I was so damn nervous.

Was this how a virgin felt on her wedding day, waiting for something to happen, but not knowing what?

Regi stood in the hallway rocking back on his bare heels. His fingers were hooked through the belt loops of his jeans. That stupid awkwardness which existed between us in fits and phases returned with a vengeance. I knew a lot of it had to do with me. I'd never been in a relationship. Dating had been on a permanent ban. Now that we were alone, a huge question yawned between us.

What was I going to do with the man who loved me?

Regi approached me as if I were a skittish animal. I felt like it. My hands shook. I linked my fingers together to stop them from twitching and revealing the state of my thoughts.

"This has been a hell of a day, and it's only just begun," Regi said. His eyes held peace in the deep umber of their depths. I was sure, if he hadn’t been here, guiding me through how to help Licia, I would have fallen apart. Dealing with emergencies was not a strength of mine.

I looked up at him. "That was a terrible end to our first date. We didn’t even get to do what I wanted.”

Regi's grin grew cheeky. His eyes snapped with a playful spark as they skated down my body, taking a leisurely stroll. On the way back up he made sure to favor my breasts with a lingering look.

Damn, I liked that.

My nipples stiffened, turning into hard crests pebbling my shirt. "What is that, Mia?"

I laughed. "Is that all you think about is sex?"

"No, when I'm with you watching the light hit your hair, I think how much you look like an angel."

"An angel?” I ignored the delighted tingle in my chest. His smooth words were already doing a number on me. “Aren’t angels supposed to be blond-haired and blue-eyed?"

"Yes, but you’re a fallen angel. Aren't you?" His voice turned into a smoky baritone, and I quivered. There was no way a woman could not melt when a guy paid you a huge compliment in a voice which sounded like sex.

This wasn’t the first time he’d called me an angel. Faith wasn't a big part of Regi's life since he was so focused on the sciences, but in some ways, he worshiped me as if I was his very own goddess. It could be quite heady and intense.

I flicked my lashes, as coy as a coquette at the Moulin Rouge. "The things I like would definitely make sure I was fallen."

The small slice of distance between us disappeared. Reg stroked my cheek, and then he walked his fingers into my hair until his palm pressed heavily on my neck, and the fingertips brushed my nape. "I stole the first kiss last night, and later earned my second but didn’t receive it. How many have I earned since?"

Desire rushed through my veins. How could he turn me on with such a simple question? Kisses, well, kisses that weren’t his, had never really driven me wild. And yet here we were, just talking about the possibility, and my thighs were quaking.

He always had that ability over me. He was a damn voodoo doctor when it came to my libido. I wiggled closer until our bodies touched, and my chest was all but flattened against his. I'd been amply endowed since puberty, and Regi had always enjoyed my buxom curves.

His muscle-wrought arm wound around my waist and pulled me off my feet. "Is it wrong that I want to fuck you right now?”

"Why would it be wrong?"

"Because we just sent two girls, who had a traumatic night, back out and into the world. They’ve been wrecked by darkness, and if I were a gentleman, I would let you rest and sleep off the effect of the day."

The hand at my nape slid into my hair, and he yanked my head back. Pleasure carved a trench down my spine and bolted between my thighs. My hair was such a trigger, and my pussy throbbed to painful life.

“But you know, I'm no gentlemen."

His mouth punctuated his declaration with a hard slash over mine. I moaned into the ravenous pressure as his tongue demanded my lips open. I gave him everything he wanted, curling my tongue around the thick width of his. Regi had a tongue that was made to tongue-fuck a pussy. He’d made me scream countless times with it, and I was dying to sit on his face, among other parts of his anatomy.

I'd been desperate for this kiss for what felt like forever. The one he'd stolen in the parking lot at the restaurant had been too brief. But this was a real one, a lingering torment as he learned how to joust with my tongue again.

There was no resistance left in me. I'd forgiven Licia, I'd forgiven Regi, and now we had a clean slate. My arms wound around his massive shoulders. I admired how much bigger he was. My fingers teased the subtle stubble at the back of his neck. He’d had curly hair when we were younger, and wore it long enough to scrape his collar. Since he'd moved back to Wisconsin from Penn State, he kept it buzzed short. In some ways, I missed those curls, but I enjoyed his new rugged appearance. He looked like a man now, not a boy caught in that between state.

Regi hadn't shaved this morning, and the nettles of his scruff stung my skin. I enjoyed the slight burn and wiggled closer so that there were no secrets except clothing between us. The iron-hard length of his cock scorched my hip, and in return for teasing me with his hardon, I straddled his thigh and rubbed my burning hot cunt over the muscle.

"God, I missed you, Mia," Regi growled into my mouth.

His meaty hands spanned my waist, and he hauled me up and into his arms. What was a girl to do? Struggle?

Hell no. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and let him carry me wherever he wanted like a fucking caveman.

I hadn’t let anyone, except Licia and now Angela, sleep over at my apartment, mostly because I didn't like strangers in my space and messing up my routine. It was hard enough getting rid of a clinger who thought sex meant love and marriage.

