Rebel

Mike looks at me as his eyes narrow. “Talk to me.”

I hate it when he’s playing my dad.

And I kind of like it. Need it.

No, I don’t like him at all. His presence here is ruining my life. Making me feel things I don’t want to feel.

I kind of like Daisy. The bitch looks like a little doll but she’s tougher than many men I’ve met in my life.

“I don’t have time for any chit-chat,” I say.

He grins. “Guess what? I know about the passage and Star and you and your trips outside the compound.”

Yes, he has my attention. My fingers roll into fists, and I stifle the urge to rip his throat out.

“I was a private investigator,” he says.

“I don’t give a fuck,” I say and add with sarcasm, “Dad.”

He grins like a wolf. “Dinner is at one as always.” He nods several times and grins even wider. “Son.” He pats my shoulder. “Your trips are none of my concern as long as you eat Daisy’s food. Understood?”

I salute him, turn around and walk towards my house.

The motherfucker has a good sense of humour. I must admit I like challenging him.

The problem is, Thunder is my dad. I can’t have two dads. It wouldn’t be fair towards Thunder. He fucking raised me and was there for me when I needed him. Still is there for me when I need him.

Mike is there for me when I need him too and that’s pissing me off.

***

Daisy loops her arm through mine. “You idiot.”

I growl like an animal but say nothing.

“She cried the whole night,” Daisy continues.

“Star?”

“Of course Star, you idiot. You have a girlfriend? A fucking girlfriend?”

“Had.”

“You think Star doesn’t know what that means?”

We drop onto the fallen tree trunk covered with patches of green moss.

“Star doesn’t know anything,” I say. “She’s…”

“Dumb?”

“Special.” I roll my fingers into fists as anger floods me. “A man needs a stupid pussy to suck their dick off from time to time.”

“Star has beautiful lips. Beautiful lips that could give you the blow job of your life. And she’s intelligent.”

Heat rushes up my chest and my throat pulses, then my dick pulses and I feel ashamed of myself. “You know I will never touch Star that way.” I huff out. “I can be her friend, that’s all. She’s not like all the other bitches. She’s untouchable.”

“She is in love with you.”

I stiffen. “How do you know this?”

“She made me her sister, remember? I know her every secret.” She nudges my chest with her elbow. “She understands the concept of love between a man and a woman more than you think she does.”

“What the fuck do you mean?”

“She is interested in you the same way you’re interested in her, Rebel. She likes your body. She knows what a cock is for. Interesting, isn’t it?” She grabs her own head in both her hands. “You are a moron sometimes.”

I feel like life is evaporating from me. “I thought…”

“Everybody thinks she has the brain of a five-year-old, but that’s not true.” She inhales deeply, her eyes wandering off somewhere in the distance. “She can date, kiss, do all the stuff. Believe me. She wants to do all the stuff.”

I feel hollow. “I fucked up.” Fire seizes my insides and burns. Burns like a hell fire. I want to punch myself in the face. “It’s all lost.”

“Not yet. Come over for dinner with her next week. I’ll sort it out, don’t worry.”

“Why are you doing this? I broke your rib.”

“I broke your nose.” She makes a few shoulder rotations. “And your rib.”

It pisses me off that I’m so exposed and Daisy can read me like a book. On the other hand, I’m happy that there’s someone in the world who knows what I feel, who wants to help me.

Daisy is a very good person—there’s nothing false about her—pure goodness and never-ending willingness to support you.

“I will help you, Rebel, but no girlfriends or whores or bar trash from now on. You’re a saint from now on.”

I growl. I’m not like this. I don’t do whores or strippers. The boys do. I just rest and wait for them to finish.

Then I salute Daisy anyway.

Hope starts sprouting in my heart.

***

Two years later.

I’m sitting in Mike’s kitchen that once was my kitchen. He’s just finished reading the letter from Thunder.

“You knew,” Mike says. “For all these years.”

Of course, I knew. There was a reason why I hated him so much—he was supposed to know about my mom’s pregnancy. He was supposed to know he was my father. He was supposed to be an omniscient god. I hated him until Daisy came to our compound and made things right between us. Until Daisy made me see a human in him.

