Chapter Nine
Finn didn’t want to leave Lea by herself and when he found out that she lived alone, two thoughts came to mind. She really shouldn’t be alone after something like this just happened. What if she’s really frightened and just wouldn’t be honest and tell him how she was really feeling?
“You really didn’t have to drive me home,” Lea told him for the thousandth time. Finn didn’t feel comfortable with her going home alone, so he made her hop in his truck. He couldn’t help the protective instinct that he had coursing through his veins. His wolf was protective already, and when he was in his human form, it was like his other half was screaming to be let out so that he could protect the gorgeous lady beside him.
“Yes, I did,” was all Finn would say. He didn’t want to leave her. He hoped he wasn’t intruding on her personal life or anything, though he knew that she would tell him if he was.
He couldn't get the image of her standing there with the rogue out of his head. When he came rushing out of the gym, shifting into his wolf form in the process, so many things were playing in his mind. He could smell her fear, along with the rogue's anger. They got lucky this time.
The idea of what would have happened had he not been there, or if Hann and the rest didn't show up, refused to leave his mind. He was just thankful that she wasn't hurt in any way and was just thankful no one was hurt.
It could’ve been much worse. Finn didn’t have to ask Lea if she knew that. Her face and the emotions that she was trying to put at bay, and trying to hide from him, were telling enough. It took everything in him to not reach out and tell her that everything would be okay. He would protect her. The wolf in him would make him protect her.
"Are you nervous?" Lea suddenly asked him. Finn looked over to see that she had swiveled around in the passenger seat, with her feet up on the seat. She was holding her knees to her chest and looking at him with those blue eyes as if she could see his inner most thoughts. Her blonde hair was tied up into a sloppy bun on the top of her head, little flyaway hairs that surrounded her temple everywhere because of their practice session earlier. She had never looked as gorgeous to him before that moment.
She was stunning, in that simple, understated way. And he knew that he wasn’t going to be able to deny her for much longer. She had cast such a spell over him. He had never felt this way about anyone before.
Suddenly, everything that he and Ethan had talked about came rushing back to him, making him stare at where he was driving and no longer look into her blue eyes. He had to focus on the road. She couldn't be his mate… There was no way, and he didn't even want to think about any of the possibilities of why he felt this way. It would make it too real.
“Why would I be nervous?” he finally asked. He was nervous. He didn’t know if it was because he was so close to her, her flowery scent surrounding him as if he was buried in it, or if it was because of everything that just happened. Maybe it was a combination of the two. He didn’t want to leave her, for the fear that something else could happen when he was gone. It was a long shot, of course, but when he had fears, he couldn’t just will them away. They stayed in his mind for a while.
“I don’t know,” she finally said, and when Finn looked over at her, she was resting her head on the top of her bent knees, staring at him. “You just look a little tense.”
Finn realized after she motioned to his tense shoulders and tight grip on the wheel, that he was incredibly tense. He decided, before his brain could tell him to shut up, that he was going to be honest with her.
“I just don’t want anything else to happen to you,” he said, then let out a breath held in without realizing it. He wasn’t going to tell her how he felt about her. Now was not the time nor place. Plus, if he said anything like that, he would find himself in a downward spiral full of lust that would only be satisfied from one thing. “The idea that rogues are just walking around, attacking anyone when they see fit? Why? To fill some weird ideology that they have? That doesn’t make me feel good. Especially when you live alone.”
“I’ll be fine, Finn,” she said quietly, though there was a hint of a smile on her face. “I’m fine. Michael and Hann have everything under control. Everything will blow over soon. Hopefully.”
“Hopefully.”
He looked over at her again as he pulled into the driveway of her house. She was still staring at him with the weirdest look on her face. The need to pull her to his chest and kiss her got stronger, and he scrambled out of the car before he did something stupid. The cold night air felt good against his tense skin, and he quickly walked around his car to open the door for Lea before she could for herself. She smiled at him as she hopped out of his truck, and Finn had the need to walk her to her front door.
Like a gentleman would. He wasn’t a gentleman, though. He could pretend for a few seconds.
“Do you want to come in for a drink?” Lea asked him as she unlocked the door. She looked over her shoulder at him, and her front door light lit up her tentative smile.
