The punch to his gut at Elam’s declaration knocked Nic back a few pegs. Yet, a burst of admiration also grew out of the disappointment. Elam knew better than to surge ahead without careful consideration when faced with such a major decision. He would be an excellent mate for a pack Alpha.
That is, if I was the pack Alpha.
Nic continued to caress Elam’s back, hoping that his explanation of the process had been both reassuring and accurate. Apparently, it had been long enough since anyone in the Alliance had turned a human, that even Asha wasn’t sure of all the details. Before Nic had left, she’d told him she would research the ancient archives.
‘You’ll have to record everything for us, Nicolai. You’ll be our guide in the modern age on what happens when a human receives the claim bite.’
Elam twisted in his embrace and faced him, wrapping his arms around his neck. “Hey. You must be hungry. I meant to have something ready for when you got back, but I didn’t get very far.”
Seriously? Nic swallowed down his emotions. “I wasn’t expecting that. And…what about everything I just said? If you need time alone, or er…would rather…” This talking things out shit is awkward. “I leave? Or… I could…”
Elam chuckled. “I don’t want you to leave. Okay, yeah. I’m pretty freaked out by all this. But I need to clear my head for a bit, do something normal.” Elam tensed as his eyes widened. “Oh God. I’m sorry, Nic. I didn’t mean to imply that you or your way of life aren’t normal. I think what I meant was preparing and eating a meal is a mundane activity and would give me something else to focus on for a couple hours.”
Nic nodded. “Don’t worry about it. This all came out of nowhere, I get it.” Heat flushed under Nic’s skin. “Caught me by surprise too.”
Elam furrowed his brow. “Really?”
“You have no idea. I’ve been alone for so many years, hell, I’m marching toward forty for fuck’s sake. I left my pack behind because I can’t be their Alpha without providing an heir, let alone not having a fated mate by my side. I never expected this to happen.”
Elam stared at him with rounded eyes. “Wait. You’re the pack Alpha?”
“Not anymore.” Nic’s belly rumbled. “Damn, guess I’m starving after all.” Nic eased Elam off his lap and onto the cushion then rose to his feet. “Tell you what. I’ll go get the rabbits out of my bag on the snowmobile and I’ll fill you in on the whole pack saga while we make dinner together. Deal?”
To Nic’s relief, Elam offered him a smile. “Deal. I can’t wait to hear all about it.”
Nic arched his eyebrows. “Yeah?”
Elam stood then gave him a peck on his lips before answering, “Yeah.”
* * * *
In the interest of time and hunger, they’d thrown together a quick soup with the rabbit and the canned beans, along with some boiled onions and potato. Nic had also brought back an amazing loaf of fresh Russian black bread that Elam had once had while on assignment. He’d have to get Nic’s sister’s recipe, so he could make some for them.
Elam set the mug he’d been washing down a little too hard and it cracked.
“Oh no, I’m sorry.”
Nic glanced over from where he’d been scouring the steel pot they’d used for their soup. “For what?”
Elam held up the broken cup. “I hope it wasn’t a special one.” He wasn’t sure since all of Nic’s crockery was mismatched.
Nic shrugged. “It’s just a mug. I’ve got plenty of others.”
After Nic took it from him and tossed it in the waste bin, they finished their after-dinner clean-up while Elam tried not to ponder why the errant thought about the bread recipe had jumped into his head. Why the idea of building a cozy home life with Nic seemed so natural instead of utterly terrifying. Mixed in with that was how badly he wanted—needed—Nic to fuck him. The unrelenting desire to be filled had been building since he met the man, each day becoming more urgent. The hand jobs—and even Nic’s expert blow jobs—hadn’t done shit to take the edge off the way they normally would have.
Nic tossed the dish towel on the counter then faced him. “I meant what I said earlier about giving you space.”
Elam sighed. “Are you about to make the couch offer again?”
Nic lowered his gaze as he brushed at imaginary crumbs on the wood surface next to the sink. “I don’t want to push you. Crowd you or whatever.”
