Chapter 37
Ian
I was temporarily stunned into silence. I had rehearsed in my head a thousand times what I would say to Adalyn when I had the chance. Not because any of it was untrue, but because I was afraid I would only get one shot at explaining myself and I didn’t want to mess it up. Only I was messing it up, because I wasn’t saying anything at all.
The last half hour had just been so bizarre; it had completely thrown me. When I saw Adalyn on top of Maggie, beating her to a bloody pulp, I reacted instinctively. I couldn’t give a shit what happened to Maggie, but I knew the cops would show up soon and the last thing Adalyn needed right now was to be hauled off to jail.
Then when I got into the car I expected her to hit me or scream at me or just get out and run. I never expected her to start laughing. Seeing her like that, smiling and bent over laughing, it was the first time since that day at the hospital that I felt a glimmer of hope.
And here was my chance. Adalyn was looking at me patiently, still breathing heavily from laughing so hard. She looked so beautiful and I wanted so badly to pull her into my arms to hold her and never let go. I asked my driver to pull over and step out to give us a moment of privacy.
“I’m sorry, Adalyn,” I said lamely. I shook my head in embarrassment, knowing I was messing this up. I was just so terrified of doing or saying the wrong thing that I couldn’t pull together a coherent sentence.
And just when I thought Adalyn couldn’t surprise me any more, she reached over and took my hand in hers and said, “I know.”
“You know?”
“I know you’re sorry. I’ve had a lot of time to think over the past few weeks and I know there has to be some logical explanation about what happened, I just wasn’t ready to hear it yet. Even if you don’t want to be with me Ian…even if you’d rather go back to her…I still know you didn’t do what you did to hurt me. And if what you want is to be with her, I’ll let you go. I just…I need to know why.”
I never felt more unworthy of her love than in that moment. How the doctors ever thought she wouldn’t recover is beyond me. She is by far the strongest person I have ever met.
“Oh my God, Adalyn, no. I mean, yes, I didn’t mean to hurt you. But no, I don’t want Maggie. I know how it looked. I know it looked horrible and I wish so badly that I could go back and do things differently so that you wouldn’t have to live with that horrible image in your head, but I can’t and so I can promise you I’ll spend the rest of my life giving you as many amazing images as it takes to get that one out of your head.”
“Ian,” she said patiently. “Just tell me what happened. Please.”
“Okay, well, I guess I should start at the beginning. The first thing I should apologize for is for not telling you that the person Maggie cheated on me with was my best friend.”
“Yeah…why would you leave something like that out?”
“Because he was also Carrie’s boyfriend at the time. That part was harder on her than it was me and I didn’t want to share that part because it’s more important to her story than mine. I figured that detail would get brought up eventually and I wanted to give Carrie the chance to tell you on her own terms before I said anything.”
Adalyn squeezed my hand in response and gave me a sympathetic smile, encouraging me to keep going.
“Either way, I still should have told you and for that I’m sorry. As for her saying she was my fiancé…” I paused, giving Adalyn a chance to speak, but she continued to sit patiently, waiting for my explanation.
“I asked her to marry me that night, the night she cheated on me. I asked her before we ever left for the event, but she just said she needed to think about it and didn’t even take the ring. I hadn’t made a big deal about it. I’m not proud of it, but I bought the first ring I saw without any thought, and when I asked her I didn’t even get down on one knee. We’d just been together for so long and it seemed like the next step in my life and I felt some sort of strange obligation to do it, but my heart wasn’t in it. When she didn’t give me an answer right away I wasn’t even upset, I was just relieved. I never should have been with her. I should have ended it long before it ever came to that, I know that now.”
“Then what happened in that room, Ian? I saw all of it. I’m sorry that I spied, but that’s not what I had intended to do initially. I was just worried about you. You snapped at me…you’d never spoken to me like that before. Maggie had been running her mouth, saying all kinds of hateful things, and I didn’t want her to turn that on you and ruin the evening. But if you don’t still love her, then why were your hands all over her? I heard a moan, Ian. You moaned, and that’s when I…” She choked on her words and started to pull her hand away, but I grabbed onto her and tugged lightly, pulling her closer to me.
“I took her in there to yell at her. She is always playing games and when I saw her over there talking to you, I knew she had to be saying awful things. Your fists were clenched and you seriously looked like you wanted to kill her. I panicked and pulled her into that room so that when I laid into her for harassing you it wouldn’t cause a scene. I’m so sorry for snapping at you, there is no excuse for me doing that. All I can tell you is that I was already so ready to yell at her that when you tried to step in, I overreacted and let my pride get in the way. I didn’t want you or her thinking I couldn’t handle it by myself, and you offering to help in that moment made me feel weak. I know now how stupid and selfish that kind of reaction was, but I wasn’t thinking rationally.”