Finn knew that if he said yes, it would be a bad decision. A horrible decision. Something that he would regret, simply because he wasn’t good enough for her. What she was suggesting was just an innocent, late night talk over coffee or alcohol. Nothing more. She wasn’t sending him any signals about what it could lead to, or what she wanted it to lead to.
But that didn’t mean that Finn wasn’t imagining what it could lead to. If he walked into that house, there was no promising that he wouldn’t make a move. And he was still trying to figure out what her feelings regarding him were. He knew that something had changed between them, but he couldn’t quite figure out that entailed.
“Okay.” He nodded before he could stop himself.
It seemed he had an issue with acting against his brain’s wishes. But when he looked into Lea’s eyes, he didn’t want to do anything else but be with her.
She smiled as she pushed open the door, turning her head back around so that she could turn on the light in her house. Finn found himself on high alert as he walked through the house with her, afraid that a rogue would jump out and surprise them. He couldn’t help the protective way he was with her. His wolf wanted to be let out, wanted to check the whole house and turn it upside down in the search for something that wasn’t right.
Finn knew by walking in the house that there was no one there, though. He definitely would’ve sensed a rogue by now, especially because he was on such high alert.
“You want a beer?” Lea asked as she walked into her kitchen, Finn trailing behind her. Even in those baggy, standard shifter gym clothes, her body made him want more.
Cursing at himself in his head for his lack of control, Finn quickly affirmed that he would indeed like a beer. He would only sip on it, though. If he had a lot of alcohol in him, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to control himself. Hell, he could barely control himself now! And he was as sober as one could get.
“I’m surprised you even have beer,” he replied when he saw the amount she had in her fridge. Lea laughed and handed him one, grabbing one for herself as they both sat down at the little kitchen table she had.
“I have older brothers who are constantly over,” she said, and Finn nodded. He had forgotten that she had a huge family in Maine. He hadn’t met any of them through her, but he thought that he possibly met her brothers at the gym or through Ethan or Lukas.
“Are you and your family close?” Finn wanted to keep her talking. If they stayed on safe subjects like this, maybe his desire to see her undressed would slowly diminish. He took a long sip of his beer, making his desire level notch up a bit.
"Well, my three brothers and I are," she replied, smiling as she thought of her brothers. "My mom and dad… they're great people, they're just different. They're not as… open, shall we say, with some of the things that my brothers and I are open about. That doesn't mean they're horrible people, they just don't understand why Hann or Kato would want to be with a human. Make a human their mate. They've changed a lot since then, though, especially after everything that happened with Kaiser. They realized how horrible that line of thinking can get, and I think they’ve realized that their anger is so misplaced. Because an attack on one of us is an attack on all of us, regardless of the situation or reason. We are a pack, and we always will be.”
Finn thought that she looked beautiful right then, with her blonde hair lighting up in the dark yellow light that the cheap light bulbs emitted. The desire to hold her in his arms hit him full force then, causing him to grip his beer bottle and take a long swig. This wasn’t a good idea. He knew that before he walked through the front door, and he knew that now as he stood across the room from her, watching her every move. The way she batted her eyelashes. The way her lips puckered together slightly as she took a drink of her beer.
Everything set him on edge, but he forced himself to stay in control. He began to mentally tell himself that she was too good for him over and over again, hoping that the thought would push him away from doing anything that he would eventually regret. But he couldn’t stop looking at her. He couldn’t stop wanting her.
“Thanks for everything tonight,” she told him, breaking the little pause they had fallen into. He could tell that she was nervous by the way she had downed that beer in a few minutes. He was still working on his. “Again. That is.”
"You don't need to thank me," he replied, shaking his head. She got up to put her bottle in the trash, and Finn finished his in a few seconds, standing up with her to throw away his. He immediately regretted it when he found himself face to face with Lea, both of them staring at each other, so much emotion and lust going unsaid.
And when Lea took a step closer to him and gently kissed him, he lost all the control he had barely been keeping in.
In an instant, Lea’s back was pressed up against the fridge, with her hands resting on his neck, his arms wrapped around her lower waist and pulling her body close to him as if his life depended on it. Lea deepened the kiss, playing with his hair and driving him crazy.
