After Jake’s visit to the Selman’s home, he had tossed and turned all night. What was going to happen to her in forty-eight hours when people who weren’t nearly as kind-hearted as he showed up on her doorstep? What was going to happen to him in two weeks when he didn’t have his payment to hand over? His father would be so disappointed in him for getting mixed up in this mess, but he hadn’t felt like he had a choice. Jake never believed it would be so hard to get the ranch running in the black again. It was taking too long, and he was almost out of time.

He was up and back out in the stables early that morning. Vanessa arrived, as usual, to take care of Tamara and he wanted to hold her so badly. He knew that it was about his own need for comfort than anything. Jake felt so lonely and so distant from anyone else. The idea of having someone in his arms was so appealing right now and yet; it was probably the worst thing he could do.

As she walked up to the barn, he began to hear barking coming from the side yard. Apollo was home! He walked out just as the large chocolate Labrador retriever rushed Vanessa and almost knocked her down.

“Apollo! Heel!” he ordered the dog, sending it scurrying back to sit politely to one side. “Did he get dirt all over you?” he asked Vanessa.

“Where did he come from?” she asked, laughing as she brushed off his dirty paw prints from her shirt.

“He’s my father’s dog. He has a bad habit of wandering off for days to visit his neighborhood girlfriends.”

“How old is he?”

“About ten or so.”

“Wow. And he is still out wooing the babes?” Vanessa asked, turning to get a closer look at him.

“So, it seems. Everyone around here knows him and just puts him up for a few days until he decides to come home.”

“You haven’t had him neutered?”

“No. I guess that’s bad, huh?”

“Not necessarily bad, but irresponsible, yes.”

“Is it too late?” Jake glanced down at Apollo while adjusting his Stetson.

“No. He can still be snipped.”

“I guess I will make an appointment for that then. He’s getting too old to wander off like this. One day, he’s not going to come home again.” Apollo whimpered as if understanding what their discussion was about, causing them both to laugh.

“I’ll set aside at time for you and get it done before he goes into hiding to avoid it. Now, let’s get a look at Tamara. Oh, here,” she said, extending her hand out to show him a freshly laundered t-shirt, his Renegade Ridge t-shirt.

“You didn’t have to do that. You can keep it if you like. Free advertising if you wear it on rounds.”

“I try not to be partial,” she replied with a slight grin.

Jake nodded and took the shirt before walking over to Tamara’s stall and opening it to walk her out.

“She’s moving much better today. That’s very good,” she told him.

“Then she is healing okay?”

“Yes, she is,” Vanessa responded as she moved the leg back and forth and put some pressure on it in different places. “I’m going to give her a shot today since she is still a bit tender, but I think that we can discontinue the shots tomorrow. I will check her then, and if I don’t see her react to pressure as much, I will discontinue them.”

“Then you won’t need to come out every day?”

“No. I won’t. I know that will be a relief to you.”

“A relief?” The doubt slipped into Jake’s voice.

“Yes. You said your budget was tight. I know you’ll be glad not to be billed daily by a veterinarian.”

Jake gazed into her eyes and said, “Well, I suppose there is that, but I will miss seeing you.”

She smiled awkwardly, as if not sure what to say to that and he mentally chastised himself for having said it. He shouldn’t have. It was out of line.

“I’m sorry. Listen, I’ll let you get on with things so you can get to other appointments.”

“Just let me give her this shot, and I’ll be out of your hair,” she replied.

Jake nodded and said nothing further. He had already stuck his foot in his mouth and felt embarrassed about it. The best thing he could do now was just to let it go and let her do her job so she could leave.

“All done,” she said a moment later, tossing her things back in the small case she carried in with her.

“Thank you, Dr. Hart.”

“Vanessa, remember?” She smiled.

“Vanessa,” he said half-heartedly.

“I think I will keep that shirt if you don’t mind.”

Jake smiled and picked up the shirt from where he had laid it on a nearby table, handing it to her. Her hand touched his as she reached out to take it and he felt a surge go through him. From the expression on her face, she felt it too, but she quickly turned and picked up her bag.

“I’ll get out of your way,” she told him as she made a rapid retreat from the barn.

Jake watched her as she made her way to the old camper outside and then put Tamara back in her stall. He swept his hand softly down her muzzle and whispered, “You are still my best girl. You may just be the only girl in my life for what’s left of it. Then what will happen to you? What will happen to this place?”

A melancholy mood swept over him. It wasn’t so much about the possibility of dying at the hands of Kessler as it was letting his father down. He had trusted him with this ranch. He had left this world believing that his son would take care of it the way that he had and that, one day, he would pass it down to his own children. Instead, there would be no one left to give it to, or he would have to sell it to pay off Kessler. He wasn’t going to do that. If he were to let his father down, he would rather it be by dying with his fists up fighting.

