At the end of the week, I visited the fertility clinic to have an AEPD test performed. AEPD stood for Advanced Early Pregnancy Detection. The technology for the AEPD test was not publicly available, mainly because the equipment took up an entire room. Having one such test taken was massively expensive because it took much of the guesswork out of having a baby. No longer did a person have to suffer in silence for a month, waiting for a time when a regular pregnancy test would be able to give an accurate answer — if they could afford it.

James insisted. He paid for it.

I provided a blood and urine sample for Dr. Jensen, and he ran the test. I sat in the empty waiting room, watching the clock to make sure I would be able to get home in time to meet Haley as she got off her school bus. I didn’t feel nervous. I didn’t feel ready. I didn’t really feel much of anything.

The result of my test came back negative.

I called James while heading home to let him know the news, and he said he would schedule another appointment. I received the details later that night, and met James at the clinic a few days later to go through the procedure again.

After another week, I had another test.

Negative again.

“I am going to make this happen,” James growled in my ear. The sensual roughness of his voice coming through the phone made me short of breath. I swallowed hard, placing my hand on my lap.

My fingers curled, pressing against the front of my jeans. My dick strained against the thick fabric, distracting me from my driving so much that I nearly missed my exit. Snatching at the wheel and slamming on my brakes, causing the cars behind me to hit theirs and beep indignantly, I managed to make the turn.

“Everything okay over there?” James asked.

The change in his tone startled me. He had gone from demanding and annoyed to concerned in the span of a single breath. This man with a quiet voice and worried words was not the James I knew.

Before I really had a chance to reply, James spoke again, switching back over to his usual commanding voice. “You better not let anything happen to you. I don’t have time to go off and find someone else to do this with. The competition is getting heavy.”

“I don’t care about your competition,” I said, feeling tired. Dealing with someone so overbearing all the time was really grating on my nerves. I used to think, during our past relationship, that I slept so well because I was safe, secure, and happy in our love. I knew better now. I’d slept that way because being around him required constant recovery.

Yet, right now, I thought I detected something significant in his voice. It was almost a faint edge, a sharp end to the words he said. I could almost believe that he meant things more sincerely than the way he said them.

“Well, I do,” James said. “And that’s why we’re going to try this again. Third try is the charm. I’ll get back to you with the details.”

I received a text from him not half an hour later, stating that the appointment was the next day in the afternoon. I sighed, rubbing my face with my hand. It felt like this would never end, and maybe it never would.

If we managed to conceive a child, James would most likely want to keep it so he could remind his doubters and enemies that he had won this contest, this race, fair and square. The baby would be broadcast all over the news, subject to the opinions of the masses. It would never know privacy, or fairness.

I’d watch the baby grow up through a screen, living its life without me. And I knew I would watch, because you didn’t give birth to someone without loving them, no matter what.

Speaking of things I loved no matter what, Haley got off at the bus stop right in front of our house and ran up the driveway. Her robot dog, who had finally responded to his name, was tucked under one arm, while her backpack was slung over the opposite shoulder. She banged the front door open, tossed her backpack to the floor, and scampered to me.

“Daddy!”

“Hey!” I grabbed her up into my arms, the same way Alexander used to, and kissed her cheek. She squirmed and wriggled, so I put her down again. Message received. I could not replace what her other father used to give her. “How was Show and Tell with Ruffy?”

“His name is Scruffy, Dad.” Haley gave me one of those looks that little girls can do so well, the type that make you feel like you’re the dumbest chump to walk the earth. She placed Scruffy down in the middle of the living room floor, then headed off in the direction of the kitchen. I followed after her, watching her go through her usual routine of fetching exactly four cookies and a glass of milk.

When she was seated at the table, I sat down beside her and looked at her, waiting. She blinked up at me, crumbs on the tip of her nose. “What?”

“Show and Tell?” I prompted.

“Oh, yeah! You should have seen it!”

I tried to listen attentively as Haley gave me a dramatic play by play of the entire Show and Tell process, including the coolest and dumbest items other kids had brought. I kept losing focus, distracted by thoughts of James.

We’d dated in college. Well, I was in college. He was just there for the ride, filling some time with an activity that put him close to other people he could impress just by being himself. I didn’t like him much for the first several months. He seemed kind of like a douchebag, the kind of guy who threw money around just because he could.