A little voice at the back of his head told him that he should probably stop. He should probably take a step back and realize that this wouldn’t lead to anything but broken hearts and the blame on him. But something told him that this was right – righter than anything else he had ever done in his life. His veins seemed to boil with desire and need, making him hold onto Lea just a little bit tighter and deepen their kiss just a little bit more. His heart felt like it was a second away failing from beating so fast. Finn felt Lea’s heartbeat against his chest, and he smirked in their kiss when he found that it was beating just as fast and hard as his was.
His brain reminded him what he promised himself he wouldn’t do in that moment. He knew that he couldn’t lead her on like this, even though he desperately wanted her.
“Wait, Lea,” he managed to say after he pulled away from her sweet embrace. “We can’t do this. I can’t do this to you.”
“What do you mean?” she asked him. She looked at him with such desire and lust in her eyes that he almost forgot what he was saying. “Why can’t we?”
Finn sighed. He didn’t know what to say other than the truth, so he decided to just give her his honest answer.
“I’m not good for you,” he told her, shaking his head. “I’m not… I’m not some good guy. You’re too good for me. You’re perfect.”
“I’m not,” she told him, a blush popping up on her cheeks that made her look even more irresistible than she already did. “And so what? I want you. That’s all that matters.”
And when she pulled him to her, planting her lips on his, he forgot all of his concerns about how he wasn’t good enough for her. He wanted her, and maybe it was his selfishness that told him to shut up, or maybe it was her admittance that she wanted him that caused him to pick her up in his arms and carry her to her bedroom upstairs.
After trying a few rooms, to which Lea laughed and told him her bedroom was down the hall, Finn finally found her bedroom and walked inside. The two immediately fell on the bed, both of them laughing.
Finn rolled on top of Lea, hovering over her body as they kissed. Her hands rested on his chest, feeling his abs beneath his shirt and caressing the area where she felt his heartbeat. He knew that she could feel it quicken when she touched him, and he didn’t care. He hoped she could tell how crazy he was about her.
“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he murmured in her ear as he began to kiss her neck. He smiled when he heard her slightly giggle before inhaling quickly as his lips touched her neck.
“I’m glad I’m not the only one,” she replied as she took off his T-shirt, throwing it to the ground where it fell in a heap.
Things were progressing fast between them, but Finn didn’t care. He loved it. He wanted it. His desire and lust for her had grown minute-by-minute since that day they talked in the café. And one look into her bright blue eyes told him that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Her blonde hair was splayed out on the pillow below him, making her look like an angel.
In what seemed like a second, both of them had their clothes off, leaving them naked in front of each other. Hands began roving, even more, discovering each other and touching each other. Finn felt like he was in a dream. He looked at her as if through a haze, and he knew that desire and lust were overtaking his senses. He felt the wolf inside of him seem to act up and howl from that same desire.
And Lea looked like she wanted him just as bad, which turned him on even more
Finn took it slow, wanting to make sure that she was comfortable with everything that they were doing. As he kissed her neck and seemingly every part of her body that he could, she caressed his body with her hands. She began to give him bliss when she found how hard his desire was for her, he moaned out in pleasure like nothing before, and Finn was going crazy just from her touch.
In between his moments of pleasure, he came to understand that this was a woman like no other before. He’d never been with someone like her before.
Finn felt like he was going to lose control right then and there from the pleasure she was giving him, and when she lifted up her legs as he leaned even closer to her, his desire and lust flared up even more. He entered her in one quick movement, both of them gasping from the quick pleasure they gained. And when Finn began a steady pace of thrusts, Lea begged for more, making him harder.
Her constant pleasure noises and encouraging moans echoed his own, making his thrusts pick up speed with each one. He was crazy about her, and as he looked down and saw her eyes shut, her mouth making moans of satisfaction, he knew that he would never be sick of her. She made him crazy, and he wanted to always make her feel this pleased.
When she cried out and released with him still inside of her, he immediately fell on top of her, clutching her to him as he moaned and finished with her. Their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. Their breath, however uneven, was paced in the same way.
They were in sync like never before. And he loved every single second of it.