Chapter Thirteen
Misty jumped on the bed, giggling like a silly schoolgirl. She leaned against the headboard and wrapped her arms around her bent knees, rocking slightly. He kissed me. Bubbles of happiness rose inside her and she closed her eyes, the kiss playing through her mind on repeat. Never mind that he apologized for kissing her and then rushed out; it didn’t take away from the passion and desire that had sizzled between them. If only I hadn’t pulled away. Next time I won’t. And she was more than positive that there’d be a next time.
She looked at the bags on the bed and giggled again. Paco wants me to stay. For the first time in a very long time, she felt wanted. She got up and emptied them, then began to hang up her clothes. Folding her bras and panties, she decided to put them in one of the drawers instead of leaving them in the plastic bag where they’d been since she’d escaped from Bobby.
Bending down, she opened the bottom dresser drawer and moved some of the contents around to make room for her underthings. A large padded envelope came into view. Before pulling it out, she glanced around the room. She knew she shouldn’t look inside, but one small peek wouldn’t hurt anyone. Opening the envelope, she saw letters and photographs.
Maybe these are Paco’s baby pictures. I bet he was cute as hell.
She padded over to the bed, sat on it cross-legged, and dumped out the contents next to her. Picking up a photo, she smiled when she saw a young Paco in a crew cut and Army combat uniform next to a tank. With her fingernail, she stroked the side of his face. He looked so different with short hair. Another photo showed him with his arms wrapped around a cute brunette. She turned the picture over and read the words “Cassie and me.” Most of the pictures were of either Cassie alone or the two of them together.
Misty stared at one of the envelopes addressed to Paco with an Army post office address. Do I dare read his letter? It seemed like an awful invasion of his privacy, but she couldn’t resist. He was such a hard person to read, and he always had his tough exterior on overdrive. She knew Paco the biker, but she wanted to see what lay behind all the leather, muscle, and tattoos.
The letter slid out of the envelope when she turned it upside down. Glancing at the door, she took a deep breath, then looked down and read the letter.
Hey, sexy,
I was so happy when I came home from work and found your letter waiting for me. My mom put it on my dresser, and I tore into it right away. Like you always do, you made me laugh, cry, and ache for you with your words of love and lust. (I loved all the dirty parts. ;))
I wish you were here. I miss you so fucking much. The days are dull without you, but I have work to pass the day. But the nights are awful. I miss your touch, the feel of your skin on mine, your awesome kisses (you ARE the best kisser ever), and the way you make love to me. Just thinking about you makes me wet. I wish you’d come home soon. I miss you too much!
I’m sending a picture of me in a new bikini I bought for the trip the family’s going on next month. I wish you could be with me to walk on the beach, make love in the sand, and hold each other when the sun sets. California won’t be as much fun without you.
Take care of yourself. Write me when you can. I hope you got the box of goodies I sent you. You didn’t mention it in your letter, so maybe it hasn’t gotten there yet.
Sending you a big kiss. I love you so much.
Cassie xxooxx ♥
Misty put the letter back in the envelope. He was in love with her. That’s a surprise. I never would’ve guessed it.
She took out another letter. Again, it was addressed to him at the Army post office.
Hey, honey,
I’ve been thinking about you all the time. It makes me happy that you’re doing the same. I know you told me not to worry, but sometimes I do when I hear news reports or talk to the other women in the group I go to. I just want you home. Now.
I was thinking about the first time we met three years ago at Rick’s party. I’ve never told you this but I loved you from the moment I saw you. I told Cheryl and Lisa that you were the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. So it makes me sooooo happy that you want to spend the rest of your life with me. I know you want to ask me properly when you get back, but just knowing you love me as much as I do you makes me warm and happy, but also sad. I’m sad because I want you here so I can show you how happy I am.
You know something? I sleep with one of your T-shirts every night. I doused your cologne on it right before you left last year and it still has your scent. I pretend it’s you holding me. Just thinking about you now has me all horny. Dammit. I wish we could tear each other’s clothes off and fuck hard and fast.
When are you coming home? I miss you terribly.
Love, love, LOVE YOU,
Cassie♥ xoxoxx
As the sun sank to the horizon, painting the sky in warm hues of copper, coral, and amethyst, Misty raised her arms above her and stretched. She moved her head from side to side, working out some of the kinks from sitting too long reading the letters and looking at the pictures. There were so many birthday cards, notes, funny sayings written on pink paper, and love letters from Cassie to Paco that she was surprised they weren’t married with a bunch of kids.
