“Has anything happened at school? Like, has anyone disappeared? Or died? Or gotten hurt in a really weird way?”

Aidan took the last half of his sandwich and devoured it whole, chewing thoughtfully.

“Yeah,” Aidan said. “I mean, no one died, or disappeared, or anything. But like, this one class that started – it wasn’t there when you were still in high school – about how to navigate in the woods and make trails and shit, well, they all got lost in the woods for a couple of days. They were okay, but like, none of them would talk about it afterwards. I think it was probably scary or some shit.”

My heart jumped into my throat.

“Which woods?”

“The woods behind Monica’s old house,” Aidan said. He bit into a banana, eating half of it in one bite. “Her parents aren’t there anymore,” he added. “They moved a couple of years back.”

“Oh.”

It was all I could say.

“Anyway, England, huh? That’s cool,” Aidan said. “You excited?”

I nodded. “Yeah,” I said. “I am.”

“Lucky,” Aidan said. He yawned, stretching his hands high up in the air. “Nothing exciting ever happens around here. I’d kill to go to England.”

I licked my lips. Yeah, I thought, staring at my baby brother and wondering just how much evil was still lurking in Jaffrey. You’re lucky, you don’t know the half of it.

That night, I went for a walk in the woods, hoping to find the coven. But the woods remained elusive, and when the sun was starting to peek over the horizon, I knew I didn’t have a choice.

---
The next morning, Mom drove me to Logan airport. She hugged me for a long time and stared at me critically, narrowing her eyes.

“I hope you’ll email me every now and then,” Mom said. I could tell she was trying to a light tone but she sounded like a woman sending her own daughter off to the slaughter. “I’ll miss you, honey.”

“I’ll write every week,” I said. “Well, I’ll try.”

“You have your passport? And your money to get exchanged?”

I nodded.

“And you called your bank, and said you’re going to be in England for six months, and that they shouldn’t authorize any U.S. purchases?”

“Yes,” I said. I looked down. “Mom, I love you, but I have to go – there’s a huge line by security, and I don’t want to miss my flight.”

My mom nodded. “You really are grown up, sweetie.” She pulled me into a hug. “I’m proud of you. You know, you can always come back if you don’t like it.”

“I think I’ll be okay,” I said, trying hard not to sound too excited to be fleeing. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you, sweetie.” Mom kissed me on the cheek. “You be safe, okay?”

“I will.”

Mom gave me one last hug and then I wrestled my two huge suitcases inside. The line to check in for United flights was trailing back, almost to the doors, and I groaned as I realized I was going to be standing for a long time. Fortunately, as soon as I was there, the line started moving almost instantly. I barely had time to wrestle my passport and driver’s license from my wallet when it was my turn to check in.

After I got through security, I bought myself a pretzel and settled into a chair by the gate. To my immense irritation, I saw that I had fourteen messages – all from Steven.

“Good morning, babe. Have fun with your mom on the way to the airport!”

“Hey babe, miss you already. Kurt says hi.”

“Hey, Elizabeth, you okay?”

“Elizabeth, are you getting these messages?”

“Are you at the airport?”

“When is your flight, can I have the flight number? I already forgot?”

“Elizabeth, I’m really worried. I’m calling your house.”

“Okay, your brother said your mom just got home, so where are you?”

“Elizabeth, where are you?”
“Babe, please, answer me – are you mad at me?”

“Because if you’re mad, I’m really sorry!”

“Elizabeth, answer your phone!”

“I’m sorry just please answer me I miss you so much.”

“Elizabeth what the fuck”

I rolled my eyes and texted him back: “Hey, sorry! Phone was off. Getting on the plane now, I’ll text you when I land!”

I powered my phone off and slipped it into my pocket. Part of me was almost paranoid that he’d do something crazy, like show up at the airport with a huge bouquet, a flash mob, and a proposal. It scared me so much that I kept twisting around in my seat and making sure that there weren’t any guys with dirty blonde hair in sight.

But thankfully, nothing like that happened.