Then, it happened.

I was doing the best in a chemistry class and James was doing the worst. The professor thought it might be beneficial for him if he paired us up for a lab assignment.

Closing my eyes, I could still remember the way James walked in, that day the lab started. He was on time for once. His powerful brown eyes bored into me from across the room, growing in intensity as he approached.

“Hey,” he had said. “I’m going to be pretty useless at this, but I can provide some comic relief.”

That was when I fell for him, when he spent the entire class doing silly things and making terrible jokes. I laughed despite myself, because I had only viewed him as a troublemaker before, not a goofball.

“Dad! Did you fall asleep?”

I focused on Haley again, opening my eyes. “No way, princess. I can see through my eyelids. Didn’t I ever tell you that?”

Haley scowled at me, but went on with her story. She looked so, so much like Alexander when she pulled that face.

Alexander. My bounceback, my rebound lover after James ended up breaking my heart. Only, Alexander had wound up being so much more.

He was amazing in all the ways James was not. Thoughtful, gentle, smart, kind, charitable. For our first date, we went to a park for a picnic and wound up staying there so long that the workers closed the gates on us. We had had to climb over the fence to leave.

Alexander had picked me up to hoist me over and his treatment of me, so cautious, and his strong hands, so gentle, had guaranteed a second date. And a third, where we had sex for the first time. We had never looked back, never questioned our fast connection because it all felt so right.

I thought I would die of happiness the day he asked me to marry him. Then I thought I would float away when I discovered I was pregnant with his baby.

I thought we were soulmates and would last forever.

That was why I was having such a hard time with this, despite the money I stood to gain when all of this was over. My feelings for James had long since been pushed aside, and there had been long periods of time in the past when I didn’t think of him. I couldn’t even really remember why I’d fallen for him, except that I’d thought he was different from how he seemed — only to realize it was a different side of the same coin.

I had wanted a baby with Alexander.

With James, this was a business deal. It didn’t mean anything. He didn’t mean anything to me, not anymore.

This wasn’t any way to have a kid. I would have called it off, should have called it off, if not for the fact that my daughter was sitting here in front of me, smiling and laughing for the first time in ages.

It was because of her that I went to the third artificial insemination appointment. And it was because of her that I hoped against hope that I would be pregnant when I went back to the clinic with James at the end of that week.

I sat with James in our usual room at the very back of the hallway, my hands clasped together. He leaned his hip on the exam table, studying me. The attention was driving me crazy, in more ways than one.

Just as I was about to snap at him and tell him to look at something else, the door to the room opened and the doctor stepped inside. He held a piece of paper in hand: the results of my test.

I looked up into the doctor’s face and my heart sank. I had seen this look before two other times. “I’m not pregnant, am I?” I said.

James looked at me sharply, then whipped his head around to glare at the doctor. “Is that true?” he demanded.

Dr. Jensen nodded. He handed the paper to James, tapping his finger against a section at the very bottom. Even from where I sat, I saw the word “negative” written in big, fat, bold capital letters. “I’m very sorry,” he said. “Everything I’ve seen regarding the two of you tells me that we should have had a positive by now.”

“Then why isn’t there one?”

“James,” I said, softly. I didn’t know what good it would do. The man couldn’t stand to be reprimanded.

James glanced at me, then sat down on the exam table and said nothing else.

He listened to me?

Dr. Jensen took the paper back and folded it neatly, creating a seam which was so crisp it could have been made by a machine. “From a professional standpoint, I’m inclined to tell you that I believe this method isn’t going to work for you. It just isn’t in the body’s best interest to have a natural process be interfered with, sometimes.” He shrugged. “A machine isn’t always the best person for the job. Why don’t you two go back to trying the old fashioned way?”

James broke out in a wide grin, giving me a very pointed look. I blushed and turned my head away, finding it difficult to breathe. Some part of me was extremely excited by the idea, dying to feel his body on mine again.

The rest of me had no words for what I felt. I couldn’t say anything without revealing that we weren’t actually in a relationship.

I bit my lip.

Dr. Jensen let out a small laugh. “You’re acting like I told you to do it with a crocodile! You have one child already. You stand a good chance of having another, don’t you? And there’s nothing that says you can’t try this again if necessary.”

We had one child already?