Elam approached him then wrapped his arms around his waist. “I know. And I appreciate how sensitive you’re being about everything.”
Elam bit his lip to keep from smiling at the flush that had bloomed on Nic’s cheeks. He’d pegged him as the strong, silent type from the beginning, but the little blushes whenever the conversation snuck into emotional territory warmed Elam toward Nic even more.
Nic tugged him closer. “I’ll do my best when it comes to stuff like that. Call me on it if you’re not hearing what you need to hear from me.”
“I will.” Elam rested his head on Nic’s chest. “Thank you.”
After building the fire back up to heat the cabin some more before they went to bed, they relaxed on the couch together with one of Nic’s legs hooked over one of Elam’s, their heads resting against each other’s. More stories were shared about the different packs and how the Alliance worked. As Nic recounted their earlier history, Elam’s suspicion that there had been a story behind why Nic’s family had left Russia were revealed. Although werewolf persecution never would’ve made it onto his list of possible explanations, Nic’s story made sense.
“That’s intense.” Elam idly ran his thumb over Nic’s knee. “It’s funny. My grandmother on my mom’s side was Russian. When I was little, she’d tell me all these werewolf stories that she’d grown up with.” Elam angled his body to look Nic in the eyes. “Not gonna lie. They scared me pretty bad. My mom used to get so mad at her because I’d have nightmares.”
Nic caressed his cheek. “I’d never hurt you, baby.”
Elam smiled. “You said that before. It’s nice. Both the endearment and the promise.” He cleared his throat. “And anyway, if I became a werewolf, I’d never have to worry about it, would I?”
Before he’d had the chance to take another breath, Nic had tugged him onto his lap, their limbs tangling as they struggled to get closer, their lips meeting in a fury as Nic kissed him with a ravenous hunger. The inner warmth he felt whenever Nic aroused him surged, the sensation something he’d never experienced with any other lover. The heat seemed particularly strong, though, and the urge to present his ass to Nic, to beg him for a good, hard fuck—was becoming harder to resist.
Is it because he’s my mate? The more Nic revealed to him, the more he wondered if allowing Nic to turn him was the only option that would give him the love and happiness he’d hoped to share with Andy. Maybe he’d subconsciously chosen to come to this part of Alaska because Nic’s wolf was calling to him. My Russian ancestry. Maybe Nic’s wolf was calling to his ancient wolf that was buried so deep inside him, that only Nic could set it free.
Elam grabbed Nic’s shoulders and broke the kiss, gasping for air.
“Turn me, Nic. Please. I want you to.”
Nic frowned, blinking several times as he stared down at him. “You’re not thinking straight, Elam. We’re on a full moon and the pull is at its strongest.”
Despite his words of caution, Nic ground his steeled length against Elam’s hard cock and they both groaned in unison.
Elam clutched the short white strands of Nic’s hair and thrust back. “Maybe. But listen to me. I believe you, believe in this. Something just clicked for me and I know this is the right thing to do.”
He pulled Nic down to crush their mouths together again, his dick throbbing—and to his surprise—his passage too, the heat inside him seeming to center there and making him crazy with want. Almost like I’ve already been slicked up, prepped.
Nic growled against his lips. “On your belly.”
Before Elam could respond, Nic had effortlessly flipped him then yanked at his sweats while Elam pushed back his ass, unashamed in his desire. The compulsion to be penetrated grew to the point where it erased everything else. Nothing mattered except Nic filling him with his seed.
“Now, Nic. Give it to me now.”
In his lust-addled daze, he barely registered Nic tugging him on his knees, spitting on his hole and fingering his passage. The penetration did nothing to ease his desperation, instead, it seemed to make his inner ache worse. Tears squeezed from the corners of his eyes.
“Please, Nic. I need you inside.”
