Chapter Seven
Finn finally managed to meet up with Ethan after not hanging out in the last few days. He found that he missed his friend.
While Ethan wasn't a huge outcast like Finn seemed to be recently, he still wasn't as accepted within the community – and he was an alpha. Tensions were still high, and Finn didn't know when he'd get the approval of every single shifter in the Moonlight Maine Pack. He hoped soon. And he hoped that Lea approved of him, at the very least.
Just thinking about her made him miss her more, which was crazy because they hadn’t even become good friends until recently. And were they even good friends? They’d only talked to each other a few times. Finn didn’t know. He just knew that he loved being around her. He loved the way she made him feel just from the slightest glance. It was like she was his drug, and he never wanted to quit this new addiction.
“I’m not prepared to be an alpha, man,” Ethan told his friend over lunch at the pack bar. “I have my older brother taking care of things back home, and I kind of want him to just take over at this point.”
Ethan became alpha as his father’s last dying wish a few weeks ago. He was young, one of the youngest alphas around, at his early 20’s. Shifters didn’t normally become alphas until they were a bit older. Ethan and about half of his pack were in Maine now, training and trying to help out Hann and the Moonlight Pack as much as they could. The other half of his pack were back in their hometown, with Ethan’s older brother – who really didn’t want the alpha job, according to Ethan – who was taking care of things back there.
Ethan would be leaving Maine soon, though Finn knew that he didn’t want to. It was like he wasn’t alpha when he was in Maine, even though he was in all the alpha meetings and constantly seemed to be working. It would be completely different when Ethan reunited his whole pack and was in his own territory.
Then he would learn if he really was cut out to do this whole alpha thing.
Finn knew his friend, though. And Ethan was a natural-born leader. If he couldn’t be a good alpha, no one could.
He told his friend as much over lunch, to which Ethan shrugged him off and shook his head. Finn couldn’t stand his modesty sometimes, though he knew that Ethan had been through a lot recently. And he had a lot to live up to – his dad was a legend during his reign.
“I have to tell you something,” Finn said after reassuring Ethan that he was going to be a great alpha. “Mainly because I don’t have anyone else to tell. Without them all laughing at me, of course.”
“Tell me, brother,” Ethan said, leaning back and sipping his diet coke. Finn thought he looked like a little kid in that moment. “I’m all ears.”
“I kind of have this thing with someone in the Moonlight Maine Pack,” he confessed, nerves coming over him. He almost didn’t want to tell Ethan. That would make all of his emotions so much more real.
“Hazel?” Ethan blurted out, sitting straight up and almost slamming his soda on the table. Finn looked at him in surprise, figuring out immediately the feelings that Ethan seemed to have for Lea’s best friend.
“Nope. Not her.” Finn smiled at his friend, trying to hold in his laughter. He knew what it felt like to be laughed at, regarding emotions and flirtations, thanks to his own pack members. He didn’t want to do the same thing to Ethan.
“Oh. Well, she’s cute. In that type of way. If you’re into that.”
“I’m not. Some are, though, I’m sure.” Finn winked at him, to which Ethan almost seemed to be deterred.
“We’re just gonna drop this and talk about who you actually have a thing with,” Ethan finally said. Finn could see that the alpha didn’t want to talk about it, so he decided to just drop it.
“You know Lea?”
"No way." Ethan looked stunned. It seemed to be the common reaction whenever anyone heard about them. Tatiana, Lorelei, and Desmond all had the same reaction – and then began to laugh at him because they thought the whole thing was ridiculous. Ethan, though, didn't laugh. He just looked a bit confused. "She's not really your type, is she?"
“No. She’s not. But, man, I can’t explain it. It’s crazy the way she makes me feel. I don’t know how I didn’t feel it before, but suddenly, as I began to talk to her more and more, I began to feel this pull toward her. It’s weird because she’s not my type – and I’m sure as hell not hers. She’s beautiful, but she’s too good for me, isn’t she? I know this, which is why I don’t want to pursue anything, but I can’t help it.”
“Sounds like you’ve got it bad.” Finn looked up at Ethan after staring at his empty plate, and he saw the strangest look on his face.
“Yeah, I can’t really explain it. And I don’t really know what to do. I guess I just had to tell someone and get it off my chest. My pack doesn’t understand – they just laugh at the whole situation.”
