“THEY JUST ABOUT dragged me a couple of times,” I said to Riley, still stumbling along behind Max and Lola. I was laughing and completely out of breath, not to mention utterly proud of myself, even if there’d been a few hiccups along the way.
Grady snorted. “Just about?”
“Okay, so they did drag me, even if I somehow managed to stay on my feet during the process. Quite a distance, actually. But it was just because they saw a squirrel.”
“There’s not a force on this earth that can hold either of them back when they see a squirrel,” Riley commiserated, taking Lola’s leash from me. “I don’t care how strong you are—they’re stronger. Especially when they’re working in tandem with each other. And squirrels are like puppy crack to them.”
“Puppy crack? Please don’t tell me they’re still puppies. They can’t get any bigger than this, can they?” A part of me wished that he’d taken Max’s leash instead of Lola’s, because Max was bigger and stronger. But Max also seemed to be more inclined to listen to me so far. Lola only complied once her brother had obeyed, so maybe there was a method to Riley’s madness and he was actually doing me a favor.
He chuckled. “They’re not puppies, but you’d be hard-pressed to convince them of that fact. They think they need to be on my lap all the time. Both of them at once. Doesn’t work out too well for any of us.”
“Oh no. Do you think they’ll try to get on my lap?”
“I’d put money on it. I think Max has a crush on you.” Riley winked, which led Grady to snort-laugh, which in turn had me chuckling softly to myself.
“Do dogs even get crushes?” I asked.
“They have their favorites, just like people do. And it looks like Max has decided you’re all right.”
There might be some truth to that, since Max had slept curled up around me all night long. I’d have to pay more attention to see if he really did have a preference for me. It could just be that, like Riley and so many other people over the years, Max thought I needed him to look out for me. To protect me, maybe even from myself.
Was I incapable of taking care of myself? Sometimes I had to wonder. But I had to be making strides in the right direction, didn’t I?
Still, I couldn’t get over how pleased with me Riley seemed. He’d dropped the to-go bags on the ground and rushed over, and at first I’d thought he was going to rip the leashes from my hands and berate me for attempting to control the dogs on my own. But instead, he’d lifted me up in the air and spun me around, laughing his head off. I’d had to make him stop because I was dizzy, and then he’d apologized because he didn’t want me to faint again.
But I was in no danger of fainting. I was as delighted as Riley was, and both dogs were barking as if they were happy, too. It kind of felt like we were a family of sorts—a thought that I quickly brushed aside. I’d never had a family, so I didn’t have anything to compare this to, and besides, I couldn’t fall into the trap of believing that would change for me at this point in time.
The worst thing I could do would be to get sucked into the fairy tale and believe that any part of it was real, because that would only make it hurt worse when everything was ripped away from me.
Which was what always happened, after all.
Fairy tales were only stories, and happy-ever-after endings only existed in books and movies.
I’d be much better off if I just focused on the reality of my situation. And the reality was that, married or not, I was still the piece of Riley’s life that would be the easiest to cast aside. And I didn’t think there was anything I could do to change my position in the pecking order, either. Max and Lola were his babies; I was just the helpless chick he’d met in a cantina when he was drunk and hurt and lonely.
Today’s walk with the dogs hadn’t been perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I still couldn’t put the necessary oomph into my voice to make Max and Lola listen to me the way they listened to Riley and Grady—especially not for Lola—but at least I’d managed to put on their leashes and take them out. On top of that, not only had no one gotten hurt but neither dog had run away from me or ripped my arm off in an effort to do so…other than when they’d seen the squirrel.
Baby steps, right? One thing at a time, and the bigger concern was that I was making the effort to learn. I hoped that was enough for Riley to decide to keep me, at least for now. Because it wasn’t just that I didn’t have anywhere else to go anymore.
I wanted to be with him.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I loved him. My head wasn’t quite as far up in the clouds as that would require.
The truth was that I wasn’t sure I was capable of ever loving anyone again, because as soon as I decided I loved someone, something happened to take them away from me or me away from them.
But despite that, I honestly thought we had a shot to make this relationship work out, whether it ever grew to be love or not.
There were plenty of successful marriages in the world that were based on friendship, weren’t there? And we were becoming good friends. Good friends who had lots of sex, maybe, but that didn’t change the friendship aspect.
He made me laugh.
He challenged me to do things I didn’t believe I could do and to face my fears head on instead of letting them control me.
He was looking out for me in ways I clearly hadn’t ever been taught to do for myself, and teaching me how to do them along the way.
Besides, he was obviously a good person if he had the devotion of these two dogs and the deep friendship that he’d developed with Nate.
Maybe his relationships with his birth family weren’t so great, but the same could be said for a lot of people, including me. I didn’t even have family—my birth parents had been meth addicts, and the state had taken me away when I was only two years old—so I was in no position to say anything negative on that front. I couldn’t remember my parents beyond a few fleeting snapshots, and I wasn’t positive they were real and not just my overactive imagination trying to convince me they’d been real.
