Chapter Fifteen
Trace
“I’m still trying to figure out how you scored a woman who can cook as well as Eva,” Sebastian Walker said nonchalantly as he tossed back a whiskey in one gulp.
I hadn’t realized how much I missed Sebastian and Dane until they’d arrived for Christmas. Having Britney around made things tense, but my youngest brother didn’t seem to be hopelessly in love with her. At least I hoped he wasn’t.
Eva had been amazing, cooking delicious meals and charming my brothers until I swore they were both half in love with her, which annoyed the hell out of me. To be honest, she was just being herself, but that was enough to make them both intrigued, especially since she wasn’t exactly the type of woman I usually dated. “I’m a lucky guy,” I replied, looking at both my brothers sitting on opposite sides of the couch in the living room from my seat across from them.
Eva had disappeared after dinner, claiming that she needed to wrap some gifts before retreating upstairs. Britney had said she was tired, and she’d disappeared also, not that I was heartbroken. I’d seen enough of the poisonous bitch to last a lifetime.
It was Christmas Eve, and I’d succeeded in never being alone with Britney for a single minute. Eva had stayed by my side, playing the part of the adoring fiancée so well that I was starting to get used to it. I can’t lie. I loved every minute of her being mine, even though it was a façade.
“You’re very lucky, Trace,” Dane agreed in a low, thoughtful voice. “It’s not easy finding a woman who doesn’t care if you’re rich and doesn’t just want you for your money. I think you can safely say that Eva doesn’t give a damn. I can tell she just wants you to be happy.”
I gaped at him, wondering why Dane thought that. It nearly killed me, but I had to ask him. “Is that the way it is with Britney?”
“Not even remotely,” Dane answered casually.
“You don’t think she loves you?” Sebastian asked, frowning as he rose to pour himself another drink.
I continued to stare at Dane, wondering what was going on in his head. Did he know that Britney was using him?
“Britney is convenient. She’s willing to stay on the island for what I can give her, and she tolerates letting me fuck her. Do either of you think I don’t know she’s using me?” He looked at Sebastian and I curiously.
Hell, my younger brother was way smarter than I gave him credit for. “Then why do you keep her?”
Dane shrugged. “Who else is going to have me? I wanted to get laid, and she was willing to suffer through it if I gave her enough to make up for the inconvenience. I don’t have any fantasies that she cares about anything more than money. She never has.”
There was some bitterness in Dane’s voice, but I was relieved that he wasn’t going to be heartbroken when Britney decided it was time to leave. In fact, it was more than likely that Dane would get tired of her whining and ask her to leave himself.
Sebastian flopped back onto the couch with a full glass. “Dude, no offense, but Britney is annoying as hell, even if she is a fine looking woman.”
I smiled, realizing that Sebastian had finally seen through Britney’s blonde hair and cornflower blue eyes, discovering that there was nothing inside to match the beauty of her exterior.
Dane shrugged. “No offense taken. She’s a raving bitch, and I know it. I think I’m starting to prefer being lonely to having her around.” He turned his head. “Is that what happened with you two, Trace?”
I nearly choked on my drink. Fuck! He knows.
“What?” I lowered my drink from my mouth with a cough.
“Did you get sick of her, too? Is that why you dumped her?”
I let out a huge breath. “How did you know I dated her?”
Dane’s lips smiled, but his eyes were sad. “I might live on an island, but I do get the media. I made sure you and Britney were done before I allowed her to come to the island. I felt kind of bad picking up with a female my brother had broken up with, but it isn’t like I have a huge variety of women to choose from. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” I said in a rush. “It wasn’t serious between us.”
He nodded. “I know.”
I shook my head at the irony that I was trying to protect Dane while he’d been sorry he’d dated a woman I’d been with in the past.
“I didn’t know you dated Britney.” Sebastian sounded pissed. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Maybe because I never catch you sober enough to mention it.” My tone was sarcastic and accusing. I regretted saying the words almost immediately, but I couldn’t take them back. In reality, I’d deliberately avoided telling Sebastian the truth.
I watched as Sebastian’s face went dark, and he took a large swig of his full drink. “At least I don’t have a stick up my ass the size of a giant redwood,” he mumbled bitterly. “I’m sorry that I’m not as perfect as you are, brother.”
