After several sleepless nights, he felt exhausted and moved slowly along as he tended chores in the barn. Jake was relieved when he was finally done, heading home to shower and just relax for a bit. Dinner consisted of a frozen pizza and beer, not exactly a health-conscious choice, but he felt like some comfort food was in order today.

There was no sign of Apollo so far, but he’d probably drag in sooner or later. It was his pattern; gone for a few days, home for a couple. Jake reminded himself to call Vanessa tomorrow and make an appointment to have him fixed. After a while, he fell asleep in his chair. For some reason, he seemed to sleep better than he did in the bed. He could only equate it to long nights of sleeping sitting with his back against the wall of some shelled out building, waiting for his turn to take watch.

He woke up sometime after midnight and put away the remnants of his dinner, then made his way to the bedroom in hopes that he might continue to get some sleep stretched out in his own bed. As it turned out, he struck it lucky and did just that. His body was so tired that he went right back to sleep, at least for a few more hours.

Sometime around three o’clock he rolled over and touched something wet. For a moment, he thought he was having another bad dream. It was one of those recurring things about being in a trench — wet, cold, afraid. A whimper came to him, sending his heart racing. A fallen comrade. How bad was he? In his haze, he felt further, trying to find out the cause of his pain by touch only, the darkness preventing further inspection.

Confusion set in as he realized he was touching fur. It was thick but very wet and whatever it was kept heaving — a wounded animal, perhaps. He heard the whimper again. This time it was clear, louder. The haze began to lift as he realized he wasn’t in a foxhole somewhere in some forsaken place. He was at home in his bed. Whatever he was touching was in bed with him. Apollo . . .

Jake jumped up and turned on the light, expecting to see a filthy dog lying there, one that he would chastise for crawling through some wet field and then through the dirt beneath the back fence before jumping up in the bed with him. Instead, he saw a dog that was wet, but obviously in distress. His body was quivering, and his chest heaved. Every so often, he whimpered.

“Oh, God!” Jake said with his pulse racing. He ran to the other side of the bed to get a better look at the dog. There were no signs of blood anywhere, but he was slobbering at the mouth. Jake grabbed his phone and hit speed dial, trying to remain calm while he waited for an answer. Her voice was sleepy as she came on the line.

“Hello? Jake?” she said, obviously having seen who was calling before she picked up.

“I’m sorry, Vanessa. It’s Apollo. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He’s sick. I think he’s dying,” he babbled.

“Okay. Okay. Just calm down. I’m on my way.”

“No. I’ll come to you. You have your clinic there. I don’t know what he needs. I’ll come to you.”

Jake didn’t wait for an answer. He ended the call and stuffed his phone into his jean’s pocket, grabbing his keys from the nightstand and then gathering Apollo up in his arms. He took him out and lay him in the front seat before jumping behind the wheel and tearing out of the driveway toward the vet clinic making it in record time, thankfully not crossing paths with a sheriff’s deputy along the way. He really couldn’t say for sure what he might do if they were to pull him over while he was trying to get help for Apollo.

Vanessa already had the clinic doors open and the lights on waiting for him when he got there. Jake ran inside with Apollo and followed her to an exam room, putting him on the table for her to check.

“You have any idea what he got into?” she asked.

“No. He came home like that I think. I was asleep, and when I woke up, he was in bed with me like that.”

“He’s been poisoned from the looks of it.”

“Someone did this on purpose?” Jake pursed his lips.

“I don’t know. They might have, or the dog might have just gotten into something. I’m going to give him a medication to make him sick and counteract the poison. He’s not going to feel well for a while. We’ll need to keep a close watch on him until he is up and about.”

“Thank you, Vanessa. I’m goin to.”

Jake couldn’t help himself. Apollo meant everything to him. He didn’t know what he would do if Apollo didn’t make it.

“Just have a seat over there.” Vanessa nodded toward a chair.

Jake did as she asked, sitting in a chair on one side of the room while she administered some sort of fluids in a syringe. Apollo squirmed on the table, fighting the invasive therapy with what little strength he had. At first, he seemed to just be in great distress. Vanessa had him strapped down to the table now so that he couldn’t get too out of hand.

It was hard to watch, but it seemed to get better after he finally began to spit up whatever vial contents were making him ill. Vanessa caught a bit of it in a vile and set it aside. After a while, Apollo settled down a bit but still lay on the table looking incredibly sick. It did seem that his breathing was a bit more normal though, so that was something to be happy for, at least.

“Jake, reach into that closet over there and grab one of the blankets,” she told him.

