I wake up two minutes before my alarm, switching it off before it wakes Emerson. Wrapped up in my black sheets, her naked body is like a beacon in the middle of my bed, calling to me. After last night, Emerson passed out in exhaustion, and I followed. I don’t think I’ve ever slept so peacefully.

With both of us finding many reasons for why we shouldn’t be together, I thank the universe neither of us have listened. Even though I don’t deserve her--ot now, not ever--I can’t see myself letting her go. In fact, I’m certain I’m falling head over heels, which means there’s only two ways this could really go. Together we can blossom, or together we burn. Choosing not to think of the latter, I remind myself to only indulge in thoughts of the here and now. And right now I’m in a bed with a woman whose body fits perfectly with mine. Hard, soft, fast, slow. Emerson Lane was made for me.

I wrap myself around her like a vine, my hands kissing her skin. One cupping her breast, the other resting on her stomach. My dick nestled comfortably on the seam of her arse.

“Mmmmm,” she moans. “What are you doing?”

“It’s time for your Jagger Michaels’ fairytale.”

She turns in my arms, throwing her leg over my angled body, spreading herself wide. “Can, I kiss my prince?” she asks.

My hand slides down to her pussy, my fingers caressing her clit. “I’m not a prince, baby.” I purposefully hold off on using pressure, knowing the light touches will drive her wild. “I’m a fucking pauper.”

“It doesn’t matter if you were the devil himself, I’d still want you.” Her hips move, begging for friction that isn’t there.

Kissing below her ear, I suck her earlobe into my mouth. She mewls in desperation and I rub her a little faster. “That better, baby?”

“More,” she pants.

Slipping between her folds, my fingers make their way inside her. Wet and slick, she coats my fingers with every thrust, undulating against me. Surprising me, her hand circles my shaft. I hiss as my cock fucks her hand, and she furiously fucks my fingers. Putting pressure on her bundle of nerves, like a detonator it pushes her to the limit until she shatter in my arms. “Put me inside you,” I order, wanting to feel the remnants of her orgasm around me. Swapping my fingers for my cock, I bring them to her mouth and slip them inside. She tastes herself, and I taste her. Licking the inside of her lips, my tongue reaps the rewards, devouring the exquisite blend of my two favourite places: her pussy and her mouth.

Her eyes are hooded, clouded with lust, while I’m trying to control the urge to move hard and fast. Instead, my thrusts are long, slow and deep.

After last night her body may never forget me, but after this morning I want to make sure her heart never does.

I hook my arm under her leg, pushing it against her body. Together we pick up the pace, our breathing laboured, the noise of our skin slapping growing louder with every thrust. Lowering my head to her tit, I circle her taut nipple with my tongue, and then graze it with my teeth.

“Harder, Jagger, please,” she begs. Her desperation has me wanting to climb inside her.

At her request, everything becomes more needy, more feral. The mixture of her moans and whimpers stirs me on.

“I can’t get enough of you, Em. It doesn’t matter if it’s fast or slow. It’s never enough.”

Licking and sucking my way up to her mouth, I tattoo myself on her skin the only way I know how. She’s like a canvas, red and marked.

“Oh God. Jagger, I’m so close.” We rock, harder and faster, while our kiss obliterates all reason and rhyme. Ready to explode, my fingers stroke her clit.

One.

Two.

Three.

Together we jump. Together we fall.

With Emerson I feel like I’m on borrowed time. Like all good things must come to an end.

Whispering in her ear, I lay my claim on the only thing I’ve ever wanted. “I’m going to find you in the next life too.”

* * *

Staying in for Friday night football, Hendrix and I have a much needed guy’s night with beers and bets while we watch our team destroy the opposition.

‘Pizza for dinner?” he asks me at half time.

“Yep. Pepperoni, and can you add stuffed crust to it?”

He nods, already on the phone waiting to place the order.

So, I’ve been meaning to tell you something.” Finishing off the phone call, he sits on the recliner opposite me. “I’m thinking of packing up and living overseas for six months. What do you think?”

Don’t go. “What brought this on?”

“A lot of things. Namely, Sasha.”

“Is it that bad you need to move countries for it, though?” I’m skeptical that this could be the answer to all his problems, worried he’d only be running and then returning to the same thing.