Elam gasped as Nic’s cockhead breached him, the sting of being entered without much prep dissipating almost immediately. Nic punched the rest of the way in and he only had a second to contemplate why it had been so easy before Nic picked up a rapid pace of fucking him.
Yes.
Nic cocooned him with his frame, holding him around the waist as he rammed him, grunting and growling against his ear with each punishing thrust. Sweat built between them as their rutting narrowed Elam’s world down to their physical bond, to the maddening inner heat that was slowly beginning to subside, that was drifting into an unnamable pleasure. Nic entwined his fingers with Elam’s, bringing their joined hands above Elam’s head as he tightened his arm around Elam’s middle, the force of his lovemaking never abating.
Right as Nic clamped his lips on the crook of Elam’s shoulder, he froze, pumping his cum into Elam then biting down hard. Elam screamed his shock, his mind a jumble of bizarre images, his perceptions disrupted by a chaos of sensations slamming into him all at once. Instead of feeling the heat of Nic’s seed inside his passage, a soothing coolness seemed to fill his core. The sharp pain from Nic’s bite made his muscles throb in a pleasurable agony and he cried out the moment Nic grasped his cock, spilling his own cum over Nic’s fingers.
“Oh, fuck. What’s happening?”
Elam fought against a rising panic as he realized the base of Nic’s cock had swelled, hardening rather than softening. Nic’s rigid length had spread Elam’s rim more, locking him in place, holding them together. Elam sighed as he accepted the strange occurrence, refusing to analyze the deep satisfaction of being joined with Nic in such a way. He’d been filled by his mate. He held Nic’s seed inside him and he was powerless beneath his lover. They were one in that moment.
Nic lapped at the wound on his neck and the throbbing in his muscles dwindled to a dull ache. The pain from the actual bite was almost gone and Elam reveled in being taken by his mate, his Alpha. That’s the word I couldn’t find earlier.
Nic stopped cleaning the bite and nuzzled Elam’s neck. “My wolf is knotting you, baby. Never done it before, but it must be because you’re my true mate. And your taste, your blood.” Nic dragged his tongue up Elam’s neck again. “So sweet.”
Knotting. He’d always thought it was a breeding thing with wolves, but it was likely that all shifter men had the ability, regardless of orientation.
Elam shivered as Nic’s mouth moved over his back then across his shoulders, kissing, nibbling and licking his way along Elam’s flesh.
“S’good, Nic.” Elam sucked in a deep breath. “Alpha.” Elam’s forehead was pressed to the couch cushion, so he was unable to see Nic’s expression. However, Nic had tensed and was no longer kissing him.
“Do you understand what you’re saying to me?”
Nic had gone back to nipping at his skin, his swollen cock jerking inside his body on occasion. Elam groaned, squirming beneath Nic, barely able to move from how securely they were attached, along with the comforting weight of Nic’s frame covering him.
“I think so. At least I’m understanding what you are to me. That your spirit has been calling to me ever since you carried me out of the snow.”
“How do you feel otherwise? Are you in pain? My knot probably won’t subside for a few more minutes, though. My first time. Sorry.”
Elam was glad that Nic couldn’t see his blush. “Don’t be. I love it. And other than this overall achy feeling, I feel great.”
Nic let out a long breath that Elam took as being one of relief. “Your bite looks fine too. It’s almost healed over.”
Unlike Nic, Elam’s dick had already gone soft, but Nic still held his hand pressed over it, as if claiming possession of his manhood. Elam smiled to himself. Was this what he’d wanted when he was with Andy? To be claimed, owned? During the three years they’d lived together, Elam had thought they were building toward a lasting relationship. But even if he left out the infidelity, Andy had never been as invested emotionally, something that had been clear to him when they’d broken up and was even more so now that he was with Nic. Elam was certain Andy would never view him as being worth the time and energy it would take to give him the attention that Nic did.
“Oh…” Elam bit his lip as Nic’s knot began to recede, surprised by how sad it made him. It doesn’t matter. He’s your mate now. They had their whole lives ahead of them.
