Somehow, I found myself sleeping overnight with James again. We planned for it this time, which allowed me to pack and bring bags for myself and Haley. I couldn’t help but feel a sort of finality while doing that, almost like I wouldn’t be returning home again. Almost like my heart had decided for me that I'd found a new home.

That feeling was confirmed for me when I woke up the next morning in James’s bed. Awareness came to me slowly, peacefully. The room was dark and quiet, the silence disturbed only by the deep ticking of an old fashioned clock, and James’s steady breathing. His body was wrapped around mine, his cock pushing against the small of my back. He moved slightly in his sleep, hips rocking in a very familiar motion.

Smiling to myself, I rolled over in his arms so his cock could rub on my thigh. I pressed my lips to his, kissing him softly, then deeper. His lips yielded beneath mine, and I slid my tongue into his mouth.

His eyes fluttered open. Surprise flashed in his intense eyes, a burst of lightning in a storm, and he kissed me back like he’d never been kissed before. Our mouths melded together, our bodies tangling under the sheets.

“I was having the best dream,” James whispered.

Wrapping my hand around his cock, I said, “I could tell.”

After a few strokes on his tumultuous member, he started panting and quivering. His body strained urgently against mine. His kisses came faster, landing with ferocity on my lips. “Even awake,” he murmured. “Even awake, I’m dreaming still. You’re just that good.”

“I can make it even better.”

Rolling over, I pushed James onto his back and straddled him in the same motion. In this position, his cock stood straight up against my ass, pushing between my cheeks. He held my hips and arched underneath me. “Fuck, Reid!”

Placing my hands on his chest, I leaned over and kissed his lips one last time. As I kissed him, I grabbed the lube from that shelf of his and popped the cap open. With trembling, anticipatory fingers, I covered his shaft with lube, and then tossed the bottle aside.

“Own me,” James growled. He lifted my hips up, positioning my ready opening over the tip of his cock. “Ride me. Fuck me!”

Only too eager to obey whatever he asked of me, I lowered myself onto his cock. He pierced me, like a warrior with a spear, and lifted his hips to drive himself deeper inside me.

Throwing my head back, gasping, I planted my hands on his chest and started to ride him. It was a different sensation from being fucked by him in a standard position, his cock filling me in new ways, stretching me, hitting against different places. Letting his rhythm guide me, I soon found my pace.

Grinding my hips, rocking against him, I slid my hands from his chest and grabbed his, pushing them to the mattress. “Let me do it,” I gasped out.

James grinned, looking so absolutely handsome that a network of tingles spread through me, racing through my veins. Within seconds, my orgasm swelled from that deep place inside me and I rode him faster, harder. Cries rose from my throat, and he echoed them, his head thrown back to gaze at the ceiling, though I doubted he was seeing anything real. He was probably as lost in his visions of lust as I was.

Suddenly, without warning, his hips pumped up a final time, nearly throwing me off him from the force. The burning heat of his cum filled me, causing my muscles to tighten around him. The tension caused my pleasure to intensify and then I was coming, shaking on top of him, unable to hear the shouts of ecstasy I knew were bursting from my lungs.

I collapsed on top of him, my cheek resting on the scruffiness of his chest hair. I focused on the sensation, the tickle of the coarse hairs. The rest of the world was beyond my knowing as I trembled from the aftershocks of our sex.

Strong, capable arms wrapped around my back, embracing me, holding me in place. I closed my eyes, relaxing into him. I felt at peace inside, even more than I had when I first woke up. That I still had the power to inspire such feelings as this in another man was amazing to me.

“Just as I thought,” James whispered. “You were amazing.”

“Next time we do it, I need you to do all the work. It’s only fair.”

James slid his fingers up into my hair, caressing the back of my head. “You don’t need to tell me twice. I’ll always jump at the chance to do something like this with you.”

My heart gave a fierce ache at his words, because Alexander had said much the same thing to me. Alexander hadn’t been as sexually adventurous as James — we hardly deviated from the tried and true doggystyle position — but he had been so eager to please, so ready and willing, that I hadn’t minded.

