Chapter 4
Kara let out an audible, heartfelt sigh as she sank deeper into Simon’s garden bathtub, the hot water and bubbles covering nearly her entire body, leaving only her head bobbing above the water. He had offered her the use of his tub in the master bath any time she wanted it, but she had never taken him up on the offer. She had a perfectly wonderful tub and shower attached to her own room, but it wasn’t nearly as elaborate as this one.
Admit it. It isn’t the size of the tub. It’s the fact that it’s his that made you come in here.
Frowning, she grabbed a large loofah sponge from the ledge of the tub and starting scrubbing her arms with enough force to make her skin burn. Damn it. She didn’t want to admit that she missed Simon so desperately that she wanted to use the tub he used, breathe in his scent that lingered in his bathroom.
Refusing to have sex with him was your brilliant idea.
Yeah, it was. But she was seriously re-thinking that decision. It had felt like the right thing to do at the time. She wanted to be with him, secure in the knowledge that he trusted her completely. Not knowing what had happened to him could cause her to make other mistakes, to hurt him inadvertently. She couldn’t stand that thought. She’d hoped he might open up and share his trauma with her, let her help him through it.
But she had been dead wrong.
He had distanced himself, pulled away rather than share his internal torment. He hadn’t touched her, hadn’t kissed her, since she had told him that she couldn’t make love with him unless he told her about the incident. What in the hell had happened to him? Had she pushed him too far, too fast? Would it have been better to settle for only what he was able to give?
I could let him tie me to the bed and fuck me senseless. That way, I can’t hurt him unintentionally.
She groaned as she stopped scrubbing her arms raw and lifted a leg from the water, resting it on a seat at the edge of the tub. God, the thought was tempting. She might be an independent woman, but she had loved his sexual dominance, his take-charge assault on her senses. In some strange way, it aroused her beyond endurance, and he exercised that alpha side of him every single time he touched her. Mixed with his added tenderness and vulnerability that peeked through on occasion, it was an impossible-to-forget lure that sucked her toward him like a moth to a flame.
Simon made her feel beautiful.
He made her feel safe.
God...she loved her primitive, protective, possessive male who had a heart of gold.
Lifting her leg, she ran the sponge over her calf, slowly toward her knee and gently across her thigh. Images flashed through her mind, making the sensitive flesh between her legs pulsate with need and causing her heart to miss a beat.
Being bound to Simon’s bed, at his mercy, his mouth devouring her.
On the couch, her wrists restrained while he rocked her world.
In the elevator, opening to him, him pummeling her until she screamed.
Three nights ago, holding him as he made her come apart.
Oh hell, he was her every erotic fantasy come to life in stunning, glorious color and there wasn’t a thing she didn’t love about him.
A lone tear streaked down her cheek as she switched legs and worked on the other one with the sponge.
Three days. It had only been three days and she was already a mess. The lonely yearning for him was already pulverizing her, swallowing her whole. Not only was he her erotic fantasy, he was her complete fantasy. The whole damn package. She had never met a man like him, and probably never would again.
He was sweet, although he would deny it.
He was tender, although he would deny that, too.
Kind.
Compassionate.
A freaking genius, a man she learned something from every single day, although she definitely knew he would blow that off, too.
Because he was also humble, Simon Hudson didn’t ever see himself as someone special. But she saw him as he was: a man to grab hold of and never let go.
A second tear flowed down her other cheek as her heart crumbled.
She didn’t want to go back to her life before Simon. And not because she cared about being poor. She had always lived in poverty and had never planned to be anything other than comfortable. Secure. Money didn’t buy happiness, and having material things couldn’t even come close to competing with having love, having that one special person who could make her complete, whole. What good were things and money if a person wasn’t emotionally fulfilled, happy with their accomplishments, no matter how big or how small?
I’d feel exactly the same way about Simon even if he wasn’t wealthy. As long as he was happy.
Granted, Simon was too intelligent, too ambitious not to be successful. But there were times when she wished he wasn’t quite so wealthy, didn’t work so hard. But his intelligence, his drive to make his products the very best, were parts of him that she loved. She accepted the whole package, freaking adored the sexy, masculine, quirky bundle of testosterone that made him uniquely...Simon.