I opened my mouth to protest, stopping only because James made a swift coughing sound. Clamping my mouth shut, I bit my lip again much harder than before.

How dare he just sit there and say nothing? Haley was mine. My daughter. She did not belong to James, and she never ever would!

I didn’t know how I managed to get through the rest of the meeting. My blood boiled in my veins; I was seeing red. James reached for me as we walked down the hallway together. “Reid…”

I broke away from him and shoved open the door to the waiting room. “Haley!” I barked.

Haley jumped off one of the couches and ran up to me. I grabbed her hand, careful not to hurt her even now when I was so mad I was finding it difficult to breathe. “Daddy?” she said, sounding uncertain.

“We’re leaving.”

Turning my back on James as he finally came through the doors, I hurried Haley outside and urged her in the direction of my car. I gritted my teeth, my shoulders squaring. That egotistical, inconsiderate asshole, thinking that even my daughter belonged to him!

“Look!” someone shouted.

The cry disturbed the peace of the hour, rocketing off into the dark blue sky. Jerking to a halt, I stared around me to try and find out where the sound had come from.

I didn’t have to look very hard. In my anger, I hadn’t noticed that the parking lot had filled up during the time I’d been inside the clinic with James. Many of the spots were occupied by white vans and black cars with satellite dishes and other equipment on top.

None of them were actually parked inside the lines, leading to a frenzied jumble as people started shoving car doors open, pouring out onto the pavement. Some of the people wore shirts and vests with the names of news outlets printed on them, and everyone was carrying cameras and microphones and other recording devices.

“It’s James’s boyfriend!”

“Excuse me!” a burly black man shouted, shoving his way to the front of the crowd. The others came behind him, pushing at his back, trying to be the first to get around him. “Excuse me, what’s your name?”

Lights flashed in my eyes, blinding me. I pulled Haley closer to my side, my arm around her shoulders. “I…”

“How long have you and James Cobb been dating?”

“What are your opinions on the race to claim the throne?”

“What are you doing inside a fertility clinic?”

“Over here! Hey, over here! Boy or girl? Which do you want?”

I couldn’t think through the onslaught of voices. Grabbing Haley, I tried to back up, but now the crowd of paparazzi had come around behind us, trapping us.

“Daddy!” Haley said, sounding alarmed.

Of course, what she said sent everyone off into a new frenzy. Had that little girl just called me Daddy? Was she adopted? Was I fertile? Was James going to adopt her? Would…? Could…? Did I…?

Someone touched my shoulder and I spun around, dragging Haley with me, throwing my free arm out in the direction of the assailant.

James grabbed my hand and clasped my fingers tightly between his. He leaned his head in very close to mine, much to the euphoric delight of the press. I tasted his sweet breath as he whispered to my lips, “My car is in the back two rows over. On a count of three, run.”

James counted to three, then bolted in the direction of his car. His fingers slid away from mine.

There was no time at all to think about anything. I could either trust him, or I could let myself and my daughter be trampled.

I chose the former. Snatching Haley up under my arm like a football, I raced after James and threw myself into the front seat of his car. He was already behind the steering wheel, slamming his key into the ignition. The electric engine hummed as it came to life, and I managed to shut my door just as he stepped on the gas and zipped out of the parking lot.

“Are we going to be on the news?” Haley cried out. She bounced around excitedly in my lap while I fumbled with the seatbelt, pulling it over both of our laps.

“Yes, we probably are going to be on the news,” James said, laughing. His expression was wild, his hair sticking up and out to the sides from his mad dash for his car. Finding myself wanting to smooth his hair, I curled my hands into fists and held back as best as I could. Adrenaline was surging through my veins, catching my thoughts in its grasp and whipping them around and around like they were caught in a tornado.

“Great,” I groaned. I let my head flop back against the headrest. Stronger words than that rose to my lips, but I wouldn’t let them fall in front of Haley.

“It’s not that bad,” James murmured. His driving had slowed down, though he was making all sorts of weird twists and turns down the streets in an attempt to shake the reporters. “That was pretty tame compared to some of what I’ve seen.” He glanced over at me out of the corner of his eye. I glared at him.

Then, I stopped.

His gaze held an apology, and now his lips were echoing the sentiment. “I’m sorry I got you all caught up in this.”

When he looked at me like that, I felt my heart give a twinge. I shook my head, reaching over to touch his arm. “You didn’t do it.”

