“Do you think Emerson will be okay with us visiting her at work?” Dakota asks.

I know she’s going to be ecstatic that I took the plunge to leave the house. I may have lured Dakota with promises of whatever fast food she wants, but there was no way I was going to be able to come here without her. She’s my familiar place. My comfort, and I’m man enough to admit that.

“I think she’s going to be really happy about it,” I assure her.

Getting off at Martin Place Station, Dakota insists she can read the map and will lead the way. Letting her have fun with it, I walk beside her and make sure we don’t bump into anyone. The city is packed with commuters, some ready to leave for the day and others getting ready to start out their night.

“We came here on a school excursion last year,” Dakota informs me.

“What was the excursion for?” This is my favourite thing to do with my daughter. Whenever something triggers a memory, she lets me know the whole story and then some. Besides her size and age, somedays her storytelling has me believing I didn’t really miss a thing.

“It was an end of year reward for students who’d been at school every day of the year.”

“So, you got to go?”

“Of course. I love school,” she exclaims. “I got to pick any food I wanted, we went to Timezone, and we watched a movie.”

“Which movie was it?”

“Beauty and The Beast.”

“They remade it?” I question.

Yes.” She lights up in excitement.

“That good?”

“So good, Dad. Emma Watson plays Belle--she also plays Hermione in the Harry Potter Movies--but she played Belle perfectly. I even made Mum buy me the DVD. We should watch it sometime.”

“That and Harry Potter, our list is growing.”

“Okay,” she says cutting me off. “This is it. Do you know which floor she’s at?”

“We can check out the signs near the elevators. Come on.” We walk up the steps that lead to the building. The entrance is flooded with people. “Let’s move to the side so we don’t walk into people while we’re trying to figure out what to do next.” Shuffling to the edge of the crowd, my eyes zero in on a familiar brunette. She’s talking to someone, but I can’t see who.

“Dad, that’s Emerson,” Dakota points out excitedly. “Lets go and see her.”

We get closer, and my heart starts to beat frantically. She’s angry. Arguing with someone. Noticing me, she has panic written all over her face, and my gut knows which motherfucker she’s talking to. I see rage before I see him.

She walks away, beelining for me, when a meaty hand latches onto her bicep and yanks her back. Shaking her head, she warns me, but it’s useless. He’s a fucking dead man.

His face comes into view, and I lunge for his shirt. Grabbing him by the collar, I push him into the brick wall behind him. “You can’t fucking help yourself, can you?”

His eyes widen in fear, and then recognition sinks in.

“If you touch her again, I will fucking kill you,” I roar.

“What because your touch is better?” he taunts. “You’re nothing but a fucking junkie. A rap sheet that goes for days.”

“Yet she still doesn’t want you, right?” I pull him toward me and slam him into the wall. “Isn’t that what it’s all about? You’ve had your eye on her since the moment I met you.”

“She’s cleary just interested in gutter trash.”

His eyes veer to the side. “Oh, is that your daughter?”

Pulling back my arm, I line his face up with my fist, wanting to murder him for even mentioning her.

“So glad she’s here, and you didn’t kill her.”

“Jagger,” Emerson interjects. “Don’t listen to him. He’s trying to fuck with your head.” Her fingernails dig into my bicep as she attempts to weaken my hold on him. “We have to go. People are going to start calling the police.” Unclasping each of my individual fingers from Joe’s shirt, Emerson uses all her strength to create a gap between his body and mine. Palms on my chest, she pushes me backward and pleads for me to listen. “Jagger, baby. You have to get the fuck out of here, please. This place is swamped with police.”

Like a dog with a bone, Joe steps towards me. “Listen to your girl, tough guy.”

I reach over her shoulder to grab him, and he takes a quick step back, my hand cutting the air instead.

”Dakota, honey, hold your dad’s hand.” Small, trembling hands slide into mine. Emerson is right. It’s the only reminder I need. Glancing down, Dakota’s fear-filled eyes slice right through me. This should’ve never happened in front of her.

“Here.” Emerson shoves a heavy set of keys into my empty hand. “Go to my place. I’ll meet you there when I’m done.”

I can’t read her right now, the look on her face unrecognisable. “Em.”

She shakes her head. “Not now.”