I might have been the Queen of one night stands, but they were usually at the guy’s apartment so I could steal away before they woke up.

This was an intimacy I never expected, yet there was no argument inside me as Regi walked me through the apartment and into the bedroom.

I'd given Angela an extra blanket from the closet and had made the bed while Jo prepared their exit.

Regi laid me gently onto the smooth comforter. I hooked my knees up, braced my feet flat on the mattress, and looked up at him.

He drank me in like a thirsty man finding an oasis in the desert. I had a healthy self-confidence, and though I knew I was thicker in some places than what was fashionable, I never had a problem with my curves.

I sat up and swiftly removed the slinky shirt I’d fallen asleep in last night.

Regi uttered a husky sound in the back of his throat. "For a long time, God this past year, I never thought I would see you like this again.”

"I don't know what the future holds for us. But, I can honestly say that you are the only guy who has shown absolute loyalty to me. Guys have always disappointed me, so I never gave them the chance,” I whispered my confession.

Regi’s throat bobbed. “I never want to hurt you again."

"Again? What do you mean, again?"

"The look in your eyes, when you saw me with Licia at the Alehouse, it destroyed me. It devastated me. You are one of the strongest people I've ever known, and you looked like you were going to cry. I realized that this dance we were doing, it needed to stop before we hurt each other further." Regi knelt on the bed, his large body angled over mine. His hands circled my knees and urged them apart.

I spread my thighs and let him in. "I know it wasn't your fault. I know that Licia tricked you in some ways. We both had an epiphany that night. What we were doing, what I was doing, wasn’t healthy. I was playing you, you were trying to come back to me. We just kept pushing and pulling and hurting each other. I did cry that night, but I also realized what I've done to you. That if you never met me, you would probably be married with a baby on the way. Maybe you would be in love with someone else, engaged or part of a loving relationship that men like you deserve. But I destroyed that for you."

The heaviness of the conversation settled over us like a wet blanket draped on a campfire. It almost smothered the flames between us, but it shattered the awkwardness.

I'd never shared this much of myself with anyone before. And now I was exposing myself to Regi, and hoping that he would love me, scars and all.

Regi's fingers hooked in the waist of my leggings and pulled them down. I lifted my hips, allowing him easier access to what he wanted. Sex between us was always an extension of our emotions. It revealed words that we couldn’t express.

Well, now that wasn't true. They were words, thoughts, and feelings I couldn't express. Regi had no problem expressing his thoughts and putting them into words. He’d dropped that love-bomb first, and I always knew exactly where I stood with him.

That was part of why I had been the one to run away last year. He’d danced around that four-letter word for the entirety of our summer fling in high school. Even though I knew he felt that strongly, he'd never said them.

To hear him whisper them in my ear, while I was cuddled in his arms in a post-coital bliss, had sent me running. Things between us had been too real, too true, and I hadn't been in the right place to accept Regi for all that he could offer me.

"I don’t want a repeat of this dance we’ve lived through. It hurt a whole fucking lot. I've tried to get away, tried to quit you. But, you are it for me, Mia. I'm done letting you run away. I thought time would help you heal, but instead, it just built those walls thicker and higher. That's over with now." He held my eyes, his heavy brows lurching over his gaze in a dark way, and just dared me to deny what he said.

I flashed him a half smile and stretched my arms over my head. “I hear what you're saying, Regi. But, isn't there something else you should be doing with your mouth?"

His dropped his mouth and bit my leg. His laugh vibrated against my inner thigh. “Someone's gotten sassy while she's been away for me.”

His fingers cupped my ankle, urging my knees higher, and giving him ample room to rip my leggings the rest of the way off.

I narrowed my eyes up at him. "Why am I the only one that's almost naked?"

His bright teeth flashed against the darkness of his scruff. "Because you haven't earned it yet, angel."

Right then and there, I knew I was in trouble.

My heart jolted, and desire sent another wave of slippery wetness growing between my thighs. We were just talking, and I was already creaming my panties. “And how do I earn my reward? I want to see you naked, Regi,” I said with a naughty wiggle.

"Well, first you need to get rid of all these little pieces of lace.” He tugged at the leg band of my panties. “While I love the black, I prefer you naked."

I sucked in a breath, but still tried scolding him. As if I had any control over what the behemoth did. "You better not tear them off, Regi. You used to do that far too much in high school. Do you know how many times I had to go commando because you destroyed my only remaining pair?”

Regi laughed. There was no shame or guilt in his eyes. I knew I would need a panty fund. "I promise, I will repay you for any panties that might accidentally get torn off."

"Incorrigible," I laughed.

"But you love me." His voice grew serious, and I stopped breathing. We had one date, and he was already throwing around the “L” word.

His palms slid up my thigh until they clamped on my hips. He loomed above me, as big as a tree, with his dark brown eyes pouring into mine.

