Chapter Ten
Lucy’s room had two double beds, blue iridescent beads hanging down over the large window. Posters of fashion models, baby animals, and Harleys adorned the walls.
“What size are you?” Lucy asked as she stood in front of the closet, pushing the hangers across the clothes rod.
“A six or eight.” Misty pressed her folded arms closer to her chest.
“So how long have you known Paco?” Lucy threw a few tops and some jeans on the bed.
“Not very long. He’s just helping me out.”
“With what?”
“Just some stuff.”
“Where’d you meet?” She turned around and fixed her gaze on Misty.
“In Moab. Do you want me to try these on?”
“Just hold ’em up in front of you. I never saw Paco bring a woman to the club before. You must be a real good friend.”
“I guess.” She picked up a multicolored sweater in varying shades of purple and held it in front of her. “This’ll probably fit okay. I’m not as busty as you are, but it should be good.”
Lucy cocked her head to the side. “Paco loves my tits.”
Her gut twisted. “Is he your boyfriend?”
“We have a special bond. Always have since I first got here.”
Picking up a black pair of leggings and two more tops, Misty stepped toward the door.
“Wait. Paco wanted me to give you a jacket. I can’t believe you don’t have one. Were you running away from someone?” Lucy handed her a black winter jacket with brown faux fur cuffs and hood.
“Thanks. I’ll return all these as soon as I can.” Without waiting for a response, she slipped out the door and headed upstairs to Paco’s room.
When she walked in, Paco wasn’t there and emptiness filled her. After hearing Lucy talk about him, it made her feel even more like an intruder in his life. I have to figure out what I’m going to do. When Paco had asked her if she’d been forced into the life she had, she’d been tempted to tell him everything, but years of beatings, betrayals, and despair made even a sweet old lady who sang in the church choir suspect. It’d been so long since she’d trusted anyone, and when she had, she’d been dragged into a nightmare she couldn’t wake up from. Even though Paco had been kind and caring so far, she didn’t know if he’d turn on her and tell Bobby where she was—or even worse, Victor. She couldn’t take the chance.
Misty locked the door, then grabbed the plastic bag she’d brought. She emptied it out on the bed, and among her toiletries and underwear, thousands of dollars in large bills spread out over the blanket. By now, Bobby would have known she escaped and took his money. If he ever catches me, he’ll torture me before he kills me. She picked up several of the bills and wadded them up in her hand. What am I going to do? Where am I going to go? What about Mom and Kate? She hadn’t called her mom and sister yet for fear that she’d cause more trouble for them if they knew she was still alive. If she didn’t have contact with them, Bobby couldn’t beat anything out of them. But what if he kills them anyway just to spite me? He always told me he’d kill them. That’s how he kept me.
“What the fuck am I going to do?” she whispered under her breath. She could call the cops, but they’d help her for a while and then move on. That’s when Bobby, and especially Victor, would strike. Victor wouldn’t be too happy that he paid for nothing. He’d make it a point to find her. He’s a cold, cruel bastard.
Maybe if I dye my hair and go to Europe. He’d never find me there. But she’d have to get a passport, and that was too risky. Her name was probably in every database in the criminal system. Anyway, she didn’t even have any form of ID; it’d been taken away from her years before.
But I should warn Mom that she and Kate are in danger. Even Peter is in danger. She grimaced when she thought of her stepfather. They hadn’t gotten along very well, especially when she got older and started dating Tyler Tarleton.
Stop! Don’t think about any of that now. You have to do something. Think.
Adrenaline rushed through her veins when she heard Paco’s and another man’s voices outside the door. Scooping up the money, she stuffed it in the bag, then threw her personal stuff on top and shoved it under the bed right when the door opened. She perched on the edge of the bed, inhaling deeply to calm her racing heart.
“Did it work out with Lucy?” he asked.
Brushing away the stray hairs on her face, she looked up and nodded.
