Chapter Fourteen

Hailey

“I’m doing good,” I tell my brother as I walk around the kitchen with the phone pressed between my ear and shoulder, preparing myself some toast and coffee.

“Bullshit,” he counters.

“Okay fine, I’m doing better,” I say as I grab the homemade jam that Delores brought me last week. For the past two weeks, it was always a surprise and pleasure when my doorbell rang. They would come with little treats, but the best was when Mila came with them because she took over the show. She is without a doubt the coolest kid I have every met. They’ve never brought up her mother, though, and I was not going to pry.

“Why didn’t you come home this weekend?” he asks me as I hear paper rustle in the background.

“And leave my oasis? Not for all the chocolate in the world,” I say, laughing, and then I hear the siren go off in the background.

“I gotta go; talk to you later,” he says, disconnecting. I put the toast on a plate and grab my cup of coffee, then make my way down to the beach with the blanket draped around my neck. I place my cup on my plate as one hand whips the cover over so I can sit on it. The clouds cover the sun as the waves crash onto the shore, the white bubbles dissipating into the sand.

My mind goes back to last night when Norma came to the table. Her snide comment made me feeel like the other woman again. Except for this time, I knew I was the other woman. The way that woman looked at me and judged me made my heart sink, and I knew I had to get out of there.

I place the cup and plate on the beach next to me. I hug my knees to my chest, watching birds fly through the sky, soaring high as they circle above. While enjoying the tranquility of the waves, I suddenly hear barking and giggling, causing me to look to my right. I see Mila throwing a stick, and Flounder chasing after it. Jensen walks slowly behind them carrying a cup of coffee.

“Hailey,” I hear her yell as she waves her hand side to side. Her blond curls bounce as she runs over to me and her smile lights up her whole face. “Hailey,” she says breathlessly when she gets to my feet. “Whatcha doing?” she asks as she stands in front of me.

“I’m just watching the water,” I tell her with a smile. “What are you doing running around so early?” I ask her as Flounder comes over to me and plops down next to us, panting.

“Sorry about that.” I hear Jensen’s voice and look past Hailey to see that he followed her. “We didn’t mean to interrupt your quiet.” He takes a sip of his coffee.

“No worries. It was too quiet anyway,” I tell him, looking back at Hailey. “What are your plans for today?”

“I have to go to Grandma Norma’s.” Turning to look at her father, she says, “I don’t feel good.”

“All right, so I guess we should get you into bed and take the iPad and television away so you can rest and get better,” Jensen tells her, and she rolls her eyes at him.

“Fine.” She huffs out, sitting down on the blanket next to me. “I feel okay. You have snacks?” She turns and looks at me, knowing full well I have her favorite snack in the house. Her question makes me throw my head back and laugh while Jensen calls her name.

“It’s fine,” I say, getting up and grabbing my cup and plate. “I know better than not to stock her favorites.” I look back at Mila. “Would you like to come and choose?” She gets up right away and puts her hand in mine. I see Jensen’s body go tight, his eyes focused on our hands.

“We don’t have time,” he blurts out harshly. “Mila, say goodbye.”

“But Poppa,” she whines, and he gives her the look that I guess means he isn’t playing.

“Go on ahead; I’ve got to talk to Hailey,” he says as she walks away with Flounder next to her. As soon as she is far enough away, he turns around and looks at me. “I don’t know what game you’re playing.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “What game I’m playing?”

“All the shit with the favorite bowl to her favorite snacks,” he says whispering, but his tone is anything but nice.

“You mean me being a nice person?” I glare at him. “I’m not going to apologize for liking your daughter.”

“She doesn’t need a mother.” His words cut like a knife through my heart.

“That isn’t …” I whisper, my hands now falling to my side. “That isn’t what I’m doing.”

“Well, I’m not going to stand by while she falls in love with you and then watch you walk away from her,” he says, then turns and walks away, leaving me with my heart on my hand. Mila turns back around and waves bye to me. I wave back at her as his words sink into me.

I spend the rest of the day cleaning the house and setting up my office. His words linger in the back of my mind, and every single time I stop, it’s the only thing I hear.