But Riley had a family of choice—his friends and teammates, the people who looked out for him when he needed it.
The more time I spent with him, the more I wanted this marriage to work out for real, and not just because I didn’t have any other options.
I wanted to have someone in my life I could rely on.
I wanted to be that someone for Riley in return.
Not that I had any clue how I could do that, since I still couldn’t manage to take care of myself. But I could learn, couldn’t I? I could observe and figure out what he needed, and I could find a way of becoming that person. It was the least I could do in exchange for all he’d done for me.
We could make a go of this. We could make this marriage into something real and permanent, something that would last, whether we ever fell in love with each other or not. Love didn’t have to become the end-all, be-all determining factor as to whether this relationship would work out.
Besides, friendships could be more powerful than partnerships based solely on physical elements. I wanted that to be the case for us. Not to say that I didn’t enjoy the physical part of our relationship, of course. I might even enjoy it too much, but there was a lot more involved in making a marriage work than just sex.
Wasn’t there?
Still grinning from ear to ear, Riley set me back on my feet and planted a loud, wet kiss on me that made me blush since Grady was watching the whole thing. Riley swallowed up my hand with one of his, and he took the leashes in the other, until I reached to take one of them back from him. “Come on,” he said, grinning. “I brought lunch. Enough for you, too, Grady, if you have time to stick around.”
“Good, because I’m starving after walking these two monsters,” Grady said.
The three of us headed back to the house, Riley and I each holding on to a leash and guiding a dog. On our way inside, Grady picked up the to-go bags that Riley had dropped.
“Why don’t you help Grady set up the food while I deal with taking off their leashes?” Riley suggested once we were in the living room.
“No, let me do that,” I insisted. Because I had to get comfortable with Max and Lola, and that meant I had to be able to reach over and unhook the thing from their collars without fearing that they’d bite me.
I’d made a ton of progress today, but I still had a long way to go. It wouldn’t do me any good to let Riley do everything for me when I could do something on my own.
Riley eyed me up and down, although I wasn’t sure if he was attempting to gauge my ability or my fear level. Either way, he nodded and backed away, leaving me to deal with Max and Lola on my own.
“Sit,” I said, but I knew I sounded too soft as soon as the word came out. I cleared my throat and tried again, with more oomph. “Sit,” I repeated.
Max plopped down on his butt, and Lola whined and glanced over at Riley—either for support or commiseration, or maybe she was just hoping he would contradict my command—but he had turned his back and was calmly ignoring her, leaving me to do what I’d set out to do.
“Sit, Lola,” I repeated.
She sat. But she grumbled loudly while doing so, making me laugh.
“If you laugh too much, they might not take you seriously,” Riley pointed out.
“Got it. I have to sound like a cruel task master.”
“Not cruel,” Grady put in. “Just sound like you really mean what you say. Like you’re the alpha, and they have to get in line or else.”
I didn’t know how to be the alpha. Heck, I didn’t even know what it meant to be the alpha. That was something I needed to figure out, and sooner rather than later.
I unhooked the leashes and hung them on a hook on the wall next to the front door, and then headed back into the dining room, where the guys had the food all spread out and ready for us.
“You’ve got to release them now,” Riley said.
“Release them?” I’d already taken the leashes off, and I hadn’t exactly put them in chains or cages or anything.
“They’re supposed to keep sitting until you tell them otherwise.”
“So I tell them they can go now?”
“Try something like good dogs,” Grady said.
“Good dogs,” I repeated, sounding kind of baffled, but both Max and Lola immediately scurried over to sit next to the table, as if hoping for scraps, almost as soon as the words were out of my mouth.
Apparently, there was far more for me to learn about being a dog owner than I’d ever imagined. I just hoped I’d have plenty of time in which to learn it.
IT TURNED OUT I’d suffered a high ankle sprain, which was both good news and bad news, all wrapped up in one annoying package.
The good news was that I didn’t need surgery, and once my ankle healed, I shouldn’t have any further issues cropping up.
The bad news was that I’d have to sit out for anywhere from a month to six weeks, or possibly even longer, depending on how my recovery progressed. That meant my return to game action would fall sometime around the very end of the regular season or the beginning of the playoffs—maybe even as late as the second round of the playoffs if we hadn’t been knocked out yet by the time I was ready to make my return.
I didn’t like the thought of jumping straight back into things after the playoffs had already started. I would far prefer to have at least a few games under my belt before that happened so I could get back up to speed and test out what my ankle could and couldn’t handle. And I absolutely couldn’t stomach the thought of the team being knocked out before I even stepped foot on the ice again.
Not gonna happen. Not if I had anything to say about it.
“What do I have to do to be sure I can get back in the lineup before the regular season ends?” I asked Doc as he shuffled through the stack of paperwork in front of him, occasionally glancing up at the computer monitor to check some detail or another.
