Standing at the counter of Spin Cycle, it felt so fucking good to be mobile again and back at the business I had built from the ground up. Jerome had been carrying the bulk of the workload, and I felt terrible about that, but there was little I could do, except maybe offer him a nice bonus or an extra paid vacation.

The only thing that felt off this past week—besides not being on my back, staring at the ceiling—was that my schedule had reverted to pre-accident days. I didn’t need round-the-clock check-ins anymore, and it felt strange not to have Elijah over every night. I could largely manage by myself, but he still insisted on at least stopping by and checking on me most nights. It wasn’t safe to drive myself yet, but my splint would be coming off right after the holiday.

The bell above the door jangled as two men from my riding club walked inside. One of them was an older gentleman who lived nearby and the other was his younger boyfriend. Both were avid riders, and we had done many of the same local races together.

“Wow, look at you,” Sam, the older of the two, remarked. “We heard what happened. Glad to see you’re doing okay.”

“Jerome has been giving us updates,” Lou added, motioning in my manager’s direction.

“You’ll be able to ride again?” Sam asked as he studied my sling. “Compete?”

“Dunno,” I replied, realizing for the first time that I hadn’t thought that far in advance. My goal was simply to feel less stationary. It was like this accident had changed my entire perspective, narrowing it down to the smallest mundane victories. Still, I’d be sure to bring up competing again at my next doctor’s appointment. “I’d definitely miss it. Just have to start off slow.”

I glanced toward my office where Jerome had deposited my bike once it was dropped off by one of the volunteers after my accident. There wasn’t too much damage, except for the front wheel, so that explained how my body had taken the brunt of the fall.

“Did a cat seriously run into the road?” Lou asked with widened eyes.

I almost cracked a smile, thinking about Elijah’s ridiculous puzzle. “Yeah, it was certainly a freak accident.”

I realized that a lot of my anger and depression at the beginning of my recovery wasn’t only because I was laid up and useless, but because I felt like I could’ve somehow avoided the accident, maybe maneuvered my bike better. But what I’d been forced to acknowledge this past month and a half was that there were just some things that happened to you—that were beyond your control.

Like my insane attraction to Elijah? No, it was more than attraction. I was falling for him, and I didn’t know what the hell to do about it. He’d be leaving for the holiday soon, and maybe time apart would help get my brain settled or calibrated or whatever. Because I wasn’t sure what I’d do if he didn’t feel the same way. I also wasn’t sure if our friendship could survive it, and that freaked me out most of all.

My finger absently rubbed against my forehead in the same place he’d kissed me the other night. Logically, I knew it was only a little peck, but somehow, it’d felt more like a brand singing my skin, even through the fogginess of sleep. And when he took the dog and I heard the door click shut behind him, I sagged into the mattress, wishing I had begged him to stay.

The rest of the afternoon I poured over the sales spreadsheets and was pleasantly surprised to find that we were not in the red, and I probably owed all that to Jerome. When I thanked him for the millionth time he only shrugged me off, told me I already had the business running like a well-oiled machine, so it was easy enough.

The day flew by, so when the bell above the door jangled, I was surprised to see Elijah standing there. Though I’d expected him because he’d offered to drive me home, it still felt almost dreamlike in this setting. It had only been the two of us for so many days in the space of my apartment that it almost didn’t seem true. But when he smiled at me in that shy, knowing way and my stomach flip-flopped in response, I knew it was very real.

“Hey, Jerome,” he said, stepping inside the store and taking in a row of bikes. “How’s it going?”

“Good,” Jerome said, lifting a hand in greeting, then returning to cataloguing a new shipment of special orders that had arrived in time for Christmas. “You all set for the holiday?”

“Yeah, heading to my mom’s house on Saturday,” he replied as I started gathering my things.

Hearing that he was leaving struck me square in the gut.

He’ll only be gone a few days.

After they caught up for another minute, Elijah’s gaze met mine across the shop.

“You look good,” he said, glancing at my white button-down shirt and jeans. It felt refreshing to finally be out of those sweats. “Take your time; whenever you’re ready.”

When his smile didn’t reach his eyes, I knew something was off. He seemed distracted as his gaze shifted around the room, like he was troubled about something, and it made my gut clench in a tight fist.

Heading out to his car, Elijah vaguely glanced my way. “Too beat for something different tonight?”

The way he said it made my stomach tilt uncomfortably. Maybe he was bored of our same-old routine while I suddenly craved it. “Done with takeout?”

“Never,” he responded with a smirk. He held the door open for me so I could slide across the seat and balance my splint on the armrest. “Maybe we could eat at Barrios instead.”