It felt like the longest day as he took care of things about the ranch, feeling numb, detached. When he went home, he just stared at the walls, finally climbing into bed and falling asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. He wasn’t content, just exhausted. He felt like he was completely worn down, spent. Sleep was a much-needed respite.

It was short lived though. Jake awoke in the wee hours of the morning in a cold sweat. He had been dreaming about his days in the desert, leaving him even more unsettled than he had been before he had gone to sleep. Crawling from the bed, he made his way to the kitchen for a drink of water and then stood leaning against the sink. Looking out the window at the moon outside, he spoke aloud to himself.

“You are okay. You’re going to be fine, Jake. I don’t know how, but you’ll figure this out. Think. Just think.” Time seemed fluid as he struggled to find a bit of calm. Everything was a nightmare right now. He didn’t know how he was going to manage, and he felt tired, so incredibly tired. Apollo joined him from the backyard, sweeping into the dog door that led from the kitchen to the fenced-in area behind his house. Jake knelt down to pet him, giving him a big hug for good measure. It was the closest thing he had to affection in his life, sadly.

After pouring some fresh food and water into Apollo’s bowl, he gave him another pat on the head and dragged himself off to the shower to get cleaned up for the day. Hopefully, the water would wake him up a bit. When he stepped out, he was surprised by a knock on the front door. Slipping his towel around his waist, he went to the door and opened it to find Vanessa standing there.

“I’m sorry. I caught you while you were still getting dressed,” she said, her eyes drifting down his chest toward his towel and then off to one side. He detected a hint of a flush spreading up her cheeks, as well. She was embarrassed.

“It’s no bother. Come on in, and I’ll go get dressed.”

“I can wait outside.”

“Don’t be silly, Vanessa. It’s getting warmer out there, and the bugs will eat you alive.”

She nodded and stepped inside, carefully avoiding looking at him again as she stood next to the wall by the door. He was a bit amused by her shyness about his near nakedness.

“I’ll be right back,” he told her, turning to make his way down the hall. “Make yourself at home in the living room.”

He found himself wondering if she was watching him as he walked away and he also found that he really hoped that was the case. Grabbing some jeans and boxer briefs from his bed, he pulled them on and then slipped a t-shirt over his head. He struggled to find two socks that matched and then picked up his boots. Carrying them to the living room he sat in a large armchair adjacent to the overstuffed sofa on which Vanessa was waiting.

“So, what’s up?” he asked.

“I’ve already been to the barn to check on Tamara. Tucker was out there,” she said.

“Right,” he replied, beginning to pull on his socks. He glanced up at the clock and noted that it was already after seven. It had completely eluded him how late it was in his agitated state this morning.

“I told him, but I also wanted to tell you, that I won’t need to come back after today anymore. As we discussed yesterday, your mare is well enough to continue healing on her own. I will come back next week to follow up…make sure all is going well and if you see anything you think is questionable in the interim, just call.”

“That’s great. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done.”

“You’re welcome,” she replied. Jake expected that she would get up to leave, but she hesitated, looking down for a moment and then back up at him curiously. “Jake, are you alright?”

“Yes, sure. I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know. There is just something about you this morning. You seem a bit far away…that’s all.”

“Far away? Nope! I’m right here,” he told her as he pulled on his boot.

When had he become so transparent that even a stranger knew he was suffering a personal crisis? He needed to get a grip, but the truth was he had resigned himself to the fact that he only had two choices; sell or pay the price. Once again, he much preferred to dishonor his father by dying over selling a ranch that had been in his family for well over a hundred years. The property itself, over two hundred years.

“Okay. I will have to take your word for it, but if you need a friend, I’m here.”

“I appreciate that,” he replied as she stood to go. A movement caught his eye. It was the first time he realized that Apollo had been lying beside her the entire time they had been talking without moving. It only was when she stood that the dog too got to his feet and began to follow her toward the door. “It appears you’ve made a new friend.”

“Yes. He came in while you were getting dressed.” She bent down and rubbed the lab between his ears.

“I didn’t realize he had gone back out. He was in the kitchen eating when I got in the shower. He’s a tough cookie to try to keep up with.”

“I’m sure he is.”

Jake showed her to the door and opened it. Vanessa hesitated awkwardly for a moment, but then began to cross the porch outside and descend the steps. Before Jake could determine even what was coming over him, he called out to her.

“Vanessa?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you like to go to dinner with me sometime?”

“Dinner?” She turned to face him.