A harsh jab of pain shot through Elam’s gut and he clenched his fists against the agony. Something’s wrong. As soon as Nic pulled free, Elam curled into a ball, a keening cry torn from his throat as his muscles tightened then stretched as if he were being ripped apart from the inside. Nic’s frantic yells cut through the shroud of pain and he tried to lock onto the meaning of his words.
“…shifting. Don’t fight it Elam, you have to let your body do its job. Let your wolf free!”
I’m dying. Oh my God, I made a horrible mistake and I’m dying.
In a whoosh the agony stopped, and he realized he’d tumbled to the floor. He glanced up, but his vision wasn’t the same, it was distorted, yet sharper at the same time. Every scent in the cabin assaulted his senses, but the one that rose above the rest, the one that called to him, was Nic’s. He whipped his head around, his neck feeling thicker, heavier and…
Fur!
He tried to call out to his mate but the only sound he could manage was a series of yips and barks. The white wolf from earlier appeared in his field of vision and his first instinct was to leap on him, nuzzle him, then roll over and show his belly.
Alpha. Mate.
He tried to express more, but only single words would come to him.
Scent. Need.
His Alpha jumped on the latch to the cabin door and as it opened, he glanced over his shoulder, yipping at Elam and somehow, he knew he was meant to follow, to go outside. The white wolf took off, jumping off the porch and landing in the snow with Elam close behind. Elam’s landing wasn’t nearly as graceful as he collapsed in the deep drift, the mechanics of using four limbs instead of two still rather awkward.
His Alpha—Nic, his name is Nic—danced around him, nudging him with his snout in encouragement so he wouldn’t give up. He marveled that he wasn’t cold, that he was so comfortable.
Move. Run. Run!
His Alpha charged away and after he stumbled a few times—his heart racing in panic that he’d lose sight of Nic—he finally got his legs coordinated enough that he could move.
Can’t keep up.
He could scent his mate but could no longer see him.
Too far ahead!
His mind seemed to expand, and his human side bled through so he could understand and articulate his thoughts better. His mate’s scent grew in power, then he spotted Nic racing toward him. Nic nudged him some more with his snout, rolling him until they tousled together in the powdery snow. Elam sneezed as some of the flakes made their way into his nose, but instead of laughing, a snorting whimpering sound came out. Finally, he was on his paws again and a rush of energy filled him. This time, when his Alpha took off running, he was able to charge after him.
After a joyous—yet exhausting—romp in the snow, Elam was back in Nic’s cabin and lay on the rug panting with his limbs like jelly. A sudden chill assailed him as his body went from cozy and warm in his fur to naked and wet in his skin.
Where’s my shirt? It was all he’d had on when he’d begun to shift. Holy fuck. I was a wolf. I was a real, live wolf!
“Hey, baby.” Nic hovered over him, caressing his hair back from his forehead. “Are you all right?”
“A bit achy, weak, but overall I’m okay.” He grinned. “That was amazing.”
Nic let out a long sigh. “Thank the gods. I was so worried. I swear I had no idea it was going to happen that fast. We don’t have any recent turnings to draw from.”
“Damn.” Elam gulped. “I don’t know whether to feel special or terrified.”
Nic placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Special. Always special. When I take you to meet the pack, I’ll introduce you to Asha, our wolf spirit guide and healer for the Alliance. She can help answer any questions about being a shifter that I can’t. If nothing else, know that she’s there in case you need reassurance.”
Elam pushed up from the floor with Nic helping him until he’d managed to wobble to the couch. Nic grabbed the quilt he kept over the back of the sofa then wrapped it around them both. Elam spotted his T-shirt crumpled by the bedroom door.
“I don’t remember taking it off.” He jerked his chin in the direction of his discarded tee.
Nic chuckled. “I tugged it off you as quickly as I could. I didn’t want it to strangle you as your neck thickened.”