Jake did as she asked, pulling free a thick blanket and walking over to her. Vanessa took it from him and told him to pick up Apollo and follow her. Walking behind her with Apollo cradled in his arms, Jake made his way to the back and into her house, where she lay the blanket on her living room floor and told him to put Apollo there. “He’s going to be fine. He just needs to rest. We might as well be comfortable while he recuperates.

Jake nodded and put him down, stroking his ears. He was relieved to see Apollo’s tail wag just the slightest little bit. He was going to recover. Thank God!

They sat and talked while keeping a close eye on him. Before they knew it, the sun was coming up, and Apollo was up moving around just a bit. Jake felt bad that he had kept her up half the night when she should have been sleeping, getting ready for the day to come.

“Can I take him home now? Will he be okay? I know you need to get on with your day and we’ve kept you up for hours.”

“He’ll be fine. He just needed to purge the poisons in his system. I will take what I gathered and send it to the lab for testing so we can see what he ingested. It will help us sort out whether someone might have done this on purpose or if we need to take precautions so this won’t happen again.”

“Thanks,” he said. Jake leaned forward without even thinking and gave her a light kiss on the lips, but quickly retreated once he realized what he had done. To his surprise, she pulled him back in and kissed him again. When she pulled away, he looked at her shocked, not sure what to make of it.

“You said…” he began, but she cut him off.

“Perhaps we shouldn’t think so much,” Vanessa suggested.

Jake nodded, not sure if he was elated or terrified.

“Come on Apollo,” he said, grateful when the dog followed him out on his own four legs, even if it was a bit slow and wobbly.

When Jake got home, he locked the dog door. Apollo wasn’t going to be happy, but Jake had to sequester him inside until he patched up the dog fence. Once Apollo felt better, he would take him back to Vanessa for the neutering. Assured the dog would be alright there alone, he decided to run to town for a few supplies, but first stopping by the barn to fill Tucker in on things.

****

The summer sun was high in the sky by the time Jake made it to Winn Dixie. After picking up what he needed he headed back out toward his truck. Just as he placed the last sack of groceries in one side of the toolbox behind the cab two of Kessler’s bulldogs stepped in front of him.

“The boss sent us to have a little chat with you,” the uglier of the two said, though they were both pretty hideous.

Jake slammed down the toolbox lid and said, “About what? I made my payment. Next one isn’t due.”

“It’s about that woman he sent you to see. The one with the boy,” the ugly one said stepping closer.

“What about her?”

“It seems you didn’t lean on her hard enough. You aren’t getting soft on the customers, are you?”

Jake threw up his hands. “What are you talking about. I broke her arm. Didn’t you see it when she made her payment?”

“Payment? See her?” He snorted, eyeing Jake up and down.

“Ain’t nobody seen that bitch. She and the boy up and skipped town without giving Mr. Kessler his money.”

“Sorry to hear that, but what’s it got to do with me?” Jake asked as he took off his Stetson, smoothed his hair, and put it back on his head.

“You didn’t do your job. Your job was to make her pay up, not run off.”

“Listen, I did what I was asked to do. I went there, talked to her, gave her a warning. She was so frail that her arm snapped like a twig when I grabbed her. Don't you think that’s harsh enough... breaking the arm of a fucking cancer patient in front of her kid?”

The other one shook his finger in Jake’s face and hissed through his teeth saying, “All I know is that Mr. Kessler told us to come down here and remind you what it meant to rough up a guy.”

“I guess you best have at it then, boys,” Jake said with a smirk.

Jake was prepared as the first one came at him, fingers covered with rings designed to do damage with every punch. The problem was that they were big, but Jake was well trained. Despite it being two against one, when it was all over, the two of them lay on the ground bleeding, and he stood looking around at the crowd that had gathered to watch the fight.

Blue lights flashed as two police cars rolled in and parked on either side of his black Ford, barring any exit he might hope to make. Jake was breathless when he looked down at the two men on the ground. Neither had gotten up, but they were still breathing. Glancing over to one side, Jake saw Glenn, a city policeman with whom he was well acquainted from the many previous encounters he’d had with the police, striding his way with a grim expression on his face.

“What’s going on here, Morrow?” Glenn said as he stomped into the center of things.

“These two jumped me while I was loading supplies in my truck,” Jake told him picking up his hat.

“Any reason why they would do that?” Glenn asked in a sarcastic tone.

Jake shrugged. “No idea. Maybe just having a bad day.”

One of the other cops was radioing for an ambulance when the ugly thug began to come around, struggling to get to his feet. “No. No. We don’t need no ambulance,” he said.

“Maybe you don’t, but your friend might,” the cop replied nodding at the other guy bleeding on the pavement.

