Chapter 3
Simon paced his computer lab like a caged tiger, knowing the thoughts he was having about Kara leaving him were probably irrational, but he wasn’t exactly feeling levelheaded at the moment. He’d felt better after Sam had left-his brother had talked some sense into his thick head-but after getting a text from Kara telling him that she would be home later than normal, he’d gotten anxious all over again, expecting the worse. He hadn’t been reassured by her responses to his text messages, which had been incredibly vague. The only positive had been the fact that she had sent him a message telling him she loved him.
I love you so much. I’ll be home soon.
Simon stopped pacing long enough to trace the words she had typed in her text message, hoping they would lighten his mood, give him hope. And maybe they would have, but he spotted that damn premarital agreement on his desk out of the corner of his eye, making him grunt with irritation.
Maybe I should have just signed it if it would make her happy. What does it matter? Is a stupid piece of paper really that important? He’d always take care of Kara, regardless of whatever agreement was signed.
Simon snatched up the contract from his desk and flipped the pages. Gritting his teeth, he picked up a pen and signed his name with angry strokes. Slamming the pen on top of the papers, he muttered, “Fine. It’s done. The world isn’t going to end because I signed the stupid thing.” He was never leaving her, and he’d move heaven and earth to keep her at his side. The damn papers could just rot, collecting dust in some quack attorney’s office, while Simon lived his life with the woman he loved. “I just want her to be happy,” he whispered fiercely, hoping his signature would end her sadness. Kara’s behavior the last few weeks was making him crazy. His woman was usually so serene, so upbeat and positive, even though life had thrown her a very rough deal. It was hell seeing her beautiful face with anything less than a smile. If the prenup was what she needed to bring her peace, he’d sign a hundred of them. Sure, he might not like the fact that Kara had doubts about them, had thoughts about them someday separating, but he’d do whatever it took to convince her otherwise. Maybe she just needed more time. Kara had given him so much, most importantly her unconditional love and support over the last year. If she could put up with his cranky, irritated, scarred self-most of the time without complaint-he could sign a damn paper for her. “I should have done it before,” he said quietly, cursing himself for being so argumentative about something so trivial. He knew Kara was sensitive about their differences in financial positions. He’d hoped she would get over it, begin to consider the fact that what was his also belonged to her, but he guessed she just wasn’t there yet.
“Should have done what?” The husky, feminine voice flowed over him like fine silk, lilting softly behind him.
Simon turned, drinking in the sight of the woman he loved, his heart accelerating. “Should have signed the fucking papers when you wanted me to sign instead of fighting over it,” he told her in a husky voice, needing desperately to have her in his arms, feel her warm softness against him.
Still in her soft pink scrubs, her sneaker-clad feet padded softly around the desk and picked up the papers, sending the pen that Simon had used to sign the documents rolling across the desk. “You signed them?” Kara sounded shocked, surprised.
“Yes. I’m sorry for what I said.” And Simon was sorry. More sorry than he could convey in words, because he’d never been very good with flowery speeches or finding the right words to say to Kara. Honestly, most of the time he was obsessed with his need to possess her, protect her. Tender emotions and sweet words weren’t exactly his forte.
Kara’s gaze flew to his face, scanning his features as though she were looking for something. “Why? I thought you didn’t want this.”
“I don’t.” He shrugged. “But I want you to be happy. I know the money issue bothers you.” He speared her with a dark look. “I signed them for you. But you’re still not leaving me. Ever” And the papers would never be used or important. They were just a damn poor use of trees as far as Simon was concerned.
Kara’s lips turned up in a small smile. Her eyes never left his as she picked up the agreement and tore the papers in two. And then ripped them again. And again. “You’re right. I’m not leaving you. Not as long as you love me.”
His heart racing, he replied, “That would be as long as I’m still breathing. Why are you doing that?” he asked, watching her scatter the little pieces of the contract across the desk.
“Because I never should have let money be an issue between us. I’m so sorry, Simon. So very sorry.” Her voice cracked as she moved quickly around the desk, throwing herself into his arms.
Simon savored the contact, wrapping his arms around her, closing his eyes with relief. He kissed her temple, her cheek, holding her as closely as he could without crushing her. “I shouldn’t have said what I said.”
“I hurt you because of my own insecurities. You’ve never let money be a problem in our relationship, and I shouldn’t have either. You were right. I was wrong,” she murmured quietly against his chest.
Gently, Simon brought Kara’s head to his shoulder, letting her rest comfortably against him. Where she belongs. Where she’ll always belong. “I love you. I just want you to be happy again. You seem so sad. I don’t like it.”
Kara pulled back, but only far enough to look into his eyes. “I’m not sad, Simon. I’m emotional.”
“I’d rather see you be happy emotional than sad emotional,” he grumbled, kissing the tip of her nose gently.
