I had just enough time to make it back for the afternoon team meeting. I would drive straight to the stadium. I turned up the radio, but I couldn’t stop thinking about her. The more time I spent with her, the more I wanted her. I wanted her with me all the time. Not just for quick nights here and there.

She had to understand that if I needed her in San Antonio, she had to be there.

Ninety minutes later, I parked in my spot underneath the stadium and took the elevator to the strategy floor. I could hear the low murmur of the other guys. I took a seat mid-way down the aisle in one of the auditorium-style seats.

Coach Howell was going through plays with the offensive and defensive coordinators. They weren’t ready to start the meeting yet. I yawned, but jumped when I felt my phone vibrate. It was a text from Natalia.

Call me when you can.

Starting pre-game meeting. It will be a couple of hours.

Ok.

I wanted to write something about last night, or even about this morning. How fucking sexy she was. How she had stolen my breath with only a few spins in her special ballerina shoes.

I looked down when my phone vibrated. I smiled, hoping Natalia had sent me something in French. I loved it when she said something dirty. Something I’d never heard before or imagined.

I read the text in disbelief.

Can’t we at least talk? Meet for coffee?

Shit. It was Maddie again. I had to find a way to block her or I’d get a new number. It would be a pain in the ass, but it would be worth it not to have her contact me. Why was she doing this? Why was I suddenly her life line? I didn’t buy it.

No.

I wrote back. I turned my phone off. I wouldn’t respond to anything else. That was the last word she’d hear from me. I’d been done with her for years. She was the bitch who had cut me out. Now I’d be the dick who did the same thing.

The lights lowered and the film began to run.

Coach spoke into the microphone. “Guys, pay attention to this. It’s a play they ran last week. It worked, so we can expect to see it tomorrow.”

He got our attention and the room went silent. Everyone focused on the film. Everyone except me. All I could think about was a ballerina who was in my head.

Two hours later, I ran out of the meeting with the phone to my ear.

“Hey, you made it back okay?” Her voice sounded sweet.

“I drove straight to practice.” I walked to the end of the hallway where I could talk to her privately.

“Good. I’m glad you made it back.”

“What’s going on?”

She sighed. “I want to tell you yes, but I think we’re moving too quickly.”

I slammed my palm against my forehead. “It doesn’t feel like it’s too fast when we’re together, does it?”

“No, it doesn’t. And I think that’s what scares me the most about it, Sam. Is this even real?”

I stared out the window at the indoor practice field. “It’s real for me. I’ve never asked someone to move in with me before. I want you here.” I could feel the tension gripping in my neck.

“I want to be there too, but I think we should try things like this for a while. Can we do that? Plan weekends? I’ll come see you next time. Or we can meet in the middle?”

“The middle? There’s nothing in the middle.” I was pissed, and my voice was getting louder.

“Okay, as soon as you left I started looking up some places and I found these cute cottages on Canyon Lake. We could rent one and no one would see us and we could spend time together.”

I huffed. “This is a fucking first.”

“Excuse me?”

“Most women want to be photographed and seen with me and you’re the exact opposite.”

“Sam, I tried to explain to you how important it is that I do this on my own. I don’t want a handout. If you can’t respect that I don’t want your money, then maybe this isn’t even worth trying.”

I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to fight with her. I didn’t want to push her away.

“I’m sorry, Natalia. I’m tired and it was a long meeting. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.”

There was silence on the other end.

“Natalia?”

“Yeah. I was thinking.” Her voice was soft. “I’ll let you go and we can talk after our games tomorrow. Just think about it, Sam. I want to see you again, but if you can’t handle me staying on the dance team, then you need to let me know. I made a commitment to the Goddesses and I’m going to keep it.”

I saw Wes walking toward me. This was the last thing I wanted him to hear.

“Right. Right. Yeah, let’s talk tomorrow.” I hung up to face the quarterback.

“You ran out of there like your ass was on fire.” He eyed me.

“Something back home,” I lied. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you about a couple of the plays we have lined up for tomorrow. Howell, as usual, is a dumbass.”

I scratched the back of my head. I wasn’t going to get in the middle of Coach and Wes’s on-going argument about who should decide the game plays. Some teams were dependent on the quarterback and some relied on a team of coordinators to decide. Coach Howell liked to be the one in charge and so did Wes.

“What are you thinking?” I asked.

“What I think is, we use the same shit we did against the Warriors. Start off with an even rotation and then I go to you straight every time.”

