Chapter One
Vala Yarlen stood in front of the Barren Mother and tried her best not to fidget. If the leader of her citadel didn’t sign the final documents, Vala wouldn’t be able to join the colony transport ship leaving in a few hours.
And while she’d done her best to hide her desires for most of her life, the document in front of the Barren Mother would give her a new life on a new planet; a planet where both a princess and a human colony leader waited for her. Not because they wanted her as a servant. No, because they considered her a friend.
Her only non-Barren friends, to be exact. The Barren were females who couldn’t have children and were pushed to the fringes of Kelderan society at a young age. Vala and the others were to be shadows and nothing more. They existed to help the sick and to voluntarily ease the sexual urges of warriors aboard the various Kelderan starships.
She’d never questioned the customs until recently, when she’d assisted the Kelderan princess to rescue a prince and his bride. After piloting a shuttle and being useful, Vala didn’t want to go back to the shadows.
That was exactly what would happen if she continued living inside the citadel.
Unable to stand still any longer, Vala moved one of her feet. The much older female looked up from the document at the sound, her gray hair rustling against her shoulders in the process. “If I sign this, Vala, you’ll lose the protection of the citadel. I can’t protect you on this new planet called Jasvar. While humans currently occupy the planet, the Kelderans going to form their own colony there won’t change their views about us simply because the human leader demands it. Males may end up taking advantage of you. Will you accept that risk?”
Vala stood taller. “I’m aware, Barren Mother, and I accept the risk. The sole princess of Keldera has requested my presence, and one of our highest honors is to serve the royal family.”
The Barren Mother leaned back in her chair. “Formally, you are correct. It’d be an honor for any Barren to serve the princess. However, you do not have to accept the summons. I can make worthy excuses as to why you’re needed here.”
Vala had known the older female her entire life, even before she’d taken over leadership of the citadel and everyone who lived inside it. The Barren Mother had one of the biggest hearts and was also intelligent. If Vala wanted to refuse a royal summons, the Barren Mother would find a way to do it without causing offense.
Staying on Keldera with her own kind would be the easy path.
No. Part of the reason Vala had waited until the last minute to ask the Barren Mother’s permission was to ensure she didn’t back down from the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Vala wanted to leave the planet. But standing up for herself and going against expectations wasn’t her usual way of doing things.
However, she needed to speak her mind now or risk losing her only chance at a fresh start.
Taking a deep breath, Vala forced out the words before she lost her nerve. “I appreciate the offer, but I must decline. After seeing the stars and how life progresses outside of our sanctuary, I yearn for more. If I remain, I’ll become an unnecessary burden. Let me be useful. Since I won’t have the pressure of helping to populate the new colony, I can help the humans understand our people. They don’t view infertility in the same way as the people of Keldera.”
Many of the other Barren females living at the citadel would frown or take Vala aside to scold her. It wasn’t a Barren’s place to question ways or push boundaries. They were allowed to live by the grace and goodwill of the king. It was their duty to never forget that fact and to repay the king’s kindness by serving Keldera to the best of their ability.
However, the Barren Mother was different from the others—her position required her to view all sides of an argument—and always was fair. Vala only hoped her honesty would help her case rather than hurt her.
The other female merely studied her before finally sighing. “You’d never be a burden to me, child. To be honest, I’ll miss your smile and quick mind.”
Vala’s heart skipped a beat. “Does that mean I have permission to go?”
The Barren Mother signed the document with a flourish and handed it over to Vala. “Destiny has chosen you for great things, Vala Yarlen. I have faith you will live up to your potential and maybe exceed it. Just make sure to update us once in a while on your progress and accomplishments. There are many who care for you within these walls. You’ll be missed.”
Tears prickled her eyes at the thought of never stepping foot inside the citadel again, but Vala blinked a few times to push them back. To cry in front of the Barren Mother would be a great dishonor. “Thank you, and I will send as many transmissions as I’m allowed.”
The older female waved a hand. “Gratitude is unnecessary. Hard work has earned you my respect. Now, hurry, child. You don’t have long until they start boarding the colony transport ship, and your mother will be anxious to spend the last remaining moments with you.”
She bobbed her head. “May fortune allow you to serve with honor.”
“And may destiny shine light into your life to chase away the darkness,” the older female finished.
Not wanting to think about how that would be the last time Vala ever said the formal blessing to the Barren Mother, she quickly bowed her head and exited the room.
It was time to find her adopted mother and somehow say goodbye to the only family she had truly ever known.
~~~
General Thorin Jarrell exited the Kelderan colony transport ship’s main engineering room and headed toward his new quarters. There was still much to do before the ship’s launch, but he needed a moment of peace if he wished to conceal his biggest secret. The lack of sleep and demands on his time had prevented him from meditating properly, let alone taking care of his unwanted sexual desires.
For a Kelderan, sexual desires were easy to control. However, Thorin was half-Brevkan—a violent, dishonorable race that was the sworn enemy of all Kelderans.
Being part Brevkan was more than a curse; it was dangerous. The genes of his rapist father wanted sex and violence above all else.
