Chapter Twelve

Hailey

“It’s so itchy,” I whine to Crystal two days after the whole ordeal.

I had no idea I was even bleeding when I walked into the clinic. The only thing on my mind was getting Mila help and having her stop crying.

When I finally left her, I went into another room. Sitting down, I look down at my now dirty black feet, the blood dripping from my left foot. “Idiot,” Crystal says as she walks in. “Put your feet up.” I did as she told me, and I hiss from the burning as she cleans them. “You’re going to need a shot and stitches for sure,” she says as she assesses the bottom of my foot. Gabe walks in.

“There she is, wonder woman.” He smiles as Crystal glares at him. “Hey.” He raises his arms in surrender. “I’m not the bad guy.”

“Whatever,” she says as she gathers the supplies to start the stitches.

“How is Mila?” I ask him as Crystal prepares to give me a shot to numb it. “Motherfucker, that hurts.”

“She’s fine. Listen, about my cousin,” he starts to say, but I raise my hand to stop him.

“Don’t even bother.” That’s all I say because then I start to hiss under my breath as Crystal works on my foot. Gabe walks back out of the room.

She bandages me up and says, “I’m going to get you some crutches for home because you shouldn’t put any pressure on it. Emma, the other nurse, will come in. I have to get Mila in for her X-rays,” she says as she walks out.

“Great,” I say as the throbbing in my foot starts. Emma comes in with the crutches, and as I grab them from her, I ask, “Will you be able to call me a taxi?”

“Jessica will drive you.” I hear from the side of the room and look to find Heidi. “Are you okay?” she asks as she blinks away tears.

“I’m fine. It was just a little cut.” I try not to make it bigger than it was.

“A cut that needed ten stitches,” Emma added. “But who’s counting? Excuse me.” She walks out.

“Is Mila okay?” I ask her and then look down. “I know it’s not my place but …”

“It is your place. You put that little girl before your own safety. Thank you.”

“It was nothing, but I did promise her ice cream, so if you could get her some, that would be great,” I say as I walk past her on my crutches. “Good thing I work from home, right?” I smile and walk into the waiting room where the woman Jessica is waiting for me.

“Jessica, I’m assuming?” I take in her disheveled hair, her eyes still wet with tears as she wrings a tissue in her hand. She walks up to me and grabs me in a hug so forcefully, I almost fall back. “Thank you,” she whispers. I just smile at her. “Let’s get you home.”

She drops me off at home where I plop down on the couch and don’t move.

Now, two days later, I’m ready to rip the bandage off. “I think I’m suffering from cabin fever,” I tell Crystal as she walks around the kitchen, packing her lunch and grabbing her things for work.

“Just eight more days,” Crystal sings as she kisses my head and walks out. I flip her the bird as I get up and make my way to the back. I sit in the swing as I watch the ocean and do my work. I’m about to make myself something to eat when I hear a knock on the door.

I get up, grabbing my crutches, and walk to my front door as the knocking continues. “Coming,” I shout. When I get to the door and open it, I see Heidi, Delores, and Mila.

“Hailey,” Mila yells happily as she bounces in. “We brought you presents,” she says happily.

“You did?” I drop the crutches as I get on my knee to give her a hug. “How is my Princess Mila?” I say as I take in her pink cast. “Does it hurt?” She shakes her head while I try to get up and hop on one foot to the table. “Sorry, guys, I’m a klutz with those two metal sticks.”

Delores walks in with her arms filled with bags while Heidi picks up the crutches and carries in a vase filled with tulips.

Mila waits by my side. Grabbing my hand, she looks up at me and smiles. And at that moment, I know I would do anything for this little girl. Her heart is pure even though her father is an asshole. “Let’s go see what all the fuss is about.” I smile at her. She nods and patiently holds my hand while I hop to the kitchen. She hops with me, thinking it’s a fun joke. Her giggles fill the house, making my heart happy. I pull out a chair and plop down in it. Closing my laptop, I put it aside while Mila pulls out the chair next to me.

Delores comes over with a bag. “We thought this might help the recovery time.” She hands me the bag. Mila gets on her knees on her chair and claps her hands together in excitement.

I look over at her. “Do you want to help me open this?” Her face lights up even more as she nods her head, so I push away from the table to give her space to climb into my lap. She grabs the bag and pulls out a box. “What do we have here?” I ask her as she takes in the box in her hand.

“It’s chocolate,” she says as I look down. “We can share it.” She tilts her head and smiles up at me.

I tap her nose with my finger. “You would share my chocolate with me?” I ask, and she nods her head. “You are a great helper. What else is in there?”

She takes out what looks like a spa basket. “Soap.” She just shrugs while I inspected the loofah, bubble bath, bath salts, and a couple of bath bombs.

“That is for after the stitches come out for you to sit and enjoy,” Delores says when I finally look up and see Heidi in the kitchen making coffee for us.

“I will use this as soon as I can,” I tell them while Mila pulls out magazines from the bag. “Oh, my favorite.” I grab the Cosmopolitan and flip through it.

“That’s all; all gone,” Mila says as she pushes the bag to the side. “Now my turn.” She claps her hand as Heidi brings over the small bag. “I buy all this for you,” Mila says as she hands me the bag, and my hand goes to my chest.