My face lit up. “I like how you think.” There was nothing Coach could do if I ran the route that was called to me on the field. At that point I was only doing my job.

“Good. Then expect to make a lot of catches and let’s run that score up.”

I laughed. “Fuck, yeah. Let’s do it all afternoon.”

My argument with Natalia didn’t seem as important. I remembered I was here to win football games and collect a two-million dollar bonus in a few months.

I walked down the hall for the elevator when I heard Cavan calling my name.

“Hey, you didn’t call me about the playbook.” He stopped me at the elevator.

“Right. It’s in my car if you want it.”

“I checked around and no one else has one. I’ll take yours if you’re sure.”

“Yeah. It’s yours. Come on.”

We rode the elevator to the garage level. Cavan followed behind me. He was having a pretty good season. I was impressed another rookie could join the team and do what he had with the pressure weighing down on us to repeat our championship victory.

I pulled the binder out of the trunk and handed it to him.

“Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”

“No problem.”

I knew how he felt. I remembered what it was like when everyone around you had the plays memorized and you were still trying to get to know the names of a hundred different guys and staff members. He was in a new city with a new job. There were a lot of adjustments to make. But he seemed to be the kind of guy who was handling it in stride. Maybe better than I had.

I needed to get home, shower, and study the game notes for tomorrow. I hopped behind the wheel and steered toward my apartment.

* * *

I turned the shower off and grabbed the towel on the closest rack, wrapping it around my waist. I heard my phone buzz.

Holy fuck.

It was a picture of Natalia. She was standing on one toe, pulling her leg behind her so it was almost touching her head. She made a perfect circle using her leg and her back. I knew she was flexible, but this was fucking insane.

I texted her back.

I thought you said there were no cameras in there.

I waited for her response.

I set the timer just for you.

I laughed out loud. I adjusted the towel so it rested on the lowest part of my hip and took a shot of my profile and sent it to her. That should do the trick. I was dripping wet.

J’ai envie de toi.

I leaned my head against the glass wall. She was killing me. The dirty French talk. Her body. All of it. I wanted her. I didn’t need to wait until after the game to have the follow up discussion. If I had to wait a few more weeks, maybe it was worth it.

I turned off the bathroom light and wrote back to her.

I want you too.

Good night, Sam.

Good night.

I plugged my phone into the charger next to my bed and pulled back the sheets. I set my alarm. I had a game day ritual at home that started with a big breakfast and a quick jog in the park. It helped me relax.

I watched a few minutes of Sports Now before I fell asleep.

The next morning, I jumped up from bed before my alarm went off. What in the hell was that? I rubbed my eyes and took a deep breath. I knew it was a dream, or a nightmare. But it had felt fucking real. I had bolted awake with fear coursing through me.

I had been holding Natalia. We were talking about the lake or something and I rolled away from her, and when I rolled back she was gone. Instead, Maddie was there. Fuck. I ran my fingers through my hair.

Why was I dreaming about Maddie? Ever since she called when I was at Natalia’s apartment I had done everything to forget the conversation. She said she needed money. Todd had kicked her out and she didn’t know where to go. Fuck that. I wasn’t giving her a dime of what I earned.

She didn’t deserve to be in dreams. She didn’t deserve to speak to me or see me. I didn’t think about her anymore. I didn’t have a single picture of her in my apartment. When we graduated, I got rid of everything that was hers. She had put me through the emotional wringer. I took another deep breath. This wasn’t how I wanted to start my Sunday.

I put on a pair of shorts and shuffled to the kitchen. I couldn’t let something stupid like a dream interfere with the game-day routine. I had a big breakfast to cook.

* * *

I arrived at the stadium earlier than usual. I was off all day. I had been since that nightmare forced me awake. I couldn’t shake it. I thought about calling Natalia, but what was I going to say? Yeah, I’m fucking freaked out about a dream I had where my ex replaced you. That wouldn’t go over well in any scenario. She was understanding, but that would be pushing it. I had already made the decision not to tell her she had called me when I was in Austin. I wasn’t going to bring it up now.

I threw my bag on top of my cubby and sat on the bench. As usual, the equipment guys had laid everything out for me and the rest of the team. All I had to do was suit up for the game. But sitting here, staring at my name, I wasn’t sure if my head was in the game. I pressed my palms to my forehead.

I needed a few minutes to get my shit together, because once I took the field everyone in the stadium counted on me. Wes counted on me. Coach counted on me. But right now, I wasn’t sure I could count on myself.