Taking a seat on a high ledge of the tub, she closed her eyes as she ran the loofah up her stomach slowly, letting her images of Simon take control of her mind, the elusive smell of him on the scrubbing sponge assailing every one of her senses.
Kara bit her lip as the slightly abrasive loofah slid over her breasts, teasing her swollen, hard nipples. She imagined Simon biting them gently, swirling his tongue over the tips, her erotic thoughts and arousal making her let herself go. Giving in to the pounding demands of her body, she opened her thighs and allowed her other hand to slide up her slippery thigh and begin a decadent indulgence, a fantasy.
If she couldn’t be with Simon in reality, at least she would be with him in her mind.
***
Kara has no reason to stay.
Simon’s gut clenched as he knocked on the door of Kara’s room, waiting for her to answer. Hoffman had called him less than an hour ago, informing him that the police had apprehended the second offender, the other bastard who had tried to abduct Kara.
Cursing under his breath, he pushed the door open, finding her bedroom empty. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw her cell phone and her backpack sitting on her bed. She was home, still somewhere in the condo. She’d never leave without her pack.
Does she know? Had Detective Harris called her? Knowing very well that he shouldn’t, he picked up her phone, thumbing through her missed calls. There was only one that was recent. It had occurred thirty minutes earlier, and it was from Harris. There was a voicemail, but he drew the line at listening to her messages. He already knew what the message was about. She was safe; the men who had attacked her were both locked up.
The reason for her being here in his home with him...gone.
He had to tell her. He might be a selfish bastard, but he wouldn’t let Kara spend another minute fearing that someone was on the loose, trying to kill her.
As far as he knew, she hadn’t suffered another nightmare. God knew that he listened closely every night, left his bedroom door open in case she needed him. She hadn’t.
Dropping her phone back on the bed, he yanked at his tie, undoing the knot completely, leaving the material to drape around his neck. He had discarded his jacket in the kitchen a few minutes earlier when he had arrived home. Uncertainty settled over him like a dark cloud as he exited her bedroom. Would she stay even though the immediate threat to her was gone? And if she wanted to leave, how in the hell could he ever let her go?
Not happening. She’s mine, damn it!
Gritting his teeth, his emotions bouncing between determination and fear, he went in search of her. Most likely, she was in the computer lab. His lips curved upward, wondering if she would badger him for clues in her pursuit of mastering Myth World II. She played his game exclusively, declaring that the other games weren’t as challenging, alternately praising him for being a genius and nagging him for tips. He knew she didn’t really want him to tell her, to spoil the challenge of the game. Hell, if she had really wanted to know, if she had just once turned those baby blue eyes in his direction with a questioning glance, he would have spilled every damn secret she wanted to know about the game and probably some she had never even thought about yet.
He checked the lab, but she wasn’t there. She had to be in the gym. Hesitating as he headed in that direction, he started to unbutton his shirt, heading toward his bedroom. He wanted to get out of this irritating, stiff shirt and pants, throw on some workout clothes and pump iron until his body relaxed. How in the hell he could relax when he saw Kara in her skimpy exercise clothing he didn’t know, but he wanted to be with her, ached to see her.
He wouldn’t blame her if she turned on her heel and left the minute he walked into the room, but he hoped she didn’t. Honestly, he would deserve it. The last three days had been tense, and he had been a complete bastard to her, answering her cheerful questions with one-word, terse answers, practically ignoring her presence when she was in the room with him. Slowly, she had become as withdrawn as he was, speaking only when they had to communicate. Still friendly, but distant.
As he made his way down the hall to his room, he promised himself that he would resolve that issue. He couldn’t take it anymore. Sam was right-for once! He needed Kara, and feeling her move further and further away from him was like cutting off a limb. Fuck! It was more like cutting out his heart with a dull knife.
Ripping the tie from his neck, he dropped it on his bed and finished unbuttoning his shirt. He had just picked both of them up to put in his hamper when he heard her.
Heart pounding, his head tilted to listen. He picked up a whimper, a feminine moan, and then...his name.
“Simon.”
