As we got ourselves situated around the table, the conversation was lively, with Sheri and Judy asking Tristan and Elijah about the grooming business and West about his training in the restaurant.

“You outdid yourself,” Tristan said around a bite of stuffing, and as we all murmured enthusiastically in agreement, he leaned over and kissed West on the forehead. And while it was completely endearing, it made my chest feel weirdly vacant. I wasn’t sure if I would ever truly have what they did, and though it didn’t necessarily make me miss either of my exes, it made me question what was next for me in life.

But certainly, I was also struggling not to be consumed by thoughts of how good Elijah’s warm mouth felt on my cock hours earlier. He currently sat fidgeting beside me, and I wondered if he was having the same problem. Or if he had any regrets. Every time our thighs brushed, one of us would shift away as if everyone at the table could guess our secret.

I mean, damn, I didn’t know what compelled him to do it. We had never hooked up in all the years we’d known each other, through all the drunken nights in high school or college, so what was it about this scenario that had him willingly going down on me? Was it our endless nights of being together? Had our affection for each other grown or changed? That was certainly true on my end, I realized, and it hit me like a thunderclap. I wanted to reach for his hand beneath the table and tell him everything would be okay. That we’d somehow wade through it, together.

As the conversation turned to Elijah’s side business, I struggled through my meal with one hand. I couldn’t cut the meat even though I tried like hell with my fork before giving up and eating the mashed potatoes instead. As Elijah was explaining something about the regular customers he’d begun acquiring, he absently reached over with his own knife and fork and began slicing my turkey.

I bowed my head when I felt red streaks forming across my cheeks, but he just kept talking like there was nothing at all out of the ordinary. Though I appreciated it, he also knew how proud I was—to a fault, definitely. That was precisely why he wouldn’t make eye contact with me now, tacked on to the fact that his mouth had done insanely amazing things to my junk before we came.

“So, Kam, what did the doctor say at your last appointment?” Tristan asked once I had chewed down a piece of delicious turkey. He was always perceptive of things going on around him, so I wondered if he’d caught on to the underlying tension between Elijah and me.

“That I’m healing well and I’ll be mobile soon,” I replied and then stared off as I tried to recall my conversation with the doctor. “He said I could plan on returning to work.”

Elijah’s gaze sprang to mine. “He did?”

Didn’t I tell him about that part of the visit? Maybe because I was so relieved that I had walked out in a thinner knee brace, which made me feel closer to getting my independence back. Except regaining my freedom also meant letting go of the creature comforts I’d grown accustomed to with Elijah in my condo the past few weeks.

“Well, yeah. Plus, I’d hate to leave Jerome high and dry for the holiday season. It’s going to get busy the next three weeks.”

“I get it completely,” Tristan said, his gaze shifting to Chris’s family. After Tristan’s husband passed away, Elijah would tell me how Tristan took barely any time away from his own business, throwing himself into it with gusto. And on a basic level, I understood that. “Do you hire any holiday staff?”

“Not usually,” I replied after a small sip of my wine. I certainly didn’t want to overdo it, but it felt good going down. “Between me, Jerome, and our part-timer, Kelsey, we’ve normally been able to cover the store hours.”

“You’re limping. How are you going to help customers?” Elijah asked in a pitched tone that suggested he was a bit irritated. Where the hell was that coming from? He knew how much I wanted to feel useful again.

“I figure I could handle the phones and Jerome can be on the floor,” I replied, quirking a questioning eyebrow at him. He averted his eyes as his cheeks flushed a scarlet red, finally getting the hint. What in the hell was wrong with him?

“Let us know if there’s any way we could help out,” Tristan replied, throwing me a curveball because it was such a nice offer. “Even if you need Elijah to come over for the afternoon or whatever.”

“Definitely,” Elijah muttered and then gulped from his glass. I wasn’t sure if that would meet my bottom line, but it might help take some of the pressure off if I wasn’t up to jumping back in yet. Even sitting at this table socializing had apparently taken its toll on me.

“I just might take you up on that offer, thank you.”

When Sheri and Judy left the table to prepare the pies they made to serve for dessert, we thanked West again for the amazing dinner.

“So Brin tells me Stewart stopped by again last night,” Tristan said, and I froze beside Elijah. Had he spent time with his ex last night and failed to mention it to me this morning? Anger brewed in my chest, and I had no idea where it was coming from.

He could do whatever the hell he wanted. Their relationship, or what was left of it, had nothing to do with me.

Still, I found myself asking, “Seriously?”

I never heard from Elijah last night, but apparently Brin had.

Was he too embarrassed to tell me?

“Yeah…suppose I forgot with all the stuff, uh—” Elijah’s gaze darted to his lap as I inhaled sharply through my nose.

“So what happened?” West asked, seemingly oblivious to our discomfort.

Elijah took a steadying breath. “He, uh, showed up…and I guess I finally had enough…saw him in a different light, you know? Kicked him the hell out.”

His hand squeezed into a fist on his lap, his jaw strong and taut. He looked so proud, so liberated, and relief rushed like a torrent through me. Maybe what happened between us was his way of taking ownership of himself again…or something.

West lifted his hand in a high five across the table, and my gaze locked on Tristan, whose eyes were crinkled at the corners like he was very pleased. I reached beneath the table and squeezed Elijah’s fingers. “Good for you,” I whispered.

Elijah’s smile was so genuine, it made my heart stutter in my chest. When I looked up, Tristan was watching us with an odd expression on his face, but before I could decipher what that was all about, pumpkin pie was being served.

Shortly after, everyone settled on the couches to watch a holiday movie, but my arm was starting to ache and Elijah noticed immediately that I was beginning to fade.

We said our goodbyes, and by the time I hobbled all the way to the car, I was exhausted. If it took this much effort just to get dressed and go to somebody’s house for a meal, how did I expect to work a holiday season?

One day at a time.

Possibly figuring I wasn’t going to make it much farther on my own, Elijah didn’t even bother to ask my opinion as he helped me to the apartment door. I almost protested but shut my fucking mouth and let him do his thing. He felt warm and solid as I leaned on his shoulder for support.

When we got back inside my place, Elijah helped me slide my jeans and shirt off and get back in bed. He returned a minute later with a pain pill and a glass of water. “Don’t even argue. Today was a good start.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, I threw back the medicine and swallowed the cool liquid.

As soon as I lay down, I felt my eyes closing with exhaustion.

“Thank you…for everything,” I murmured. “You don’t have to do all this, but I’m so grateful you do.”

When he didn’t immediately respond, I blinked open an eye.

He looked so conflicted as he bit his bottom lip and shifted from one foot to the other.

“Kam, what happened earlier…” He trailed off as he struggled to explain. “Dunno why exactly, but I just…”

I didn’t want to see the guilt and regret in his eyes, so I let him off the hook.

“Don’t overanalyze it,” I replied in a drowsy voice. “It is what it is. We’re both single, and I… It felt so fucking good. Don’t want to lose your friendship over it, though. Let’s just leave it at that.”

I heard him breathe out in relief, and though I was glad he wasn’t going to stress over it, my stomach still tightened in response. Was I disappointed that he didn’t want it to be more? Ridiculous. He had just gotten to the point of realizing some things about his ex-boyfriend. No way did I want to be some rebound, or even more for that matter. We’ve been good as friends this entire time; why ruin it now?

“You probably have a lot to do at home,” I said around a yawn as I settled against my pillow. “But if you want to stay, I’m more than cool with that too.”

As I drifted off to sleep, I heard him stretch and then felt him slip beneath my covers. “Ten-minute catnap,” he mumbled, and fuck if it didn’t feel good to have the heat of his body near me again.