I HELD ON to Anne’s hand with a death grip, my entire body shaking with each and every step I took down the stairs, which suddenly seemed to have twice the height and depth of normal stairs.
“You’re not breathing again,” she said, keeping her voice quiet enough that the guys and dogs wouldn’t hear her words but loud enough that it would break through the steady ka-thunk, ka-thunk, ka-thunk of my pulse. “You’ve got to start breathing or the whole deal’s off and I’m taking you back upstairs and putting you to bed. And we might go ahead and call an ambulance, too, if it comes to that.”
I nodded, but it still took me about two more steps before I was able to fully exhale the pent-up air from my lungs. “No ambulance,” I insisted. I didn’t have any health insurance and I couldn’t afford to pay for any trips to the emergency room, so I just had to keep breathing. And even if Riley could put me on his insurance plan now that we were married, he hadn’t done it yet, and I had no intention of becoming a burden for him and his bank account.
He’d already done more than enough for me; I couldn’t become a financial liability for him on top of everything else.
Three more steps to go, and then we’d be on the ground floor. Where the dogs were. Max and Lola, I silently reminded myself, not to be collectively known as the dogs, although in my mind, it was far more likely for them to become the hell-beasts. They were dogs, and they had names, and I needed to think of them by their names because they were essentially the only family that Riley had now.
Other than me.
But he’d had his pets a lot longer than he’d had me. I couldn’t let myself forget that fact. They might as well be his children. And what man wouldn’t choose his own children over some woman he’d met in a Mexican cantina and had only known for less than a week?
Married or not, I had a feeling that he’d choose Max and Lola if it came down to having to make that sort of decision.
Not the best line of thought for me to be having at the moment. I gave myself a mental shake and tried to think positive thoughts.
He had married me.
He’d brought me back to Portland with him instead of leaving me in Mexico to fend for myself through whatever means I came up with.
He had the sexiest smile on the face of the planet, especially when he smiled at me.
He was a good guy. One of the truly good guys out there. I knew it, deep down inside in my soul. More than that, I actually believed it. I had to believe it, because I’d entrusted my entire life into his hands.
So that had to mean he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me, right? He wouldn’t let his monster dogs eat me for dinner?
That shouldn’t have gone through my mind as a question, but it was certainly formulating as a question in my erratic thought process.
But then I saw one of the dogs. It was enormous, somehow even bigger than I remembered from the brief moments of panic before I’d fainted. And it barked, which triggered the other dog to bark, too, which made me just about jump out of my skin.
Their barks were as big and terrifying as their bodies. And I could imagine how big their teeth must be. More than big enough to rip me to shreds should they choose to do so. No doubt, their jaws were perfectly strong enough to clamp down and shake the life right out of me.
Anne tightened her grip on my hand at the same time as Riley said, “Hush, Lola,” and his friend tightened his grip on the first dog’s leash. Somehow, both dogs went quiet. No more barking.
Was that normal? Could dogs be taught to be calm? I’d never been around them enough to know. The only dogs I’d spent much time with had been wild and out of control.
The other dog, the one whose leash Riley was holding, was even bigger than the first. But it was sitting placidly at Riley’s feet, breathing a bit fast maybe, which might be a sign of excitement at meeting a new person instead of blood lust, I supposed. But it sat there with its ears down and its tongue lolling out of its mouth, perfectly calm by all appearances, even if it was quirking its head from side to side as it checked me out.
Did I look tastier if viewed at an angle? I felt compelled to tell them that there wasn’t much meat on me, so they’d be better off choosing someone else for their snack, but somehow I managed to keep my thoughts to myself.
And good grief, I had to stop thinking they wanted to eat me. I was only making things worse for myself, the more I allowed my imagination to run rampant.
They both sat back on their haunches, staring at me attentively. They were definitely interested, but it didn’t seem like they wanted to make a meal out of me. I certainly had no intention of becoming dog food, either.
“Why don’t you come a little closer and hold out your hand so they can sniff you?” Riley suggested. “That’s kind of how they greet people. They want to know your scent so they can be sure you’re a good person and not a bad one.”