I sit on the swing, looking out at the water with a glass of wine as the sun falls into the horizon and the water turns black. One glass turns into two, which turns into three. Picking up the bottle and the glass, I walk down to the beach. I’ve never sat outside on the beach at night. I walk closer to the shore this time and sit down on the damp sand, crossing my legs as I pour another glass of wine. I look back at the house, thinking I should have left a light on.

Memories of our honeymoon flood my thoughts. The walks on the beach, just the two of us, our fingers intertwined with each other. How he’d pick up our hands and kiss my fingers. Stopping just to kiss me. “I get to kiss you whenever I want,” he used to say.

“Fuck you, Eric,” I say as a tear rolls off my chin. I try to pour another glass of wine, but it’s empty.

“Why are you everywhere?” I hear from beside me, looking up to see Jensen.

“What do you want?” I ask him, turning back to look at the water. “Just keep walking and the stick up your ass might get lodged up.” I mentally high five myself.

“Are you drunk?” he asks, his hands going to his hips. “Jesus, all I wanted was a nice walk on the beach.”

“Then keep fucking walking.” I motion with my hand down the beach. “No one is telling you to stop.”

“I …” he starts and then stutters, “I’m sorry about before.”

I bring my feet up to my chest. “For being a world-class asshole?” I ask him as I close my eyes and try to get the sand to stop spinning. “Which time? Because I have to say”—I laugh—“every single time I’ve seen you, you’ve been an asshole.”

“Not every time,” he says. And I make the mistake of looking at him. His gray sweater fits him like a glove, proving he doesn’t have an ounce of fat on him, and his blue jeans hang on his hips down to his brown boots. He is so handsome ... so, so handsome.

“Go away,” I say as I look back at the water, the roaring of the waves coming closer.

“It’s going to be high tide soon,” he tells me as he sits next to me. Bending his legs, he places his arms on his knees. “Mila’s mother left her,” he says softly. I turn to look at him as he turns to face me. The darkness of his eyes unreadable. “Took off and walked away without a second glance.”

“My husband had two point five kids with another woman.” I place my head on top of my knees as wetness soaks my jeans. “Except he didn’t tell me about her.”

“She left us for my best friend,” he tries to counter.

“He died, leaving me alone with nothing. Nothing,” I say. “His parents sent me a cease and desist letter two days before his funeral.” I wipe my eyes. “I never said goodbye to him.”

“She signed away her rights to Mila without a second thought and now has twin girls.”

“She’s a bitch,” I say, and I’m not even sorry about it.

“Yeah, well, your husband isn’t far off that.” He looks out at the water. “I built the house for us,” he starts saying, his eyes never leaving the water. “It was her surprise birthday present.” I look back at the house now, hating what it stood for. “We were living in it for eight months, and it didn’t come close to feeling like a home.”

“It’s a beautiful home,” I tell him, and he nods. “One day, she is going to regret it.”

He shakes his head. “That’s what I said, but then today when I walked Mila into Norma’s house, there on the mantle was a picture of her with her twins.” His voice trails off. “How could she love them and not our little girl?”

My hand reaches out to touch his arm. “She is the best little girl ever.” He looks over at me.

“She is. She really is,” I tell him as tears fall for the little girl who has captured my heart. “Luckily for Mila, she has you, and she has Heidi and Delores, and she is surrounded by love.” He nods his head and returns his gaze to the water. We sit in silence as both of us fight the storm within.

He gets up, brushing his pants off. “I can see how he fell in love with you so easily.” His voice soft, he says, “Good night, Hailey.” He walks away, never once looking back as his body disappears into the darkness. I pick up my bottle and glass and walk to the house that holds so many bad memories for him but has saved me.

The house creaks as I settle into bed, tossing and turning, and the ticking of the clock on the wall echoes in the room. I try to shut off my brain, try counting sheep, try focusing on my breathing, but nothing works tonight. Instead, all the memories of what could have been fester.

What if I had gotten pregnant? What if I was having his baby? What if I had found out before he died? What if Mila’s mother never left?

My eyes get heavy when the soft light flickers into the room. My dreams are of the peaceful water crashing into the shore as two people try to find the answers.