Maybe they got divorced. Maybe that’s why he’s allergic to involvement.
She picked up another letter, opened it, and read it.
Hey, Paco,
I’m not going to pretend that I’m not upset that your tour of duty in Afghanistan got extended four months. It seems that when I get all excited and hopeful to see you, something comes up to make it not happen.
It’s been so long. It’s hard to be this far apart for this long. I know you explained that you’ve been in combat and it’s hard to call or connect with me as much as I’d like for you to, but it’s not fun having you away. When you first joined, I thought it would be okay but it’s difficult. I don’t know.
Take care of yourself. Mom’s calling me for dinner, so I have to go.
Hugs,
Cassie
She glanced at the door for the umpteenth time, knowing if he caught her going through his personal things, he’d be pissed.
Just one more. I swear. This time I mean it.
Opening the letter, she skimmed it, frowning. Then she read it again.
Dear Paco,
I want to tell you that you’re a wonderful person. You made me believe in myself, and I’ll always remember that. I’m sorry to tell you that I’ve met someone. I didn’t want it to happen, but it just did. We just really clicked. It’s like I’ve known Jeff for years. That’s his name—Jeff. We’re in love, and we’re going to be married. I thought I could wait for you, but it was too hard. In the time you’ve been away, the distance came between us.
I hope this doesn’t sound too callous, but I hope you’ll be happy for me. It is possible to find the one. I did, and the way women always look at you, I know you’ll find someone new in no time.
I guess that’s it. I don’t know what else to say except I hope you’ll understand. I’ll always value you as a friend.
With affection and best wishes always,
Cassie
The white piece of paper fell from Misty’s hands and she blinked rapidly. Poor Paco. While he was fighting for us, she was screwing behind his back. She wrote him a damn Dear John letter. How fucking cold.
She stared at the scattered photographs, the envelopes, and all the silly notecards, the desire to hold him in her arms, his head pressed against her chest, overwhelming her. The past three hours had been emotionally draining.
The doorknob jiggling was like a firecracker under her butt. She leapt up, hurriedly gathering up the letters, cards, and photos and ramming them in the padded envelope. Blood rushed to her head and her temples pulsed as she shoved the envelope in the bottom drawer, straightening up just as he came into the room. He looked around, his gaze fixed on the heap of clothes on the bed.
“I was going to put things away, but I didn’t get too far. I was so tired that I took a break.” Tired from hanging up clothes? He’ll never believe that one.
He threw a box on the desk. “I got you a burner phone.”
“Oh… thanks. That’s cool.” Why is he looking so pissed off at me? Is he still upset over the kiss?
“I’m just gonna get a few things.” He went to the closet and took out a duffel bag.
Please don’t let him take anything from the bottom drawer. The manila envelope wasn’t in the same place as when she’d found it. Not by a long shot. When he bypassed the drawer, she breathed an audible sigh of relief. He narrowed his gaze and stared at her as if he were studying her. She went over to the window.
“I love the colors in the sky at sunset.” No answer. Glancing sideways, she saw he was still staring. Whirling around, she smiled. “Did you go out for a ride?
“Yeah.”
“You look like you did. I mean, you smell like the desert and the wind. Even the sunlight, if that makes any sense. And your hair’s all messy. I like it.”
He picked up his duffel bag and went to the door.
“Are you mad at me? Did I do something to upset you?”
“We gotta talk in the morning. I picked up a frozen pizza for you. It’s in the freezer in the kitchen.” He opened the door.
“Wait! What do you want to talk to me about? Did the guys change their minds about letting me stay here?”
“It’s not that. The brothers will be partying when you go downstairs, but it’s just them tonight, so you don’t have to worry. They all know you’re off-limits.”
“You guys love to party.” She laughed nervously. “Are you going to be there too?”
“I’ll have some drinks and play pool.” He gave her a hard look, and she took it to mean that he had no intention of hanging out with her that night.
“I’ll just make my pizza and watch TV.”
He lifted his chin and walked out, shutting the door behind him. She stared at the closed door for a long time as wild thoughts ran through her brain: he found out about the money she stole, he knew she’d snooped and found his envelope of memories, he really regretted the kiss and now couldn’t stand the sight of her. That night, sleep would evade her.
As she watched the flickering screen, she wondered where the Paco in the photographs and letters had gone. Is he gone forever, or is there a shred of him left deep inside him? And if there was, how could she reach him?
Sighing, she grabbed the remote and changed the channel.