“I want to put a claim on Star, Prez,” I say.

“I bet you do.” Mike grins. “From tomorrow she’s all yours.”

I feel like I’m inside a glass bubble, his voice like an echo to me. He says something else to me, but my mind fills with one thought—Star is mine. My old lady.

I leave his house, my legs spongy as fuck, and I bang on Gunner Junior’s door.

Sol opens it. “Fuck off. It’s almost midnight.”

“You...” I grit my teeth. “Let me in. I need to talk to Gunner.”

“So come in ten hours.” She flashes me a smile of pity.

I see Gunner standing behind her. He puts his hand on her neck, and Sol turns into a sweet kitten at once. If Sol were a man, we’d be best friends. As a woman? Well, Gunner can tame her. I respect her as his wife and I’m happy for them.

“Got her?” Gunner asks.

“Got her,” I say, emotion strangling my throat.

Sol tilts her head. “So this is what it’s all about. Come in. I will be nice to you and maybe I can even make you a cup of coffee.”

I walk in and we sit in the kitchen.

“I’m taking her to Zane’s chapter,” I say.

Gunner pats my shoulder as Sol puts the kettle on. One of their kids starts crying upstairs and she runs out of the kitchen. Gunner rises to his feet, opens the cupboard and takes two tins out of it. He makes me a cup of coffee.

“It’ll be alright,” Gunner says.

The aroma of coffee wafts through the air. I feel as nervous as a teen even though Mike patched me in six months ago. I guess I should be more composed, but no, I’m nervous as hell.

“I’ve never even kissed her, you know,” I say.

“I’m no expert, but maybe buy her something nice or take her out on a date.”

“She’s my old lady,” I growl. “You don’t do such stuff with your old lady. You…” My voice falters.

I want to tear Star clothes off and bury my dick inside her at last. I want to fuck her to the point of total exhaustion. I’ve waited for her for so long.

Gunner scratches his head. “A shot of vodka?”

I nod. “One shot would do me good.”

He takes a bottle of vodka out of the cupboard and opens it with a click. Sol walks in and frowns at us.

“A house party?” she says with sarcasm.

“One shot,” Gunner says as he picks up two shot glasses from the black dish drainer. “I’d pour you a shot, but since you’re pregnant again…” He grins at her then drops into the chair, pulling her onto his lap.

Sol snorts, but one glance from Gunner tames her.

“Stay away from Brianna,” Sol says. “Or she’ll suffocate you with care. You could stay at my parents’ place. My mom is nice. Quiet.” She turns her face to Gunner’s. “Or they could stay in Chaviva.” She looks at me. “Yeah, definitely Chaviva. Star will love it there. This is such a beautiful hotel now and Cindy and Luka are lovely.” She nods. “I envy you. I’m dreaming of a vacation, but my lovely husband wants to populate the world with our kids.”

“Our kids get their intelligence from me,” Gunner says. “The world needs them. It’s my duty towards humanity to produce as many of them as possible.”

“So, you’re saying I’m not intelligent?” Sol says.

“I didn’t say that,” Gunner says and we clink glasses.

I gulp my vodka and wash it down with coke. “When is the baby due?”

“I’m four months pregnant,” Sol says.

Gunner puts his palm on her stomach and nuzzles his nose against her hair. They seem to forget about me.

Right. It’s time for me to go.

I hug them and go to pack my clothes.

As I put my bag on the desk, my eyes sweep over the enormous clock—Thunder’s favourite one. I only kept this clock and sold the rest after he’d passed away.

“Told me to be happy, old man, so I’m gonna be happy at last.” I feel my throat tighten. “Mike’s a good guy as you told me.”

Two photo frames stand on my desk—me and Thunder and me and Mike’s family. It feels sometimes like I have two personalities and two lives—one life belongs to Thunder—the other to Mike.

Right. It’s time for me to start my life with Star. Uneasiness sits on my chest. I haven’t talked to her for ages.

I haven’t proposed to her.

No, Star doesn’t need this shit.

She needs silence. I’ll give it to her.

I’m gonna carry her in my arms for the rest of my life.

Now we’re going to Zane’s chapter. I’ve never seen that piece of desert owned by the Shadow Wolves MC.