Barrios was a low-key Mexican place we frequented pre-accident. The food was good, and the service was always fast.

“Sure, why not?” I replied, even though I was definitely tired. But at least the last couple of nights I was too exhausted to think of much else besides falling into bed early.

After we were seated at a corner table in a very crowded restaurant, I realized the last time we were here was to celebrate Brin’s birthday with a pitcher of margaritas. But now it all felt different. It was as if there was a pre-accident and a post-accident, where everything between us had changed. To return to simple friendship almost felt like something was missing.

Even now, I couldn’t stop staring at his lips across the basket of tortilla chips, wondering what would’ve happened the other night had I taken them in a powerful kiss as he leaned over me, our cocks rubbing together. The vibe tonight might’ve been even more surreal. Or we wouldn’t be here at all. And that certainly did not sit right.

When the conversation faded and he retreated into his own headspace again, I decided to get to the bottom of what was bothering him, even if it had to do with us.

After our meal was served, I tapped his hand to get his attention. “Earth to Eli. What’s going on in that brain of yours?”

He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. “Sorry. I got a call from Ginger’s owner right before I picked you up. She’ll have to move to Chicago to take care of her mother.”

“That’s rough,” I replied around a bite of my taco, still wondering what would have him so out of sorts. “You’ll miss Ginger—is that it?”

“No, she…she can’t take Ginger. Her mom’s place doesn’t allow pets.” My eyebrows knit together. “Silvia asked me to help get Ginger adopted.”

“You’re kidding,” I blurted, finally understanding his mood. He definitely had a compassionate heart, and no doubt he’d be thinking of Ginger in this scenario. But he was also a softie, which was one of the reasons his upcoming visit with his mom was bothering him too, even if he wasn’t saying it. He’d avoided getting to know her as an adult because he couldn’t defend her poor choices in men—nor protect her. But he could animals, and in some ways the similarities were glaring. “What are you going to do?”

“Not sure,” he replied in a far-off voice. “We could post a sign or maybe take her to the shelter in the Valley where Brin volunteers.”

“You wouldn’t consider adopting her?” I asked, wiping my mouth with the napkin, thankful tacos were easy to maneuver with one hand.

“I…I don’t know. It’s bad timing, especially since I’m leaving and she needs someplace to go. Besides, I don’t know if—”

“Why not ask Brin? It buys you more time, and you said Tally and Ginger play well when they’re both at day care.”

“They’re going out of town for the holiday, and Nick will be taking Tally to his mom’s house.”

That solidified the idea that was forming in my head. “Leave her with me.”

“What?” He reared back. “No way. She’ll be too much of a burden after everything—”

“I can manage until you return. You’ve done so much for me. Besides, she’s a good dog.”

He shook his head. “I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can. We’ll make it work,” I said, even though he still looked uncertain. “Please, just think about it.”

“I will.”

He continued to seem preoccupied when he dropped me off at the curb in front of my building.

“You good?” he asked. “Do you want me to—”

“Nah, I can manage,” I said and felt strangely bummed by that revelation. Not that I wanted him to cater to me. Only that I just wanted…him. To hang out. Maybe lie around in bed again and watch TV… But I could do most things on my own now, including taking a quick shower by myself as long as I kept my arm dry, and my mom still helped some mornings and dropped off leftovers from the restaurant too. “Thanks for the ride.”

Before I got out of the car, he rummaged around in the back seat and pulled out the sweatshirt he’d borrowed before Thanksgiving.

“You should throw it in with your laundry,” he said as he handed it to me.

I cracked a grin. “Haven’t washed it yet, huh?”

His cheeks colored. “No, I… Besides, it smells like you.”

My back stiffened. Did he mean what I thought he did?

“Anyway, gotta go and make some calls about Ginger,” he mumbled as he glanced toward the traffic.

Heart battering in my chest, I pushed open the door and climbed out of the car. His gaze was still fixed on the road ahead as his fingers tapped a steady beat against the steering wheel. He either regretted what he said or couldn’t face me right then, and I got it. I’d been tiptoeing around him too. But maybe I was reading too much into his comment as well. So the thing smelled like me—a simple enough statement; why make it into something more?

I lifted the sweatshirt to my nose, took a whiff of Elijah’s unique sweat-soap scent, and knew I wouldn’t throw it in the washer anytime soon.

“And now it smells like you.” I shut the door, my hand shaking.

My heart was in my throat as I walked toward the entrance to my building, and I could feel his eyes on me the whole way. I didn’t dare turn around because I was chickenshit. And even as I heard him pull away, I still couldn’t shake the pinpricks that lined my spine.