Thiessen panicked. There was nothing else to it.

For a breathless moment, he’d gotten caught up in the softness of Jory’s lips as they caressed his—and then everything inside of him came to a screeching halt. Warning bells wailed at the back of his skull. His mind on shutdown and his body barely functioning, he’d uttered a half-baked apology before slamming the door in Jory’s handsome face.

Game over.

Anxiety screaming through his veins, he’d paced the floors and shouted at the walls and cursed himself a hundred times over. So fucking useless. He was a goddamn coward. One little kiss and he flipped his shit? Jory had kissed him and instead of taking full advantage of that, he freaked.

His phone had buzzed and his stomach bottomed out at the words that danced across his screen: I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. Please don’t hate me. No. He could never hate Jory. He hated himself. He hated his inability to function like a normal human being. He hated that he’d shoved Jory away from him and went into hiding. He was afraid and he hated it, so he did the only thing he could think of.

He got smashed.

The fiery burn of the alcohol was a welcome reprieve from the pain singing a falsetto pitch through his soul. In that moment, taking shot after shot of eighty-proof poison, he hated himself so much that he decided this was his punishment. He’d fucked up a good thing. He’d fucked up everything, so he drank until he couldn’t see straight.

And then he blacked out and he couldn’t see at all.

He woke up stiff on the cold tile of the bathroom floor, with puddles of vomit smeared deep in the grout. The smell was horrendous and he’d barely sat up before he began to heave again. Stomach twisted, he puked until there was nothing left in him. In the end, it didn’t change anything; he still felt heartsick, he just had a splitting migraine on top of it. Like someone was driving ice picks through his eye sockets and into his brain.

All he wanted to do was curl up in his blankets, a soggy human burrito, and take a long depression nap. He turned his phone off and stuffed it in the kitchen junk drawer, unable to stomach the idea of Jory calling him. He couldn’t handle that right now. He took a hot shower to wash off the reek of booze and puke, then climbed between the sheets completely naked.

And that’s where he stayed—at least until someone began to pound on his front door.

“Go away,” he croaked, burrowing deeper into his blanket cocoon. He knew it was Peri, just a gut feeling he had. He also knew that she’d give him five minutes before she punched in the key code to his garage door and let herself in. Sure enough, her melodious voice began hollering for him from down the hall. Thiessen groaned and tried to disappear.

His door swung open to bang against the opposite wall. “Thiessen?”

“Go away…”

“What happened? You worried me. I’ve been trying to call you for the past two hours and it sends me straight to voicemail. What’s going on? Talk to me.” She came into his room and sat down at the corner of his bed, patting over his leg.

“Leave me alone.” He dragged the covers up over his face, because he felt dangerously close to losing his shit all over again. “I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to talk, period. Just go away.”

“Thiessen Emery Ward,” she barked in that take-no-shit tone of voice she’d mastered so well. “No. Sit up and talk to me. Jory texted me. He told me what happened. Thiessen, he’s worried about you.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“It does so matter! You like him!”

“Please.” He yanked the blankets away from his face to glare at her. “Just… Drop it. I don’t want to talk about it. I feel like enough of a fucking failure without you rubbing my nose in it. Damn it!” His eyes burned, his vision going watery try as he might to swipe the tears away. He couldn’t suck in enough air and it felt like his lungs might explode. “Please.”

“Thee, this isn’t the end of all things, jeez. Just text him and let him apologize and you’ll be fine.”

“It doesn’t matter!” he screamed at her, his voice raw and hoarse. “It would’ve never worked out. I’m too messed up, too fucking broken. I can’t be what he needs. He’s a good guy and he shouldn’t waste his time on me.” The pain of it was like a vice grip, squeezing too tight, strangling him.

“Oh, shut up!” Peri snapped back. “You’re just upset. You are not broken! You just need to pull your head out from up your ass and open your eyes. Is this about Bo?” Thiessen flinched at the way she said his name. Her voice dropped low once more. “Bo isn’t coming back, Thiessen, no matter what you do. You need to move on. You deserve to be happy and not...rot away like this. Jesus Christ, I want you to be happy!”

