Hope
Hope sobbed as she rocked on the edge of the hotel bed. All she could do was cry. Her father wrapped his arms around her shoulder as she wept, the only comfort he could provide her. She was unable to explain to him what had happened in the courtyard. Her dad asked her as many yes or no questions he could think of, and he gained an idea of what occurred in the Gardens, and what turned his daughter into a pile of tears by the time she walked in.
She eventually curled up in her father’s lap, and he stroked her hair back fondly. Hope felt like she was her father’s little girl, always. These were the moments she wished her mother was still alive, but her father stepped up to the plate honorably. It was Ben who broke the tears and silence. “Are you okay, doll?”
Hope wiped her tears as she hiccupped from her cries, her emotion was in far more control. “I will be. I don’t know about Chad, though.” Her voice was on the brink of tears again.
“Honey, he’s going through so much right now. I know it hurts, and I’m sure he didn’t mean what he did out there,” Ben said, continuing to stroke Hope’s hair.
“I know. He so wants to go home, he wants to be with Isabella, and he wants to sleep in his own bed,” Hope said, as she sat up to face her dad.
“Well, what are the doctors saying? Is there a way he can go home and still get treated there? He seems pretty well, physically,” Ben offered.
“We haven’t talked to all his doctors in awhile; maybe we should,” Hope suggested, as she pushed back to lean against the headboard of the bed. “He didn’t want to see me for the rest of the day.” Hope covered her face, wanting to stall the tears from flowing again.
“Maybe you should give him a break. Maybe seeing Ace was a lot for him to cope with?” Ben suggested, patting her feet as he stood to go to the now stirring infant.
Hope nodded. “Maybe we both need to take a break?” She ran her hand through her hair, watching her dad tend to her son.
“It sounds like it. Why don’t you take a nap this afternoon? Ace was restless last night. Maybe you can go over tonight? You have plenty of breastmilk in the fridge, so even if you stay late, we’re good,” her generous father offered as he carried the child to her to nurse.
“That's a really good idea.” Hope took Ace gratefully. She nuzzled her son to her cheek, kissing his forehead. “Thank you, Dad. Thank you so much for being here.”
Ben smiled as she slid down the bed and he pressed a tender kiss on her forehead; the same act of affection she had just given to Ace. “I will always be here. If you need me, I’m here. Feed this hungry child, and then rest. I am going to go find us a bite to eat, okay?”
Hope offer her father a small smile. “Thanks, Dad.”
When Hope’s father returned, several hours had passed, and Hope was fast asleep on the hotel bed, over the covers. Exhaustion had taken over and Hope gave into the sleep after placing Ace in his sleeper. She heard her father rustle around the room, and the smell of food wafted toward her as she stirred. She stretched and pulled herself into a sitting position, yawning and shaking the sleep off her. The nap was much needed.
“Dad, that smells so good.” Hope scooted off the bed toward her dad and Ace, to see what he purchased while he was out. “Thank you for letting me sleep. I feel so much better.”
“That was the plan,” her dad said as he set the table for Hope and himself. “It’s a late lunch, early dinner, but it’ll fill you up before you head back to the hospital for the evening. You can nurse Ace before you leave?”
“That’s a good idea; he is probably getting hungry. Thanks, Dad,” Hope said as she examined the choices. Her dad knew her well and knew what she would eat. They both ate in silence, only intermittently checking on Ace, who was strategically placed between them. Hope ate quickly, trying to avoid a hungry Ace from crying out.
“He’s such a good baby,” her dad commented. “You know not to worry about him tonight, right?”
“I know. I just worry that Isabella and Ace are both suffering. Are we doing this the right way?” Hope contemplated as she finished her plate, slowly shifting her attention to the child, noticing his restless fussiness. She motioned for her dad to keep eating as she gathered her nursing blanket. She moved over to her son, smiling down at the innocence, the untarnished joy when she lifted him up. Her heart ached to hold Isabella, play with her, braid her untamed hair. Her children eased her breaking heart. Hope was anchored in the hope that Isabella and Ace were the reflection of her and Chad’s love. She believed if they remembered that, it would get better. It had to.
Her dad sat in silence, as if her question was a rhetorical one, witnessing the love his daughter showed her son. Hope looked over at him as she started to nurse Ace. “Do you think the kids are going to be traumatized?”
He chose to answer this question. “If anything, Hope, I think they will grow to be resilient, compassionate humans. They are surrounded by people who love them. You love them. There is no question Chad loves them. I love them. Lulu and Harper think the world of them. This will build them to be better people. Their parents aren’t infallible, nor should they be. Their parents are humans who are facing some of the hardest challenges any couple should face. You and Chad will get through this. Isabella and Ace will be stronger for it. Shoot, Hope, do you think Isabella is not having a great time with Harper?” Compassion was written all over her dad’s face, and a grin creased his cheeks, referring to his granddaughter and daughter’s unique relationship.
“Yes, Isabella barely wants to talk to me when I call. I’m sure she is good,” Hope reflected, gazing down at her nursing child, stroking his cheek fondly. “I don’t think I can thank you enough, Dad. I’m not sure what I would do without you.” She looked up at her dad. Hope knew that his help was the reason why she hadn’t completely fallen apart. She gently redressed and slipped the child over the nursing blanket and onto her shoulder.
Her dad moved to take the baby from her, leaving their plates on the table. “Go get ready for the night. I got my little buddy.”
Hope handed Ace to her dad, pressing an affectionate kiss on his head. “You’re the best. I’m going to shower real quick, and then head out?”
“Sounds good. I might take Ace here out for a walk. I ate too much,” he said, patting his stomach, the child propped in his arm over his shoulder, being burped.
Hope laughed softly as she made her way to the bathroom. Freshening up would make her feel better, then she was going to go back to the hospital, even if Chad said not to. If there was a time that he needed her, it was now, and she was not going to turn her back on him.