I WAS A zombie the next day and all through dinner with my folks that evening. I replayed the night over and over again in my head, and I still couldn’t believe how badly I’d acted last night. Lashing out at Ollie was the final straw that told me I needed to figure my shit out. He’d been nothing but good to me from day one, and I’d shown my ass. It wasn’t like me at all, and I had no excuse. None. But even though my fingers itched to pull out my phone and call him to apologize, I had another problem.

The chair across from me was now empty, Anna having discreetly disappeared from the table at some point. The hug she’d given me the other day was apparently a distant memory, since she was back to avoiding me and dipping out early whenever I was around.

It seemed like a Reid apology tour was in order, because I was done pissing off the people around me. I had issues I needed to work through, and I couldn’t begin to do that if I didn’t confront the problems I knew I could fix. Starting with my sister.

After excusing myself from the table, I looked in her room, but when I didn’t see her, I headed for the back door. I knew Anna was having a hard time coming to terms with the last few months just as I was, and I needed her just as much as she needed me. Even with the age difference, we’d been close, and I wanted to mend the rift between us. I knew she missed me, but she didn’t want to admit it. We needed to talk, and I knew just where to find her.

The sun still shone brightly in the sky as I crossed the sidewalk behind my parents’ house and headed down the grassy bank to where Anna stood tossing bits of leftover dinner rolls to the ducks.

“Hey, Banana.”

She flinched at my voice but didn’t turn around. “I thought you would’ve left already.”

“No. Why? Do you want me to leave?”

She shrugged her delicate shoulders and then threw another piece of the roll even farther out.

I was determined to heal our relationship, somehow, someway. But she wasn’t making it easy by keeping herself closed off. Hey, whaddya know, sort of like you, huh, asshole?

“Do you mind if we talk?” I asked as I came up beside her. She was almost as tall as me now, and lanky, though she was no athlete. She was more into books and poetry and always had been.

Anna shrugged again, and I dropped down to the grass to make myself comfortable.

“Do you remember when Mom and Dad took us to that hidden waterfall that one time? Not Valentine Falls, the other one.” When she didn’t answer, I continued. “You didn’t know how to swim very well yet, so you stayed on the rocks, climbing over them like they were a jungle gym. Then out of nowhere that big-ass bird…what was it, a hawk? It swooped down close to you and scared you to death. I remember seeing it happen and watching as you lost your balance and hit your head on those rocks.”

Anna wiped off her hands and sat down beside me, still not looking my way.

“You scared me to death that day. Practically gave Mom and Dad a heart attack, too. You were out cold for a minute, and when you came to, we cut the day short.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” she said.

“Don’t you see? The same thing could’ve easily happened to you that happened to me. We both got knocked unconscious, but it wasn’t your fault that you fell any more than it was my fault that a truck ran a red light. What if you’d woken up and didn’t know who I was either?”

She stared straight ahead, but I could see her eyes welling.

“I would’ve moved mountains, sung bad karaoke, whipped out all the family photo albums until you were sick of looking at my face until you remembered who I was. Because you’re my sister, my banana, and I’m your brother. I will always love you. No matter what.”

A tear fell down her cheek, and she brushed it away.

“It would just take you a little longer to realize it, is all.”

“So you’re saying it’s my fault I haven’t tried hard enough?”

“No. God no. I just don’t want you to be scared of me. I want you to know that I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. But I won’t lie to you—I’m a little lost right now. I hate that there are things I can’t remember, and sometimes I can’t tell if the things that pop into my head are memories or dreams or if I’m hallucinating. So if you see me drifting off into space with a confused look on my face, I’m gonna need you to bring me back down to earth.”

“How do I do that?”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

“Maybe get Dad to hold you down while I tickle your feet?”

“You’re evil,” I said, shaking my head. “But if that works, I’ll take it.”

“But what if it happens again?” Her voice cracked, and when I put my arm around her, pulling her closer, she didn’t put up a protest.

“There’s probably a point zero zero zero zero one percent chance it could happen a third time, but God knows if it did, then I’d ask you all to commit me to a psych ward and leave me there. By then I’d be totally confused with reality.”

She let out a little chuckle and sniffed.

“I understand not wanting to open yourself up to getting hurt again. And I know I hurt you involuntarily. I get that. But you’re my sister, the only one I’ve got in this world, and I love you. I don’t want you to be scared of me or avoid me. I want us to spend time together again. Go get lost in old bookstores, or go see a movie or get ice cream.”

“Does this mean I’d get to drive?”

“Oh shit. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.” When she sat up and punched me in the arm, I said, “I was kidding. I’ll think about it. For now, there’s Uber or Mom and Dad.”