“It isn’t happening. Please, just leave me alone.” The fight slowly seeped out of him, leaving him as deflated as a week-old balloon caught in the spindly branches of a dead tree. He sagged beneath his blankets and cried, his head bowed as he tried to fight for breath. “Please,” he choked out.

“You’re being selfish. Jory cares about you and you’re so damn stubborn, you’ll just let him walk away. You know what? Fine. You want me to leave, then I’m gone. Maybe you’re right. Maybe Jory does deserve better.” She let out a sob a moment before she spun away. Her footsteps pounded down the hall and the front door slammed shut hard enough to shake him up, but it was her words that cut deep.

Buckling over, he held his stomach and broke. The wail that erupted from the deepest part of him was wounded, like a little piece of him was dying and he couldn’t stop it from hurting all the way down. He curled up on his side and cried. He cried until his cheeks were raw and his throat ached and his pillow was soaked with tears. He let it all come pouring out.

“Fuck.”

There was a storm building in his heart, thunderous and wild, and suddenly the bedroom was too small of a cage. Anxiety riding him hard, he tossed back the covers and hurriedly got dressed. He needed to get out. He needed to get away, go away, go anywhere but here. He laced up his sneakers and grabbed his jacket off the hook in the foyer, then went outside.

He needed to walk it off, because right now he was filled with pain and regret and a numbing sort of sadness. He took off towards town at a steady clip, eying the gray skies overhead. He’d nearly reached the square when the first raindrop fell to land on his forehead. Of course. Could today get any worse? The second dripped down his nose and moments later, he was half-limping, half-running through a downpour.

He tossed his head back and screamed at the sky. The sky rumbled right back, and then a high-pitched yelp rang out. Thiessen spun around and squinted through the rain. Up on the bridge, three teenage boys were gathered around a small grey dog, kicking the shit out of her. Another whimper of pain, followed by a peal of cruel laughter, and Thiessen’s blood went cold.

“Shut the fuck up!” The voices that still haunted him crept into his mind, stuttering his breath. “No one fucking cares! You’re trash. Worthless.”

“Hey!” He hobbled up the incline of the bridge, waving both arms in the air. “Hey, you assholes, stop! Leave her alone!”

A piggish red-headed boy sneered at him. “Mind your own business, gimpy!”

“Hah! Good one!” a shorter guy with pockmarks barked out. “Get outta here!”

Pigboy swung his leg back and kicked at the dog again, sending her toppling over onto her side with a pitiful whine. It was a plea, a cry for help, and suddenly all Thiessen could see was himself lying broken on the ground. The scruffy mutt made no move to fight back.

“Stop it, you little shits!” Thiessen snarled. “Didn’t your parents teach you any better than to beat a poor animal?” He edged closer, intending to squeeze himself between the helpless dog and her assailants, but the boys cracked up laughing. Before he knew what was happening, something struck his face with a sharp bite of pain.

“Screw off, cripple. No one asked you.” The third hoodlum, tall and broad-shouldered, reached and grabbed another rock. “Get lost!” He flung the stone at Thiessen, pelting his neck this time.

Ire rising, Thiessen swooped down and picked up the stone, his fingers curling around its roughened edges. Taking another step forward, he wheeled back his arm and let the rock fly. It struck its target right between the eyes. Pigboy and Pockmark fell completely silent, their mouths open in shock.

The tall boy snarled a curse. “Stupid bitch!” But instead of attacking Thiessen, he lunged for the cowering mutt. Grabbing her roughly by the scruff of the neck, he dangled her out in front of Thiessen, his grin almost sadistic. “Fetch, cripple!”

“Stop!” Thiessen cried, but the damage had already been done. The boy threw the dog over the side of the bridge and all Thiessen could hear was her shriek of pain as she collided with the ground.

“Damn you!” He rushed them, but the boys took off down the street, their raucous laughter ringing in his ears. He reached the side of the bridge and leaned over the cement and steel beams, blinking rainwater from his eyes.

The river rushed past, a wicked current, but somehow the dog had landed in the ravine just above the water’s edge. She huddled there, whimpering pitifully. Alive. Wounded. Cursing low, Thiessen hurried around to the side of the bridge, where the earth sloped steeply. He stepped forwards, hoping to ease his way down and rescue the beaten dog, but it was slick and muddy and he went down hard. His knee crunched and twisted to the side, sending a jolt of pain up his leg.