The flight was long – longer than I’d ever been on a plane before. As we sped towards takeoff, I gripped both armrests of my seat with white-knuckled hands. I’d flown a few times before, and I’d never liked it, it had always terrified me.

But seven hours later, I touched down at Heathrow miraculously unscathed. From the airport, I caught a train to Oxford and spent an hour and a half gazing out at the beautiful English countryside. It looks like Vermont, I thought as the train whizzed by small town after small town. Imagine going halfway around the world and finding a place that looks just like where you’ve come from.

I was going to be sharing a flat with two other students from abroad, but neither of them had arrived by the time I picked up the keys and carried my bags up five flights of rickety, narrow steps. I claimed the biggest room, the one with a double bed, and decided to lie down.

When I woke up, it was after dark. I was starving, and the pantry was completely empty. I had another twenty-five messages from Steven – this time, I texted back and said that I was fine, but that I didn’t have great cell reception – and then looked up a few nearby pubs. There was one only a few minutes from the flat, so I took a shower and changed into fresh jeans and a black shirt.

The pub was crowded, full of college kids by the time I got there. I loved the mix of accents – something about British accents always sounded so educated to me – and I could barely order a beer and a burger for myself without blushing at the cute bartender. I half expected some of the kids in there to start talking to me, but no one did.

Happy, Steven, I thought as I looked around, chewing thoughtfully on a French fry. Everyone’s ignoring me – you must’ve sent some kind of memo to the students of Oxford before I even got here.

“Elizabeth?”

My jaw dropped and a half-chewed fry fell from my mouth into my lap. My cheeks flushed hot red as I spun around on the bar stool and saw David, standing there with a shocked look on his face.

“David?” God, what a stupid thing to say! Of course, it’s David. Real smart, Elizabeth.

David smiled weakly. He looked older – there was a line of dark stubble on his pale face, but he was still dressed in black with long dark hair flopping in his eyes.

“Yeah,” David said. “I thought that was you.” He shook his head and stepped closer. Both of the stools next to me were taken, so he stood next to my knees, staring into my eyes.

“I thought I was going to have a heart attack when I heard you say my name,” I said softly, pushing my plate to the side. My appetite had completely vanished – now my stomach was a twisting, churning mess of anxiety.
“What are you doing here?”

“I’m studying at Oxford for the semester. I got a scholarship, and I really wanted to go abroad…so here I am, I guess,” I said, feeling lame. “You?”

David ran a hand through his dark hair and sighed. It was strange – he couldn’t take his eyes off me, but there was something strange, almost hesitant about him.

“I graduated high school early and moved to London, went to King’s College and now I’m here.”

“Are you…?”

“Research. I’m in astrophysics.”

I nodded. “That’s cool,” I said slowly. Somehow, being with David again was making me feel as awkward as I’d been as a teenager. “So, I mean, how are you?”

David shrugged. “I’m okay,” he said. “I haven’t gone back to the States since I left. I don’t really know that I will. I like it here.” He snickered. “Everyone’s so cynical, I feel right at home.”

The person next to me left and David perched on the stool, hooking his long legs around it and leaning over the bar, as sensual as a cat.

“You want a beer?” I pointed to my empty glass.

David nodded. He flagged down the bartender and ordered for both of us, paying before I could even pull my wallet out of my jeans.

We drank in mostly silence. I couldn’t get over seeing him, in person, after so long. He was different – less sullen – but his spirit was so familiar that it almost hurt. I felt like there was nothing I could say –every word, every phrase sounded so lame in my head that I barely opened my mouth. David didn’t try to talk much, either. By the time my second glass was empty, I was starting to feel tipsy and uncomfortable.

David got to his feet and stretched. “It was good to see you,” he said. “Maybe we’ll bump into each other sometime. I come here a lot.”

Without thinking about what I was doing, I scribbled my number on a napkin. “Here,” I said. “Call me sometime, I don’t know anyone here.”

David gave me an amused smile. “You’ll make friends, Elizabeth – you’ll be in a program with tons of other people just like you. I mean, not just like you,” he added quickly. “But you know, in the same situation.”