Thorin had managed to control his unwanted side for nearly three decades. He had come close a few times in exposing his violent side and being discovered, but through sheer strength and stubbornness, he’d kept his darkness in check. He sure as hell wasn’t about to let it win after all this time.
Especially since the mission to Jasvar was Thorin’s first assignment as the general in charge of a ship. He’d ensure the colonists and his crew would reach their destination in one piece, or die trying.
Picking up his pace, he was about to make the final turn to his quarters when one of his warriors in charge of security approached.
For a brief moment, the urge to rip out the warrior’s heart and watch him die coursed through his body. The kill would make him feel better. Yes, he should give in and accept his true self. Life would be much more fun if the weakest were culled. Only the strongest should be allowed to survive.
Taking a deep breath, he ignored the thoughts and brought up every major battle he’d won defending his people from enemies. As a Kelderan soldier, Thorin had vowed to protect every citizen of Keldera with his life. He couldn’t forget that now.
Drawing on the images of his successes, plus his years of training when it came to concealing his true emotions, he asked, “What’s wrong? I’m to only be disturbed for emergencies. I hope this disturbance is warranted.”
The warrior, Hinrick, made a fist and thumped it over his heart. “It is, sir. The king is waiting for you in the main cargo bay.”
Thorin kept his surprise from showing. “I wasn’t aware the king would visit us.”
Thorin was one of the few who knew the extent of King Kastor’s frailty and failing health. For him to board the ship meant he had something very important to discuss.
Hinrick answered, “He wanted it to be a surprise, but didn’t elaborate any further. If we’re to leave on schedule, your rest and meditation period must wait.”
Images of battle, with Thorin ripping out another male’s throat with his teeth, hit him. Followed shortly was the image of him still covered in blood and taking a female roughly from behind, glowing as he roared and branded her with his seed.
Only through a lifetime of practice did his eyes remain neutral, his runic markings a dark blue, and his cock soft.
For any full-blooded Kelderan, delaying a meditation session was not a big inconvenience. In Thorin’s case, without meditation, the images and urges would only increase in intensity until he found a female or sparred with a male and possibly killed him.
Not for the first time, Thorin wished he were like his brethren, who were all full-blooded Kelderans.
But he wasn’t. And if he wished to remain general of the ship, he had to dig deep to remain clearheaded.
Bit by bit Thorin packed away the images of battle and taking the faceless female. A second later, he answered, “The king must not be kept waiting.” He waved a hand. “Lead the way.”
As the warrior turned and strode in the direction of the main cargo bay, Thorin breathed in and out at a steady rhythm. He had worked his whole life to achieve the rank of general. He wasn’t about to ruin it all because of a missed meditation session, no matter how intense or life-like the images would become inside his head.
By the time they arrived at the main cargo bay doors, the pulsing need had dulled to a gentle throb and the markings littering his skin remained dark blue, the color of peace and contentment. Only a novice warrior would allow any other color to show and reveal his emotions.
The males standing at either side of the cargo bay doors pressed their thumbs to panels on the wall. On a regular ship, access was freely given to the cargo bay. However, on a colony ship, doing so would only invite trouble.
He quickly looked at the tiers of walkways above, lining the walls of the cavernous space. Almost every level was full of spectators. All the gawkers quickly started moving again once they recognized him.
Thorin searched the area until he found the king sitting in an intricately carved chair just outside his personal shuttle.
Since it wasn’t Thorin’s place to note the paleness of the king’s skin or circles under his eyes, he merely stopped in front of Keldera’s ruler and bowed. “Your majesty.”
Kastor’s voice filled the space. “Sorry for my intrusion, but I must speak with you in private. Come, let us talk inside the shuttle.”
Since the king possessed the most advanced and secure communications technology and could have easily used a view screen to contact Thorin, the topic must be something he didn’t want to risk anyone getting hold of.
Thorin stood up straight again and waited for the king to rise. An older Barren nurse helped the aged ruler to his feet and up the stairs of the shuttle. The king was doing a good job of hiding it, but Thorin spotted the occasional wince and heard the grunts of discomfort.
Rather than waste time thinking of how the king risked the monarchy by leaving his palace and possibly exposing his frail body, Thorin glanced to the female at the king’s side. Her graying dark hair, wrinkles, and sagging flesh denoted her as closer to his mother’s age and too old for him to consider using to placate his sexual urges. However, Thorin needed to find a Barren of his own to use on the journey; regular sex would lessen his chances at losing control. The trick would be in securing one who would acquiesce to his needs and demands. Mainly, she needed to be blindfolded and bound. Otherwise, she might be able to guess his true parentage with sight and touch, and he wouldn’t allow that.
As the king and Barren disappeared into the shuttle, Thorin took the last length of stairs two at a time until he reached the top. Once he was in one of the rooms with the king, the Barren left and shut the door.
Thorin bowed his head. “What is it you wish to speak about, your majesty?”
The king looked up from where he sat. “You’re aware of the antimonarchy faction’s cause gaining momentum on Keldera. I won’t insult your intelligence by asking if you do. However, despite the best screening efforts of both the military headquarters and the council’s security department, Keltor believes there’s at least one antimonarchy troublemaker aboard the colony ship. He doesn’t know who, or our security would take care of it.”
