Find something productive to do, my ass. I’d show him productive. However, first I needed to change my panties.
The night he took me to The Asylum and then took charge of the scene with the guys at home was the first time he’d actively participated in my sexual adventure. He watched, he’d pleasured himself, he even directed what happened to me, but at its heart he did nothing more than protect and brood.
The morning I woke up in his arms still gave me a warm spot behind my heart. Today was nothing like that. His dominance, his control over my whole world, for that one moment in the garage burned white hot and left me beyond wanting.
My complete irritation that he thought I was acting like a brat and his demand that I find something to do with myself only added fuel to the raging forest fire of need I’d been in the center of for the last three days.
Maybe I could get away with getting myself off in the shower when I went to change. Except he’d know. Without ever saying a word, he’d know.
Damn, why did I ever agree to his deal? Sure, I wanted to explore the dark world of the BDSM, and for sure I wanted to explore it with him. Agreeing to allow him to control me was downright stupid. I should have known he wasn’t going to tie me up and do dirty things to me.
But a girl could fantasize.
“Bella, you are looking so feisty and beautiful today. Tell me our oh, so manly Grayson has lifted his ban on your orgasms?”
Ilario snuggled up to me from behind and wrapped his arms around me, caressing my breast and grinding his always-erection into my butt. How I wanted to drop right there onto the floor and let him have his way with me. His way was always fun and very satisfying.
I leaned into him and sighed. “Oh, you know he hasn’t. He’s doing his very best to torture me.”
Ilario released me and ran the back of his finger down my cheek. “How can he stand to see you suffer so?”
“He thinks it’s good for her.” Cade walked in and winked at me. Damn Dom in training.
“Ugh, not you too. It’s not good for me.” I didn’t throw off my mantle of being Stepford wife material so some jerk that I happened to be in love with could tell me what to do. Unless of course it was in the bedroom, or the kitchen, or the garage.
“A woman such as yourself should have at least three orgasms every day to stay healthy and happy. This is why you have the three of us, no?”
“Maybe, but she’ll do what he says because they both want that. Isn’t that right, Angel?” Cade said.
I chose to ignore him all together. “Damn straight, Ilario. “You should let Gray know your theory.”
He stepped away and crossed his arms, shaking his head. “Your Grayson has theories of his own.”
My Grayson wasn’t really mine. Yet. “Don’t I know it.”
Somewhere along the way I’d let Gray slip into the role my ex-fiancé, or really every other man in my life, had until a few months ago. Someone who could tell me what to do and have no other expectation but that I would meekly do it.
Payaso. Why did I do that?
Because Cade was right. Gray and I were meant to play these roles. But were we just playing?
This whole dominance and submission thing was throwing me off kilter. Sexy as hell, but it was messing with my brain.
I was on a mission to take control of my life, and that included a serious sexual revolution. My sexy-nista transformation was well under way, but the rest of me was a long way from true independence.
Viva la Angelina!
“Do you want to help me with something?” Gray wanted me to do something productive and I’m pretty sure he meant find a charity or go to school. For being the one man who was willing to help me break the chains of societal expectation he sure had fallen back onto them with his own expectations of me. Screw. That.
Ilario snuggled back up to me, always needing that reassurance of touch. “If we cannot fuck, what will we do?”
I put my hand over his before it could find its way to the fun places. “Find something... productive to do.”
“What is this productive thing?” He looked down at my pants and back up.
Poor guy was suffering more than me on Gray’s no sex ban. I think he was ready to defy the orders and break all kinds of rules.
Me too, just not those ones. “Have you ever been to a BDSM club? Played with a real Dominatrix?”
“Yes, the sex club is very fun for me. Are we going to one? This will be much fun.”
“You can help me then.” It’s what got me into this no orgasm mess in the first place. Gray and his cohort, Foster Bennett, decided I didn’t know anything about anything. If I wanted to pursue the idea of being a Dominatrix, I needed to be trained up in the lifestyle for real. Not this faux, no orgasms routine. But real experience
“I think Grayson would not like if we went to a club. Maybe we can play the Dominatrix game here in your home?” Ilario glanced around the hallway as if he could find the right place to put a big ole St. Andrews cross.
He smiled. “I think, my bella, that you will need to do much research. I will volunteer to help you.”
“Don’t you have some studying to do?” Gray’s voice sounded from behind us. He leaned against the door jamb wiping his hands on a blackened rag. Calm, cool, and sans the erection he’d been sporting ten minutes ago.
Did he take care of himself or use the power of his will to erase any signs of arousal and attraction for me?
Ilario either didn’t hear the underlying growl in Gray’s question or he chose to ignore it. “Of course, but I can still help our Angelina with her pet project.”
Gray nodded. “That’s very kind of you, but I’m sure she wants to do this on her own.”
I opened my mouth to protest but the look I got from Gray was the same one when he promised me a punishment of the not fun kind. I’d stand up to him... later.
“Thanks, Ilario. I do want your help. I’ll let you know when I’ve got something together. You’re right. I have a lot of research to do.” I winked at him, hoping to break the tension building in the little hallway.
He took the hint and nodded. “As you wish.” He kissed me on the cheek. “I will do my studies now, let me know when you want my help, bella.”
Ilario went upstairs leaving me to the brooding Mr. Gray.