“And they can tell that from the way a person smells?” I cracked. “What if I use the wrong brand of soap?” But then again, I’d used the same soap Riley had been using, so maybe that wouldn’t be an issue. Hopefully not. I was pleased to see that somehow, despite my fear, I’d been able to crack a joke. Go figure.
“Just be glad they want to start with your hand and not your ass,” the other man said. “But they’ll get there, too, before very much longer. They like to sniff everything.”
Who was he again? Anne’s husband. Nate? Nick? Something like that. In all honesty, I was far more concerned about the dogs than I was about keeping the people’s names straight.
Riley elbowed his friend in the ribs, but they both just shook it off, never loosening the grips they had on Max and Lola.
Holding out my hand for these dogs seemed like a suicide mission. Wouldn’t it just make it easier for them to bite my hand free from my arm? Or to grab hold of my limb and race out the front door, dragging me behind them like a ragdoll so they could dig a hole in the yard and bury me in it? But somehow, I put one foot in front of the other and I slowly, cautiously crossed the floor until I was standing only about a foot in front of the two enormous creatures.
I wanted to look up into Riley’s eyes for encouragement, for acknowledgment that I was doing things right, but I didn’t dare take my gaze away from those two animals. My heart pounding so hard I thought my chest might explode and my breathing as shallow as it had ever been, I gradually inched closer, stretching my arm out toward them, palm up.
Lola sniffed me first, her snout working overtime as she worked over my hand and forearm. She wasn’t finished yet when Max leaned in and started his inspection.
I couldn’t stop myself from shaking, but so far, they weren’t doing anything awful. No attempts to bite me, at least, and they hadn’t even done so much as attempt to taste me. Lola’s wet nose nudged the palm of my hand at one point, and I tried not to jump in surprise when she followed it up with a soft lick from her tongue.
That was almost more than I could handle. “Oh, God. She’s about to eat me. She’s sampling me to see if she’d rather have me for her supper or save me for dessert.”
Nate chuckled, but Riley was as calm as ever. “She’s kissing you. That’s not the same as getting you ready to go on a platter for a midnight snack. And besides, she’s just going to figure out that you’re as sweet as I already know you are.”
I didn’t have the energy to blush. All my efforts were otherwise focused on staying alive. “Kissing me?” I couldn’t wrap my head around that, not even when Max joined in, running his big, wet tongue along my arm. I shivered.
“They seem to like you,” Anne said.
“Yeah, they’d like me for a nice, tasty meal,” I retorted.
Riley rolled his eyes so hard I could feel it without looking up to see it. “Why don’t you try petting them?” he suggested, as if it was the only thing that could possibly make sense. “Lola likes it if you rub her ears, and Max’s favorite thing ever is a good belly rub, but he’ll settle for any kind of petting you’re comfortable giving him.”
“Kind of like RJ. Pet him anywhere, anytime, and he’ll be putty in your hands,” Nate said under his breath, but it was more than loud enough for me to hear him. Riley heard him, too, if the annoyed look that Riley passed him was a clue. Nate just shrugged it off, obviously unconcerned about upsetting his best friend.
I laughed, despite my fear.
“See?” Riley said. “It’s not that bad. You can still laugh, so you can’t be too scared.”
He was wrong about that, but I didn’t feel like arguing. Especially not since I hadn’t touched either dog yet. They’d touched me, but that wasn’t the same thing. The difference between the two was easily a mile wide.
I decided to start with Lola, mainly because she was slightly smaller. Not enough smaller for me to doubt her ability to squash me if she saw fit, but Max probably had thirty or forty pounds on her. As quickly as I dared—which was about the speed of water freezing on the beach during a Mexican summer afternoon—I stretched out my hand toward Lola’s ear. It was surprisingly soft, almost like velvet. I rubbed the fur between my thumb and forefingers until she made a happy sound that left me giggling from a combination of relief and giddiness. Within moments, she was leaning in toward me, almost as if begging for more of my touch.
“You should scratch her on the top of her head with your other hand,” Riley suggested.
So I did, even though it would give her another opportunity to bite me.