She smiled and then peered up at me. “Reid?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m really sorry.” Dropping her gaze, she began to pull strands of grass out of the ground one at a time. “It was so hard when you woke up from the coma. You treated me like a little sister—”

“You are my little sister.”

“Yeah, but you’ve never treated me like one. We’ve always been…friends. And you were nice, but you didn’t have much to do with me.”

“I’m sorry, Anna. I wish I could take it back. It was confusing for the both of us, but you have to know I’d never want to hurt you.”

“I do know that.”

“You better. And we are friends. Which means if you’re upset or need to talk, you come to me. Don’t go trying to hide. I know where you live.”

She snorted. “Dork.”

“I know you are, but what am I?”

“A bigger dork.”

“Am I forgiven, though?”

“Hmm,” she said, pushing the dark brown strands that had escaped from her ponytail behind her ears. “Yeah, I guess. Since you asked nicely.”

“Oh, gee, thanks. Tell you what, if I ever forget you again, you have my permission to slap me silly.”

She laughed and rolled her eyes. “I can’t slap someone with a brain injury, Reid, geez.”

“You can if he’s not thinking straight.”

“Anna!” Mom called out from the back porch. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten it’s your turn to load the dishwasher.”

I grinned and gave Anna a nudge. “You’d better get in there before she has a conniption fit and grounds you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” As we stood up and wiped the grass off our pants, she peered up at me. “Reid?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Banana.”

“Anna! I’m not gonna tell you again,” Mom yelled.

“I’m coming,” Anna called out, and I gave her one last squeeze before letting her go.

When she ran off, I felt a huge weight had lifted from my shoulders. I hadn’t expected her forgiveness to come so readily, but maybe she’d wanted our relationship back as much as I did. I needed to plan some sibling time with her one day soon, but at least for the moment, it seemed like we might be okay.

Thank God.

I crossed her name off my mental checklist and moved down to the next name: Ollie. How to explain all my baggage to a new friend—if that was what we still were—and have him understand where I was coming from? I needed to figure out what to say to apologize for my behavior, so before I got around to calling him, I needed to clear my brain a bit.

A walk in the fresh evening air sounded like a good plan to me. The last thing I wanted to do was sound like a hot mess when I called. Although Ollie had already seen me have a panic attack followed by an attack on him, so chances were slim he’d even answer the phone for me at this point.

Man. It was a roaster of a day, a thousand degrees, give or take a few, and I was already regretting my decision to go for a walk. But since I was about halfway at that point, I figured I’d finish out the lap before heading inside.

As I reached for my phone in my pocket, my eyes landed on a house across the street and I stopped moving. There wasn’t anything that stood out about the place for it to have gotten my attention. It was on the smaller side and had the same brick exterior as almost every other house in the neighborhood, only this one had a red door and green shutters.

But…that house. I knew that house, and not because I’d walked past it a hundred times before. There was a loose brick on the third porch step of that house.

Without knowing why, I found myself crossing the street. Maybe it was that I wanted to check that brick to make sure it was loose and I wasn’t crazy. But what would it mean if it was? I couldn’t recall ever coming here before. There would be no reason for me to know a detail like that.

Venturing across the yard, I noticed there was no car in the driveway, so at least the owner wouldn’t see some crazy guy on their front lawn. This is stupid, I thought when I stood in front of the porch steps and debated whether to turn around and keep right on walking. But I’d come this far, and better to know I wasn’t fully losing it…or not.

Stepping onto the first stair, I toed the edge of the bricks on the third step with my foot. On the right side, one of the bricks had darker edges surrounding it, and I bent over to wiggle it with my hand.

It didn’t move.

Shit.

“Don’t tell me the brick came loose again,” came a voice from the driveway, and I whirled around to see Ollie getting out of his car, still dressed in his uniform of navy-blue pants and a matching button-down shirt that fit his muscular build like a glove.

“Ollie?” I rubbed my eyes, making sure I wasn’t seeing things, but no. He was still there. “What are you doing here?” I said, as he opened his trunk and took out a few grocery bags. He easily slid them all up one arm and then shut the trunk with the other.

“What do you mean what am I doing here?” he said, giving me a funny look as he walked past me up the stairs. “It’s my house. What are you doing here?”

His house? This was Ollie’s house?

He tapped on the third step with his foot, right over the place with the darkened cracks. “Oh good. If that thing had come loose again, I would’ve chucked it into the lake.”

Oh God. A wave of dizziness had me reaching for the rail to keep me upright.

My mind knew Ollie’s house. But why…how? We’d just met, and I’d never been here before. But that detail was so strong, just like I knew if I walked up those steps, that it would lead into a hallway with dark blue walls and white trim before opening up into a living area and kitchen.

