It’s been nice having time off. I’ve been watching the money in my bank account drop lower and lower. But I’m still glad I quit my job.

I know I’ll find another one. Maybe something even better.

But as of right now, there haven’t been any offers. I’ve dropped my résumé off, and I’ve even sent it into some offices by email. Of course, I doubt I have much of a chance at the offices. These days, a college degree doesn’t guarantee you a good job. You’ve got to spend that money to get an advanced degree, specializing in something.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to spend so much time with Will.

“You don’t need your stroller, do you Will?” I say to him, as we’re getting ready to go for a walk.

Will shakes his head.

“You don’t like it anymore?”

Will shakes his head.

“That’s good,” I say. “You’re strong, right Will?”

Will nods his head.

Even when he’s a little tired like this, he still likes walking by himself.

There’s a park nearby that I plan on walking to. That way when he gets tired we can rest on the benches or on the grass.

I’ve been trying not to think about Shane. But that’s hard. I see his face partially every time I look at Will. I see him in Will’s eyes. They look so much alike.

And I dream about him. Every night when I fall asleep, I imagine the two of us in all sorts of scenarios. Some of the dreams are wonderful, and we’re relaxing on a tropical island together, soaking up the sun. Some of the dreams are nightmarish realities that I can’t even begin to describe, that’s how horrible and horrifying they are.

Will looks cute in his fall jacket, and I take him by the hand and we start walking down the sidewalk. Slowly, of course.

Some kids Will’s age are still riding around in strollers. That’s fine. But it’s not Will’s style. He wants to be a big boy already. I’m sure he’s taking after his dad.

“You’re doing good, Will,” I say, trying to encourage him more.

He’s looking around intently studying everything. That’s what he does. He wants to know what’s going on outside. He wants to understand things. He’s incredibly inquisitive, even for a child his age.

We get to the park and there are a few other people there.

It’s not a long walk, but Will’s a little tired.

“You want to sit down on the bench?”

“No, the grass,” he says, pointing to a patch of grass.

“Sounds nice,” I say. “I like sitting on the grass too. That looks like a great spot.”

The sun is shining but the air has a bit of that fall chill to it.

Will sits cross-legged on the grass, and I sit next to him. I’m wearing old jeans and I don’t care if they get grass stains on them, or a little dirt.

Across the park, there’s a gymnasium, and some older kids play on it while their mothers sit and chat on a nearby bench. Although I notice that they tend to look at their phones more than chat with each other. I guess that’s the way things are these days. We’re all becoming less and less connected.

Will’s amusing himself by picking at the grass. It’s amazing to me how kids his age can have so much fun with such simple things. As adults, it takes more and more to amuse us. We get bored more easily as we age. That’s just the way it is, and it’s sort of sad.

I have a heavy heart. I don’t know what’s going to happen with Shane. I’ve been hoping he would call, or send me an email or something. But I haven’t heard anything. Maybe he doesn’t want to be in my life… Maybe he doesn’t want to be with me…

The worst possibility is that he doesn’t even want to be Will’s father.

Instead of feeling angry, I just feel horribly sad. It’s like there’s a deep well of depression drilling its way down through me, drilling right through my heart, digging out a horrible tunnel…

From the nearby street, the sound of screeching tires comes.

I turn to look, as does Will.

“What’s that?”

The car looks familiar.

It’s a Jeep that doesn’t have a top on it. Nor does it have doors.

The driver is big and muscular, and handsome.

For some reason, it takes me a moment to recognize him.

He’s got a look of pure determination on his face.

I see Shane spot us, his eyes locking onto us.

He parks the Jeep quickly, and it rocks on its suspension as he throws on the brake.

He gets out of the Jeep jauntily, moving through the absence of the passenger door.

He walks right towards us, his gait quick and steady. His face is frozen in determination. But other than that I can’t read it.

I don’t know what he wants.

My heart is beating in my chest like crazy.

Will is looking up at Shane expectantly. He doesn’t know it’s his dad. I can see the similarities in their faces so clearly. Will has seen Shane before. He knows he’s my friend.

Shane walks right up to us. He stands just a foot, maybe a foot and a half away from us.

His face is completely unreadable.

To my surprise, he doesn’t say anything.

I don’t say anything either. I’m waiting for him to speak first.

But instead of opening his mouth, Shane gets down onto one knee.

He takes my hand, which feels numb with surprise, in his.

“Lia,” he says, looking me right in the eyes. “I’m sorry about what’s happened between us. It made me realize that there are a lot of things I’m unsure of. But I’m sure of one thing, and that’s that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you, Lia. I know we haven’t spent much time together. But we have something special. We have a special bond that I know we can both feel. I’m not doing this because of Will, but because I know that I want you and that I’ll always want you, no matter what. Lia, will you marry me?”

Shane pulls out a small box from his pocket and opens it up. Inside, there’s a gorgeous engagement ring, the most gorgeous one I’ve ever seen. I vaguely think to myself that the ring and the speech were out of order, but who cares about that. That’s not what’s important here.

I swear to God I almost faint. This is not what I was expecting.

My mouth feels frozen, like it’s hard to speak. But the rest of my body suddenly feels light and free, impossibly happy, as if I can viscerally feel the joy rushing up through me. This is what I want. This is what I want, even though I didn’t know it.

“Mom?” says Will, apparently confused by what’s happening.

“Yes!” I say, my mouth finally moving. “I love you, too Shane. Of course, Shane, I’ll marry you. Yes!”

Shane slides the ring on my finger carefully.

I bring it up closer to my face.

“It looks incredible,” I say. I can’t contain my smile. I simply feel so happy.

Shane rises to his feet and his mouth comes towards mine. His lips touch mine and I feel an electric sensation running through me. It’s the feeling of intense happiness that just won’t leave, ever.

We finally break apart from the kiss.

I look down and Will is standing there, looking up at us.

“What’s happening, Mom?” says Will.

I smile down at him.

“Will,” I say. “This is your father. Your dad.”

Will looks shocked. Maybe a little confused.

“Hey there, big guy,” says Shane, bending down on one knee to get closer to Shane’s height. “I’m your dad. I’m sorry we haven’t spent time together, but that’s going to change. Here, give me a hug.”

Shane hugs Will, and for me the moment seems to hang in eternity, a moment of extreme happiness.

Tears of joy are rolling down my face.