It had been nearly a week since Nancy had been admitted into the hospital. She was doing very well, and her children were starting to relax. I checked in every day, which they didn’t seem to mind. LeAnn had actually grown quite fond of me. She said that I was too cute to be hanging around her older brother. It was in jest, of course, and I laughed pretty good due to the comfort level I’d gained around the brothers.
Surprisingly enough, in spite of Andi’s overzealousness in hanging out with them initially and her picking on me at every turn, she had been doing her best to ignore Alex. I could tell that she liked him, and it must have been bothering her. She didn’t deal well with anything revolving around the feels. She immediately freaked out and shut down. I was the polar opposite, which was just as bad.
Work had been pretty slow, so I was able to get on my phone and look at some furniture. One of the local stores had an impressive showroom, and it was all available online. Most of it was out of my price range, but it was beautiful to look at. Sarah, one of the techs on the floor, helped me pick out a small charcoal colored sectional with a matching ottoman. It was still a bit too expensive, but I decided that I didn’t care. I’d make payments and enjoy my freedom. I wanted a bed, too, but I wasn’t about to pick out a new mattress online.
“Whatcha buyin’?”
I turned to see Alex smiling and leaning against the counter.
“Hey!” I said. “I was just buying a new couch to replace the one slick Ricky stole from me. What’s up?”
“Slick Ricky,” he repeated, laughing a little. Just like Jax, he had a warm and comforting laugh. “You never fail to make me laugh. I was wondering if you had a minute.”
“Sure! I mean, clearly I’m busy and all, but I can spare a couple minutes of precious time for you.”
“Glad to hear it,” he said. “Show me where to get some coffee. I’ve been here every day for about a week, and I still haven’t made my way around to finding it.”
My brows furrowed. “Do you want to end up in that room next to your mom? I’d suggest not drinking the crappucinos.”
He laughed again. “Very well, then. I suppose a soda will have to do.”
The cafeteria had surprisingly good food. I decided to take him down there and get him a slice of my favorite pie. They also had a huge mug you could buy and get free refills in. He was pretty excited for that last part. On the way down, he changed the subject to something I wasn’t quite expecting.
Alex nervously ran his fingers through his hair. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” I replied. “You know you can talk to me about anything.”
“I know,” he said. “That’s why I like you. We haven’t really known each other long, but I’ve always been told that tragedy brings people closer together, and I’m a firm believer in that. You’ve been in there every day checking on her. It’s obvious that you care. At first, LeAnn thought it was because of Jax.”
“What?” I asked. “Why would she think that?”
“She doesn’t think that now,” he said. “And she thinks that about anyone that hangs around us. She’s seen both of us go through hell, so she worries more than she should.”
“Well I’m glad she doesn’t think that anymore,” I said. “I’m not like that.”
“I know you’re not. You are one of the rarest people I’ve ever met.”
“So why the strange topic, then?” I asked.
“Because I’m worried about you and my brother,” he replied.
“Worried? About both of us? Why would you be worried?”
“This will sound strange, but I want you to know that it comes from the best place possible,” he said.
I was silent, only nodding in response.
“Like I said before – you are genuine. You are a beautiful, kind, and compassionate woman. You care for others like it’s a personal duty, not just a job. Your heart is too big. I don’t know how you feel about my brother, or how he feels about you, but I know how you both look at one another. You’re shy, and though you have no reason to be, you have low confidence. Because of that, I catch you looking at him sometimes like you are dying to tell him something, but you just can’t. You’re terrified because you think he would turn you down. Am I wrong?”
I just stared at him in silence. There were a billion things rushing through my mind, and I couldn’t stop them long enough to pick one to say. His brows rose, a knowing smile forming on his lips as he stared at me. It snapped me out of my daze.
“You aren’t completely wrong, I guess.”
He looked at me incredulously, the smile growing.
