12

CLARA ASKED, “Are you insane or just…insane?”

Hope dunked fries in ketchup, and said, “Both.”

Clara shook her head. “You broke up with him? For real? After what he did to Dad, I would have thought you would rush him to the altar.”

Hope actually managed to laugh at that. “I know, right? It was pretty spectacular. By the way, I am banned from all future dinners.”

Clara shrugged. “I wouldn’t care if I were you. Also, I am going to have to refuse to go on principle now that you have been banned.”

“Oh, so you are using me to get out of going.’

“You better believe it.” Clara did not even look ashamed when she said that. “For real, Hope, how could you break up with him for offering to do something so amazing?”

“Because I don’t want…I want to do this on my own.” She dusted her hands off and stared down at the remains of a double bacon cheeseburger and the dwindling pile of fries. “I don’t want him to give me the money just because he is with me.”

“You do know he probably offered it so you would know he supports you?”

“Or maybe he offered it so he could feel good about himself.” Hope picked up the burger and took a hearty bite, but the juicy and delicious thing might just as well have been made of sawdust for all the pleasure she got out of eating it.

“Does it matter, really?” Clara rolled her eyes. “Listen, I think you’re being crazy. You got turned down by the board, your research is on hold, and you are in a damn big danger of not even having a place to live without funding. Plus, he is a great guy. Do you know what I would give to have a guy that would not only stand up for me but stand beside me and do whatever he had to make sure I had the career I want and need in my life? Man, I would just about sell my soul for that, and you had it, and what do you do? You break up with the guy!”

Hope flinched. “When you put it that way it does sound irrational.”

Clara sipped at her mineral water. “Because it is.”

Just then, a guy strolled up to their table and said, “Well hello, Clara.”

Clara’s face took on a taut look and a false smile. “Hello.”

Hope looked from one to the other. He grinned broadly. Clara kept smiling that patently false smile.

Clara said, “Can I help you, Stephen?”

He chuckled. “I just saw you sitting here and thought I’d say hello on my way out.” His eyes held Clara’s, and Hope sensed the currents flowing between them. Intrigued now, she watched them stare each other down with real interest.

Clara broke that stare, and said, “Have a good day then.”

He chuckled and walked off. Hope leaned across the table. “What was that all about?”

“That? Nothing.”

Hope leaned back, her eyes narrowing. “Uh huh.”

“He’s a trust fund baby who happened to make his own fortune on top of the fortune his family set aside for him. He’s an arrogant rotten jerk, and I hate him.”

Clara’s words made Hope grin. “I see.”

Clara gave her an exasperated glance. “So, back to you.”

“Oh no, this is way more fun. Have you ever gone out with him?”

Clara asked, “Stephen? Hell no.”

“Why not”

“I just told you why. And we were not talking about me and we are not either. So there.”

Hope’s laugh was genuine then. “Oh, I see. You can give me advice but I can’t give you advice?’

“There’s a difference. I know the guy you are dating, and I am not dating Stephen, and you do not know him. Nor do you want to. I promise. He takes smug and condescending to whole new levels.”

Hope wanted to keep that conversation going, but since this was whole new ground for her and Clara, she decided to drop it. She said, “You know, I’m sorry we weren’t better friends when we were younger. I mean, we never really got to talk like this or share stuff and all that.”

Clara said, “That is because they pitted us against each other. We were bred to compete, Hope. Being friends would have undermined everything.”

“But you still stuck up for me that night. Hell you have always stuck up for me.”

Clara said, “How could I not? It sucked to be me, and I knew it sucked to be you, too.”

“I didn’t stick up for you.” Hope’s spirits flattened. “I am so selfish, Clara. I never tried to stick up for you, because I figured you got a hell of a lot better treatment than I did, but it was not all that better, was it? They held up everything I did like a carrot in front of a mule, and they always expected you to do better than what I had done before you.”

“The difference is that I thrived on it. I have a lot of Dad in me. Oh, come on. Don’t look at me like that. I don’t do anything for him or so he can brag. I do what I do because I love it. I love my job, and I love the pressure and the craziness and all of it. Just like you love what you do. And the difference between us there is that I would do anything to stay in the game I am in, while you seem intent on shooting yourself in the foot.”

Hope thought about that last statement for a long time after she and Clara parted ways that afternoon. She sat in her apartment, trying to think. The board had come back with a resounding no to her budget and to giving her more money, and she had let Jackson’s texts and calls go unanswered for a whole week.

He had not called or texted for the last two days. That silence of his spoke volumes. He had given up on her, and how could she blame him?

Tears swept down her cheeks.

She had had such a good thing, and she had screwed it all up by never being the one to put effort into that relationship and by saying no to him when he had tried to give her the money she would need for another year’s worth of research.

She had to try to fix this thing.

She had to, and not because of the money. Because she needed him. She needed a man that wanted her and would be with her. Jackson was that guy.

Only she needed to do something besides call him. She grabbed her phone and called Laura to ask a favor.

Laura answered on the first ring with a breezy, “Hey girl, what’s up?”

“Not much. I…” She paused. “Laura, how did you know Ashton had given up being the guy who made a one night stand dating app?”

“Can I ask why you are asking?”

Hope said, “Well, you know, I have been seeing Jackson, and I know he is a great guy, but I made a shitty mistake and now…damn I am so messed up.”

“Do you need me to come over there?’

Hope dried her eyes. “No,” she said tearfully. “What I need is his address.”

Laura said, “I like it. Wear something he can take off easy, too.”

“Laura!”

Laura laughed and gave her the address.