Gunner Junior said I’d enjoy it there.

They regained their heritage some time ago—the shit with the mob is cleaned up though the words ‘Shadow Wolves’ will never be said to public. This club does not exist officially. This club is dead to public.

Yet it’s so alive.

Star

I’m happy living with Daisy and Mike. My dad went to Tibet some time ago and he’s happy there too. So happy that he decided to stay there forever. He calls me once a month and his voice is stronger and stronger each time. He seems calmer, more distant.

Two weeks ago, I received a letter from him with a photo of his new family inside the envelope. He has a young woman and a baby. I have a little brother. I’m so happy for him. He looks so healthy in the photo and his wife looks so young. Looks twenty years old at most.

Sky, my sister, is very happy too. She has a handsome husband and two kids. She’s very busy taking care of them.

Daisy and I are busy running our kindergarten. We had to do some courses at Golden Sierra College to open it. There’s fifteen kids in total including Daisy’s Amber and Sol’s Asher and Britt.

I get up and have a shower. As I walk down the stairs and enter the kitchen, I see Daisy with Amber hopping on her hip. Daisy is pregnant so I take Amber from her and sit her on my hip. Daisy shoots me a strange glance as Mike and Rebel walk in.

I haven’t seen Rebel for a while. He’s been busy—first looking for Gunner Junior’s brother’s ashes and then he went to Spain to help Daisy’s grandfather, Dimitri, and after he returned from Spain he just wanted to be on the road.

I’ve been busy but I missed him every day.

“Sit down, Star,” Mike says.

I drop into the chair. Something is wrong, and I feel my throat tighten. Maybe they want me to move out. What am I going to do? The shed is so cramped and so cold in winter.

Rebel looks at me like he wants to kill me—his eyes are burning with rage like he’s a fallen angel.

Daisy takes Amber from my arms, kisses my cheek and goes upstairs.

Panic spreads in my veins like poison. They’re fed up with me. I’m too stupid for them to keep me for longer. I’m too uncontrollable for them to allow me to be around their kids.

“Rebel put a claim on you, sweetheart,” Mike says. “And I agreed. Do you know what that means?”

My eyes travel to Rebel’s. His jaw muscles twitch.

I feel like there’s no me—like there’s only this news spreading in my being.

“It means that I will be Rebel’s wife,” I say in a cold voice as though it’s not about me but about someone else.

Then I feel like a hammer has struck against my brain. An urge of finding a dark hide-out stirs inside me.

“You should go pack some clothes and cosmetics,” Rebel says, his voice rough. “We’re going to Chaviva. Be ready in half an hour.”

I rise to my feet and nod, everything numb inside me. I go upstairs and Daisy helps me pack a small bag. She strokes my arm.

My insides twitch and panic replaces my numbness.

“What should I do, Daisy? What do wives do?”

“They paint their nails and smile.” She winks at me.

“Can I kiss him?” My tummy fills with heat.

I’m nineteen and I’ve never kissed a boy. The boys here avoid me like I’m rotten. Only Rebel has always treated me like I am a human, not a shadow.

“You should kiss him,” Daisy says.

“He’s never kissed me.” I can’t hide my resentment. “Not even once. Maybe he doesn’t want to kiss me.”

“He wants to kiss you, Star. Believe me.”

“But Angela…” I still remember her and it still hurts.

“He doesn’t want Angela. He wants you. Only you.”

“You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?”

“No, Star. I’m always honest with you.”

“But he’s never—“

“He wants you.” Her eyes lock on mine. “Take a few deep breaths, honey.”

I do as I’m told. Daisy throws her arm over my back and shoves me towards the door. I grab my bag and we go downstairs. Rebel takes my bag from my hand. His eyes never leave mine. Panic strangles my throat and a shooting pain courses through my heart.

I can’t choose clothes for myself—Daisy’s buying them for me. I can’t put make-up on properly and Daisy’s teaching me how to do that stuff. I can’t chat. I can’t kiss.