“Well, in a way, I did. Because of who I am, and all that. It can’t be helped.”

This was the first time I had ever heard him take responsibility for anything, much less himself. Somewhere in the past couple of days, he had found a conscience.

“The media rottweilers are going to be worked up for a bit now,” James said. “I’m going to take you both to the palace where I live. We’ll spend some time there, let it all die down. If that’s okay with you?”

“You live at the palace?” Haley gawked at James.

James grinned at her. “I do. The Queen is my grandmother!”

Haley spun around in my lap, making me wince. “Daddy! We have to go to the palace! No one I know has ever been in the palace except for Eddy, and that was just the museum. Please!” She elongated the please, turning it into a whine.

Covering my ears dramatically, I gave in. Anything for her.

No. That was a bit of a lie. I would blame it on the adrenaline still racing through me, but I kind of wanted to see where this would go.

I wasn’t mad at James, either. I didn’t like that he hadn’t bothered to correct the doctor about who Haley belonged to; however, I could understand now why he had kept silent. This was the second time I’d seen the paparazzi go absolutely insane over James. Because he had royal blood, everything around him was blown out of proportion. It was best not to have said anything extra, and he knew that.

This time, I had been the one in the wrong.

Maybe this wasn’t the first time, either.

How much of the way James acted was because of the family he was born into? I’d been judging him based on my life, not his.

I thought about that long and hard during the remainder of the drive, mulling over the unavoidable truth while giving half an ear to the conversation James and Haley were having. She had questions and he was answering them with ready enthusiasm.

He was also looking over at me, again and again, whenever he thought I wouldn’t notice.

Everyone knew about the four palaces of Amalienborg and what they looked like. I’d been in one of those palaces myself when I was much younger, visiting the same museum as Haley’s classmate. So many years had gone by since then that I felt like I was seeing everything for the first time.

The statues, the palaces, the garden and the enormous black gates were all larger than life. Servants and guards greeted us with respect as we passed, since we were obviously guests of one of the potential heirs. It was all a bit much, and I felt dizzy, over my limit. Far too many things had happened already today.

Haley ate up the attention, waving at everyone she saw like she was a little princess.

Well, she was. My princess.

The interior of the Brockdorff palace where James lived reminded me of a cavern. The ceiling swooped up and up and up, held aloft by carved walls covered in beautiful depictions of historical scenes. Several tall, winding staircases led away from the main entrance halls, and I could see at least twenty doors from where we stood.

A young man with glasses strode up to James. I recognized him as the handsy man who had met James when he left the clinic after the very first insemination. “Sir,” the man said. His eyes flicked around, taking the three of us in. “Sir?”

James looked over at me. “This is Dickon, my assistant.”

“Nice to meet you, Dickon,” I said, even though I didn’t really mean it. The looks Dickon gave me reminded me of a wary animal guarding the entrance to a den, like he couldn’t stand having me be here.

Dickon nodded to me, then looked back at James as if I hadn’t said anything.

There’s something going on here, I thought.

James seemed unaware of whatever it was, continuing to give me his full attention. “I thought of something I wanted to talk to you about,” he said, his voice soft and full of a meaning I didn’t quite pick up on. Worry prickled at the nape of my neck, needling me.

“If it’s okay with you, Dickon can take Haley to meet some of the other children. They can have ice cream.”

“There are other kids here?” Haley’s mouth fell open. She hadn’t stopped looking around since we’d set foot on the grounds. I could almost smell the smoke pouring from her ears as her overloaded child’s brain struggled to comprehend everything coming at her.

“Oh, sure,” James replied. “We’ve got a playroom where guards and guests can send their children. Almost like a daycare. Some of my much younger cousins will even be there.”

Haley looked at me, and I knew I had no choice. Not only did I want to give her this chance to have fun, I was also dying to know what James wanted to talk to me about. Whether it would be good or bad, I didn’t know, and I couldn’t decide which I’d prefer.

“Go on,” I said, releasing her hand. “But you have to mind your manners and play nice.”

“I promise!” she said, and raced off down a random hallway. Dickon let out a startled yell and broke into a run to pursue her.

I looked at James. “She’s going to eat those spoiled rich kids alive.”