“He’s fine. Don’t you worry about him,” the thug said as he gave his buddy a slight kick in the ribs with the side of his boot.

“Come on, Jake. I’m taking you in,” Glenn said.

“For what?” Jake asked with a look of surprise.

“Assault and battery.”

Jake wiped his sweaty face on his sleeve. Then he made a sweeping gesture with his arm drawing their attention to the parking lot. “Got any witnesses that I did anything like that?” Jake asked.

Glenn looked up and around him. The crowd had retreated back into their cars and the shops. Glenn pursed his lips and shook his head. “Don’t need any. I’ve got two men here that said you jumped them,” Glenn explained.

“I did, but I didn’t say I hit them,” Jake snapped.

Glenn placed his hands on his hips. “You’re saying they did this to themselves?”

“Who knows. People are weird these days,” Jake replied glancing over at Kessler’s beat up goons.

“Man, we ain’t pressing charges. Get your punk asses out of here,” the second man growled at Glenn and the other cops as he struggled to his feet.

“This is going to go all wrong for you at some point,” Glenn said, addressing all three of them it seemed.

“We don’t need no lectures,” one of them growled back at him. The goon jerked his neck toward one side of the parking lot as an indication for his partner to join him, and they stormed off, no doubt back to Kessler’s to report in.

“This isn’t finished,” Glenn told Jake.

“I think it is. Now, if you could move your car, I’ve got a ranch to get back to.”

Glenn signaled for the other officers to roll out and they all climbed into their cars to leave. Jake sat in the truck for just a moment, gathering his wits. He might appear calm on the outside, but he was really beginning to lose his mind over all this nonsense. This wouldn’t be the end of it. Glenn was right about that. Kessler would not be happy about him giving his two bulldogs a good hiding.

He was barely on the road when his phone rang. He glanced at it. It was Kessler. He groaned and hit the speaker button to answer the call.

“Yep,” he said.

“Is that any way to answer your phone?” Kessler asked.

“It is when I knew it was you calling to give me more shit. I did what you asked, and you sent your boys after me for something that wasn’t my fault. You’re the one who can’t control your customers.”

“Oh, don’t you worry. I’ll find her and get my money when I do.”

“Can’t even give a dying woman a break? Are you really that desperate?” Jake hissed into the phone.

“She has a debt. I didn’t give her cancer.”

“Your a rotten fuck, Kessler!”

He laughed. “And so are you Jake, old buddy. Now, cut the shit. I need you to make it up to me. I’ve got an address for you to go to and lean on pretty hard.”

“Why don’t you send your boys?”

“I was going to, but it seems like someone beat the shit out of them just a while ago. Now, you have to go in their place.”

“Just give me the damned address,” Jake yelled.

There was no use arguing with Kessler. He was doomed to be locked at the hips with this man until he could somehow find the funds to break their ties.

“Let me know when it is done,” Kessler told him after the name and address.

“Yep,” Jake replied, ending the call while Kessler was still attempting to babble about something.

Rather than go home, Jake went ahead and made his way to the small farm to see a guy name, Ricky Breckenridge. He wasn’t surprised to see the crops were yellow and uncultivated. Pulling up to the front of the house, Jake walked up to the front door and knocked. A man about the age his father would have been when he died came to answer it.

“You Ricky?”

“That’s me, son. What can I help you with?”

“Mr. Kessler sent me to collect a payment from you.”

He saw fear pass through the man’s face as he waited for a response. It seemed like an eternity before the man said. “I don’t have it.”

“When will you have it?”

“I don’t know.”

“You know that answer isn’t going to fly with him, Mr. Breckinridge. He expects a payment from you, or he expects me to rough you up enough so you will find an idea for how to get it. It won’t stop. I beat you up today and two days from now, two guys much meaner than me will turn up to break your legs.”

“I got my pension coming in three days. I can get him a payment then. I don’t know how I’m going to eat or pay my bills without it, but I’ll make sure he gets it.” The man peered down at his feet.

“Three days isn’t good enough. He said I could only give you two.” Jake shook his head.

“I guess we’ve got a problem then,” the man said sadly, the fear creeping back into his eyes.

Jake took a deep breath and then shot his fists forward, first his right and then his left. He caught the man in the eye with one and across the lip with the other, catching him before he could fall backward. The man gasped as blood gushed from his lip and his eye swelled.

“I’m sorry about that, Mr. Breckinridge. I didn’t want you to see it coming. It will hurt, but you won’t die, and if anyone comes around here to look at you, they will see you’ve already been dealt with. I suggest you tell them I did far more harm than just sucker punched you. I’ll tell Mr. Kessler that I put you in bed with a good beating and you’ll pay him in three days when you get your pension. I think he’ll accept that if he thinks you’ve been punished for being late.”