“Fine!” I said. “Yes. You’re right. He’s painfully sweet. Both of you are! You both have respect for women, hell, for people unlike anyone I’ve ever seen. No one gets mistreated around either of you. There’s some kind of an attraction to him that I can’t explain. There’s a bond there. I don’t say anything for a number of reasons. Some of which do in fact revolve around the fact that I do have confidence issues, but it isn’t the main one.”
“You are beautiful. Any man would be lucky to have you. The fact that the man you had was such an ungrateful and sightless ass drives Jax and me insane. We don’t get it. You shouldn’t ever feel bad about yourself.” He paused for a moment. “My brother would be lucky to have you, but neither one of you are in a place where you should be dating. He’s had a bad relationship recently and yours is even more recent. Please don’t take this as me saying that I don’t like or trust you. Or that I’m trying to threaten you to stay away from my brother. I’m not. If you guys decided to go for it anyway, I would be happy for you both. My problem is that I don’t want to see it end before it even starts just because neither of you were ready.”
“I don’t think negative of you for looking out for your brother,” I said.
“And you,” he stated quickly.
“And me. I don’t think badly at all. In fact, I love that about you. I appreciate your concern, but there isn’t a reason to be concerned. I really have no business breaking the biggest rule of a recent breakup. Immediately dating someone else. I know how rebound relationships go. Not all the time, I’m sure, but mostly they do. I don’t want to hurt him, and I definitely don’t want to be hurt again. So, please don’t worry. I’m not going to pursue anything with him.”
He laughed. “I’m not worried about you. I’m more worried about him. When he sees something he wants, he goes for it. I don’t mean women; I mean anything. He’s very ambitious. He’s very careful with you right now because he’s considerate of your situation. He doesn’t want to hurt you, but if he decides that he wants to be with you, I’m worried that he will say something. You being put in that situation would be bad either way. You’d have to turn him down, or date him and risk it going badly that way.”
“So, you’re saying that I should friend zone him?” I asked.
He shrugged. “It’s not a terrible idea. Just try not to flirt too much.”
He smiled. I could tell that he was still nervous about the conversation, but he had no reason to be. I understood why he was worried about both of us. He was right. If I flirted with him, or got too close, I could give him the wrong idea. If he did decide that he wanted to be with me, there was no way that I could say no. He was too perfect, but it would still be a bad idea.
“How about we get some pie?” I asked. “Because they make awesome cakes and pies, and I’m suddenly needing one.”
* * *
That evening I went home and thought over what Alex had said. He was such a kind man, and I appreciated that. I was more than happy to have them for friends. Anyone should be lucky enough to have friends like that.
I grabbed a quick dinner, by which I mean that I ate some tomato soup with a grilled cheese, and went to the living room. Bowl and little plate in hand, I sighed, a tiny sting of anger piercing me as I looked at the living room that I somehow managed to forget was empty. Every day I went home and every day I saw it. For whatever reason, however, I managed to forget it was a barren wasteland in there. Then I remembered my plan for after dinner. I wanted to lie down and take a nap.
… Still no bed.
“Gah!” I said out loud to no one but myself.
I went to the lonely kitchen table and ate my dinner. I was pretty sure that my face was redder than the soup was with how irritated I was. Once I had finished, I rinsed my bowl and grabbed my keys. I thought, “screw it. I’ll just go to the furniture store anyway.”
I wondered if they’d do same day delivery. If they did, it was possible that when I picked out the bed and had it delivered that I could get the couch that I’d ordered online right along with it. I sure planned to ask anyway.
It was evening time, so traffic sucked once again. Everyone was getting off work and driving like crazy people, so they could get home. I nearly got t-boned at an intersection when someone decided to run a red light. Psychos. Luckily, that intersection was right next to the furniture store. By that point, I was suffering a bit of road rage. Who could blame me?
Going inside was like walking into an adult wonderland. So many squishy soft things to sit on and try out. I walked around looking at all the living room suites that were far too expensive for me. Just because I couldn’t afford it didn’t mean that I shouldn’t try it out!