James laughed and touched my hand. His fingers curled against mine before he seemed to get ahold of himself and pulled away. The urge to grab his hand and hold it thrummed through me, nearly knocking me off my feet. “Come with me, Reid. I really do need to talk to you about something.”

He led me through a long series of hallways, the walls of which were covered in a variety of paintings and expensive tapestries. I held my breath, afraid to let it out in case my exhalation destroyed something valuable.

We ended up in a large, darkly furnished room with a simple layout. Bookshelves filled with thick, heavy tomes lined the walls, surrounding a polished conference table. A series of minimalist chandeliers provided warm, ample lighting.

James shut the door behind us. “You seem surprised.”

“This isn’t exactly what I was expecting to find in a palace,” I admitted. “This looks like a lawyer’s idea of heaven.”

“Good guess. This is where legal counsel is often held for certain members of the family.”

Approaching the table, James sat down in one of the plush black chairs. I followed suit, sinking into the soft material.

“Much of the palace used to be of rococo design,” he went on, “but so many people have stayed here since its construction. The interior changes to match the demands of the inhabitants. The other three palaces look much more like their original selves.”

I couldn’t focus what he was saying about the decorations, as interesting as it was. I’d heard the phrase “legal counsel” and that was the only thing on my mind. Possibilities raced through my thoughts as to why James had brought me here, and none of them were good. I tensed up, gripping the edge of the table tightly.

James looked around. His eyes were cast in shadow by his lowered eyelids, his expression unreadable. “There are files in here containing pertinent contracts and paperwork, present and past. Our contract is in here, too. It would be only a moment’s work to find it and destroy it.”

What?

All my expectations were knocked out from beneath my feet. I stared at James, my mouth slightly open. “What?” was all I could manage to say.

“Our contract.” He smiled without much amusement. “Surely you haven’t forgotten about it?”

“I haven’t! God, how could I? But I don’t understand what you mean.”

Leaning closer to him, I held onto the table even harder than before. I must have done something truly wrong for him to be saying this. My future, Haley’s future, was slipping uncontrollably through my fingers like so many grains of sand. No matter how I tried to hold something back, I couldn’t.

“Reid.” James put his hand over mine, tugging my fingers into his grasp. I clutched at him, unable to stop myself. “Let me explain then, before you work yourself up like that.”

“Okay.” I tried to calm down, pulling in a deep breath and holding it until my lungs hurt.

“When I saw the press swarm you, I…” James shook his head. “I did some panicking of my own. I knew you weren’t in any real danger, but at the same time, I was afraid for you. And for Haley. If something had happened to you, it would have been all my fault.”

“James, you couldn’t have known they were out there. If I hadn’t overreacted and stormed out like that…” I kept holding his hand, because it felt good and right to have his fingers wrapped around mine, so strong and gentle. “It’s my fault, too.”

“No way.” He lowered his voice, almost a growl, causing something deep inside my stomach to stir around. “The blame is mine and mine alone.

“I took advantage of you. I put you in danger. And that’s why I’m giving you the chance to take our contract and rip it to shreds. I’ll let you keep the first payment, and I’ll give you the next one too, if you want it. I can’t endanger you anymore.”

This was not the James who had foolishly broken promises and taken my heart for granted. Neither was this the James who seemed to revel in the spotlight. This was a different person, one I wasn’t sure I’d ever had the honor of meeting before.

“If you let me do that, you’d put yourself behind in the race,” I said. It might not matter so much to me, but it sure as hell mattered to him. “Are you really willing to risk that?”

James looked at me. His eyes glowed as if lit from within, shades of caramel and cinnamon caught in their depths. His expression was very soft as he moved his other hand to my face and touched my cheek. I caught my breath, afraid that the mere act would break the magic of this moment.

“I would prefer to do this with you, as someone I know. But I’m sure if I got behind, I could make up the difference somehow.”

He was being so restrained, but it was obvious that he didn’t want me to do this. He didn’t want me to tear up the contract.

Looking into his eyes, I tried to figure out what it was that I wanted. The money, yes. I wanted a safe future for my daughter. What else could a guy possibly want?

If I was honest with myself, there were more things I wanted. I had only to think of what happened to me when James touched me to know that. His fingers on mine caused a fire to start inside me, burning in my blood. I ached for contact, to feel a man’s body against mine. There was no one I would rather have than him.

