Chapter 23
Jude
Logan and his brother stayed gone for what felt like forever and Jude was surprisingly thankful for the distance. He was pretty certain Logan was done running, but honestly, if his mate took off it really wouldn’t be much different than the distance Logan forced between them now. Jude had to reign in his tiger several times that day as it paced just under the surface, desperate to hunt down its missing mate. Jude knew nothing could do more damage to their tenuous connection than letting his tiger loose right now.
Jude thought back to the havoc he’d been able to wreck in mere housecat form. That was nothing compared to what his tiger would do if he decided his true mate was at stake. The beast had no compunction when it came to Logan. It had made its mind up months ago that Logan belonged to him and nothing was ever going to get in the way of that, regardless of what his more sensible side allowed. If Jude let his control slip for an instant, he was certain his more primal half would be dragging Logan off to a cave somewhere and the claim would be complete whether Logan agreed or not.
“Fuck, maybe I should just let him have his way. At least then Logan would stop denying he’s our mate,” Jude said to himself. He chucked the idea instantly, though, certain if he forced a claim on Logan, the other shifter would never forgive him. As stubborn as Logan was proving to be, Jude couldn’t imagine the horror of such an unhappy pairing being forced on both of them. While their bodies and animals would be accepting, their human hearts and minds would never give up the fight. Jude considered that picture of the future to be a fate worse than death.
Jude looked around the room and catalogued his mate one more time. He blew out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and steadied himself for what he knew he had to do. He pulled out the picture of Izzy’s fetus from his wallet and stared at it in wonder until his vision blurred. He turned the picture over and wrote on the back, leaving the note face down on the desk where Logan would easily find it. Jude shouldered his full backpack and put one foot in front of the other, refusing to allow himself to look back again. His tiger paced and roared just under the surface, but Jude pushed the beast down and kept walking.
“Where you going, Tiger?” the ginger wolf manning the gate challenged when Jude approached.
“Kieran, right?” Jude asked. When the other man only crossed his arms over his chest defensively, Jude figured small talk was overrated anyway.
“Can you open the gate please, Kieran or whatever your name is? My business here is done.” The ginger snorted in derision and reached behind him to trigger the gate release.
“Figured you were a fraud. No way could a tiger be Logan’s mate,” Kieran said. Jude refused to give the ginger the satisfaction of an answer. Instead he hiked his backpack up a little more on one shoulder and walked through the gate. When it slid shut almost silently behind him, Jude’s heart shattered but he kept walking. When the sun was down past the horizon, his windblown thumb finally snagged a long-haul trucker bound north. Jude didn’t really care where it was going. As long as it was heading away from here, it would be a start.
“I’ve been alone before. I can be alone again. Like a walk in the park,” Jude muttered under his breath.
“You say something?” the beefy trucker asked. Jude shot the man what he hoped was a reassuring smile, sans teeth. He couldn’t go freaking out the first person willing to stop in hours.
“Just talking to myself, man. Thanks again for the ride. I was starting to think I was camping outdoors tonight,” Jude said conversationally. The trucker seemed pacified and started telling Jude his life story apparently. After the second wife, Jude stopped pretending to listen; letting the guy also pretend they were having some bonding moment. He figured the guy must be pretty lonely driving to nowhere and back day in and day out. It couldn’t hurt to let the guy talk and it helped tune out the buzzing in Jude’s brain anyway.
At least an hour later, the trucker seemed to run out of story and finally fell silent. He played with the radio until he found a country western station with a fairly decent signal and hummed along. Jude smirked. The guy just couldn’t be silent apparently, but Jude didn’t mind. Jude kept his eyes trained out the passenger window watching the highway fly by at speeds even his tiger couldn’t match. The further away he got from Logan’s home pack, the less his tiger fought to get free. It was as if the beast realized the struggle was futile and was giving up.
No, Jude admitted. Not giving up. Waiting. Waiting until Jude dropped his guard again and then the tiger would hunt its mate at the first chance it got. Jude hated that he had the experience with fighting against his more primal side. Tigers were so damn stubborn about so many things, but Jude knew this was going to be the hardest battle he’d fought against his other half. The tiger’s prize wasn’t just dominance or a meal this time. It was his true mate and Jude briefly admitted the battle to keep his animalistic side under control wasn’t going to be pretty.
In order to have any hope of keeping his distance, Jude had to go back down a path he’d hoped to never travel again. Realizing there was nothing for it, Jude sighed which unfortunately reminded the trucker of his trapped audience.
“Where you headed again?” the trucker asked for what Jude suspected was the fifth time since he’d gotten in the truck.
“Dallas,” Jude answered tonelessly.
“Oh, let me tell you about the last time I was in Dallas. This one’s a humdinger….”