I saw a beautiful red and black couch. It was much more “stylish” than what I would have been able to pull off, but I loved it anyway. It was massive and very comfortable. It also had a hefty price tag at $2,500. Barf.
As I rounded the corner, I saw the very couch that I’d ordered online. I inwardly squealed as I saw it in person. Sitting on it proved that my choice had been a good one. It was fluffy and soft. Overstuffed arms and back. Soft cushions. Amazing charcoal grey color. Oh, how I loved it.
“Beth! Hey!”
I looked up to see a man named Brian Scott. He and I went to school together. He’d always been a very sweet guy. Last I’d heard, he was married with a toddler. The last time I saw him, he was a cute pudgy guy.
He was pretty tall with medium colored hair, just on the border between dark blonde and light brown. His face was one that was made for smiling. You could tell he did it often. As for his weight, he’d always been a bigger guy, but he always looked great with it. It seemed to fit him somehow, but that had certainly changed. Brian had been working out. He was still a bigger guy, just in different ways. He’d obviously taken control of his health. Go Brian!
“Hey, Brian!” I said, standing to give him a hug as he approached. “How have you been?”
“Good!” he said. “How have you been?”
“I’m doing well,” I replied. “I’m working at the hospital and have my RN. Were you able to go for the engineering degree you wanted to?”
He shook his head. “When I got married, all that got put on hold. She wanted to go to school, so I put mine off, and she went for a while. She was doing really great, but she dropped out when she got pregnant. She was just too tired all the time. Unfortunately, she and I separated last year, so I started school then as a way to get my mind off things.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” I said. “I’m very happy to hear that you’re doing things for you, though! That’s great that you’re in school!”
“Yeah! I started school and started going to the gym. You have no idea how big of a stress reliever that is! I’m in school for Engineering, but I’m also working as a physical trainer. It’s been great.”
“A physical trainer? That’s awesome! Maybe I need to come see you. I’ve gained about twenty pounds, and I need to take that off,” I said with a laugh.
“You look amazing. If you want to work that off, do it for you. Not for anyone else. If you decide that you want to, though, definitely come see me. Everyone should hit the gym regardless of weight. It’s a great stress reliever, and it’s obviously just a good idea for health,” he said.
“Absolutely! When are you working next?” I asked. “I’m off tomorrow. I might head in there.”
“I’ll be there,” he replied. “Just come in, and I’ll help you fill out the app stuff.”
“That sounds great! I’ll see you then! I’m going to go try to find a bed I like and see if they will do same day delivery,” I said.
“Good luck, and I’ll see you tomorrow!”
“See ya, Brian,” I replied.
He was just as positive as ever. Even after a divorce he was sweet and upbeat. I was very happy to hear that even after all that he was still pushing forward and doing things. Granted, it seemed like he would have been dying inside had he not chosen the route of keeping busy and preoccupied, but that’s what separates some people from others. You can choose to wallow and drown in the sadness, like Andi did last year and like I would have done had she not stopped me, or you can push through and find things to make you better while you heal.
I was in some middle area. I wasn’t bettering myself, but I wasn’t falling into a black hole either. Seeing Brian was exactly what I needed because if he can be happy and positive after a divorce and what I’m sure was a custody battle afterward, then I can after leaving a jerk who cheated on me. I planned to go to that gym the following day, as I’d said I would, and I planned to use it to make myself better. Even if it was just as a way to manage stress.
I joked about my weight gain, but in reality, I didn’t care. After hearing the things that Jax and his siblings had said to Nancy, I realized there were men out there who really didn’t care about such trivial things. I learned what a real man was. What a good man was. It truly was like a weight had been lifted, not caring what other people thought when they looked at me. Jax and his family had been quite a blessing to me, and I would never be able to thank him. The sad part was that he didn’t even know how big of an impact on my life he’d had in such a short time, and because of what Alex had told me earlier, I couldn’t even tell him. Maybe one day…