I had lots of sex, more sex, and then some more sex in the next few weeks. I got to know each of the guy’s turn-ons and few more of my own... like nipple clamps. I tried out more positions than a Gumby Doll at an acrobatics competition. If there was a training camp for the kinky sex Olympics, I was in it to win it.

I got tons of practice being in charge of the encounters, thoroughly enjoyed learning to be submissive for Cade, occasionally for Dominic, and wore out at least three pairs of leather restraints on Ilario. I had a damn good time having three men fulfilling my every sexual whim.

Well, a pretty good time.

None of my orgasms were as good as the night Grayson watched me getting fucked by two men. The one-night stand that started this whole adventure.

I’d done a lot to get that feeling back and it wasn’t working.

Gray didn’t come back into the harem, but I saw and heard him talking to each of the men, conversations that always stopped or obviously changed when I came in the room.

We, on the other hand, were not on speaking terms.

He spent a hell of a lot of time in the garage with the cars.

The guys treated him like the fucking Godfather.

I missed him. Before any of this new seductive world of doing and having everything I wanted, sexual or otherwise, Gray and I had been friends.

I thought for the blink of an eye we were going to become something more. Half of this whole harem idea was to make him jealous anyway.

I’d honestly thought he would want to join in my fun. Maybe even send the men away so he could have me all to himself. The reality turned into Grayson ignoring me.

Even Jim was back on security detail. Not at night of course. Poor guy had seen me naked once, and that was enough for both of us.

I plopped down into my office chair and put my feet up on the desk, which made me smile knowing my father would have flipped out. I chewed on the end of a pencil staring out the window.

The guys were all at school today and I had nothing to do but brood. This whole freedom and independence gig wasn’t all that and a bag of chips.

“What is going through that pretty mind of yours, Mistress Angelina?” Ilario came in and settled on the couch across from me. The concern in his voice sounded like the Gray of old. A friend, not the bastard he’d become as of late.

A twinge, like heartburn, but sadder, hit me.

Ilario wasn’t Gray. I liked Ilario. I had fun with Ilario, I had orgasms with Ilario. But he wasn’t Gray.

“Not a god-damned thing.” I sighed and dropped my feet to the floor. “I’m bored out of my skull.”

This was the first I’d seen of any of the guys all day. It was their first full week at the university and they had other things to worry about besides me. I guess I was feeling a little abandoned too. Which made me feel guilty.

It was cute to see Ilario with all his textbooks spread out across the floor of his room. Cade was very serious about completing the rest of his architectural degree in the year he had here, and Dominic couldn’t believe how big the university’s classes were. They were all so damn grateful not to worry about how to pay for their education, room, and board. At least I had that.

“This is the first time in as long as I can remember that I don’t have some committee to be on, or a charity to throw a fundraiser for, or some cocktail party to plan. I didn’t realize how much time being the social good girl took up.” I very neatly avoided talking about how lonely I felt.

“Would you like me to pleasure you, mistress?” Ilario crossed the room and sat on the edge of the desk.

“You’re sweet, but maybe later.” To be honest, I was a little orgasmed out. A tragedy in itself.

Ilario’s eyes traveled up my legs, stopped and paid special attention to my boobs and had genuine interest in them by the time he made it to my face. The guy did wonders for my ego.

“Would you like me to help you find a new project?” he offered.

It was so important to Ilario to feel needed. I was sure that was at the core of his submission and I completely understood. I’d committed to these men as much as they had to me and that meant relationships outside of the bedroom too. “I love that you’re offering to help. What do you mean?”

He relaxed, leaning his arms back on the desk and looked thoughtful. “If you are used to doing many things with your time, of course you are bored now. Dominic, Cade, and I can do your bidding, we can challenge your body, but we are not here to challenge your mind.”

I sat up and dropped my feet to the floor. A huevo, he was right. I’d expected the harem to be my everything. It had been tons of fun setting it up, and Lord knew it had been fun to play with the guys. My original plan was to be their Domme.

It hadn’t exactly turned out that way. Partly because Gray had taken charge where I couldn’t.

Of course he had.

I didn’t know squat about being a Dominatrix. Porn videos aside. If I wanted to become one, I needed to do more than fool around with one and a half submissive men.

I needed to learn what make guys tick. What turned them on. Why were some submissive and others so alpha-liscious.

Maybe in the process, I’d learn what made Gray tick too.

The need inside me to prove that I was more than the simpering chubby girl who needed a full-time bodyguard was still there. A ménage one-night-stand hadn’t fulfilled it. A whole harem of men hadn’t either. I needed to think bigger. Much, much bigger.

I stood up and hugged him. “When did you get so wise?”

He hugged me back and gave a lingering nibble to my earlobe. “I am, how do you say, a smarty smart-pants.”

I laughed, something I hadn’t done enough of lately. “Yes, you are.”

His hug moved from my back and down to my ass. “So, what will be your project?”

I let his hands wander and considered how much having this group of people around who supported me, believed in me, had changed my life. I was a stronger, happier person in just a few weeks.

On the other hand, everything I’d done on my own had gone to hell in a handbasket. I had thought being the bad girl would mean no friends, and I had definitely cut ties with all my former girlfriends. I also thought it would mean dirty, but mostly meaningless, sex. Not real relationships.

But what I had with Ilario wasn’t meaningless, and I could say the same of Dominic. Cade still hadn’t shown us his inner ooey-gooeyness, but I wasn’t sure he showed that to anyone.

Then there was Gray. Our relationship was...weird at the moment, but I had no doubt he was there for me when I needed him.

I was far from being the fat, simpering ingénue of a few months ago. I had resources and I knew how to use them to get what I wanted.

For my new idea, I would rely on those resources. I was going to get help.