Keltor was the king’s eldest son and heir to the Kelderan throne.
Thorin nodded. “So you wish me to keep an eye out and discretely discover the sympathizer.”
“Yes. The colony on Jasvar is the future of Keldera. If dissent takes hold on Jasvar, the humans may banish our people and send everyone back. If that happens, the strains of overpopulation will only worsen with time, and no matter what my son or I do, repercussions on Keldera will be severe. The pro- and antimonarchy factions will only increase their efforts, and I wouldn’t rule out civil war.”
The importance of Thorin’s mission was more important than even he had anticipated. His failure would contribute to an eventual civil war.
“Who knows about this possibility, your majesty?” Thorin asked.
“Keltor, myself, and a handful of trusted officials. My younger son, Kason, vouched for your loyalty. I hope he wasn’t misled.”
“Of course not, your majesty. It is my duty to serve.”
The king studied Thorin, and he wondered if the monarch would bring up Thorin’s heritage. The only reason Thorin hadn’t been imprisoned as a teen for his Brevkan blood was because of the king’s favor and his repaying a debt to Thorin’s mother for protecting the king’s sister during an attack many years ago. To reward his mother’s heroic efforts, the king had created a fake birth certificate which reflected a Kelderan father for Thorin instead of his Brevkan one.
For the king to even consider Thorin for such an important task meant that Thorin’s former boss, Prince Kason, must have greatly praised his skills. Odd to think that considering he and Kason had never cared much for one another over the years.
Of course, Thorin’s role in saving the lives of Kason and his bride probably played into the praise.
Kastor spoke up again. “Very well. Be careful of who learns about this. If you tell the wrong person, you’ll be responsible for the ensuing trouble and will be dealt with accordingly.”
And in keeping with Kelderan law, Thorin would be tried as a traitor and most likely executed.
He bowed his head. “I will take this duty as seriously as my mission to deliver the colonists to Jasvar. My life is dedicated to serving you and the people of Keldera.”
“Good. And General Thorin, one last thing.”
“Anything, your majesty.”
“Once you arrive on Jasvar, ensure only the best warriors are assigned to watch over my children. If any antimonarchy sympathizers make it to Jasvar, Kason and Kalahn will become targets.”
Kalahn was the youngest royal child and the only female. Both were currently living on Jasvar with the humans.
Thorin stood tall. “Kason is a former general, but regardless, I’ll do my best to set up protection for him and Princess Kalahn.”
Kastor smiled faintly. “Thank you.”
Thorin tried not to blink. Kelderan royalty didn’t display gratitude often. The king must be in poorer health than Thorin had imagined to so easily reveal his emotions. It was probably why the king wore robes that covered his body from his neck to his feet, the material hid his rune-like markings and the changing colors of his emotions. Even the best warrior slowly lost control of the color of his markings as the decades passed. For a king to show anything but steadfastness would question his ability to lead.
And as treasonous as it may be to think so, Thorin wished King Kastor would hand over the throne to his eldest son, Keltor, sooner rather than later.
He was about to ask if there was anything else when images of ripping limbs off enemies and tossing the parts to the corner burst into his mind. Shortly after, different ones of him pleasuring two females—one with his tongue and the other with his cock—took center stage.
The images became more vivid with each passing second. If Thorin didn’t leave, he might burst into violence and jeopardize everything.
King Kastor’s voice severed his visions. “Go, Thorin. You must take care of yourself.”
The images in his mind faded slightly. After using every iota of strength he had to push them away and blank his mind, Thorin murmured, “Thank you, your majesty,” before bowing one last time and exiting the shuttle.
Being so close to breaking, Thorin dug his nails into his palms until the stinging pain helped him to focus. He barked at the lower downs who tried to approach him. Unlike a meeting with the king, Thorin’s second-in-command could handle just about any other issue that cropped up for the next ten minutes.
As soon as he entered his quarters, he went to the shower area. After undressing, he moved to the center of the area, and a spray automatically began.
Closing his eyes, Thorin begrudgingly allowed the images of him taking two females to flood his mind. He gripped his cock and allowed shame to flood his body as he gave in to his Brevkan urges and stroked. When the images flashed between battles of war and taking females—blood covering all involved in the encounter—Thorin increased the pace of his hand. As the females in his visions screamed his name and slashed his chest with knives to draw blood, he finally growled out his release.
After the last spasm racked his body, Thorin simply let the cleaning solution wash away his shame.
Although there wasn’t enough cleaning solution in the universe to wash away the disturbing images of blood and sex he’d endured over the years.
He punched the wall, barely noticing the sting in his knuckles. Not for the first time, he wished the wall was the face of his immoral father.
Thorin should be grateful that his mother had kept him and raised him with love.
But in that moment, he was unclean and a barbarian. All he wanted to do was erase his father’s life from his mother’s past. Then he would no longer exist to burden her.
Of course he couldn’t change the past. His mother’s memory was failing and she may no longer remember who he was, but he would prove to her until his dying day that his honorable Kelderan half was stronger. He would succeed in his mission at any cost, including the king’s most recent request.