My mind pulsates. I feel like I’m blurry. Everything is blurry and hot. Daisy hugs me. Mike hugs me. Rebel drags me out of the house, sits me on his bike, secures our bags behind me and settles himself in front of me. I wrap my arms around his chest and rest my cheek against his cut. I inhale him—resins, wind and tobacco.

“I love you, Rebel,” I say.

He turns to me abruptly, his eyes wild like hell fire. “I love you too. Everything’s gonna be alright, Star.” He grins. “Hold on to me. It’s a long way to Chaviva.”

He starts the engine and the smell of fuel circles around me. The blue-grey streaks of the fumes billow out as we shoot forward.

We ride for six hours and then we stop in front of a palace. I jump off the bike, my ass sore. My muscles are so stiff that I move like a robot. A girl who looks like Daisy walks out of the palace. She greets us, hugging us and kissing Rebel and me on the cheek.

“I’m Cindy,” she says.

“I know,” Rebel says. “You’re my kind of auntie.”

Cindy smirks. “Since my sister is your stepmom…” She strokes my arms and leads us along the palace’s corridors to our room.

My eyes sweep over pillars, shiny furniture and heavy mirrors. I feel like an ant. No, I feel like a peasant.

After a quick shower, I put fresh clothes on, and we have a meal in a dining room that looks like a ballroom and then a tall woman approaches me and we go to a library.

“My name is Athena,” the woman says.

We sit on a black leather sofa as my eyes roam over the bookcases. They layer all the walls. I’ve never seen so many books. They look like they are antique—with leather covers and golden inscriptions on their spines.

“Do you like reading?” Athena asks.

“I do.”

She nods, opens a notebook and puts it on her lap. With a pen in her hand, she strokes my hand with her other hand and starts asking me questions about almost everything. She is interested in what I like and what I don’t like. She asks me questions about Rebel. I’m polite and answer them to the best of my ability.

I like her. She’s as warm as a true mother should be, but she looks like a queen.

She strokes my hand. “Do you like it when Rebel is close to you?”

“Yes. I like it when we’re sitting in the woods.”

“Do you like it when he talks to you?”

“Sometimes.”

“Tell me about your hobby. What books do you like reading?”

“I like reading fairy tales. I love them.”

“So do I. I love ‘Sleeping Beauty’.”

“I love ‘Red Riding Hood’.” I lower my voice to a whisper. “I want the Wolf to be a good wolf and marry Red.”

“I like your idea.”

“Thank you.”

She offers me a cookie and a glass of orange juice.

An old man walks in. There’s an aura of menace around him, and I cringe into myself. My heart jumps up to my throat.

“Mike’s kid?” he asks, his accent rough.

Athena nods. “Yes, this is Star, Rebel’s wife.” She looks at me. “This is Dimitri.”

“Nice to meet you, sir,” I say.

So, this is Daisy’s grandpa—the mysterious businessman who built Chaviva many years ago.

Dimitri holds my hand and plants a kiss on my knuckles. “Wish you happiness, sweetheart.”

He’s scary, but nice.

“Fix her,” he growls to Athena, and I shudder.

She rolls her eyes. “You’re the boss.”

“Exactly,” Dimitri says. “Fix her as soon as possible.”

“Any other orders, Boss?” Athena asks.

“Have some sleep,” Dimitri says.

His eyes fill with concern, and he walks off.

Athena glances at me. “That’s enough for today, but I want to talk to you from time to time.”

“Sure.”

“Tell Rebel to come here.”

“I will.”

I walk out of the library and see Rebel talking to a young man with long hair.

“This is Tyler, Star,” Rebel says.

I heard of Tyler and Takis, but I haven’t met them—they’re new assets to the Devil’s Tears MC.

Tyler leans towards me and wraps his arms around me, kissing the top of my head as Rebel would. It makes me giggle.

“We’re gonna entertain you here,” Tyler says. He turns me round, but doesn’t release me. “She’s so sweet.”

“She is,” Rebel says.

“Athena wants to talk to you, Rebel,” I say.

Rebel nods and glances at Tyler. “Take care of my wife, brother.”

“As I would take care of Daisy and Cindy,” Tyler says, his voice solemn.

I see a woman walk towards us. She’s moving with the grace of a ballerina.

“My mom,” Tyler says and huffs out.