“Honestly, there’s no way for us to tell how your recovery will progress until we see it happen. Everyone responds differently to treatment. Every sprain is different, and not just because of the severity or precise location of the injury. We’ll just have to play it by ear and see how you do.”
That wasn’t a good enough response, as far as I was concerned. I was the top-line center on our team. While I was out of commission, they’d probably move Koz up to fill in for me, but the guy was as hot-headed as they came, and he ended up in the penalty box more often than he should by a mile. Having him filling in for me in the playoffs wasn’t a recipe for success, whether of the short-term or the long-term variety, even if he had the skills to handle the assignment. It was going to be bad enough that the team would have to trust him in that position for the remainder of the regular season.
I nodded my understanding and resolved to do every last fucking thing the doctors and trainers asked of me, in order to get back on the ice as soon as possible.
When I got home, it was to find my driveway and half the street full of familiar-looking vehicles. They’d left room for me to park, but barely. The second I opened the front door to my house, I wished I could walk right back out, because it was filled to the brim with most of the wives and girlfriends of the guys on my team, and even a few of their younger children who hadn’t started school yet.
It was like I’d stepped into Estrogen Central—not quite what I was hoping for, when I was already disappointed about missing out on Testosterone Town due to not getting to hang out with the guys.
Lola gave me a happy bark and rushed over to greet me, her tail wagging so hard she was creating a breeze. Somehow among the sea of perfume, baby powder, diapers, and feminine laughter, I found Mackenzie seated on an armchair, surrounded by toddlers, with Garrett Burns seated on her lap and tugging on her hair with his sticky, chocolate-covered fingers. Max, however, had set up camp right next to Mackenzie. He was studiously checking out the little boy in her arms, sniffing him as if trying to decide whether to dispose of what could be a threat to his mama.
Mackenzie had only been in my dogs’ lives for a couple of days, and he was already acting protective of her. He was going to get lots of treats later for that.
I wasn’t sure whether to be glad the guys’ wives and girlfriends had convened to welcome Mackenzie into the fold or if it would be better for me to run for the hills and leave Mackenzie to fend for herself.
Katie Babcock and her sister, Dani Williams, pulled away from the mothers and toddlers, making their way over to me. Not only had they each married one of my teammates but they were also one of our coach’s daughters, and Katie’s husband was our captain. These two had become the hub of the WAGs, lately, with their mother at the helm.
“Anne filled us in,” Katie explained, “so we thought we’d get a bunch of us together and welcome Mackenzie into the fold.”
It shouldn’t have surprised me how fast everyone had found out what’d happened, but I was still taken aback by it. “That was nice—”
“We need your credit card,” Dani cut in before I could get any further. “Or rather Mackenzie needs it. And you need to get her set up with some of her own soon, too, so she doesn’t have to ask you for them all the time. We’re taking her shopping for clothes and whatnot since she didn’t have much with her.”
That girl certainly knew how to cut to the chase. Good thing I was on board with her plan.
“Are you all going?” I asked, fishing for my wallet.
“Nah. Just a few of us. We don’t want to torture the little kids, let alone torture the moms by dragging the little kids along. They’re going to the park or something. Letting the kids burn off some energy.”
I nodded, not really taking in anything she’d said. “Make sure she gets whatever she needs, all right? Especially if she tries to insist she doesn’t need something, because I promise, she doesn’t have anything to speak of.” Then I passed a couple of cards into Katie’s waiting hand.
I trusted Katie with my money.
Her sister? Not so much.
Maybe Dani had good intentions and good fashion sense, but she was a bit bullheaded when it came to getting her own way. I didn’t think she’d rub off on Mackenzie, exactly, but I was glad there would be other WAGs going along with them. I didn’t want Dani to push her into buying something she wasn’t comfortable wearing, and I certainly wouldn’t put the idea past Dani.
“We’ve got it under control,” Katie assured me.
Dani nodded. “Yep. You pay the fine, we’ll do the time.”
Her sister just shook her head and dragged her away from me.
When I glanced over to Mackenzie again, she looked up and sent a knock-out smile in my direction. There was definitely a hint of panic in her eyes, but her infectious joy was quickly taking over the nerves.
I had to wonder if she’d ever been surrounded by such a close-knit group of people before. Oh, sure, there were times when some of the guys got on one another’s nerves, and I was positive there were moments when the WAGs had disagreements. Amanda, in particular, had never fit in with them. I think most of these women saw through her well before I did, much like Ghost had. But overall, they got along great. The team owner, Mr. Engels, had done a fantastic job of fostering a sense of family throughout the entire Storm organization.
I’d never appreciated it more than I did right now. Because my own family was shit, and Mackenzie didn’t have a family. Or at least she hadn’t until now.
Now we both did—a family of choice, instead of the ones we’d been unlucky enough to be born into.
I hoped she realized how fortunate we were, because I sure as fuck did.