* * *

I turn my head towards the sound of the apartment door unlocking. Weary and defeated, Emerson walks in with the world on her shoulders.

In  a practiced move, she places her bag on the bench and takes a bottle of water out of the fridge. “Does anybody want a drink?”

“No, thank you.” Dakota answers, filling in the awkward silence.

“Jagger, can we talk in my room for a minute please? That okay, Dakota?”

“Yes. I think my favourite show is on now anyway.” She grabs the remote.

Taking Dakota’s agreement as permission, Em heads for her room, and warily I follow.

She sits on the edge of the bed and removes her heels, one by one.

Ripping off the bandaid, I blurt out our only solution. “We should break up.”

A throaty laugh leaves her mouth. “Sorry, what?”

“We knew this wasn’t going to work out,” I continue. “Before I disappoint you anymore, or better yet, end up back in jail. I’d rather just end it now.”

“You think I’m mad at you?”

“You’re not?”

“I am. I’m also mad at myself and Joe. I’m mad he now has this over you. Above all, I’m fucking livid Dakota witnessed the whole thing.

As she solidifies all my thoughts, it proves to me even more how right my decision is. “I still think we need to end it.”

“How about you give it a few days? Time to process before either of us make irreversible decisions.”

“No.” I take a seat beside her. “Three out of the five things you’re upset about were avoidable. And I went in, all guns blazing without giving a second thought to the consequences. I got so angry. And I was right there, at the edge of the cliff, looking over. And if you and Dakota hadn’t been there, I would have jumped and landed back in lockup. I’m no good, Em. Can’t you see that?”

She places her hand on my thigh. “You were protecting me, Jagger. Your heart was in the right place.”

“My heart is always in the right place, Em.” Intertwining our fingers, I selfishly keep her close to me, knowing I’m about to break both our hearts. “It doesn’t change a fucking thing. I always end up hurting someone.”

“I think you’re looking at it wrong.”

“For the first time in a while, I’m looking at it right. I’m don’t want to keep waiting around for hindsight to learn my lessons. I want to avoid putting the people I love in these situations. When you keep apologising for the same thing it means you’re either stupid or not really sorry. And I’m not either of those things.”

“So one thing happens and everything between us suddenly means nothing?”

“No.” I pull her up so we’re both standing, facing one another. I grab her face and make sure she’s concentrating on me and all I have to say. “I’m doing this because you mean everything to me. You’re better than what happened today. You don’t need anyone to try and bring you down with all their flaws. And I won’t be that person.”

Tears begin to fall down her face and my thumbs continuously skim her cheeks, wiping them away.

“You’re really ending this?”

“You’re so bright and beautiful, Em. Your heart is so big, and I have never ever felt as full and happy as I have with you in my life. But I have to give that up. I will give up a life of happiness  if it means you’re safe, and happy, and not settling for second best.”

Her hands circle my wrists. “I won’t be happy without you. How can you not see that? These last few months are the happiest I’ve ever been. So, I hope you know that the happiness you’re so eager to give up, you’re giving it up in vain.”

“Maybe, but I’m responsible for my own actions. You can’t just swoop in and try to save me.”

“You think I’m trying to save you?” She shakes her head. “You’ve got it all wrong. I’ve been trying to set you free.”

* * *

The drive home is quiet. I called Hendrix to pick us up as soon as Emerson’s tears became uncontrollable. I couldn’t watch her bleed out, knowing I was the one who cut her open.

Dakota hasn’t looked me in the eye since we left, and I know an important conversation with her needs to come next.

Turning down the radio, Eminem’s voice drowns out, and I ask my brother his opinion.

“Drix?”

“Yeah, bro?”

“Do you think I made a mistake?”

He exhales loudly. “I think you did what you think is the right.”

“That’s not an answer.”

Checking out his surroundings, he changes lanes and jumps onto the m5 Motorway. “Let me ask you something. Isn’t it weird that the right thing for you always feels wrong?”

“I’ve never thought of it like that.”

“You don’t get extra points in the game of life for living in misery so everyone else can be happy. There’s enough pieces of the pie for all of us. Even you, Jagger.”

“That’s a really complex way to say I fucked up.”

“Well, I’m glad you got it. But in case you didn’t and you need me to be less complex.” He glances at me. “You fucked up.”