I didn’t consider myself that uptight. “I’m not asking you to be perfect. I’m just asking you to try to be better. Stop partying all the time for a living.”
“I don’t need to make a living. I’m a billionaire. You took Dad’s place, so what do you expect me to do?”
“You went to college, Sebastian. I expect you to grow up.” I was angry now, sick of him criticizing me for something that I had to do.
“Why? I’ll never measure up to your expectations. Why try?”
“I don’t have expectations. I’m not Dad.”
I looked at Dane, but he didn’t look ready to jump into the conversation. In fact, he looked perfectly happy to let me fight this out with Sebastian.
“Then quit acting like Dad,” Sebastian answered bitterly.
My anger started to boil. “I can never be him. I never could. I fucking tried, but I could never be quite as smooth. I could never be quite as wise, and I sure as hell will never run Walker as well as he did.”
“You do amazingly well, Trace,” Dane said encouragingly, finally deciding to enter the conversation. “You were young when you took over the company.”
“I took it over because I had to. I was the only one old enough to do it. I thought I was the only one who wanted to do it.” I glared at Sebastian. “If you wanted to take on that responsibility, why in the hell didn’t you say something?”
“Why didn’t you ask?” he threw back at me angrily.
I exploded. “Do you think I fucking wanted this? Do you think I wanted to step into Dad’s shoes after he died? I was only twenty-one years old, and I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. I was stumbling in the dark, trying to finish school while I tried to do his job as the CEO of Walker. I. Wasn’t. Fucking. Ready.”
I didn’t think I’d ever say those words, much less to my brothers. But we were all grown up, and the time for distance between us had to end. We were all broken, and I wanted to see us back in one piece again.
“I’m not that much younger than you. I could have helped,” Sebastian broke the silence, his voice no longer angry.
“All I wanted was for you and Dane to have a chance to grieve, a chance to recover and lead a normal life.” I knew I was breathing hard, trying to get my emotions under control.
“Our life was never going to be normal again,” Dane answered gravely. “I guess we both thought you wanted your position as CEO and you wanted us out of the family business. I was relieved to tell you the truth. I didn’t want to be a businessman. It was never something I wanted.”
I knew that. I thought Sebastian wanted something else, too. I stared at my second oldest sibling thoughtfully as I asked, “And you? What did you want?”
“I wanted my brothers,” Sebastian answered hoarsely. “I wanted Dad back.”
“I wanted that, too. But so many people were depending on me that I knew I had to keep everything under control.”
“You thought you had to stay distant to keep yourself going?” Dane queried.
“Yes. I was on pretty shaky ground for a while, but I didn’t want anyone to know.” I’d been terrified, but I didn’t admit that. “I still miss Dad every single day,” I confessed.
“We all do,” Dane answered. “I think we just handle it differently. For a while, I felt guilty that I lived and he died.”
Sebastian and I both stared at Dane with astonished expressions. My baby brother had been through so damn much. It irked me that he was also dealing with guilt over being alive when our father was gone. “Don’t, Dane,” I requested.
My little brother held up a hand. “I got over that. But it took time. Unfortunately, I think Sebastian has some issues to settle.”
“I don’t—”
I interrupted Sebastian. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never asked what either one of you wanted. I assumed too much. I was overwhelmed.”
“Not an issue for me,” Dane answered, staring directly at Sebastian. “Like I said, I was grateful you took over.”
Sebastian set his drink on the table and let out a large sigh. “I wasn’t grateful. I was jealous. I wanted to be able to be like you, Trace. I wanted to help you, I wanted to be grown up enough to help.”
“Don’t wish for that,” I grunted. “It sucked.”
For years, I’d closed off every emotion I had just to keep control. Eva had been the only one to break through my veneer of calm assurance to see me for exactly who I was. I’d never grieved for my father, and I’d never gotten over everything I’d lost.
“You’re right, Trace. I do need to grow up,” Sebastian admitted as he leaned back against the couch.
“What do you want to do when you grow up?” I asked jokingly.
Sebastian grinned. “Maybe be second in command at Walker? I’m thinking maybe I could buy back in again.”