“Have you ever thought… Never mind…”
Finn looked at Ethan, who was deep in thought. Finn was confused, and he wanted to know exactly what Ethan was thinking.
“Have I ever thought what?” He asked, leaning forward slightly and looking at Ethan expectantly.
“Have you ever thought that maybe she’s your mate? You know, you’re one and only?”
“What?”
Finn stared at his friend in utter shock. Mates, and one true loves, existed in the shifter world. That was a fact. But there were so many people that never met their one true loves and lived happily with another. It was hard to determine what made a lover a "one true love", as shifters bonded quickly and tended to feel emotions such as love and lust very strongly.
Rumor is, if a shifter meets their mate – their one true love – they know it. There is no second guessing the person they’re with. Mates are for life. Mates are bonded in ways that are magic and aren’t explained in a cause and effect sort of way. The chemistry is just there – and shifters just tend to accept it. Mates are impossible to shake and are constantly together. Not being around your mate for a long time can be potentially damaging to some – which is why it never truly happens.
But was Lea Finn’s mate? His one true love? He almost didn’t want to think about it, the pressure was too high. He never thought he’d find a shifter that he would recognize as his one true mate. It was impossible, wasn’t it?
Maybe it wasn’t.
“Maybe Lea is your mate,” Ethan repeated as Finn looked confused and bewildered – and almost like he was going to throw up. “If you’re so confused as to the way you’re acting around her, it could be a possibility. Or it could just be that you’re horny.”
“Let’s go with the latter,” Finn said, laughing and taking a sip of his water.
He really didn’t want to think about the alternative. Because that thought was just crazy.
Right?
“Do you want to find your one true mate, though?” Ethan asked him, sipping his soda as he stared at him. Finn didn’t want to have this conversation, simply because he didn’t know the answer. He never really thought about it before, but now that Ethan brought up the possibility that Lea could be his one true mate, Finn couldn’t get the idea out of his head.
"I honestly don't know," he finally said after searching his brain. He felt like his answer was dumb and not at all truthful, but he wasn't exactly prepared to go soul digging at one o’clock in the afternoon in the middle of a café. So regardless of whether this is just a sex thing, or if it's something a bit more serious, I'm not worthy. I don't care about my feelings, I care about hers. And I know me. I'll destroy her, and it'll be horrible."
“I don’t think you give yourself enough credit, man,” Ethan said, laughing a little. “You’re not the monster you set yourself out to be, you know.”
“No. But I’m pretty close.”
Finn didn’t want to go into all the gory details of his past love affairs. He felt like those were such a long time ago, back when he didn’t know what love was. Did he even know what love was now? His mind flashed to the way Lea looked in the bar at Britta’s party. The white spring dress that she wore had to have left her cold later in the night when she left, the spring Maine air probably making her regret wearing something like that. She looked gorgeous though, and Finn found himself imagining him wrapping her up in his arms to keep her warm that night.
He wished his imagination was actually the real thing. He wished that he was with her right now.
Shit! Finn tried to focus on whatever Ethan was telling him now, but he literally couldn’t concentrate on anything other than Lea’s hair, Lea’s eyes, Lea’s mouth… He had it bad, and he really didn’t know if this was just a sex thing or if there was some magic in the air. He hoped it was just sex. He hoped he could get it out of his system.
He didn’t know if he liked this power that Lea had over him just by existing. She was making him insane.
“Do you want to find your one mate?” Finn asked Ethan, turning the tables on his friend so that he could maybe focus on something else. His daydreaming about Lea seemed to be getting out of hand, even to him.
“Yeah, I think so,” Ethan replied, a hint of a smile on his face.
Finn wished he could be that confident in his quest for love. But he simply couldn’t. He’d been in relationships before, and he hadn’t been the best partner around. Who was he to demand that he find his one mate to spend the rest of his life with? His mate would probably hate him in the end. Had that ever happened in all of shifter history? Probably not, but Finn was sure that he would be the first.
His thoughts went back to Lea as they got the check and paid for their meal. He hoped and prayed that Ethan wasn’t right about Lea being his mate, mainly because then Lea would be tied to him for all of eternity. And Lea deserved so much more than him, that much he knew.