Her eyes rolled back in her head in what appeared to be her own private version of doggy nirvana.
I wasn’t ready to admit it, but I could get used to this. That said, I definitely wasn’t ready to try rubbing Max on his belly. That seemed like an invitation for him to eat my hand, and I was kind of attached to my limbs and various appendages at present.
Instead, I thought I’d try out rubbing his ears, too. That way, I could keep things equal between them. No reason for one to be jealous of the other.
If that was even a thing. Did dogs get jealous of each other? No idea.
His ears were even softer than Lola’s, if that was possible, and within a moment of me beginning to rub, he let out a whimpering sort of sound that made me melt.
“Yeah, he’s going to expect you to do that almost nonstop for the next decade or so, now,” Riley said. When I glanced up, his eyes were filled with laughter. “Told you they’d like you. Told you everything would be fine.”
He had told me, and even though Anne had told me the same thing, I hadn’t believed them. Maybe Riley was right about more than just this. Maybe the two of us could find a way to make this marriage work.
Through compromise. And through stepping outside our comfort zones. And through trying things that scared us.
I was still a bit nervous, but I found myself dropping to my knees on the floor and scratching both dogs on their necks at the same time. It might have been a bit soon for making a move like that, though, because Lola proceeded to attempt to climb onto my lap, licking my cheek and spreading her doggy slobber all over me. Despite myself, I fell over laughing, and both dogs piled on until I was giggling and suffocating and gasping for air.
But I wasn’t scared anymore.
Or at least I wasn’t scared of these dogs.
There were still plenty of other things in this world for me to fear. My whirlwind trip to Cabo had been more than enough to open my eyes to that fact.
I DOUBTED MACKENZIE would be able to walk Max and Lola on her own anytime soon, but that was a task that even I could hardly handle without help, and I was a hell of a lot bigger and stronger than she was. I’d had a dog walker coming to take care of things during the team’s road trips for a couple of years already, anyway, because Amanda had outright refused to try walking them even when I was home to do it with her. My new marriage to Mackenzie wouldn’t require a change as far as having a dog walker was concerned. We could keep the current system set up the way it was, and Mackenzie might even be willing to help when it was time for Max and Lola to go out for a walk or for their doggy swimming lessons—something Amanda had neither been prepared nor keen to do.
The good news was that, even though Mackenzie was still visibly afraid of my pups, she was making an effort to face and conquer her fears. That was all I could ask of her, in the end. But the knowledge that she had these two looking out for her would sure make me feel a hell of a lot better about leaving her alone in Portland once my ankle had healed and I was out on the road with the team.
Of course, I didn’t think Amanda would come back and try to do anything, like get into the house and take something she thought should be hers, and I had even greater doubt that Colby would try anything of that nature. But then again, I’d never thought my former fiancée would cheat on me with my brother, and I’d never thought my brother had that level of backstabbing in him, either. Just went to show that no matter how well I had thought I’d known them both, I hadn’t really known them at all. So there was no telling what they were capable of if given the right motivation.
But what would that motivation be? I honestly didn’t want to know. And frankly, my energy would be better spent on making sure Mackenzie was comfortable with Max and Lola so that she’d be safe, no matter what happened.
After spending the afternoon with Ghost and Anne, all of us trying to help Mackenzie get over her fear of my dogs, the four of us had gone out to dinner together. That got Mackenzie away from Max and Lola for a bit so she could have something of a respite, and it gave Ghost and Anne a chance to get to know her and vice versa.
Away from the dogs, Mackenzie seemed to breathe a bit more freely, laughing every time Ghost took a jibe at me and lighting up when Anne told her about the behind-the-scenes work she did with the team while producing Eye of the Storm.
“We’re actually planning to do a feature in some of the upcoming webisodes that’ll focus on some of the guys’ wives and girlfriends,” Anne said, reaching across the table for the salt shaker. “Maybe a few of the kids, too, if their parents will allow it. Tuck Campbell is one I’m dying to put on the show. The kid’s a spitfire. Smallest player, by far, on his peewee hockey team, but he’s the best one out there. He tells me he’s going to be just like his uncle Zee.”