“There’s no one I’d rather do this with, either,” I whispered, knowing it to be true.

James’s eyes widened, then he closed his eyes and tilted his face up to the ceiling like he was giving thanks for a miracle. “Is that true? Are you sure?”

I’m sure. Now that I’ve admitted it, there’s no denying the way I feel.

“This doesn’t mean that I want more than that,” I said. “I can’t really think beyond this. Does that make sense?”

He nodded, sliding his hand around to the back of my head. I held his arm for a moment, then let my hand drop down to his knee. His leg tensed up and I felt the lines of his muscles underneath his slacks.

“Reid, you always made sense. Always. You’ve always had your head on straight. I never did. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t able to see how much of a fool I was being, back in college.”

“I was a fool, too,” I admitted. “Thinking that I could change you.”

“Maybe you did,” James murmured. “And I was the idiot who didn’t see it.”

If he was the idiot back then, then I was the idiot now. Something had occurred to me that made my overreaction before seem truly childish. Sure, Haley wasn’t James’s child now, but she would have been, had I stayed with him.

The past could have been different.

And the future could be, too.

I grabbed James’s hand and stood up, tugging at him to get him to come with me. He stumbled to his feet, a puzzled look on his face. “Where are we going?”

“You’re going to show me around the palace,” I said.

“Do you want to get Haley?”

“Maybe eventually, but right now I’m tired, and I want to relax. Some walking and sightseeing should help clear my mind.”

James gave me a look, as if he couldn’t decide whether or not I was being truthful. He shrugged and gestured to the door. “Then I’ll give you the tour.”

I followed James around the massive palace while he went around and pointed out various wings and features, including guest rooms, dining halls, a kitchen the size of my home, and a theater.

“You weren’t kidding when you said there’s not much of the original decorations left here,” I said, looking around a parlor that resembled a modern bar. A passing servant entered from the other side and stepped behind the counter, in front of a display of all sorts of alcohols and liquors. “I feel like I’m in a hotel.”

“You’re not wrong,” James said. He moved over to the counter. “Scotch,” he said to the servant, then looked back at me. “Not a lot of us really live here year round. It’s more of a place where everyone is coming and going all the time, exactly like a hotel. Scotch?”

I accepted the glass of amber liquid, watching him sip at his own drink. His eyes half closed as he savored the taste, a bedroom look that made my stomach tighten with want. He looked up at me and I took a drink. It was very good scotch, but I hardly tasted it because I was so focused on James.

“If you really pay attention, though, you can find all sorts of relics from the past,” James said.

“Really?”

“Of course. I’ll show you, if you like?”

I wanted to get back to Haley eventually, but that desire was dulled by the alcohol and the memory of what James had said to me. “Sure,” I said. “Let’s go.”

James took his drink with him and so I took mine, falling in step at his side. His hip occasionally brushed against mine, causing effervescent bubbles of delight to shiver through my body.

He pointed at a bust placed against the wall, which had a plaque saying it was a representation of the founder of Amalienborg. James had facts about the founder and I listened, though they went in and out of my brain without stopping. I only listened to the sound of his voice, only watched his lips as they moved.

Was I drunk from a single glass of scotch, or was I inebriated by something else?

Once I knew what to look for, I discovered many other busts and statues hidden in plain sight. People and animals of note, mainly horses. Grand paintings and tapestries hung on the walls, their presence camouflaged by chrome features and expensive contemporary furniture.

James knew so much about everything, so much more than I would have assumed. His sudden intelligence was alluring, and I found myself standing closer to him.

Then we reached his personal area of the palace. James looked at me, his gaze meaningful. “I have something else to show you, if you like.”

“Your bedroom,” I guessed.

“Only if you’re interested.”

I was very much interested. He had cast some sort of spell over me, first with his sudden concern for my wellbeing, and then again with his knowledge of his home. I was buzzed, feeling a little loose, on edge, as if walking some line I normally never crossed.

The only thing holding me back was Alexander. You couldn’t cheat on a dead man, but my thoughts belonged to him.

But, right now, in this moment, my body wanted to belong to James.

“I want to see,” I said. Something inside me trembled, as if with finality.

He didn’t need to be told a second time, leading me to his room. I let myself start to get excited, hope and desire rising to mingle inside me. Nothing mattered right now. Nothing except him, and the way he made me feel.