“Yeah, you know. Food.”

He smiled sheepishly at her as if he had never asked out a girl before in his entire life. He was usually much smoother than this, but his experiences in the last few years had changed him. The certainty of, well, pretty much anything was long gone, and he didn’t know how to act toward women anymore.

“Sounds good. Just as friends, though. Okay? I don’t want to interfere with our professional relationship.”

“No problem. I’ll even split the check if you want.”

“Well, let’s not get carried away, shall we?” she joked.

Jake laughed. He knew exactly what she meant by that. His bank account was currently his worst enemy, but he might as well enjoy one meal with an attractive woman if his days were numbered.

“Are you free tomorrow night?” he asked.

It might be the last night he had of peace. After that, who knows what his life might be like if he still had one. It was better that she just wanted to keep it friendly. Despite his attraction to her, it was best for both of him. Still, just the company of a female would be nice.

“Tomorrow night is great,” she told him.

“I’ll pick you up at seven then?”

“Sounds perfect. Let me get going. I’ve got a full day today, and I’m sure you do too.”

“Yes, but I have something to look forward to now, at least.”

“Likewise. I’ll see you tomorrow night then,” she said.

“You will,” he replied as he opened the front door and she walked back out onto the porch.

Jake closed the door. Looking down at Apollo, who now stood by his side wagging his tail, he smiled.

“If I had a tail, I’d wag it too,” he told him before walking back to his room.

The rest of the day went fairly well, with just the usual ranch activities. He finished up the day with another shower to get the dust knocked off before making a light dinner of sautéed vegetables and a bit of chicken. It was bland as meals went, but he wasn’t much of a cook and couldn’t be bothered with seasoning beyond the basics of salt and pepper.

Bedtime came early, a result of having awakened before daybreak and dragged through his normal chores. There was a rumble of thunder, so Apollo had jumped up and was laying at the foot of the bed, not Jake’s usual sleep preference. But thunder was something that neither of them did well. It would be a sleepless night spent curled up together for comfort. Jake couldn’t help but think how sad that must seem to someone on the outside looking in. It felt pretty damned sad from his side too.

At first, the storm seemed to shift and die off. Perhaps there wouldn’t be anything to worry about, after all. He drifted off to sleep with Apollo still lying next to his legs on the bed. Then, in the early morning, the storm began again. The ominous clap of thunder could be heard in the distance. Bright streaks of light filled the windows as lightning crashed. Apollo crept closer to him, laying his head on his chest and whimpering.

Jake’s heart raced, his anxiety raged with the storm. Every loud crash, every massive thud of power from outside the window caused them to cling to one another. Jake could still remember when he loved listening to storms. Now, they just took him back to a place that filled him with anxiety to the point of being unable to function. Not many would believe that a big, mighty former army ranger would be scared of a storm, but they hadn’t been in his shoes. Most of them could never comprehend the way war affected those who had experienced it.

The storm finally subsided, giving way to the daylight. It was Saturday and Tucker would be tending the ranch while Jake had a day off. Tomorrow, Tucker would be off while Jake handled things here. Exhausted, he rolled over in bed and tried to get a few more hours sleep. Apollo was gone, off to explore what the weather might have scared up for him to examine. Though the backyard was fenced in, he had a spot that he had dug out to slip through. His escape from the house was easy enough to make out the dog door in the kitchen and under the fence.

Jake settled in and fell asleep, a much-needed rest that he felt he hadn’t gotten for days on end. It was thankfully dreamless, and he woke up feeling much more rested than he could have hoped for. Glancing at the bedside table, he saw that it was nearly noon.

“Jesus,” he muttered aloud.

Everything was downhill after that. Jake was pretty sure that it was internationally understood that if you got up after eleven o’clock, your day was lost. There was nothing to do but vegetate, and that is pretty much what he intended to do after he went out to check on Tucker and Tamara. He tossed on some clean clothes and made his way to the barn to find Tucker finishing up with the containers and hoses of the milking system laying to one side. It was pretty much automated once you got the dairy cows into place.

“We good in here, Tucker?” he asked.

“Right as rain, boss,” Tucker replied, glancing back at him and looking him over. “Bottom of the clothes pile already?”

Jake looked down at himself, taking in the sad state his jeans and t-shirt were in. They looked as if they had been wadded up into a ball for a few days and then just stuck on to wear. He laughed and shrugged a bit before walking back to the other side of the large enclosure to the inner stalls where Tamara stood. Pulling the latch, he stood back and looked at her.