“Thanks,” the man said gloomily, shutting the door without another word.

Jake walked away feeling like the biggest asshole on the planet. He had done the guy a favor, but it hadn’t felt nice at all to hit him. The thought that he was going to be in such dire straits without his pension killed Jake, but he had his own distress to deal with. Just like Mr. Breckenridge, he was in up to his eyeballs too.

On his way home, Jake called Kessler and gave him the news as he saw fit to deliver it. Kessler muttered and bitched a little, but Jake told him that the old man didn’t have the money and putting him in the hospital was only going to delay payment further. In the end, Kessler accepted it and hung up, but not without reminding Jake not to miss his next payment either. The truth was that, in a fair fight, like today, the two goons Kessler employed didn’t stand a chance, but they didn’t fight fair. The next time they came for him, they would be prepared. It might be a knife, or it might be a gun, but they weren’t about to let him best them twice. As it was, Jake would have to watch his back.

****

When he returned home, Jake went to work around the ranch, checking on Apollo periodically. He seemed to be fine now, other than complaining in the form of barking and whining because he couldn’t get out of the house. It would be annoying if Jake weren’t so grateful that he was okay.

Once he was finished with his ranch chores, Jake set about repairing the back fence so that Apollo couldn’t escape so easily. He wasn’t sure that it would work, but it would make it harder and Jake would keep an eye out to see if he was tearing up sections before he got to the point where he had a viable escape route.

After a quick shower and a dinner of some roasted pork he had picked up at the deli in town, along with a salad, he and Apollo sat watching an old western until they had both fallen asleep by the glow of the television. Jake awoke hours later and did what he always did, made his way to the bedroom to try to finish out the night’s sleep. Apollo followed behind him, climbing onto the other side and stretching out on top of the covers.

Thankfully, his exhaustion kicked in again and allowed him to sleep through the night with relatively few dreams, though he did remember some snippets as he awoke the next morning. It was like frozen scenes in his mind, a slide show, rather than any actual dreams, except one. The most vivid was the one dream that wasn’t about explosions and death. The one light in the darkness was something unusual for him. He dreamed about what it might be like to be with Vanessa. It was his mind wandering, exploring what it would be like to be with someone he could possibly have a life with and more.

The dream started where their morning had left off. Jake was at Vanessa's place with Apollo, but instead of it being daylight, it was still much earlier. She had insisted on coming back home with him when they left, to keep an eye on Apollo until he was completely out of the woods. Then, she had been about to leave, but he had stopped her on the front porch.

“Will you stay with me a while longer?” he asked.

“Of course,” she told him, standing and reaching for his hand.

They walked quietly into the house, pushing the door closed behind them and leaned against it as they kissed again, neither of them holding anything back. Their heated kisses lead to an urgency that they couldn’t deny, their clothes slowly falling to the floor as they peeled them from one another on the way to his bedroom. There was no going back as their naked bodies intertwined across his bed, exploring one another eagerly.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered against her skin, planting soft kisses as he took a slow tour of her perfect contours. Her back arched toward him as he made his way from the soft globes of her breasts to her rapidly moistening folds and lapped at her velvet center. She moaned beneath him as he grew more and more aggressive with his tongue, suckling her clit while she writhed beneath him in ecstasy. Her nails dug into the bed, her hips rising to meet his mouth as he quickly brought her to one of several orgasms and eagerly drank the fruit of his labors from her center.

“God, I want you inside of me,” she cried out pulling him upward toward her.

He resisted, continuing his maddening assault on her dripping folds as she squirmed beneath him. He thought she might pass out. Her nails dug ferociously into his back, driving him crazy. The vibrations seemed to send shock waves down her legs. They visibly quivered as she shattered into yet another climax.

“Incredible,” he whispered against her skin as he dragged his lips up her stomach and across her breasts, taking his time sucking and biting at them, prolonging the ache he felt for her. His mouth covered hers as he moved up to kiss her, exploring her deeply with his tongue and slowly slipping inside her. Vanessa felt amazing as their bodies rocked back and forth in a mating ritual as old as time itself.

Pulling away from her mouth, he sank his teeth into her neck, causing her to cry out. It only encouraged him as he plunged deeper into her center, grinding his hips against hers with each thrust. They were like a single entity in motion as they met each other’s body violently, their passion taking on a new life as Vanessa’s cries of ecstasy sounded in perfect harmony with Jake’s moans of pleasure. His staying power was incredible, lasting for what felt like hours. Jake lost count of how many times she had climaxed before he sank into her one last time, filling her with a warm flood of orgasmic bliss.