Zee was the guys’ nickname for Eric Zellinger, our former captain and teammate who’d been picked up in an expansion draft and now played for the Tulsa Thunderbirds.
“He wants to be like Zee?” I asked, wincing inwardly. “Not like Soupy? Ouch.” Soupy, otherwise known as Brenden Campbell, was the kid’s stepdad, after all, and Zee was just his uncle. Or really his step-uncle, I supposed.
“Zee’s a team captain,” Ghost said, shrugging. “Top-line center. The guy’s a superstar in the league by anyone’s standard. And Soupy’s always injured, anyway.”
“Hey, I’m injured, too. Doesn’t make me any less awesome.” I winked at Mackenzie so she’d know I was joking. Didn’t want her to take me too seriously, because I sure as hell didn’t, and there was no chance Ghost would let me get away with filling her head with lies.
He chuckled, but he didn’t contradict me. “There’s no harm in the kid wanting to be like his uncle.”
“Think he’ll ever be big enough to have a real shot?”
“He’s only twelve. When did you hit your big growth spurt, hmm?” Ghost raised a mocking brow in my direction. “Weren’t you fifteen when you shot up like a weed? He’s got plenty of time. And besides, I’m always telling you.” He paused for dramatic effect and turned to his wife. “Size isn’t everything. Isn’t that right, Anne?”
“Oh, I’m sure she already has her opinions on that matter, but I wouldn’t be so certain they line up with yours. Could just be what she tells you to make you feel better,” I said, and I grinned over at Mackenzie, who ducked her head and refused to meet anyone’s gaze. She was so fucking cute I almost couldn’t stand it.
“Height has nothing to do with size where it matters,” he shot back. “And I’ve had no complaints. You’re okay, right, baby?”
I rolled my eyes. “Maybe she just doesn’t want to hurt your itty-bitty little feelings.”
“Or maybe she just doesn’t want to embarrass your wife any more than you already are.”
I arched a brow at him, and he nodded his head toward Mackenzie, who was about as red as the tomato on her salad and looked like she would prefer to slide under the table.
“Might as well get used to it now, Mackenzie,” Anne said, grinning and (barely) keeping her laughter in check. “There’s nothing off-limits between these two. If we’re not careful, they might start up a competition to see whose fart is the foulest or something.”
“Ghost wins that one,” I said without batting an eye. “There’s no point in holding a competition if we already know the outcome before we even start.”
“I don’t know. I’d say Hammer could beat me.”
Chris Hammond, better known as Hammer to the guys, was one of our teammates, a steady, stay-at-home defenseman and the oldest guy on the team. And yes, Ghost was right. He could easily clear a room in less than two seconds. Took it as a point of pride. We might be professional hockey players who made millions of dollars, but put a bunch of us together in a locker room, and we were all twelve-year-old idiots again.
“But Hammer’s not here, is he?” I shot back. “So if it’s just the two of us…”
“Do you really want to embarrass your new wife like that in public?” Anne asked pointedly. She even arched a brow in such a perfect imitation of Ghost’s mother it made me squirm.
“We’ll save it for later,” Ghost said.
“Preferably sometime when Mackenzie and I aren’t anywhere within a square mile of you,” Anne retorted. She waited until Mackenzie met her gaze with a soft smile. “I’ve got your back, hon. We’ve got to look out for each other with these two clowns around.”
“You have no problem looking out for yourself around the whole team of clowns,” Ghost said.
“Damn right, I don’t. And I’m going to make sure Mackenzie’s all right, too.”
With that, Mackenzie’s smile slowly started to spread. “Looks like I need to work on my one-liners if I’m going to make it around you three.”
“If you’re only getting started now,” Ghost said seriously, “you’re too late. We’ll eat you for dinner.”
I leaned in next to her ear and whispered, “I don’t know about dinner, but I’m down for eating you for dessert.”
I’d only thought she was red before. Holy hell, I loved making this woman blush. It was good for my ego, and frankly, my ego needed a good stroke or two. Kind of like my dick.