There’s a delivery at my door, it’s a large black box. A card is attached to it, so I pick it up and feel the weight of it. I’m actually afraid to open it.
Don’t open near the kids.
I read the first line of the letter and wonder if it’s smart to actually open it. I mean, who starts off with a heading like that.
A gun for a piece.
A piece of your heart.
A bullet for your trust.
A barrel for your love.
As you’re reading, you see that I suck at this. I am trying. This is my most prized possession, I received this after my first shoot. It was the moment I knew I was GREAT at something. This was what I was great at.
Until you.
I carry this piece everywhere, if it’s not with me, it’s near me. I’ve had this since I was sixteen years old, Rose. Sixteen… I’ve never had something that long in my life or loved something that long. Until a dark night, a strange girl sat in the dark. She took my breath away, did you know that? Did you know you did that? No one has done that to me before. NO-ONE.
I’ve never understood you, you were odd, but kind. You were strange but un-mistakenly beautiful.
I am giving you this as a sign, you now hold my most prized possession. What you do with it, is your choice.
I know most people don’t understand me or understand us. I am just starting to. I’m understanding that I don’t want to live in this life without you next to me. I have done it and I didn’t like it.
Meet me tonight, at that place. You know that place. The place where it all started.
Liam – Black
I drop the letter, why would he ask me back there. He knows how I feel about that place. I can’t go back there, I’m shaking at just the thought of it. I read the letter again and again. It calms me, he calms me. I laugh at it, then smile at it. I want to see him laugh, I want to see him smile. I think I’m the only person who’s had that privilege—to see him smile. He doesn’t do it often, hardly ever. And he should, well he should for me. It makes my heart beat fast, my belly fly with butterflies and my toes curl.
I open the case, it’s not a case I want to open. I hate guns, as a matter of fact I despise them. They bring nothing but hurt, pain, and danger. The case is shiny, the inside is fitted perfectly. I don’t know much, but I can see this case was made for this gun.
Broken
It’s inscribed into the handle of the gun. Is that how he sees himself? As a broken man?
I haven’t removed myself from the car. I want to just sit in it and not shift. I can’t even bring myself to look out the side window. I drove here, but I can’t move, I can’t get out.
I don’t know how long I sit there for. I think part of me is in shock, it doesn’t want to move, it doesn’t want the danger that could possibly follow what is to come once I step outside.
A knock comes at my window, my hands slam onto the steering wheel. I scream until I hear his voice.
“Rose.”
“Why would you ask me to come here?” my voice is high, I realize I just screamed that at him. I try breathing slowly, to try to calm my heart down.
“I think you needed to, to come back here with me.”
“I’ve been here once without you, I thought you were dead.” He slowly opens my car door, I hold it so he can’t open it fully.
“You need to be with me. We have so many demons, we need to wash them away.”
“Fuck that! You do it.” I turn to face him, he’s smirking at me. And instantly, my heart calms from being afraid to be happy. “Don’t try to change my mind with that…” my hand points up to his smirking face, “…look,” I finish off.
“Only you can pull…” he waves his hands around, “…this look.”
“Good to know, Casanova of the fucking dead.”
“Rose, let go of the door.”
“I got your gun, why would you send me a fucking gun?”
“Door Rose.” I let go of the handle and he pulls it all the way open. “You can destroy it if you want.”
I give him a blank stare. Because really?
“You sent the woman you want a gun. You do know how fucked that is, right?”
“Do you know you swear a lot?”
I roll my eyes. “You seem to bring out the best in me.”
“That I do.” He eyes me up and down.
“Get your mind out of the gutter.”
“It was in the gutter the moment you opened your dirty mouth, you’re to blame for that.”
“Good job distracting me, Mister.”
“It worked.” He is right. I’m now half out of the car, my mind is not on that place, it’s solely on him.
“Why are we here, Liam?”
“I want to talk.”
“You couldn’t have been a normal person and invited me out for dinner?” His eyebrows scrunch up, and he looks down at the floor.
“Dinner? Is that what people do?”
“Liam, yes… that’s what normal people do. But I guess we’re anything but normal, right?”
“You want normal, Rose?”
“I don’t, Liam Black.”
He grabs my hand, I feel the warmth in it and follow as he leads me up the hill. He comes to a stop at the top, he doesn’t let go of my hand, he squeezes it tighter.
“I think I love him, is that what’s meant to happen?” His question surprises me. Shocks me. “Liam,” he confirms.
“Yes, that’s what is meant to happen. It’s crazy, a love for a kid. It’s different to a love you would share with a partner.”
“It is,” he says turning to me. “Can we put each other back together?”
“I think that’s possible.”
His hand slips into mine and he holds it tightly. “I started working for Sax.” His admission surprises me and makes me happy.
“Can you handle that?”
“Can I handle not doing what I am good at? What I have done for most of my life? I can.” His hand circles around my waist, I cling to him while he looks me in the eyes and smiles as we fall backward. It doesn’t scare me this time, it feels oddly good. We both come up for air once we hit, both still completely dressed, me wrapping myself into him. My head lying on his shoulder as he floats us.
“We can try… we can work.”
“We can,” I say then kiss his lips. They’re soft, he’s being soft. He’s being gentle, so unlike him. I grab his beard, pull on it, and then bite his lip. He smirks against my lips and pulls me to him, then kisses me the way he’s meant to kiss me.
Passion, lust, love, possession. All of what Liam Black is.