“All for me?” I ask her as I open it and take out her gifts to me one at a time. “Crayons, coloring books, a puzzle, oh, and what is this?” I ask as I admire a picture that looks like she drew.

“It’s me and you on the beach.” She points out her and me—my body bigger than anything else with two stick legs. “When you are all better, we can go look for seashells.”

With the picture in my hand, I focus on the two of us, and the dreaded feeling I’ve lived with for so long is now dull. I don’t know when it happened, but at that moment, my heart doesn’t hurt. Not even when I think about when Eric and I walked down the beach, picking up our own seashells. “Do you want to?” she asks. I look up at Delores and Heidi, who have both stopped and are staring at me.

“Whenever you want to go, you tell me, and I’ll bring a bucket where we can put them all inside.” I smile through the tears that threaten to fall. “Thank you so much, guys, for all the presents, but you didn’t have to.”

Delores pats my hand as she shakes her head. “There isn’t anything in the world that could thank you for what you did.” I nod, unable to say anything over the big lump in my throat, so I listen to Mila tell us a story about how she wants to be a mermaid.

They spend the rest of the hour with me. Heidi makes coffee, and I try to get up and serve them but am told to sit. So I take out the coloring book and color with Mila and discuss how the weather is changing and my plans for the weekend, which consists of ordering stuff for my office. They both ask if they can come with me, and even Mila says she wants to come, so we plan the shopping trip for Saturday. I hobble to the door to say goodbye to them and watch them drive off. Going back inside, I take my computer out back, where I sit on the swing and continue to work. But my mind is all over the place. The calmness of this place makes me think back to all my memories of Eric.

How come I didn’t see all the signs he had another life? I close the laptop, knowing I’m not going to get anymore work done today. I sit there with my leg propped up on the swing as the past year of my life replays in my mind.

“I just got a call,” he would say as he came downstairs with his bag already packed, “but I should be back in a couple of days.”

I never questioned anything. The calls he would make would never be at night, only during the day.

“I’m going to call you tomorrow. I will probably work through the night to make sure I finish earlier.” I shake my head, thinking I was such an idiot

He only FaceTimed from his rental car, but was it even a rental? I try to think back to remember if the seats were the same color. “The hotels have the worse Wi-Fi connections.”

How did I never suspect anything? How he couldn’t keep his hands off me, attacking me the minute he came into the house. “I can’t get enough of you.”

The times we lay in bed late at night, both of us on our stomachs as we discussed our dreams. His dream to finally have a job where he didn’t have to travel and to see me pregnant. My dream to finally be a mother to however many babies God wanted to give us.

“A penny for your thoughts.” I hear from behind me. I turn around and see Crystal looking at me. “You look a million miles away.”

I shake my head as I rub away a tear I didn’t know was running down my cheek. “Just thinking,” I tell her. She comes over to the swing, picks up my feet, and then sets them on her lap when she sits down. We swing and watch the waves crash into the sand. “You know if you think about it,” I start, my eyes never leaving the water, “the signs were all there that something was going on.” I laugh. “All there … I was just too blind to see.”

“If you were blind, then I guess we all were. None of us suspected anything.”

“But you guys didn’t live with him.” I inhale. “I was such a fool.”

“No, you weren’t.” She tries to convince me I wasn’t, but anger now replaces the pain I’ve felt for the past month.

“I hate him,” I say, my eyes watching the buoy in the distance as it sways from side to side. “Like with my whole heart. For as much love as I had for him, I have just as much hatred.” A tear slips down my face as I finally realize I will never have the answers I seek because I will never get a chance to confront him. I will never get that closure, and I will have to find that within myself. He may have left me with questions I have to look for in myself. Answers I have to come up with on my own.

“Hailey, you trusted him. You did what anyone else would have done.” She rubs my legs as I stretch my arm out and lay my head down on it. “I went to see her,” she whispers out as I look at her. “I didn’t want to tell you … I just.” She takes a deep breath and looks over. “We went down and saw her.”

“We?” I ask her, confused.

“Well, Blake wasn’t going to let me go by myself, just in case I did something harsh.” She shrugs, and I know exactly why Blake would go with her. “I just wanted to know, in case you had questions later. She …” I sit looking at her and taking her in, my protector. Tears run down Crystal’s face now. “She is so different from you. She isn’t strong like you are. He’s all she has ever known, and she had no idea. She didn’t suspect for one minute he would do that to her, to his family. He always traveled for work, so it wasn’t like a red flag or anything. The only thing that changed is that the FaceTimes got less and less at the end.”

“They have kids,” I say, and she nods her head.

“Yes, and every single day, she has to look into the eyes of her children and see the good in them or else she is going to go insane.” She wipes tears from her own cheeks now. “That is what she has to live with. I wanted to hate her, to blame her for what he did to you, to us, but she had fewer answers than you did.”

“I can’t even imagine. I hated her,” I start to say. “I hated that she had that with him. That she had him forever. That their love would go on forever in their children.”

Crystal laughs sarcastically. “It was a lie. As much as you think your life was a lie, so was hers.” I nod, and neither of us say anything as we watch the water go from dark blue to black as the sun sets and nighttime blankets the sky.