“Good. We can go shopping either tomorrow or the day after. It depends on what I have to do.” He picked up the remote and turned on the television, keeping the sound muted.
She stared at him, but he didn’t look her way. I wonder if he only sees me as a pathetic woman in need of help.
“If you have a bit of time, I’d like to pick up some personal things. I left in a hurry and didn’t take everything I needed.”
Without looking at her, he turned off the television and stood up. “Let’s go.” Taking the keys from the dresser, he walked out of the room.
“Wait up. I have to go to the bathroom.”
“I’ll meet you downstairs.” His voice echoed in the hall as he disappeared down the stairs.
Throwing off her T-shirt, she picked up the cute lavender sweater Lucy had loaned her and slipped it on, then went into the bathroom and swept up her hair in a low messy bun, pulling out small strands of hair to fall around her neck. A swipe of glittering mauve gloss and a final look in the mirror and she was ready to join him. You’re being silly. Maybe it was the giddiness of freedom that made her want to act like a normal woman who didn’t have years of baggage in her past. She wasn’t really sure what she wanted from Paco, but all she knew was she felt safe and protected with him.
When she entered the main room, Lucy stood close to Paco with her hand on his forearm and her mouth close to his ear. For a split second, a flash of anger tore through her. “Oh,” she gasped under her breath, surprised at her reaction. The only thing she’d ever been jealous of was other people’s freedom. Her day-to-day existence didn’t allow for any emotions other than fear, shame, and anguish; anything else was a luxury she’d been rarely afforded.
Paco glanced at her and smiled, and it warmed her all over. In his black T-shirt that fit like a second skin and his tight jeans, he was all kinds of sexy. She’d noticed his tattoos before, but in the afternoon sun, they appeared more dangerous, fierce, and they enthralled her.
Pulling away from Lucy, he motioned to Misty. “Let’s go.” His silver earrings swayed with his movements, and she thought he must be the most perfect-looking man she’d ever seen. She dashed toward him, ignoring the stares from the other women, and went out into the brightness.
“Do you always ride your motorcycle?” she asked, walking toward it.
“Mostly. You gonna get a lot of shit, ’cause if you are, then we better take the truck.”
“I thought we were going to go for clothes another day.”
“Me too, but since we’re going out, you might as well get everything you need.”
“I didn’t bring enough money. I’ll have to go up and get some more.” She turned around, but his strong arm held her back.
“I thought you said you didn’t have any money.” His brow wrinkled.
Blood rushed to her head. Dammit. I fucked up. “I meant I don’t have a lot of money. I was able to take a few bucks.”
“Don’t bullshit me, sweetheart. A few bucks isn’t gonna buy you squat.” He laughed. “You think I want your money? I don’t. What I want is for you to quit lying to me.”
Chewing on a thumbnail, she gave a half shrug. “I’m not in the habit of sharing stuff with people. I do have some money I took when I left.”
“First off, I’m not ‘people,’ and secondly, this lying shit stops now.” He leaned back on the heels of his boots as his eyes tracked up her body. “Stealing from your pimp took guts. I like that.”
“I have to go back up and get some more money for the clothes.”
“No worries. I’ll cover it. I told you I would.”
“That was before you knew I had any money. I’m not into handouts.” I still have some fuckin’ pride left, even though Bobby tried to beat it out of me.
“I know that. You can pay me back later.”
He opened the door for her and she slipped past him, the scent of black pepper, myrrh, and leather warming her senses like hot tea infused with spices. The aroma sent a current of electricity through her entire being, and she gripped his arm to steady herself as she settled on the passenger seat.
“You okay?” His deep voice made her tingle.
“Yeah.” You’re acting real dumb. This gig is only temporary. You need to focus on what you’re going to do, not on him. Besides, men just want to hurt you. And she believed that wholeheartedly because the past had proven it to be true. Given any power, men will cause great suffering.