The choked, urgent longing in her husky, seductive voice sent shivers down his spine. The garments in his hand dropped to the floor unnoticed. He moved toward the needy sounds, stopping at the door to the master bath. He could no more turn away from that door than he could stop breathing. The door was closed, but it wasn’t latched. In a daze, he pushed the door open slowly, light steam greeting him as he silently took a step forward and pushed the door wide open.
Holy Christ!
His heart paused, his breathing halted, as his hungry eyes landed on Kara. She was spread out on a high ledge in the tub, above the mass of bubbles, water licking her ankles, caressing her thighs, lost in erotic ecstasy. Her thighs were spread wide, exposing the mouth-watering, glistening flesh between her thighs. Head thrown back, eyes closed, she wasn’t aware of him watching her, his senses mesmerized by the hand between her legs. Her luscious breasts bounced as her hips rose up and down in the water, meeting the furiously moving fingers that were teasing her clit.
He struggled for air, his cock hard enough to split diamonds. Biting back a groan, he knew he should leave her to her privacy, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t possible. Nothing less than the whole world ending in a cataclysmic catastrophe was ripping him away from one of the most erotic, beautiful things he had ever seen.
“Simon.”
She was fantasizing about him. Imagining him. He wanted desperately to know what he was doing to her in her imagination. Probably exactly what he wanted to be doing right now. He wanted to bury his head between those silken thighs, fuck her tight channel with his fingers as he pleasured her clit with his mouth and tongue.
He stripped off his pants and briefs, his eyes never leaving her writhing body as he dropped them silently to the floor, stepping away from them. Part of him wanted to approach her, worship that begging, swollen pink flesh between her thighs, give some attention to those hard, pebbled nipples. But he couldn’t move. He was swept up into her arousal, a sight so carnal that it had him palming his engorged cock, stepping closer to the tub.
A low, throaty groan that he couldn’t hold back startled her. Her head jerked up, her eyes full of lust and sultry need.
“Don’t stop. Please. I need to watch you come.” His voice was graveled, raspy with desire and longing.
Her hand quit moving, but she left it on her pussy. “I’m sorry, Simon. I-”
“Make yourself come, Kara. Keep going. Think about me. There’s nothing more that I want in this world than to watch you pleasure yourself. It’s beautiful.” She didn’t know how beautiful she looked-skin flushed, wanton, abandoned.
Her eyes roamed his body, hesitating, narrowing in on the cock that he held tightly in his grasp. “No. You’re beautiful, Simon. The most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.”
He didn’t think it was possible to get more aroused. But her low, come-fuck-me voice nearly sent him over the edge, the fact that she wanted him almost his undoing.
Their eyes locked, an invisible thread keeping them focused on each other. He groaned as her hand moved, her eyes growing steamier as he starting pumping his cock.
They watched each other with naked, unbridled passion. She became wild, uninhibited as she licked her lips, watching him jerk on his ready-to-explode cock.
Rivulets of sweat poured down his face as she whispered his name between jerky pants and erotic moans as they stayed connected, completely lost in a web of desire so fierce that he could barely remain standing.
“That’s right, baby. Bring yourself off,” he demanded as he fisted himself harder, the pure pleasure of feasting his eyes on her unrestrained lust making his balls tighten, the pressure inside him building.
Tendrils of dark silky hair had escaped the clip holding her mane back and they framed her face, brushed over her shoulders. He was intoxicated, bewitched, enthralled with the feast for his eyes spread out in front of him.
Moving her fingers from her clit, Kara pushed two fingers into her tight channel, filling herself, moving them in and out with strong, deep strokes. She gasped every time her fingers slammed into her opening, increasingly deep, faster. Simon increased his pace, keeping time with her.
“Make yourself come for me,” he demanded, knowing he couldn’t keep this up much longer, however much he’d like to watch her like this forever.
Her fingers moved back to her clit, gliding easily along the swollen nub. Panting, she threw her head back with a long, throaty moan.
She climaxed hard, moaning his name, her back arching, her whole body quivering.
Not able to hold back another second, Simon exploded, putting his hand in front of his cock to capture the stream of hot fluid that probably would have hit the damn wall had he not stopped it.
She leaned back, her breathing heavy and uneven, her eyes glassy. After quickly washing his hands, he crossed the space between them, and stepped into the tub.