“Fuck! Fuck… What do I do? Think, Thiessen, think.” He tried to get up, rising unsteadily to his knees, only to slide down a little bit farther. His shoes gained no traction on the muddy ground, try as he might to kick his way back up. With each movement, his knee throbbed to the tune of his heartbeat. He needed to get help. Jory. Jory would help him. He patted his pockets for his phone, only to remember that he left it at home.

“Shit! Okay, don’t panic. Breathe.” He quickly looked around, taking in his surroundings. Inches above him, he saw the wet gleam of mangled roots jutting from the earth. He grabbed a hold and hoisted himself up, his feet slipping as he climbed and clawed his way through the mud. He panted for breath, the rain still pelting his face as he sagged at the top of the ditch. He had to get help. The river would rise and sweep that poor pup under.

Staggering to his feet, he limped towards the vet clinic as fast as he could manage. He bit down hard, bracing against each fresh wave of pain that rippled up his thigh to wrap around his hip. He barely made it up the steps before he flung the door open, dripping muddy water all over the tile floors.

“I need help,” he managed to warble out, collapsing against the tall counters that circled the reception area.

“Thiessen?” Hemi took one look at him and raced around the corner, his mouth open in shock. “Holy hell, are you okay? Jory!” He twisted around and shouted for the man, then reached for Thiessen. He touched his face, where the stone had split skin. “You’re bleeding. What happened? Jory!”

“There’s a d-dog and I need—I need—” He stumbled over the words, still gasping for breath. Jory came sprinting down the hall, but the moment he saw Thiessen, he skidded to a stop. He opened his mouth, no doubt to ask the same stupid questions. Frustration burned inside of him. “Please. I need help!”

Jory’s voice was smooth and gentle. “Easy. Relax, we’ll help. We’ll all help, but you have to tell me what happened. Come here.” He stepped into Thiessen’s space and Thiessen burst into tears all over again as he collided with Jory’s chest. The man’s arms wrapped tightly around him, hugging him close, and Thiessen pinched his eyes closed.

The dog. He had to save the dog. The words spilled out of him in a rush, even with Hemi and Jory both urging him to slow down and take his time. “We don’t have time! The river is rising and she’ll die! You have to help her. Please…”

“Listen to me, Thiessen. We’re gonna save her, but you gotta tell me where she is.”

“I’ll show you—”

Jory frowned. “You’re hurt.”

“Doesn’t matter.” He wiped his face with the soaked sleeve of his jacket and dragged in a shaking breath. He was so cold. “I’ll take you to her. We need rope, though.”

“Thiessen—”

His emotions pitched. “Don’t argue with me, damn it! Just help me!”

“Okay. Okay.” Jory turned to Hemi, who’d already pulled on his coat, ready and willing to go to any lengths to help a life in need. “My keys are hanging on the hook in the office. There’s rope in the back of my car. Grab it and find us. Hurry.” He pointed to a blonde-haired girl in pink scrubs. “Michelle, hold down the fort. We’ve got a dog to save.”

The rain came down in sheets, cold and unforgiving. Jory immediately regretted not grabbing his coat, but time was of the essence. Thiessen looked utterly exhausted, shivering and soaked, but he was hellbent on going back for the dog. Jory didn’t argue with him, but his heart ached. Thiessen whimpered softly every few hobbled steps he took, the pain clear as day on his face.

Thiessen was the last person Jory expected to see today, but god if he wasn’t a sight for sore eyes. He told himself that the moment they found the dog and she was safe and sound, he would apologize for what he’d done, even if that kiss had felt so right.

“Come on!” Thiessen reached the side of the bridge and bent over the bannister, cursing like a sailor. “I can’t see her. God, what if we’re too late?” He reeled back. Jory caught his arm with one hand and cupped his chin in the other, forcing the man to look up at him. Thiessen’s eyes were bloodshot and swollen, as if he’d been sobbing his heart out. “Jory—”

“No. Look.” He carefully swung one leg over the side of the bridge, straddling over it. He gripped the cement bannister with both hands. There was a patch of darkness, just out of sight, but if he squinted, he could make out a long, kinked tail. “There she is. She’s okay, alright, Thee? We’re gonna get her, so breathe. Just breathe. Hemi, over here!”