I missed him so much.

Being in James’s arms no longer felt as good as it had, and I pushed away from him and sat up. My eyes watered, my sinuses becoming heavy in the way they did when tears were about to come.

I had promised to love Alexander forever. I would never, ever stop. So what was I doing here in the arms of my ex, sleeping with him in the hopes of getting money?

I’m doing this for Haley. It’s what he would have wanted. Our daughter should be happy.

As far as my own happiness, I just didn’t know where the limits were.

Sitting up beside me, James stroked my shoulder. “Are you ready for breakfast?”

I stopped myself a moment before snapping at him. He wasn’t being dense. Instead, he was letting me decide if I wanted to bring up my private thoughts with him.

Not now, I decided. I was too uncertain of everything. “Yes,” I said. “I am.”

We were too late arriving to breakfast to prevent Haley from eating her body weight in sugar. As before, I decided to let it go. She was happy here, surrounded by good friends and a good atmosphere. It was best to let her enjoy it, instead of limiting her.

Breakfast itself was more of a relaxed affair this time, much to my relief. People came in as they pleased, and some of them just carried their breakfast away again. Others sat at the grand table, talking on rich people subjects amongst themselves. Since I didn’t really have much to say about any of the topics, I kept my mouth filled with my breakfast, and just nodded and shook my head when the occasion called for it.

Then, that woman appeared. The dreadful Lesandra. I had no idea how someone could be so beautiful, yet so very ugly. Her blonde hair and sky blue eyes could do nothing to save her when her face was so often twisted in a sneer, and bitter words fell from her lips.

As per usual, that sneer and those bitter words were aimed at James. “You’re still going at it?” she asked, sitting down right across from James. “Haven’t you admitted it’s hopeless by now?”

“Haven’t you?” James replied. He gave a sweet smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Your fuck parade hasn’t gotten you anywhere.”

“At least I don’t scream loud enough to wake the entire palace,” Lesandra said. “It’s rather impolite.”

I checked to see where Haley was, not wanting her to hear any of this. She sat at the children’s table, talking animatedly with another little girl.

“It concerns me that you don’t seem to be enjoying yourself.” James tilted his head. “Are they going in the right hole? None of the men you’ve chosen seem to be that smart.”

“At least I have more options than going back to my ex.” Lesandra sniffed, tossing her head.

I’d had enough of this. Even if this wasn’t my battle to fight, I wasn’t going to sit by and let her continue to insult both of us. “I don’t think it speaks well of you that no one will come back to you a second time. At least James is a decent person.”

Lesandra stared at me, her eyes widening, then narrowing as she got over her moment of initial shock. “You’re going to regret saying that to me, peasant.”

I placed my hand on James’s arm. “This peasant might someday outrank you. So think about that.”

Lesandra sputtered, half formed words bursting from between her lips in choked intervals. Her shoulders shook and high, bright spots of color rose to her cheeks. Sneering, she shoved up from the table and stormed away. A servant rushed in to pick up the chair she’d knocked over, giving both James and me an apologetic glance.

I sagged back in my chair, almost collapsing against James. “That,” I said, “was the most nerve wracking thing I’ve ever done.”

James slung his arm around my shoulders and pulled me even closer to his body. His warmth helped to steady me, slowing my rapid heartbeat. He kissed my temple, the perfume of coffee on his breath. “You did amazing,” he purred. “Especially for a newcomer.”

“Newcomer?” I frowned at him.

“Lesandra and I argue like that all the time. It’s more fun than spitting straight insults at each other.” James shrugged. “I think it’s the closest she can come to having fun. I doubt she’d admit that she likes doing it, though.”

“She didn’t look like she was having fun to me.”

“With her, you can never tell. I did tell you before that she has these rare moments when she’s a joy to be around. Usually, it’s in the aftermath of one of our insult sessions.”

“I really find that hard to believe.”