“Are you bored yet, sweetheart?” he asked. She whinnied at him as if to answer that she was, making him laugh and lean forward to nuzzle her a bit. She shook her head against him, eager for more, but he couldn’t stay with her today. He had some things he wanted to try to get done before his date tonight. “Soon, my pretty girl. We’ll maybe take a walk in a few days and see how you move.”Closing her back in her stall, he called out to Tucker to say he was going back to the house and received a grunt in acknowledgment.

After Jake stepped inside, he gathered a few pairs of pants and some shirts and put them in the washing machine. It took him a moment or two to find the settings, but he finally did. Picking up his cell phone, he called his maid and cut her loose. He hated to lose her, but he had to cut corners where he could and even the small fee she charged him for coming in and doing a light cleaning, laundry and putting together a few freezer meals for him was money he could put toward his debt.

Next, he went through his invoices for the horses he boarded. Many on the ranch didn’t belong to him. Some were there to be broken, purchased by owners who wanted a horse but had no idea how to train it. Others were being boarded by people who were away or had no accommodations of their own in a separate boarding stable. Only Tamara and two other horses belonging to the ranch were housed in the smaller stables within the large dairy barn up closer to the ranch house.

Going down the list, he found six owners who were more than two months behind on their payments. Whether it was an oversight or just flat out non-payment, he couldn’t be sure. He was not usually one to bicker with them about their charges and most paid in at least a quarterly fashion, despite being due monthly. He could no longer afford just to let them pay when they felt like it. He was in a predicament that only money could cure.

He took a deep breath and then let it out as he called each of them personally to request payment in full. There were excuses galore, but he stood his ground, even telling one that if she didn’t pay her fees, which were now almost four months past due, he would have to follow through on the portion of their contract that involved him taking ownership or her gelding and selling it to recoup his losses.

When Jake was done, he had managed to get three electronic payments, a promise that a check would be dropped in the mail by the same day and two assurances that it would be paid as soon as the banks opened on Monday. He had made progress. Jake went back through the list to find the lesser offenders and created reminder notices to email all but one, who didn’t have email. He would have to toss his in the mailbox before the mailman arrived later in the day.

It wasn’t nearly enough to cover what he needed to pay Kessler, but it was a start. Hopefully, the milk payment would come at the beginning of the week, and that would cover the difference, at least for this payment. The problem was that he was behind and another would be due two weeks after that. He couldn’t keep robbing every profit from the farm to pay his debt. He also had employees to pay. The ranch was in need of repairs, and he was stretching his small crew too thin as it was.

The thought of repairs brought his mind back to Randy. He groaned as he realized that he had been so self-absorbed in his own problems that he had not even called to check on him. Picking the phone up again, he started to call the hospital, but decided against it and walked out to see Tucker instead.

“Hey Tucker, you almost done here?” he asked.

“Yeah. Milk pickup just left, so I need to get the cattle back out to pasture.”

“How about I help, and then we take a little drive?”

“Drive? To where?”

Jake rubbed the back of his neck and said, “The hospital.”

“Are you sick?” Tucker asked, a look of concern on his face.

“No. I want to go check on that kid, Randy. Have you heard from him?”

“Yeah. Shannon called me. The leg is fine, just torn up. I was going to talk to you about him on Monday.”

“Is he still in the hospital?”

“As far as I know. Shannon said he would be there for a few days. Randy lost a lot of blood and is still a bit weak.”

“I’m going to go check on him personally. I feel bad that we brought the kid out here to do a little weekend work and damn near maimed him.” Jake replied.

Tucker shook his head. “No, Randy maimed himself. It was carelessness that landed him in the hospital. I asked him if he knew how to handle a chainsaw and he told me it was no problem. The kid had barely started to use it when he decided to take out his own leg.”

“May well be, but I still feel responsible. If you have the time to go with me, that’s great. If not, I’ll head up on my own.”

“Nah, I’ll go with you. I brought him out here. The least I can do is go check on him.”

“Alright, let’s get going then or did you want to clean up a bit?” Jake asked.

“I’m not too bad. We can go like I am,” Tucker answered.

“Alright, let’s get on our way then. I have plans later.”

“Plans, huh?”

“What sort of plans? They wouldn’t have anything to do with the new vet, would they?” Tucker stopped and turned to face Jake.

“What makes you say that?”

“I’ve seen you looking at her, checking her out.”

“Way out of my league,” Jake replied.

He wasn’t going to admit his plans were with her. He didn’t want Tucker asking him about it later on, especially since it was just a friendly gathering. He had always preferred to keep his personal life as private as possible, even from Tucker, though he felt more like a brother than an employee and friend.

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Tucker told him as they got on their way.