The last thing my brother would ever be is second at anything. “I’d only accept an equal partnership. You’d have to cough up the money to be a partner.”
Sebastian had studied engineering, and I’d always assumed he’d start his engineering firm. He had, after all, minored in business. Really, he’d make an incredible partner if he gave up the booze and partying.
“I could take some of the load off of you, Trace,” Sebastian said hesitantly. “I think I’d like that. I could head up some of the building projects.”
“I hate that part,” I told him with a frown.
Sebastian grinned. “Sounds like it might work.”
“I’m not moving the main offices back to Texas.” I’d worked for too long to get everything centered in Denver, and I liked it here.
“I’ll sell the property there and work here,” Sebastian compromised.
“It won’t be easy,” I warned, knowing it would be hard to sell the assets he had in Texas, including the family mansion back near Dallas that Sebastian currently owned and lived in—when he was actually home.
“I don’t need easy,” Sebastian rasped adamantly. “I just need a purpose.”
“You have one,” I answered quickly, knowing I wanted my brother with me again. I could see his determination, and I had no doubt he could clean up his act.
Sebastian nodded. “I think I do now.”
I looked at both of my brothers, wondering how I could ever have been so misdirected when it came to Sebastian. Had I done the same with Dane?
As though he could hear my thoughts, Dane remarked drily, “Don’t be thinking I’ll be moving here to Denver. I like my solitude.”
Okay. Maybe I’d been on target when it came to Dane.
“I’ll start working on selling everything off and moving right after the holidays,” Sebastian said eagerly.
I had to grin at his enthusiasm, and my heart felt lighter than it had in years. “So you’re ready to dump your social life?”
I noticed Sebastian’s whiskey was sitting idle, and he wasn’t reaching for it eagerly. I hadn’t seen him take a break on drinking since he’d gotten here.
“It was getting boring,” he answered earnestly. “I’m thinking I might find myself a woman like Eva, settle down eventually.”
“Touch her and brother or not, I’ll kill you,” I growled, only partially serious.
Sebastian raised a hand in surrender. “She’s obviously in love with you. If she wasn’t so hung up on your ass, I’d probably try to lure her away. She makes incredible pasta.”
“She’s more than just a good cook,” I said irritably. “She’s my everything.”
I realized that I wasn’t acting anymore. Eva had come to mean so damn much to me in such a short time. Separating after the holidays were over wasn’t even an option anymore. I needed her, and I didn’t want to imagine what my life would be without her. I think I’d known from the very beginning that I was never going to let her go.
“That’s pretty intense,” Sebastian mumbled. “I don’t think I’ll ever meet a woman I can’t live without.”
“I didn’t think so either,” I confessed. “But sometimes there’s nothing that can stop you from feeling that way.”
Hell, I’d tried. I’d beaten up my punching bag until every muscle in my body was screaming, but it hadn’t flung Eva out of my soul.
“Better you than me,” Sebastian countered. “I don’t want to feel that way.”
“Me either,” Dane added. “How did you guys meet anyway?”
There was nothing I wanted more at that moment than to confess everything about Eva and me. But I couldn’t. We were still trying to put our relationship back together again, and I didn’t want to ruin the progress we’d made by telling them that I’d set everything up with Eva. Besides, like it or not, she was going to be mine.
“Long story,” I answered simply. “But she’s never had it easy, and she deserves to be happy.”
“I like her,” Sebastian said openly.
“Me, too,” Dane added.
I nodded, glad that they liked Eva because they’d be seeing her with me forever.
Convincing Eva to stay might not be easy, but I’d make her love me, and she’d never want to leave. It didn’t matter how hard I had to work to get her to stay. It would be worth it if I could just keep her forever.
What if she doesn’t want to stay? You had an agreement, and she can insist on you honoring it. She’s done her part.
Just the thought of Eva saying goodbye made me crazy. I decided not to think about failure, because it wasn’t an option.
She’d stay. She’d never leave. She’d be mine fucking forever.
Maybe she’d fight the inevitable, but somehow I’d make her see that we belonged together.
And, in the end, I’d win.
I wasn’t as cocky about Eva as I was about business. She was more than business to me now, and she probably had been since the moment she’d boldly walked into my office.
But I would win.
I had to in order to save my sanity now.