Cupping his cheek softly in her hand, she answered, “You’re an incredible man, Simon Hudson. Always so worried about my happiness, my safety, so willing to sacrifice for me. I love you so much it scares me sometimes.”
Simon caught her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing her palm gently. “I never sacrifice anything for you. I love you. And feel free to love me as much as you want to. You won’t hear me complaining.” Simon couldn’t hide his grin, knowing he would never get tired of hearing how much she loved him, even if she told him a hundred times a day.
Kara smiled softly. “I spent money today. Your money. Um…I mean our money. And I’ve decided that I need a car. Or maybe an SUV. Something…uh…with more space. And I want a long honeymoon. Can we use the jet?”
“Absolutely. Any place you want to go.” Thank God. Simon’s grin broadened as he asked her playfully, “Was it painful?”
Kara didn’t even need to ask what he meant. Simon understood her. “Horribly. I started out on the clearance racks, but I couldn’t find anything I wanted there so I had to move to the regular - priced stuff.”
“Ouch.” God, he loved this woman. “And how did that go?”
“Okay. My hand only shook a tiny bit as I ran my debit card,” she admitted with chagrin. “I even went to get a manicure and pedicure. I’ve never done that before. It felt…weird…but I wanted to try it.”
Simon laughed as he hugged Kara closer, reminded of just how few luxuries this woman had ever had in her life, how few things she had done that many women did on a regular basis and took for granted. “What did you buy?”
“A few things. And um…a new wardrobe. Bigger clothes.” Her voice was hushed, nervous.
“Are you planning on gaining weight?” Not that he cared. She could wear whatever size she wanted, put more meat on her bones. Her curves would be lusher, softer.
“For a while. Oh…hell! I might as well just say it.” She pulled back and put a hand on each side of his head, Kara’s pensive eyes meeting his still-teasing look. “I’m pregnant. We’re going to have a baby. That’s the reason I’m so emotional. I feel like my hormones are taking over my brain.”
Simon’s jaw dropped and his face took on an astonished expression as he looked at Kara, his mouth moving, but no sound escaping. Pregnant? She was going to have his baby?
Emotions rolled through him, one after the other.
Fear.
Happiness.
Anxiety.
And a healthy dose of fierce possessiveness.
“How? Why?” Stupid questions, but they popped out of his mouth anyway, his brain still trying to catch up with his emotions.
Kara burst into tears, large drops rolling down her cheeks as her face contorted with remorse. “I’m sorry. It probably happened when I was sick. I didn’t get enough of the pill in my system because I was vomiting. I should have been more careful. I know you don’t want to be a father right now. But I already love our baby so much.”
Our baby. Our. Baby. His heart slamming against his chest, he pulled her completely against him, rocking her gently. “Shhhh…it will be okay. I…I…oh holy shit. I’m going to be a father.” Intense joy spiraled through him, making his heart swell until he swore it was going to explode.
“I’m sorry,” she wailed against his shoulder.
“Please don’t be sorry, sweetheart. It isn’t your fault. Are you ready to be a mother?” He tripped over the last word, still incredulous that Kara was carrying their child; a baby conceived with so much love that he was ready to burst with pride.
“Yes. I want it so desperately. But I know you don’t. You’ve never wanted to talk about it before except to say you wanted to wait.” She sniffed and snuggled against him.
“It isn’t that I don’t want our child. I just can’t fucking stand the thought of you being in that much pain, that something might happen to you. It’s dangerous. Women can die in childbirth.” Hell, he couldn’t stand the thought of Kara being in pain for any reason. He hadn’t realized that he had actually cut her off, unable to cope with the thought of her going through what she would have to suffer to bear his child. He shuddered, still fucking hating those thoughts.
His emotions warred inside his body. He wanted Kara to have his child with a longing so painful that it nearly knocked him on his ass. However, the thought of anything happening to her was making him demented, maniacal. Simon wanted to wrap her in his protection, never let her out of his sight for a moment. Maybe he wouldn’t. Not for a very long time.
“It’s not dangerous, Simon. Women do it every day. Most women say the pain is soon forgotten once they have their child in their arms.” Her voice was breathless, hopeful. “You don’t mind?”
“I mind, but not in the way that you’re concerned about.” It bothered him because he couldn’t stop thinking about Kara hurting. And he was going to triple her damn security, whether she liked it or not. His woman was pregnant, which made her even more vulnerable. “I want a girl.” A beautiful, sweet replica of her mother. “We need to move. Buy a place outside of downtown where she can have a yard. Maybe a dog. Oh hell, whatever makes her happy. And we need to be in a good area with good schools. She’ll be beautiful just like you, so no dating until she’s at least thirty.” He scowled as he thought about some bastard laying a hand on his daughter.
His heart lifted as Kara laughed, pulling back to smile at him. “I want a boy. A sweet little boy like his daddy.”
“Girl.”
“Boy.”
“Girl,” he growled.