“It’s the only way I can do it. Out of sight, out of mind. Otherwise, she’s everywhere I turn.” Rising, he starts to pace across the room. “I was never going to leave until you came out, but now you’re here, and everything is better than I could’ve hoped for... They’re your family, Jagger, and I’m ready to give them back.” His voice cracks at the end, the reality of what he’s said hitting us both for different reasons.

“Drix, I can’t thank you enough for taking care of them for me, and I’m sorry it got so complicated.”

“You have nothing to thank me for, bro. I would do it all again for you.”

Taking  a moment, I hide my head in my hands and thank anyone who will listen for giving me Hendrix as a brother.

“So, what did I miss between you and Sasha that seems to be irreversible?”

“Honestly, it’s been fifteen years of nothing but heartache and disappointment. We hate each other, we love each other, and then we hate each other again, and I don’t want to live like that anymore. I don’t want to feel guilty for being happy without her, when she doesn’t want to be happy with me.”

I’m frustrated for Drix. He isn’t a man of many words, and I know he’s reached his absolute limit. “Bro, I feel like this is my fault.”

“What’s with you, man? Just because you went to jail doesn’t mean I’m going to blame you for every fucked up thing in my life. There are things I can blame you for and I did at the time. But now Sasha and I need to take responsibility for our actions. We only see the worst in one another, and we’re missing out on life fleeting past us.”

“So, you’re just going to leave?” I clarify.

“It’s not like it’s happening tomorrow.”

“And Dakota?” I drop her name selfishly, because as much as he’s happy to give my family back, my family includes him.

“I’ll miss her the most, but she’s hooked up on social media, and so am I. There won’t be time for us to miss one another.”

Processing it all, I know anything other than support is selfish, but it doesn’t mean him leaving won’t sting. He has put his life on hold for me, and it’s taken its toll. If he needs something in return, I won’t hesitate to give it back.

The doorbell rings, the delivery guy announcing his arrival and giving us a small reprieve from our conversation.

‘“Your cool to eat out of the box, yeah?” He asks, handing me my pizza.

I don’t even bother answering, eating my first slice in silence instead.

“Off topic,” he blurts. ”Do you think you can ask Emerson if there’s anyway to can get around your Working With Children’s Check?”

“I’ve already looked into it,” I say, surprising him. “Don’t be so shocked it’s not the first or the last time we’ve had the same thought.”

“What did you find out?”

“Well, if I only had drug convictions then they would overlook it, but grievous bodily harm by criminal negligence, better yet against a child. My child. They’re not willing to give me any privileges.”

“But you can volunteer?” he says sarcastically, irritated by the government’s logic.

“They write it down as community service hours,” I remind him.

“Can’t you show them proof of your positive relationship with Dakota now?” He’s persistent, and I know eventually I’ll have to get Emerson to tell him to let it go. “What about her quick recovery and no permanent damages?”

“Drix, I don’t want to piss anyone off and get the few good things I have going for me right now taken away. Not to mention having to make Sasha relive that.” His face twists, probably remembering the way she was that night. “When I got carted off in the police car, I was frantically trying to find out what happened to Dakota. And they wouldn’t tell me.” My jaw clenches at the memory. “For days, they hung that phone call like fucking fish bait, keeping all their cards close to their chest. For all I knew, that bullet perforated an artery and she was dead.”

Twelve years later and my heart still sinks to the bottom of my stomach thinking of the possibility that one shot could’ve killed her. “It wasn’t until they finally believed my confession and slapped me with three convictions that they told me she was okay.” Receiving good news about Dakota had been the happiest I had ever been in my whole time away. “When I found out the therapy she would need and thought of her journey to recovery, I fucking got away scot free. I didn’t have to see my daughter suffer, and I deserved to. I don’t want to cause Sasha anymore stress, especially not for a little bit of money.”

Hendrix nods, but I see his mind gearing up for an argument. “I understand where you’re coming from, but think of the life you could provide for Dakota with a more permanent job. If I leave, that job could be yours.”

“I know. What you say has merit, and that job offer would change my life, but volunteering is enough for me right now. It’s like I’m still paying my penance.”

“You paid it Jagger. So many fucking times over.”

“Not in a way that’s ever going to ease my guilt. I don’t expect you to understand, and I pray you never ever have to. But I didn’t think I’d be able to reach the level of happiness my life sits at right now, and I don’t want to fuck with it.”