Hemi splashed up beside them, his hood tugged up over his head. Several yards of thick rope was looped around his arm. “Tell me what to do, boss,” he said. “I’m pretty good with a knot.”

Jory carefully maneuvered so he was back on his feet, taking several steps back to survey their surroundings. He gestured to the bridge. “Right there. Tie it good, because I’m gonna have to go down the ditch. It’s gotta hold my weight.” Luckily, Thiessen said the dog was small and scruffy, so probably a terrier of some kind. Something easily grabable, even if she tried to put up a fight.

Hemi wrapped the rope around Jory’s waist, knotting it snugly. He gave a few tugs for good measure, then attached the rest of the rope to the bars of the bridge. “You ready?” He glanced quickly between Thiessen and Jory, then peered over the bannister to the embankment down below. The embankment Jory was about to traverse.

“Ready. Hold tight, Thee.” Jory patted his arm and made his way over to the steep ravine. He could already feel the mud and muck giving way beneath his shoes before he ever took a step. Holding tight to the rope, he inched his way down the embankment, the soles of his work shoes slipping over the wet soil. “Hey! I can see her. Poor girl. She looks so scared.”

The dog was small and scruffy and covered in mud. When she saw him, she hunkered down with a low growl, her floppy ears drooping. She side-eyed him, not that he blamed her. Thiessen said those boys had beaten her.

“Easy, pretty girl. I’m here to help you. Come here, sweetheart. Come on. Come to Jory.” He reached out his hand, palm up, and wiggled his fingers. Damn it, he should’ve grabbed a few biscuits or something to entice her. “Here, sweetie. Right here.”

She let out a mournful sound, halfway between a whine and a howl, and then stretched to sniff his palm. Her bony tail slapped the mud. On shaky legs, she hobbled towards him, one step after the other. Jory frowned. She seemed to be dragging her back legs… Not good. His fingers brushed over wiry fur, trying to soothe her with his touch. “Almost there. Come on, pretty girl. Just a little bit closer—gotcha!”

He snagged her scruff and dragged her close, then wrapped both arms around her. She yelped and flailed, then immediately went limp in his grasp. Turning back, he hoisted her up under his armpit and grabbed the rope with the other hand, giving a yank.

“I got her. Pull me up.” The rope went taut, dragging at his hips when Hemi began to reel him in. He staggered and slipped his way back up the slope. By the time he reached the top, he was out of breath, but they’d done it. They’d saved the dog.

Thiessen choked out a thank you. “She’s okay?”

He didn’t want to stress the man out anymore than he already was, so Jory gave a quick nod. “I’ll check her out as soon as we’re back at the clinic. Come on, let’s get out of the weather.”

When they pushed through the front doors, the first thing Jory did was hand the dog off to Michelle and Amy. “Wash her off and get her warm and settled in a cage. I’ll be back to look her over in a bit.” They wrapped the mutt in a plush towel and scurried off. Hemi peeled off his wet hoodie, laying it over the countertop.

It was Thiessen who Jory was worried about right now.

“Come on, Thee. Let’s go to the back. I’ve got some fresh scrubs you can wear. Might not look the cutest, but they’re dry.” He offered a sheepish smile. “Hemi, can you brew us a fresh pot of coffee? I have the feeling we’re gonna need it.” Before Thiessen could argue, Jory wrapped his arm around the man’s shoulder and guided him to the office.

“Easy does it.” Jory eased Thiessen down onto a plastic chair. The man all but collapsed there, shivering so hard his teeth clattered together. Jory knelt down in front of him. “Talk to me. Are you okay?”

“N-No.”

“Okay. Hold tight. I’m gonna go find a towel and some dry clothes so you can change. No one’s gonna bother you back here, I promise.” He hurried off down the hall, grabbing several towels from the bathing area, as well as a threadbare quilt that someone had donated last week. It wouldn’t be very warm, but it was clean and smelled like his lavender dryer sheets.