I paused, grinding my teeth and trying to push down the fury that rose at the thought of Maggie and how she had the nerve to come back into my life and try to mess with me again. “When we got in the room, she spoke before I had a chance and just the sound of her voice brought up so many horrible memories… It took everything I had not to hit her, took so much strength not to physically harm a woman and that thought made me feel ashamed. So for a minute I froze, trying to decide if I was going to be able to yell at her without hitting her or if I should just walk away.”
I took in Adalyn’s face, trying to get a read on what she was feeling, but she showed nothing. She either had a really good poker face or there was really no judgment coming from her. She should be judging me. I was weak. I should have been able to keep my composure and put Maggie in her place for having the nerve to approach Adalyn.
“Your timing was impeccable. In that moment when she was begging me to stay and talk to her, I thought that maybe if I just let her say whatever she needed to say then she would just leave us alone, let it all go. When I thought of you in the other room waiting on me, I realized she wasn’t even worth my time. She wasn’t worth the energy it would take to yell at her, I should have just thrown her out. So right as I found my voice and started to tell her to just leave, she yanked her dress down and threw herself at me. I went to push her off me but then her hand was on my…you know…and it shocked me just long enough for her to lock me in. It all happened so fast, and before I had a chance to push her away you were there. I know you probably don’t believe me,” I said, shaking my head. “But it’s true. I would never do that to you, Adalyn. I would never do to anyone what she did to me. I feel nothing for her. Nothing emotional or physical. I only see you, I only want you. When she touched me it was repulsive. Feeling her mouth on mine…” My whole body shuddered at the memory. “If you hadn’t walked in when you did I think I might have literally thrown up on her.”
Adalyn barked out a laugh, and when I finally forced myself to look up at her, it was clear she believed me. I didn’t deserve it, I didn’t know why she believed me, but I had never been so relieved in my life.
“I’m sorry, Ian.”
“What!?” I yelled a little too loudly. Of all the responses I anticipated, her apologizing was not one of them.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not trusting you. For reacting before I gave you a chance to explain. For running off like that and worrying you and then pushing you away for so long. I know how much that must have hurt you, and it wasn’t fair of me to punish you because of my sordid past, and for that I am really, truly sorry. I saw it all, the whole thing. Everything you’re saying matches up with what I saw and I believe you. I really do. Do you think that you could forgive me?”
I took a moment to really look at Adalyn, wondering how it was possible for someone to be so perfect. Instead of hating me like she should or refusing to believe me, she was worried about me forgiving her?
“No, I won’t forgive you Adalyn, because you did absolutely nothing wrong. I hold all the blame. And by the way…the comic book? What was that all about?”
A mischievous grin spread across her face and she cupped the side of my face in her palm. “You’re my hero, Ian. When I didn’t think I needed saving, you saved me any way. I didn’t realize how much pain I was still in until you. How much I was missing in life by closing myself off like I had been. You pressed and pressed for more of me…you never gave up no matter how much I pushed you away. I could never thank you for everything you’ve done for me, just by loving me. I wanted to show you and I got the idea that first night when you took off your dress shirt and had that Superman t-shirt on. So I asked Carrie to help me and almost the entire company was involved. They all agree that your kindness, generosity and willingness to sacrifice yourself for others makes you as close to a hero as anyone, and they were excited to help.”
I couldn’t believe Adalyn and so many people had gone so far out of their way to do something like that for me. I didn’t know what to say.
“That’s amazing, Adalyn. But why the charity fundraiser? Why was that the night of the big reveal?”
An even bigger grin took over her face and her eyes lit up like it was Christmas morning.
“That’s the best part,” she said giddily. “All the proceeds from all of that will go directly to the Drake Foundation. So not only are you still helping so many people in the ways you already had been, but this comic book and whatever else we turn it into that is specifically inspired by you, will help even more.”
Before she could say another word I pulled her the rest of the way into my lap, twining my fingers through her hair and hungrily kissed her as if it was the last time I would ever get to feel her soft lips on mine. She moaned in response, returning my kiss with the same amount of hunger as she started pulling on the hem of my shirt, lifting it over my head.
“I’ve missed you so much,” she said as she trailed kisses down my neck and to my stomach, where she was hastily undoing the button to my jeans.
As much as I wanted her, and I really wanted her, she deserved more than a quick fuck in the back of a car after everything we had been through. So I took her face in my hands, cupping both her cheeks as I kissed her softly.
“I’ve missed you too, more than you’ll ever know. And I want you so badly, but not here. Not like this. I want you in my bed, where I can take my time with you. I want to worship you, taste every inch of you, and make sweet love to you until neither of us have the strength to move. I want to memorize every curve of your body and hold you in my arms all night. Tell me you want that, too, Adalyn.”
She looked longingly into my eyes and I knew in that moment that we could overcome anything, and there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that soon…very soon…this beautiful woman would be my wife.