13

JACKSON WAS DESPONDENT and out of sorts. His answer to that was to work. Something Hope had said had stuck with him. She had needed the program he had already created to sift through data, but if she had that road map she had been speaking about – a way to tap into the brain cells of people who were in a coma – how much of it would she be able to create?

He had called up a friend who worked with serious VR and a few other friends and had asked a few pointed questions. He knew zero about medical science, but he did know video games and all the things that went along with him.

He drew up plans even though he had no idea of whether or not it was even possible.

He was working when the doorbell rang. He lifted his head with a frown. His house was in a gated community, but there was a key code at the gate. Only a guard and very few people he knew would have had the code.

It had to be Ashton. He went to the door and opened it, but it was not Ashton standing there.

It was Hope.

She stood there, tears streaming down her face. She was pale and her features had a miserable cast to them. She said, “I’m sorry. For all of it. I was a big jerk because I was afraid. You see, all my life I had to compete against, well, everyone. I was taught to do it alone.

“But that was not all of it. I was scared that if I took the donation then I would have to worry that one day…I don’t want to be my mom.”

The confession cracked the armor that had risen at the sight of her on his doorstep. He reached out and drew her into the house, closing the door behind her gently. “Hey, come on now. You are never going to be like your mom. You’re way too feisty.”

She snorted and wiped her eyes. She said, “I know how stupid this sounds.”

“It doesn’t sound stupid. The thing I fear the most is turning into a junkie. I don’t even take aspirin. Once, I broke my foot, and I was so scared to take a pain pill that Ashton finally gave up and poured whiskey down my throat so I would stop with all the whining and crying.”

She came into his embrace, and he closed his eyes. He put his arms around her and pulled her in tight. She felt so right in his arms that he did not know how to even say all the things he felt and needed to say to her.

Hope sniffled and said, “I just couldn’t figure out what you wanted when you offered that money. I was scared and I was afraid that I would end up like her – dependent and afraid to do what I wanted to do. She has never once even tried to speak up even for herself, and he is outright vicious to her so much of the time. It’s the money, you see. It is. As shitty as that is, it is the money that keeps her there, and I did not want that between us.”

“Hope, your mother didn’t trade money for other people. Is that what you are thinking? That she traded her life for you to have a life of comfort?’

She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

She really did not know, and that pissed him off to no end, but not at her. What kind of mother sold herself the way her mother had and then let her daughter feel guilty for the bad bargain her entire life?

Hope’s mother.

He sighed. “I’m sorry you don’t know. I wish you did. I used to watch my folks getting high and wonder why they could not love me enough to stop. To just stop getting high and all the rest of it, but they just never could seem to love me enough to do so.

“Then one day, I figured it out. It was not that they did not love me enough to stop, it was that they did not love themselves enough to stop.”

She leaned backward so she could see his face. “You’re saying that she doesn’t love herself enough to walk out on him.”

“Yes.”

She digested that for a moment. “I can see that.”

She brushed her hair out of her face. “Can you believe that I am sorry and that I did not mean to hurt you?”

He could. “Hell yes.” He took a deep breath. “Can I show you something?”

“Sure.” She backed out of his arms and looked around at the house. “Your house is nice. I thought it would be bigger or something.”

“It’s too big.” His voice was husky. “I know it’s only about a third of the size of your folks’ house, but even so, it feels enormous. It’s also pretty empty because it seems I suck at putting together furniture.”

Amusement showed on her face. “Come again?”

“You heard me.” He took her hand and led her through the house to the den. “I know it might look like a jumbled mess, but maybe you will get the gist of what I am trying to do anyway.’

He took her to his desk, and she leaned over the papers and the drafts there with a frown, saying, “I don’t know anything at all about video games, I am afraid.”

“It’s not a video game.”

She looked up. They stood on opposite sides of the desk, and her eyes held confusion. “It’s not?’

He shook his head. “No, but I am thinking that using VR – virtual reality – would actually be a major bonus.”

“What are you talking about?”

“VR? It’s…”

“No, I know what that means. I mean, what is all this?”

His heart leaped, and his confidence began to tumble. He really didn’t have a single notion about the medical stuff, but he did know about creating, so he said, “I was thinking that…well I was thinking that if you had a test subject, a human or whatever, and you could upload the images that they saw in their brain, then you could figure out more of a map, so to speak.”

Her eyes went wide. She looked back down. “You…you’re serious?”

“Yes.” Uh oh. Was he totally wrong about it being possible? “I mean, it’s just a thought.”

“Dear God, imagine the possibilities if it worked! If we could see what they see, if we could…” Her head came up, and she gaped at him, her eyes round and glowing with excitement. “Jackson! You….this is incredible!”

She came around the desk and threw herself into his arms, and then she sobered. “It would be too costly to create. There’d be a need for prototypes and…”

“And there would be other applications I could sell off using part of the same tech which would probably finance the whole thing.”

“That’s incredible.” She laughed. “How did you think of this?”

“I was thinking about all the things you ever said about being able to help a patient in a coma getting back again.”

She licked her lips. “I think we would have to try it on people who are not in comas, like get some real data so we can have a control.”

He said, “Okay. That sounds fine.’

“Cool.” Hope laughed and clapped her hands to her mouth, then dropped them again. “I just said cool. Did you hear that? I literally have nothing else to say to that. It’s…holy shit. You are a genius!”

Jackson dusted off his sleeve. “Why, thank you.”

She slumped suddenly. “It doesn’t matter though. I have to shut down my lab. The board denied me my grant.”

He said, “Then I guess it is a good thing I am still willing to donate that five million, isn’t it?”