RAVEN
Oona had a thick Afro and deep brown skin she didn’t need makeup to smooth. She was wildly efficient, painfully honest, and continually communicative.
“I wish I could turn my desk around,” she said, handing me a stack of printouts. Her setup kept her back toward my office. “I can’t look at him all day. I feel like I’m cheating on Brice.”
Through my windows, across the hall, and through Roman’s office windows, I could see over the city of Palo Alto all the way to the other side of the bay. But Oona had a point. That wasn’t the best view from where we were. The view at the moment was Roman looking out the window with one hand in his pocket and the other with his phone to his ear. The silhouette over the long view of the city was enough to make me press my knees together. One day the implementation would be done and I wouldn’t have to look at him any more or avoid him in the cafeteria. I wouldn’t have to look away whenever he made eye contact, or avoid laughing at one of his jokes in a meeting.
“You can turn it,” I said.
She tightened her lips and shook her head. “Company’s very strict on that.”
“Uniformity.”
“Yeah. But, hot damn.” She glanced across the hall, where Roman had gotten off the phone, and back to me. “Sorry, that’s not very professional.”
“I won’t write you up.” I smiled at her, but we weren’t supposed to talk like that about associates, no matter how gorgeous they were. “But if you’d be more comfortable moving your computer, you should.”
“Great idea.”
I flipped through the printout, but Oona stayed by my desk.
“Anything else?”
“Yeah, actually.” She lowered her voice. “Do you ever wonder why they put a white dude in charge of overseeing equal compensation?”
“He did arbitration on the Apex case.”
“Ah.”
“And he’s got a history with Burke.”
“Knock, knock.” The male voice was accompanied by quick-knuckled raps on my open door. It was Roman, eyes greener in the morning sun. It was really hard to breathe when he looked at me. “Raven, do you have a minute?”
He and I acted as though we hadn’t weaponized each other’s personal information. I pretended I never heard him ask me to have fun gaming and he acted as if he never said it. Not because I wished he hadn’t asked, but because the prospect of seeing him socially was so appealing. He was hard to talk to when my body kept reacting to the clear-as-air smell of his aftershave and the cut of his suit.
I avoided him. I didn’t want to lose this job doing with Roman what I’d done with Taylor. I wanted stock options and a pension.
But I had a minute and he and I were working together.
“Sure,” I said. Oona left.
He and I always met in conference rooms with teams present. But here he was, in my office, and there went Oona, out the door to her own desk. We were alone.
He sat in the chair across the desk, leaning back with his ankle on his knee. Ribbed socks. Sage green. Tan shoes. Gray suit.
It worked. He worked. He was put together like a masterpiece. Oona leaned into the room and started to close the glass door.
“You can leave it open,” I said. She nodded and went left down the hall to pick up more printouts.
Roman tilted his chin to the stack on my desk. “Funny how you still want paper in a digital company.”
“The digital reporting capsule hasn’t been uploaded,” I said, making it a specific point to not look at the way his hand curved around the edge of the armrest, or the way his watch peeked past his cuff, or the way his shirt stretched across his chest.
He nodded. “I wanted to talk about that.”
His eyes were on my face. Completely appropriate, but when he looked at me like that I felt naked.
I didn’t want this kind of energy at Neuronet. I’d dealt with enough of it in my first couple of weeks. On any normal day, from any normal man, I’d feel both violated and annoyed. But he was different. He didn’t repel me. He did the opposite, no matter how professional he was. I lost myself.
What was I wearing? I couldn’t remember.
“Reporting’s not in your plexus,” I said.
You’re wearing the burgundy skirt suit.
“Well, maybe.”
And the pink blouse…
“If you want to open up a node, I can get you the information management forms.”
…with the third button that pops open when you don’t want it to…
“Here’s my point,” he said, eyes in only the most appropriate places. “You’re new. I’m new. I have no idea how you work.”
…and the hot pink bra…
“Why is that important?”
…that scratches your nipples when they get hard.
“Process is everything.”
Don’t think about it.
“The software measures results.”
Do. Not. Think. About. It.
“We’re two ships passing in the night,” he said, and I imagined a pause after, but it might have been just my imagination. “Unless legal fully understands how results are tabulated and understood by management, we can’t offer an accurate recommendation.”
His gaze flicked lower for a brief second and my chest—which was hopefully under a fully buttoned shirt—tingled with prickly heat and the lace scratched where I was sensitive.
“We can set up a series of meetings,” I said, hoping I wouldn’t have to.
“If I sit in one more meeting, I’m going to throw my degree in the trash and join the circus.”
I laughed, forgetting my blouse for a second. He smiled when I did and for the first time, Roman Bianchi seemed approachable.
“Let’s just have a lunch in the cafeteria.” He took his ankle off his knee and leaned forward. “See how we start approaching this.”
The laughter had caught me off guard.
“Sure. How about Friday?”
He looked at his watch and leaned back, calling out the open door. “Oona?”
She appeared. “Yes?”
“Does Raven have anything on the calendar for lunch today?”
“Nope.”
“Great. Thank you.” He stood up as if it was all decided. “I have an eleven-thirty. Meet you at one by the Big Circuit.”
When he left, I very calmly put my hand to my chest. All my buttons were fastened. I laughed a little at myself. Silly, silly girl.
I had to work with him, and as the months went on, I was going to have to work more and more closely. My hard nipples and flushed skin were going to become problems.
I was giving Roman power over me. Yes, he was fine on the eyes. He dressed well and carried a power and confidence about him that turned me on. He wore his competence like a suit of armor.
The only way to break down my attraction was to make him human. I could do that. I’d done it before.
First step, get to know him and all his most unattractive traits. Knock him down a few pegs and he’d just become another coworker.
Yeah. I could do that.