Jake steeled himself as they pulled into the hospital a bit later. It was the same place where he had said his goodbyes to his father on a night that didn’t seem like all that long ago. Walking through the bright lights that lead from the large double doors to the information desk seemed to zap all of his energy. Tucker asked for the boy’s room, and they made their way there. Jake would rather be anywhere else.

“Randy, how are you making it?” Tucker asked as they walked in.

Jake looked around to see that there were dozens of cards, flowers, and balloons around the room from well-wishers. He caught sight of an older man sitting to one side and introduced himself.

“Hello. Jake Morrow. Are you Randy’s father?”

“Yes,” the man replied coolly. It was a bad sign.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Jake continued.

“Wish I could say the same,” the man said sourly.

“Dad! I told you that this wasn’t their fault. It was me that screwed up, not them.”

“They are the adults. You shouldn’t have been operating a chainsaw,” the man said angrily.

“That’s my fault,” Tucker told him. “I thought he could handle it.”

“Obviously, you were wrong, weren’t you?” the man snapped back.

“Dad! You’re embarrassing me!” Randy complained.

“You’re going to be more embarrassed when I have to sell your car to pay your medical bills,” his Dad responded.

“No, Mister . . . I’m sorry. I don’t know your last name,” Jake said.

“Graves, Digger Graves.”

Jake was silent for a moment. Surely, he was shitting him with that name. He turned slightly and looked at Tucker who nodded his head up and down quietly.

“Okay, Mr. Graves. My ranch has insurance that covers anyone working on the property, even those just doing day labor. It will cover your son's medical expenses. Just have folks in the billing office here at the hospital give me a call, and I’ll make sure it is taken care of.”

Mr. Graves shoulders relaxed a bit. There was no doubt that his son had probably been his primary concern in the beginning, but now that he was out of the woods, it was the ridiculous cost of care to which his focus had shifted. Knowing he wasn’t going to be saddled with the debt seemed to go a long way towards his attitude.

“I appreciate that,” he replied.

Jake fished a card out of his wallet and handed it to him. “Number’s on there. Just give it to them in the office and tell them to call me for whatever information they need.”

“I will,” the man said. “I appreciate that more than you know.”

“It’s no problem.”

Jake turned to Randy and smiled. His leg was outside the covers and only sported one very large bandage that was taped loosely on the wound. He would imagine it was for ease of dressing it periodically and so it could get a little air, but not too much.

“So, what’s the damage, kid? I’m really glad to see there is still a mostly whole leg attached to you there.” Jake smiled.

Randy gestured toward his leg and explained, “The doctors said the woman at your ranch did a really good job of packing it up until they could get to it. I’d like to thank her when I’m better.”

Jake nodded. “I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.”

“Was she a doctor?” Randy’s eyes were wide.

“Of sorts. She’s our veterinarian.” Jake grinned.

“Ha-ha. Too bad Mom isn’t in here. She went home for a bit to get a shower and check on things. She’d love hearing that a vet worked on me. Always says my room looks like a wild animal lives in there.”

Jake nodded. “I hear you...my mother always said the same of me…and my room still looks like that.”

Randy raised his chin and said, “See, Dad? Mr. Morrow runs a whole ranch and has a sloppy room. It’s not the most important thing in life.”

“Don’t encourage him,” Mr. Graves told Jake.

“Sorry about that. I’m a bad influence, I guess. Well, Tucker and I need to get going and let you get some rest. Take care of that leg and let us know if you need anything at all,” Jake said to Randy and his father.

He and Tucker made their way back down the hallway in silence. They were almost to the exit when Jake laughed and turned toward him with a smile.

“Digger Graves,” Jake whispered.

Tucker burst out laughing loudly enough for everyone down the hall to probably hear him as they exited the hospital.

“You know what else?” he asked.

Jake looked at him, bemused. “What?”

“The man works down at the paper mill on the line, but he has a weekend job too. He’s the caretaker at Cedar Flats Cemetery.”

Jake jumped back in faux shock. “No. You’re just fucking with me now, aren’t you?”

“Nope. I shit you not. Of course, his real name is Harold. Digger is just his nickname, so maybe he got that because of the graveyard job.”

“God, I hope so!” Jake said.

They both laughed again as they made their way back to the truck and drove home. Tucker headed to the barn to close things back up for the day, and then he would be off to his little cabin for the night, most likely his girlfriend would come over, or they would go out. Jake said his goodbyes and headed back to his house to get his clothes into the dryer, pulling them back out while still warm — and wrinkle free — to put on after his shower.

Jake was a bit nervous as he made his way out to the Ford and headed north toward Vanessa’s place. She said it wasn’t a date, but it felt like the first one he had ever had.