James shrugged.”No one can be mean all the time, especially when they’re having fun.” He picked up his coffee cup again, bringing the rim to his lips. Even though we’d only just had sex, desire stirred low and deep in my stomach. “Although I guess things are more serious this time. We aren’t butting heads over a dessert, here.”

“I could be your dessert,” I suggested. “If that’s what you’re missing.”

The look James gave me told me he approved of that idea. The glow of desire inside me burned brighter, hotter. I would have done anything he asked of me in that moment, even if it meant we fucked like bunnies in the middle of the breakfast table.

I was too excited to finish the rest of my breakfast, so I got up to make sure Haley was okay. When she hugged me, I could have sworn she had grown about twice as strong as she was before. It was amazing what a few good days could do for a child’s hope.

“Daddy, I’m done with breakfast. Can I go play in the garden with everyone else?”

“You can…”

Before I could finish correcting her about the usage of “can I” versus “may I,” she had already released me and was running off after a pack of her friends. I shook my head, holding one hand on my hip. What was a father to do?

At least she would be occupied while James and I tended to that business of ours.

I came back to him and reached for his hand, tugging on him to try and pull him out of his seat. “Come on,” I urged.

“My dessert has arrived,” James purred. He pulled hard on my arm, causing me to lose my balance and fall into his lap. Grabbing me and spinning me around, he leaned me back and pressed his lips hard to mine. His tongue thrust into my mouth, taking me, and I gladly gave in. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back, a dance of mouths and tongues, until we both had to pull away to breathe.

I only vaguely heard the faint applause as a few nearby members of the court watched our performance. I had eyes only for James.

Still holding his arms around me, James stood up. I found myself held against his chest, like a bride about to be carried over the threshold. Laughing, I held onto his shoulders and kissed his neck everywhere I could reach.

“I have to excuse myself to take care of some business,” James purred to our audience. There were whistles and more applause, and a single contemptuous snarl. Lesandra was still in the room then, hanging back, watching us. Let her watch. Maybe she would realize that even if James and I didn’t get the throne, we would still win.

James and I.

And I.

For the first time, I had thought of the future and it came so naturally. I wanted to stay with him, no matter what came our way. The enormity of that decision frightened me, so I just focused on kissing and caressing James as he carried me back to his room.

Kicking the door shut behind him, James took us over to the bed. He placed me on my back, acting like I was a delicate piece of pottery, and crawled up over me to kiss me so sweetly and gently I could have cried.

Instead of crying, I kissed him back, closing my eyes to really savor it.

When the kiss had been going on for nearly an eternity, James pulled his lips from mine. He placed his mouth back on my neck and kissed me there, light and ticklish, making me squirm around. He danced his kisses lower, to my collarbone, pulling my shirt down to do it. His fingers traced delicate paths on my skin, tingles following in their wake.

I trembled under him, grabbing his ass to demand more attention

Chuckling, James reached back and removed my hands, placing them on the mattress on either side of him. “So impatient,” he growled, raspy and sensual. “You’d think the destination is the only thing that matters to you. What about the journey there?”

“Don’t talk to me like you think you can confuse me,” I panted. “I know what I want. And what I want is you!”

Alexander…

My moment of doubt couldn’t stand up to what James did next; it was blown away like dust in the wind.

“And you can have me,” he said. “But I want to taste you, first.”

Before I could ask what he meant, he had tugged my shirt off and was all over my chest, kissing and caressing. My nipples went hard from his attention, teased again and again by his tongue. I gave in and played with his hair, my fingers trembling as he raised a fire inside me. I was kindling, and he was flint striking stone, casting showers of sparks on me with every movement, every touch.

His delicate kisses and caresses were making me so horny I couldn’t think. My body started to move of its own accord, wriggling and squirming, straining to get more of myself again him. His cock was a hard bulge resting contentedly on my thigh, while mine was needy, pulsing, begging for attention.

Ever so gradually, to the point where I almost wasn’t aware of it happening, James went from my chest, to my stomach, and down even lower. He tugged my pants away, allowing my dick to stand tall and free. His mouth descended upon me, lavishing more affectionate kisses up the length of my shaft.