But Paco confused her. He was nice, caring, and the way he looked at her told her that he was attracted to her, yet he kept his distance. He hadn’t forced her to do anything. Part of her wanted to believe he was different from Erik, Bobby, and all the men she’d serviced over the past eight years, but old thoughts and fears were hard to rewire.
“You good with going to Walmart? There’s one about thirty miles from here.”
“I love that store.”
He switched on the radio and they drove in silence until he turned into the store’s lot. She jumped out of the truck, secured a cart someone had haphazardly left in the middle of a parking space, and they went into the store.
For the next two hours, she tried on clothes, looked at makeup, sprayed on a variety of scents, and picked up some Cheetos, Hershey’s Kisses, and peanut butter. Those were the items Bobby never let her have. He’d told her it was because she had to keep her body at a certain weight, but that wasn’t it. The reason he wouldn’t let her have them was out of sheer meanness. One night when she’d been rented out to a party, he’d torn through all her things, looking under the mattress, the bed, and every corner in her room, and he’d come across her journal. That night, he’d beaten her with a chain, and she was still surprised she’d survived it. In her journal she’d written her thoughts about him, Erik, her life, what had happened, and about her favorite snacks she missed the most: Cheetos, Hershey’s Kisses, and peanut butter.
“Do you like this?” Paco picked up a bottle of eau de parfum.
“I do.”
“I saw you kept sniffing your arm where you put it on.”
She raised her arm. “Do you like it?”
He bent down and breathed in, then looked up at her. “That’s you,” he said hoarsely.
For a moment, she was mesmerized by his mahogany eyes that stared so intently into her own. The overhead intercom, the generic music playing throughout the store, and the customers’ voices faded into the background as they stood in the perfume aisle, transfixed by one another.
“Did you want me to get you anything?” the saleslady asked.
Slowly dragging his gaze away from hers, he pointed to a clear crystal bottle filled with a light amber liquid. A big pink bow was wrapped around its neck. “That one.”
“Good choice. It’s Juicy Couture’s best seller.” She unlocked the glass container.
The price tag read forty-two dollars. “That’s too expensive,” she whispered to Paco. The saleslady frowned, the cellophane-wrapped box clutched in her hand.
“It’s fine. I’ll take it.”
While Paco paid for it, she watched him, incredulous that he’d spent so much on her. No one had ever bought her something so nice, at least not since she’d been taken away from her home. She sniffed her arm again, the sweet scents of caramel, pralines, and honeysuckle filling her nostrils. Of all the perfumes and sprays she’d tried on, this one was her favorite, but she didn’t dare hope to get it. And when Paco said it was her, a rush of surprise tingled through her.
When he handed her the bag, it was like he’d given her the world—and in a way he had. He was the first person to show any semblance of kindness since her whole ordeal had started.
As they waited in the checkout lane, guilt about not trusting him crept in. “Thank you for the perfume,” she said softly. He lifted his chin and stroked the back of her neck with his fingers. As he paid for her purchases, she went over to the bulletin board of missing children. Again, she saw her smiling face from her sophomore school pictures, but that flyer had a computerized image of how she’d look now, and it was incredibly spot-on. A gripping feeling of fear and helplessness took hold, and her hands tingled while her heart pounded. She raised her hand to rip it off the board.
“What’re you looking at?”
That’s right. Bobby isn’t around. I’m okay. She clutched her throat as she breathed in deeply.
“What’s going on with you? Are you sick?” Concern laced his voice.
“No. I guess it was breathing in all those perfumes. I just got light-headed. I’m good.”
“Why’re you looking at these flyers?”
She pushed the cart, moving away from the board. “I don’t know. I guess I think I may know someone up there and maybe help or save them.”
“I never paid attention to these pictures.” He stared at it and her stomach churned.
Grabbing his arm, she tugged him away. “I need to get to the car to sit down.”
“Sorry. Let’s go.”
They walked out of the store, and she sat in the truck while he loaded the bags in the back. When he got in, he tossed her the bag of Cheetos.