Kara sighed. “Healthy. I’ll be happy if our baby is just healthy and happy. I don’t really care. He or she will be dearly loved.”
Simon felt his eyes moisten, his happiness almost too much to bear, even though he was fucking losing it about Kara’s safety. “Me, too, baby. I’d love to have either one. I just hope the baby looks like you. I’ll love our child so much and give the baby everything I never had.” A stable, happy childhood, security, love. “Are you feeling okay? You said you were emotional. Are you sick? We should see the doctor. What else do we need to do? What do you need? Tell me and I’ll get it for you.” He sounded anxious, desperate. His gut clenched, his protective instincts gnawing at his insides. Kara was pregnant. Simon needed to research the condition immediately, find out what Kara needed to do to stay healthy. Didn’t women need things when they were pregnant, special things? Oh hell, he didn’t know a damn thing about pregnant women, but he needed to change that situation immediately. How could he safeguard Kara when he didn’t have a clue what to do to protect her?
“I need your hot body and some ice cream,” she answered in a sultry voice. “But first I need a shower.”
“Me? You need me? Should we be doing that?” Sex was safe when a woman was pregnant, right? Shit, he really had to look that information up immediately.
“Oh yeah. We should be doing it a lot. I’m horny all the time. Hormones,” she whispered as she gently took his earlobe between her teeth and nibbled.
Christ. He had no control when it came to Kara. His cock throbbed with the need to bury himself inside her welcoming heat. “We should be careful,” he answered, his mind already filled with erotic thoughts, his caveman wanting to take control. My woman. Pregnant. My baby.
Mine. Fucking completely mine.
“I need sex. Lots and lots of sex. Hot, sweaty, crazy sex,” Kara told him emphatically. “And I expect you to meet my needs since you knocked me up.”
Yeah. He had. He’d planted his seed inside her and it had taken root. An animalistic, male satisfaction slammed into him. “How crazy exactly?” Simon shifted, his cock ready to explode inside his jeans. “What’s safe?”
“Any way I want you to fuck me. I’m only at about five weeks pregnant right now. Some women get tired, sick or lose their sex drive during their first trimester, but not me. I want to get laid at least five times a day.” Kara rubbed against him sensually with a small, breathy moan. “Don’t be afraid to make love to me. It’s safe. And I need you. In every way.”
At that moment, Simon wanted to meet any needs Kara had, give her whatever she wanted. “I’ll take care of you, baby. Always. And you’ll tell me how you feel?” If she just wanted him to hold her, cherish her, be close to her, he’d do it quite happily. His inner beast might be snarling because of the way Kara was rubbing against him, but Kara’s needs would always come first.
“Right now I want a shower. I want to orgasm. And I want ice cream,” she answered insistently, moving out of his arms, walking toward the door, her hips swaying sensually.
Shit. How was he supposed to not act like a possessive maniac when he was marrying the sexiest pregnant woman on the planet? “I’m up for that.” Literally. His cock was as hard as granite.
Simon followed in Kara’s wake, catching up to her at the bottom of the stairs and wrapping his arms around her from behind. Hands stroking her still-flat belly, he whispered, “I love you. Ask me for anything and I’ll do it. No questions asked, no negative replies.”
She relaxed, letting her body rest against him. “I thought I just did.” Laughing, she entwined his fingers with hers, both of them covering her stomach protectively. “I just…need you. I feel needy as hell. I’m not myself right now. Please try not to take anything I do or say personally. It’s not you. It’s hormones right now. I think they’re eating my brain.”
“Be needy. Be grouchy. I won’t even tell you not to cry.” Well…he’d try not to anyway. Shit, Simon hoped she didn’t cry a lot. He’d be a wreck by the time the baby was born. “Just don’t ask me not to worry, or be protective, or be concerned about your happiness and safety. I can’t do that,” he growled, his fingers clenching hers.
“You won’t be bossy?”
Simon gulped. “No.” Okay…maybe not quite so often.
“Or demanding?”
Uh…he could manage to tone it down, couldn’t he? “Nope”
“Domineering? Controlling?”
Well, crap. She was hitting him where it hurt. “I’ll try,” he told her sincerely.
Kara burst out laughing, a full belly laugh that he hadn’t heard in more than two weeks, a delighted sound that made his heart soar. She laughed so hard she snorted. “I give you twenty-four hours. Those traits are so deeply embedded in your DNA that you’ll never make it more than a day.” She continued to chortle as she went toward their bedroom, making his mouth go dry as she lifted her scrub top over her head, revealing an abundance of smooth, silky skin.
He chuckled, knowing she was probably right. But it wouldn’t keep him from giving it his best. “A week at least,” he called after her in an arrogant tone.
Her laughter rang out louder, stronger, drifting through the hallway and echoing back to him, making him grin ever broader. Damn it. She knew him too well.
Shaking his head, he walked to the kitchen to get his woman her ice cream.