What the fuck is happening?

Ollie stood inside the unlocked doorway and looked down at me. “You comin’?”

Was I? I’d been about to call him anyway, but this revelation felt like my feet were being kicked out from under me. With shaky legs, I climbed up to where Ollie watched me with concern in his eyes.

“Everything okay?” he said, as he gestured for me to go in. And sure enough, the hallway looked exactly like I thought it’d would—dark blue walls and white trim, and I had to keep a hand on it as I walked so I wouldn’t fall over.

I don’t understand, I thought, a wave of dizziness hitting me again so hard I had to stop where I was and close my eyes.

“Reid? Did you get too hot?”

“Hmm?” I managed. I heard Ollie lower the bags to the floor, and then the back of his hand was on my forehead and then my cheek, checking my temperature, and then he took my wrist, checking my pulse.

“The heat index is still over ninety, so you need to cool off,” he said, leading me over to a recliner chair and forcing me into it. He returned a few seconds later with a glass of iced water, but my hands were still shaking so badly that he had to lift it to my lips.

It couldn’t be heat stroke that had me feeling so strange? No, I didn’t think so, but the cold water helped, and when Ollie went back to refill the glass, he also brought a cold towel, placing it around my neck.

“Is that better?” he asked, taking my wrist again and looking at his watch for a full minute. Then he let go and adjusted the towel. “You can lie back if you want to.”

I could only stare at him. It was like I was looking at him through new eyes. The way he took such great care with me, completely putting aside any hurt from the night before to make sure I was okay… It was then that I realized how lucky I was that he’d been the one to pull me out of the car.

“I’m sorry, Ollie.”

“It’s okay. I’m just glad you made it here instead of passing out on the sidewalk.”

“No, I mean I’m sorry for last night.”

“Oh.” He lifted the water back up to my mouth for me to take a sip. “That’s okay too.”

“I was horrible to you. I feel like I’ve been horrible to everyone lately, and I was going to call you and tell you…I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve my wrath.”

Ollie’s eyes bored into mine from where he knelt in front of me, and then he nodded. “Thank you. Apology accepted.”

The easy way he forgave made my eyes sting, and I had to look down at my lap so he didn’t see it. After a moment, he got to his feet and went over to retrieve the bags he’d left in the hallway. I was tempted to go help him, but I didn’t think my legs were quite steady enough yet, so I watched as he slid the bags up his arm again and carried them into the adjoining kitchen. It was then that I got a good look of where I was. Sitting up, I took in the straightforward decor: cream-colored walls, oversized grey couches, an entertainment center with a TV that just barely fit inside it. Nothing fancy, but all well maintained, just like the man himself. But what surprised me the most was the piano in the corner of his kitchen.

“You have a piano?” I said, my brows pinching together. “But…you don’t play. Do you use it as a table?”

“Hah, very funny, smartass. I think what you mean is I don’t play well. I do a pretty mean ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,’ though. My teacher may disagree.”

“Um. He’d probably say there’s room for improvement.”

“That would be far too kind of him,” Ollie said, chuckling. “So, just out of curiosity, how’d you find me?”

And there was the question I didn’t have an answer to. One I wanted to know myself. “I, uh, didn’t realize I had.”

Ollie continued unpacking the grocery bags and smirked. “Going door to door to ask for me, then? That’s stalker behavior, Reid. You could’ve just called me for my address.”

“No, I mean I didn’t know this was your house. I don’t know why I’m here.”

His hands froze as he looked up at me. “I don’t understand.”

“I don’t either.” I leaned forward and ran my hands through my hair. “I-I was going for a walk, and I saw your house, and I swore that there was a loose brick on your porch step, and I had to…check. I don’t know why, but I had to see if I was right. And your walls?” I gestured down the hallway. “I knew what they looked like before I set a foot inside. Does that make sense to you? Does any of this make sense? Because I feel like I’m fumbling around in the dark, and when I’m awake all I see are these crazy images.”

“What kind of images?” Ollie asked, his voice flat and his hands still frozen.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you. I see you everywhere, but nowhere that makes any sense to me, and I’m just so fucking confused, Ollie.” Looking up at him, I gripped the back of my neck and said, “I don’t have any explanation for any of this. Not why I’m here, not how I know these things, none of it.”

Ollie’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, and his eyes suddenly glistened with tears. “I know you don’t,” he whispered, his voice shaking as his hands curled into fists. Then he closed his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath, and when he let it out, he shook his head. “I’m sorry, Reid. I’m so sorry. But I can’t do this anymore.”