“James!” I pleaded, clutching at handfuls of his hair. I raked my nails down his back, too excited and ready to be able to bear this kind of attention for long.

James ignored me, kissing and licking my dick, teasing me. He never picked up his pace, never hurried, never urged me on to orgasm even though I was desperate for one by this point. I started shaking, shuddering like a flame in the wind. Heat was consuming me. I couldn’t last much longer.

Filled with need and longing, I cried out and felt myself start to come, no matter how hard I tried to hold back.

Sensing that I had reached my absolute limit, James lifted his mouth up from my cock and pounced on me. His mouth crashed down upon mine, delivering ferocious kisses one after the other, stealing my breath even as I yelled out for him again.

The tip of his cock found my opening and pushed inside, gliding deeper and deeper. I was so loose and ready, my ass pouting and needy, that he entered me without much difficulty. The friction was glorious, rubbing me in all the right places, and I came harder than ever before in my entire time.

I had no idea what I was, where I was, or what was going on. All I knew was the delicious, fiery rapture of my orgasm surrounding me. I was engulfed in flame, made of flame. I was pleasure, and nothing else.

I had no idea how long it took for my orgasm to wear itself out, from beginning to end. Awareness filtered back in to me so slowly that someone could have told me I’d been asleep for a thousand years and I would have believed them. In fact, the feeling inside me wasn’t all that dissimilar to waking up after a terrific nap. I felt refreshed, almost powerful, ready to take on anything.

And it was all because of James. Glorious, beautiful James, who had his face buried in my neck, nuzzling me. His breath was warm, a ghostly memory of the fire which had consumed me from the inside out.

“James,” I whispered.

He kept nuzzling me, seeming not to have heard. But I knew he had.

After a brief period of nuzzles and kisses, James came up to my lips and looked into my eyes. “You look so cute when you come,” he whispered.

I blushed. “I don’t know what you look like. I always have my eyes closed.”

James laughed and kissed my cheek. He held his arms around me, cuddling our bodies together. “I missed this, you know,” he said. “Being with you. Being able to be myself. I’d forgotten what it was like.”

I glanced at him. “That’s some heavy pillow talk.”

“No better time for a serious discussion than when you’re lying in bed with your partner.”

I felt my stomach sink a little. My heart skipped a beat, too. I hadn’t ever known a serious discussion that ended well.

James hugged me tighter, probably because we were so close that he was able to feel my heart getting a little out of control. “I was a foolish young man before. But even back then, I knew you were something special.

“That’s probably why I never forgot you, why you were the first person I thought of when I needed someone to help me. No one else had ever left such an impression on me.”

“I can’t really imagine why,” I whispered.

“Why? Because you’re smart and sweet and loyal. Because you’re funny, and you don’t care that my blood is royal. Because you didn’t give up on me until I proved beyond a doubt that I wasn’t deserving of your loyalty.”

I didn’t like to think of how he’d hurt me so often, disregarding my feelings again and again. And when he’d kissed that other man … well, something inside me had snapped in two. My patience. My hope.

My love.

But now I was older. I’d seen more of the world, seen more of James’s life beyond what he’d chosen to show me back then. I’d seen him swarmed by paparazzi, arguing with other members of the court who only ever had insults to give him.

I understood now what I’d been too young to see in my college days.

The way James acted was a blend of upbringing and pure bravado. He had been raised to do certain things, and he had learned how to cope with those things by doing what was expected of him, so no one would question him. He acted out, gathered the attention of the press, hid himself behind this mask, all because he had to.

And I could see right under his mask whenever he peeked out at me. I could see the real James, the polite and amusing and delightful man with a heart much bigger than he let on.

I had missed this.

I had … missed James.

All this time, I had missed him without knowing it. I couldn’t regret the life I’d lived without him, because I had loved every moment with Alexander, but I could admit to myself now that romance didn’t have a beginning and an end. It continued on, through breakups, and death, and rebounds born from desperation.

And all of that added up to the inevitable conclusion that I felt more for James than lust alone.