“You have to get used to hearing that word. I spent four years denying how I felt about you because you went like this.” He nodded down my paralyzed body. “You turned to ice and stone. I’m not going to live like that anymore, Mia. Can you handle my love? If not, you need to do what Jo said. Love me. Or leave me.”

Damn, I hated the Jo was right. I cut, well, I tried cutting Regi out of my life, and it hadn’t worked. I wasn't over him. I don't know if I would ever reach the point where I could say I loved him back, but if I wanted him in my life, and a real relationship with him, I needed to get used to him saying he loved me.

I exhaled a long, slow sigh. "You can say it's as much as you want – “

"But you can't say it back to me. Yet."

God, he was so confident. He was so cocksure that I would give him what he wanted, what he needed.

I offered a slight tinkling laugh. "You're the only one that knows me this well. I don’t know if I should love, or hate, your tenacity.”

His rough fingers fanned over my ribs. I was slightly ticklish, and the sensation made my skin itch. I wiggled beneath him, trying to dislodge the location of his fingers, but he knew exactly what he was doing to me.

"We will work. We will last. I promise."

When Regi spoke like that, offering up that P word, I knew he meant it.

Intimacy between us crackled with a latent heat. It had been so long since I let myself go and give into my craving for Regi, that I wasn't sure I could take the lock off that kept me ‘normal’ around him.

But Regi knew all my buttons, and what sweet spots to hit. His head lowered, and he nuzzled his nose against the top of my ribs right below the wire of my bra band.

"Do you remember the first time you let me get you naked?" Regi's voice held a hungry husk.

"I do," I said with a smile. He’d been chasing me for weeks trying to get me to go out with him. He’d been the new boy in school, and the girls had been lining up for him. Except he’d pursued me.

"And you always said no. It drove me fucking crazy."

"You just thought I was being a cock tease, didn’t you?"

"I wondered how someone who looked like you, and who could have anybody you wanted, and I do mean anybody, why you eventually chose me to be your first. Do you know how many guys in that fucking school wanted you? I wanted to fight them all for how they looked at you. You were boner bait.”

"That’s exactly it. All they saw from me was a quick fuck, they wouldn’t have respected my first time. And even though I knew I was leaving and that love wasn’t in my future. I didn't want to just throw away that piece of me. I wanted it to be special.”

Regi locked eyes with me. "So, you gave me your V-card because you knew I was in love with you. You were why I never wanted to sleep with another virgin. It seemed like I was cheating on your memory if I took a piece of a girl like that.”

“Yes. Do you regret it?” I chewed on my inner cheek, melting beneath his confession, and hoping I wouldn’t ruin him further. I’d fucked his life up for the past five years, could I make the next five worth it?

"During those dark days, when I first moved back to Wisconsin and you threw me out of your apartment because you were fucking some schmuck…and then again a couple days ago, I almost regretted it. I almost wished that I could just get over you.” His thumb stroked my skin. “Some things in life are worth working for."

Damn, there I went dissolving into goo. "And you think I'm worth working for, Regi?"

"I think you are definitely worth working for, angel."

He wasn’t playing fair. Every word out of his mouth hammered at my defenses. I don't know why I clutched at them, maybe because I was afraid once I opened the gates, that instead of a heart there would just be emptiness. How could you love someone that was empty? I knew from watching mom that you could fill them up over and over with your love, but it was never enough. Eventually you were worn out, tired, and just as hollow inside.

"I don't want to be your regret. I don't want you looking back in five years and think I'm still capable of giving you what you need. I don’t want you being with me, but wishing for a family and kids buying into the American dream that we are supposed to want."

Regi’s breath heated the area around my broken heart. "I will never regret you, Mia. Even if in six months, if you don't feel the same way about me, at least I know we tried. After all the running, and years of denial, we gave it a try. This is our attempt. Will you give me six months?"

I swallowed thickly. He was asking for a lot. Could I be his…God…his girlfriend for six months?

He deserved it. He’d earned it. "This is our try," I repeated.

Regi flashed me a broad grin, the edges deepening into something wicked.

All the heat I had been denying burst through me with the force of a volcano. I spread my thighs around his body and wiggled against him. I was shocked to find his cock was rock-hard already. I’d barely touched him.

I never forgot how big he was, in height and beneath the belt. Regi was, I sometimes thought, a damn mutant. He was tall, good looking, smart, and hung. In all the sexual “experiments” I had done over the past few years, no one ever measured up to him. He was packing a monster in his boxers, and I knew it. My pussy knew it, and she was on board with getting plowed.

He stuck his fingers beneath my bra straps and pulled them down, his eyes glowing with lust as the cups rolled down. My breasts popped free, and I hissed as my nipples, so sensitive from having been trapped in satin and lace for the entire night, were exposed.

I arched my back, whimpering at the over stimulation.

Regi gently stroked his thumb over one hard tip, soothing the ache but leaving behind a deeper one throbbing deep inside.

I shuddered. “I need you, Regi. Oh, fuck, I need you inside me, please.”