She laughed. “You read my mind.” Tearing them open, her mouth watered as she saw the crispy sticks. The first one she popped in her mouth was cheese heaven. Paco laughed and she glanced at him. “What?”
“It’s just cute the way you’re enjoying those. It’s like you’ve never had them.”
“That’s almost true.” She crunched down on another. “It’s been a long time. You want some?” She pushed the bag toward him.
Shaking his head, he pushed it back. “I don’t eat that stuff.”
“You don’t know what you’re missing.”
When they got back to the club, the guys and girls kept staring at them as they walked through the main room, each of them loaded down with plastic bags. After putting the bags on the bed, Paco took off his jacket and hung it in the closet, then slipped on a leather vest.
“I can give Lucy back the clothes you borrowed. I didn’t know we were going to go shopping.”
“I can give them back to her.” For some reason, the thought of him in Lucy’s bedroom bothered her.
“It’s no big deal.” He sat in the recliner and watched as she hung up all her new purchases.
“What’re your plans for tonight?” she asked.
“Nothing much. We usually party big on Saturday nights.”
“That sounds fun.”
“Not for you. We have brothers coming in from other clubs, so it could be a problem for you. They may think you’re a club woman or a hang-around. It’s better if you stay in here for the night. I can bring dinner up to you.”
“You’re going to the party?” She wasn’t sure she liked the idea of him being with the club girls and whoever the hang-arounds were.
“For a bit. I’ll play some pool and have a few drinks. It’s always a good time to see brothers I haven’t seen in a while.”
“Oh. I thought we could watch a movie and order a pizza. I haven’t had pizza in forever.”
He chuckled. “Are you on a mission to eat all the junk food you can in one day?”
“Pretty much.” She folded the empty shopping bags. “So are you game for it?”
For a moment, he studied her intently, a gleam of desire in his eyes, but then he looked away. “I’ve already got plans, but I can pick up a pizza for you and you can order a movie on TV.” He stood up. “What do you want on it?”
She cast her gaze downward. “That’s okay. I changed my mind.”
“Maybe another time,” he said in a low voice.
“Maybe,” she muttered.
The touch of his hand under her chin, tilting her head back, sent a warming shiver through her. She met his gaze and her heart turned over. The tip of his thumb swept over her bottom lip, sending her emotions whirling and skidding. Instinctively, she reached for him, but he stepped back.
“If you need anything, call me.” He pointed to the cordless phone on the nightstand. “I wrote out my number and left it there earlier.”
And then he was gone.
The scent of his cologne lingered in the room. His footsteps faded away, and loneliness pressed down on her like a steel weight. Her thoughts, jagged and painful, were her only companions. For a moment, she’d thought he was going to kiss her, but he walked away. He probably doesn’t want me because he knows what I am. A lot lizard. A whore. But not by choice. Never by choice.
The windows rattled and a loud rumble filtered through them. Going to the window, she looked down and saw motorcycles galore filling the parking lot. It was an incredible sight: a sea of black leather and denim, the fading sunlight bouncing off the motorcycles’ chrome, women in short skirts and stilettos cozying up to the men. In the midst of all that, she saw Paco, a beer in his hand, talking to one of the brothers. She searched the crowd for Lucy and found her wrapped around a tall, skinny man with a bushy beard. The lines in Misty’s forehead relaxed.
As if sensing her, Paco glanced up. She held her breath as their gazes locked in an embrace. Then a big guy smacked Paco on the back and he turned away from her, the big guy drawing him into a bear hug. The moment had flitted away, and she was left again with her tortured thoughts. That day, she’d enjoyed pockets of time when she’d felt whole again, but then they blew away, replaced by the reality of who she was.
I’m broken, and I don’t know how to fix me.
Misty wrapped the blanket around her and lay down, hugging the pillow close. It would be a long night. She could call Paco and tell him she was afraid, but she wouldn’t. She had to face the demons and who she was on her own.
She owed it to herself.