He set out the spare pair of blue scrubs he kept in the cubbies. “These should fit you. They’re Hemi’s. Get out of those wet clothes and into something dry. I’ll let you change in peace.” He offered a small smile and left the room, shutting the door behind him to give Thiessen some privacy.

He ducked into the staff bathroom and quickly stripped down. He washed the mud off his hands and arms at the basin, then scrubbed his skin dry before dressing in a fresh pair of scrubs himself. Raking his fingers through his unruly black mane, he set his shoes upside down on top of the heat register and meandered barefoot through the office.

“How is she?” Neither of his techs said a word; the look they exchanged told him everything that he needed to know. The dog was in rougher shape than he’d hoped. “Damn it. How bad?” He leaned down to peer between the metal bars of the stainless steel cage. The scruffy mutt huddled in the back on a fleece blanket, shaking violently, her eyes half-closed.

“Pretty bad. I can’t say for certain, but I’m pretty sure her pelvis is broken. Her right hind leg’s in bad shape. Mangled. She wouldn’t let me get a good look, but I don’t think surgery’s gonna fix that. Probably got struck by a car.” Amy’s brows furrowed at the thought. “On top of that, there’s mange, mites and fleas. Poor thing’s gotta be anemic.”

Jory blew out a sigh. “Okay. I’ll take care of it. For right now, she’s situated and comfortable, so that’ll have to be enough. IV her and run fluids. She’s probably dehydrated, too.” Shaking his head, he headed back down the hall to the office. He hesitated outside the door before knocking. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” came Thiessen’s muffled response.

Jory found him curled up in the quilt, still shivering but less violently now. He looked like he’d been run through the ringer. The dark circles beneath his eyes and the shame coloring his cheeks told Jory that he really didn’t want to talk about them, if there was a them. But they needed to.

Grabbing his chair from behind the desk, he rolled it over and sat down in front of Thiessen. He opened his mouth to apologize when Thiessen began to speak. “I-I’m sorry. I’m an asshole. I panicked and shut you out, and then I panicked over that and my entire weekend went to shit because I was too much of a coward to text you back.” He hung his head. “I shouldn’t have… I should’ve… Fuck.”

“Hey.” Jory rested his hand on Thiessen’s knee, only for the man to hiss out in pain. Shit. “You’re hurt. What happened?” He reached down to tug the blanket away, to roll up Thiessen’s pant leg so he could inspect the wound, but Thiessen flinched back.

“I’m fine! Really. I was stupid. I thought maybe I could help the dog by myself, but it was too muddy and I fell. I twisted it, but I’m fine, I promise. Probably just a sprain. It’ll heal.”

Jory frowned. “I’ll get you some ice. I think there’s a bag in the staff fridge.”

“Jory—” he began, but Jory placed two fingers on the man’s lips. Whatever he was going to say dried up, but fresh tears glistened in Thiessen’s green eyes. He gently batted Jory’s hand away. “No. I need to say that I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… I shouldn’t have freaked out. I’m not mad at you. I just...I like you and I guess I got scared.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jory replied gently. “I shouldn’t have pushed.”

Thiessen’s shoulders bunched up around his neck. He swallowed audibly. “I… Warn me? Next time?” The way he said it made Jory pause. Would there be a next time? His heart pattered quickly. Thiessen lowered his eyes once more. “Peri and I had a fight. I walked into town. Stupid. Didn’t know it was gonna rain. Could you take me home when you’re finished with your shift?” He bit his lip.

“Of course. You’re cool to hang out in the office for awhile?” When Thiessen nodded, Jory smiled. “Would you like some coffee? Have you eaten today? No offense, but you look like hell warmed over.”

“Feel like it, too.” Thiessen’s mouth twitched. “I’ll be okay. Coffee sounds good, so long as it’s not black.” He pulled a face, his nose wrinkling up and his nostrils flaring.

Jory laughed at that. “Cream and sugar the hell out of it. Got it.” This time, Thiessen did smile and it warmed his heart. Jory stood. “I’ll go grab you an ice pack and some coffee and we can stop for something to eat on the way back to your place, okay?”

Tugging the covers back over himself, Thiessen nodded. “Thank you.”

“I’ll be back.”