They lay there in the aftermath, her head resting on his chest as he stroked her hair. Neither of them spoke for a while, but it was Jake who finally broke the halcyon silence.

“That was amazing,” he breathed into her hair.

“Yes, it was,” she replied.

Then she had slipped back into the darkness from which she had been born. She was lost among the bits and pieces of nightmares that refused to die. Jake found himself wondering if he would ever know her in such an intimate way or if he were doomed to just be friends with her and never know how she might taste or feel. The dream had been real, all too real. It had been a very long time since he had dreamed of a woman. It had been too long since he had even thought of being with one.

His current situation wasn’t one he had been willing to involve anyone in, but there were still plenty of women who would be pleased to accommodate him with no strings attached. That had never been his style though. Plenty of men out there were content just to find some satisfaction with anyone who might be interested, but that wasn’t his nature. He wanted more. He needed more.

Of course, even with the kiss last night, he doubted things would ever progress to the point where anything more would happen. He knew that was best, but it wasn’t what he wanted. It was far from it. He could maybe cope with the PTSD, the anxiety, but no way could he get someone involved with him in his current situation with Kessler. Unless he could pay off his debt, which seemed a grim proposition at the moment, he was doomed to be a thug for him.

It hadn’t been so horrible when he was dealing with crackheads and wife beaters, but now he had progressed to cancer patients and old men. It would only get worse, he was afraid. At what point did he get caught between doing the human thing and protecting his own hide? It was a line he had no desire to cross.

The phone rang, and he saw that it was Vanessa, so he picked it up. It was still early, and he hadn’t even gotten dressed to go out to the barn yet. Tucker would be looking for him soon.

“Hello?” he said into the phone.

“Hey. I just wanted to check on Apollo before I got out and about for the day. Is he still doing well?”

“Yes. Thank you so much. He seems none the worse for wear really.”

“That’s good to hear. How about you? You are okay?”

“Me? Yeah, I’m just fine.”

“Great. We’ll talk soon then, I guess.”

“Yes. I still need to get him back in the office with you to get neutered. I patched up the back fence to keep him from getting out, hopefully. It might help if he doesn’t have a reason to want to leave though.”

“It will help. Plus, there will be fewer puppies floating around the county.”

“Right. You never know, the dogs in this county might become extinct altogether.”

“I doubt that,” she laughed. “Anyway, I have to get going. Talk to you later.”

“Talk soon.”

Jake ended the call with a broad smile on his face. He felt just the tiniest bit in lighter spirits as he made his way to the shower and got ready for the day to come.

****

Jake’s past enthusiasm had been short-lived. Several days followed. His phone calls to Vanessa had gone unanswered, and he began to wonder if she was perhaps ill — or something worse — until that afternoon when a neighboring rancher told him that she had stopped by and tended to one of his pregnant sows earlier that day. It was if she was avoiding him completely and he had no idea why. Things between them seemed to have been picking up until lately, and she had been completely missing in action. What could he possibly have done to offend her? There was a temptation just to let it go, be done with it, but he didn’t want to. Instead, he thought of the one excuse he had to contact her — again.

Rather than calling her cell, Jake dialed her office number. He was surprised to find himself talking to a different voice on the phone, feeling a moment of panic as the young lady first spoke.

“Is Dr. Hart in?” he asked.

“Yes, she is with a patient right now. Can I help you with something?”

“I don’t know. Who is this?”

“Oh, my god. I’m sorry,” the girl gushed. “This is Heather. I’m her new receptionist. I’m still learning.”

“I see. Heather, I need to make an appointment for my dog to be neutered.” Jake spoke into the phone.

“Sure. I can set that up for you. When did you want to bring Apollo in?”

“As soon as there is a slot available.”

“I can get you in next week. Monday at 7 a.m. Would that work for you?”

“Sounds perfect,” he replied, thinking it would be a good time before the clinic got too busy or she had to get out for rounds through the county. Hopefully, it would give him a chance to see what was wrong. Perhaps he was just paranoid, and it had nothing to do with him.

“Okay. Let me get your details, and I’ll put you on the books,” Heather told him.

Jake gave her what she needed, and they said their goodbyes. He still puzzled over what he might have done to cause a rift but could think of absolutely nothing. It was only Tuesday, so Jake had nearly a week to wait. Maybe she’d come around in that time, and he’d find out what had been keeping her away.

The week crawled by with nothing from her. He could only assume that she didn’t want to talk to him. The more surprising thing, however, was just how much that bothered him. For awhile Jake had found a little bit of hope, but now, he was back to feeling nothing but the grim realities of his life.