He pulled her unresisting body into the water with him, his mouth covering hers in a tender, languorous kiss.
Her face was flushed as she pulled back, her eyes darting away from his. “I can’t believe I just did that.”
“Don’t, Kara.” His fingers gripped her chin, gently tilting her face, making her meet his eyes. “Don’t ever be embarrassed with me. You’re beautiful. The sexiest woman I’ve ever seen. Watching you come was so fucking hot that it damn near gave me heart failure. There’s no shame in something that incredible.”
Wishing he could express his desire to share all things intimate with her, his obsession to be close to her, he tugged her back onto a built-in lounge seat. After sitting and leaning back, water lapping at his torso, he pulled her between his legs. Molding her naked body to his, her back to his front, he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist to anchor her. He nearly sighed in ecstasy as she relaxed against him, her head resting against his shoulder. He buried his face in her hair, breathing in her tantalizing smell for the first time in three days, feeling like he was finally where he belonged.
“I’ve just never done that when someone was watching. I told you I don’t have much experience.” She sighed. “I missed you. I know I pushed you away. I shouldn’t have. I just wanted you to share what happened with me, to help me understand what happened the other night. I’m really sorry, Simon. I-”
“Shhh...stop!” His mouth to her ear, he whispered, “It isn’t you, Kara.” Hell, it made his chest hurt to hear her apologizing when he should be begging her to forgive him. He’d treated her poorly. Shut her out. He just wasn’t used to a woman who actually wanted to be close to him, a woman who actually gave a shit enough to try. “It’s my problem. Something that I’ve never told anyone. Shit! I never even told the shrink that Mom made me see after the whole thing happened. Not the whole truth, anyway.”
“Helen had you see a counselor?” she questioned in a low, thoughtful voice. Her hands covering his arms that were wrapped around her waist, she squeezed gently in a comforting gesture.
He shivered, even though the water lapping over their skin was still hot. Taking in a deep breath, he exhaled slowly, knowing that at this point...he was all in. It was time to risk it all, throw all his cards on the table and pray that he came out the winner, that she cared enough to stay with him. Truth was, he did trust Kara. But, did he want to talk about his shame and irrational fears? Oh, hell no...he absolutely fucking didn’t want to talk about it. But his obsession was to be close to the woman he was holding in his arms, the woman who was leaning back against him with complete faith and trust, with a gentleness and patience that had him in awe of her.
Nothing between us. Ever.
“Yeah, she did. I saw Dr. Evans for over a year.” His voice was hoarse and hesitant as his instincts warred with his emotions. “Mom wanted to make sure I was okay emotionally.”
She squirmed back against him, pushing her body tightly against his, getting as close as she possibly could. Her hands slid down his arms, finding his hand under the water, entwining their fingers together.
He breathed in the scent of her as she tilted her head, resting it against his jaw, her fragrance surrounding him.
“Simon?” she whispered softly.
“Yeah?” He gave her fingers a gentle squeeze.
“I love you.” Her voice was barely audible. “I love everything that you are, every part of you. Nothing that happened in your distant past is going to change that. I even love you when you’re bossy.”
“I’m never bossy,” he answered automatically, the walls around his heart crumbling, allowing his heart to soar. Holy shit! He had wanted her to say it, but he had never imagined that it would feel this damn amazing to hear it. He wasn’t sure what he had ever done to deserve a woman like her, but he wasn’t stupid. He was keeping her. “You know that I’ll never let you go now, don’t you?” It wasn’t really a question, but he figured that she should know his intentions.
“I didn’t tell you so that you would feel obligated. I just wanted you to know.” In a lighter tone, she added, “And you are bossy. Now tell me about Dr. Evans.”
Obligated? She wasn’t an obligation. She was his whole damn life. His arms tightened around her convulsively.
She loves me!
He relaxed, the tension draining from his body. Suddenly, talking about the past didn’t seem quite so difficult. Yeah, he’d much rather take his woman to bed and show her exactly how much he worshipped her, but he wanted to do it with full disclosure. He needed to explain what had happened the other night, and the only way to do it was to talk about the past.
She loves me.
He started to talk.