“Inviting you guys was step one. I just now realized there’s a step two, and three, and twenty-three. I think you and the other guys are going to enjoy it as much as I am.” Oh, yes. It would be fun all right, and if I approached it right, Gray would have to help me.

I left Ilario and went in search of the key to my plan. I found him in the garage. Of course.

Now to make the key fit in my lock. That sounded dirtier in my mind.

I pulled down my shirt to reveal a bit more cleavage and smoothed my hands down my jeans. Not that he noticed. “Grayson. I need your help.”

His head was buried under the hood of a car and he didn’t bother to come out. “Don’t you have a whole harem for that?”

The sound of his voice, sardonic though it was, went straight down my spine and circled around to create a warm feeling in my stomach. I wanted to reach out and touch him, take some comfort there. Our encounters had been brief and stilted since the first night he’d left me alone with the harem.

I’d decided to change our dynamic. Now I was reaping the consequences. I couldn’t allow myself to believe we would ever go back to the way they were before.

Nothing would change between us if I didn’t even try to get what I wanted for myself or from him.

“I’m ready for phase two of my plan.”

Tools clinked and clanged. He could have fixed the Hubble telescope by the time he responded. “Huh. I’m almost afraid to ask. But what’s phase two?”

I knew he was trying to act like he didn’t care, but, I was excited anyway. This would draw him back into my web. “A big project.”

More clanging and banging, but his head finally made an appearance. He wiped his hands on a rag and leaned back against the car. “Forming a harem isn’t big enough?”

It should have been. It took days of planning, weeks of research, and a month to execute. I needed way, way bigger. Something tough, that didn’t happen overnight because I had the money to make it so.

Here it came, the big reveal. “Tell me about your sex club.”

Gray’s eyes narrowed and bordered on a glare. “Are you talking about a distraction or a project, naughty Angel?”

Was that interest in his voice? I’d forgotten what that sounded like coming from him. I waved off his concern. I didn’t need him guessing at my ulterior motives. “I don’t want to go. Well I do, but for research.”

He folded his arms and crossed one leg over the other. “For what, more sexcapades with the puppies?”

I almost snorted at Gray’s nickname for the guys. Didn’t do any good to inflate his ego by playing to it. “No, I’d like to get some training. In real BDSM. Learn to be a Dominatrix.”

“It’s not that kind of place.” Gray’s tone turned gruff. “Foster Bennett doesn’t train anyone unless they are on their knees in front of him.”

Gulp. I couldn’t help but imagine myself on my knees, the mysterious Foster Bennett wasn’t who I envisioned kneeling for.

“As fun as that sounds, I’d still like to talk to him. I don’t want to deal with any of the elite madams or escort service providers. They work with people from the world my father lives in but pretends isn’t there. There have to be people with money who aren’t so uppity.”

“You mean people who’ve worked for it instead of inheriting. New money has its own society too, babe. I’m not sure you’d be welcome.”

This was the old Gray I knew. He never used to pull punches with me and I trusted him because of it. We’d lost that somewhere in the last few weeks.

He was right, I needed to have something to offer that would be valuable to the nouveau riche, if I was going to be accepted by them. “The disgraced daughter of the ivory towers can dish out all the gossip about the dirty laundry of Fifth Avenue’s kings and queens. That must be worth something.”

“You’re still thinking about the world you came from. The people you want me to introduce you to don’t respect gossip and backstabbing. They aren’t into the politics. They work hard and play harder. Which is why the Asylum exists. They pull themselves up by their bootstraps, not Prada sandal straps.”

That stung. Even more so because he was right. I didn’t have a clue what life was like without money. I didn’t have anything to offer Foster in exchange for training me to be a Dominatrix.

Maybe I could suck his dick, without Gray watching.

I’d hoped by bringing the subject up he’d tell me no one else would be allowed to train me in BDSM except for him.

But I don’t think he could. He was in charge. End of story. I was asking to learn how to be in charge. That left no place for Gray.

Shit. I hadn’t thought of that. How could he be in control of me while I controlled someone else?

It sort of worked with the harem. Except totally not. Gray was never around. Not how I wanted him to be.

“That’s why I need your help. Can you get me in to...what’s it called again?” I knew perfectly well what it was called. This was giving Gray the upper hand.

He folded his arms and narrowed his eyes at me. “The Asylum.”

“Like mental?”

The easy conversation and stupid small jokes between us were how we used to be together. I hoped he’d take the bait. I needed to find a way to keep it there, or at least remember what it felt like so when I missed him, I could pull it out like a photograph.

Gray stood and turned back to the car, avoiding looking at me when he spoke. “No, like sanctuary for people who like dark, kinky sex.”

My body jerked, wanting to move toward him, to connect again. “I like kinky sex.”

His head went back under the hood and his voice should have had a tinny echo sound to it, but the low rumble was unmistakable. “You have no idea, baby.”

I’d stirred the heat up, but we were back to the flippant and distant Grayson. Sigh. One step forward, one giant leap for mankind back.

A new temper flared in me, I could taste it in the front of my mouth. The bitter flavor of irritation, indignation itched to spear Gray’s righteous attitude.

“You’re the one who—”

No. Gray may have steered me toward the path I was on to find the real me, but I’d chosen to step onto it and keep to it. I wouldn’t blame him for not liking my choices.

“Look, we can argue all day and into the night about this. I know you don’t like who I’m becoming, but I do. I’m going to The Asylum. I’ll go on my own if I have to, but I’d rather go with you.”

I didn’t give him a chance to strike back. I was too wired with the adrenaline of what I’d just said.

I did like who I was becoming, and I could continue to do it without Gray if I had to. It would be horrible if I did, but I could do it.

I would be a lot more fun and exciting with Gray by my side.