Elam relaxed against Nic, not nearly as freaked out as he thought he should be. “So, it’s not like the movies when the clothes explode off the human as he turns into a werewolf?”
“No.” Nic snorted. “We actually have to be careful about that. Not that we haven’t ripped apart many garments, but we usually have to shift right back to finish the job, and you saw for yourself how draining that can be if we do it in quick succession.”
“Huh. That must be why I feel so wrecked right now.”
“I doubt it.” Nic pulled him onto his lap, something he’d never done with another guy before, but had come to love the hell out of doing with Nic. “It’s more likely because we were out chasing each other around for over an hour.”
“We were?”
“Yeah.” Nic chuckled. “I think you’re worn out as a combination of all the romping in the snow in addition to this being your first shift.”
Elam melted against Nic’s body as he pondered the incredible experience he’d just had. And the implications it will have on my life.
“Does it get easier? The shifts?”
“That I think I can answer.” Nic had murmured it against his temple. “We usually have our first shift at puberty and it’s rather unsettling at first. My advantage over you is that I grew up with the concept, so I wasn’t scared. I knew what to expect. And only the initial shift is painful. As you become accustomed to them and know not to fight the change, it gets to the point where it’s no big deal. Like breathing.” Nic gave him a light squeeze. “I apologize again that I didn’t get a chance to prepare you better.”
“I’m okay, I promise. I know you would’ve warned me had you known.”
They snuggled in silence, Elam content to be held in Nic’s arms as he warmed back up. But after a while the heat became almost too much. He wriggled in Nic’s lap.
“Hey. What’s wrong?” Nic angled around to face him, his expression one of concern.
“I…I’m not sure. Do you think I’m going to shift again?” His gut clenched. “Aren’t I supposed to be in control of that?” Spontaneously shifting seemed like a very bad idea.
Nic furrowed his brow. “Yeah, of course. The first shift, no. But after that…” Nic framed his face with his palms. “You’re getting flushed. Is it like before? Are you in pain?”
Elam squirmed again. “Not pain. Need. It’s how it’s been since we met, but the past day or so has been excruciating.” He cleared his throat, the embarrassment making him blush, but he had to talk about the strangeness of what was happening to him. “I want you inside me, to fuck me, like all the time. There’s this driving heat in my…” He cleared his throat. “…body that won’t let go. When you claimed me, my God. I thought I was going to go mad if you didn’t fuck me into oblivion that instant. I didn’t even care if you prepped me or if…” Elam’s eyes widened. “Oh no. Protection. We didn’t use any protection.”
“That’s okay, baby. I haven’t been with anyone in years.”
Elam snorted. “Yeah, but Andy’s slept with half the state of Washington. I got myself tested after we broke up, but still. I’ll be devastated if I gave you anything.”
A deep growl emanated from Nic, his lips pulled back in a sneer. “He’d better pray I never run into him.”
Elam placed his palm on Nic’s chest. “Hey. He did me a favor, okay? I’m a loyal guy, but that did it for me. And if I hadn’t left him, I might never have come here.”
The tension in Nic’s body—as if he’d been about to spring from the couch and tear someone to pieces—eased. “I’ll bear that in mind. I’d still recommend he never set foot in the state of Alaska, however. Just sayin’.” Nic caressed Elam’s cheek. “But you can’t give me anything, I swear. Human viruses don’t affect shifters.”
Elam almost collapsed against him in relief. “That still doesn’t excuse my behavior.”
Nic quirked once side of his mouth. “We were both participants. I was out of my mind to get inside you too.” Nic frowned. “But this heat—in your ass I take it?”
Elam rolled his eyes. He loved how to the point Nic was, but still… “Yeah. Do you think it’s a bad sign?”
A flicker of confusion crossed Nic’s features. “No, I doubt it. It’s just that it reminds me of when an omega female goes into heat—a signal that she’s ready to get pregnant. Not only that, but you were slick inside already. And then I knotted you…”
Elam smirked. “Come on. Be serious.”
Nic shrugged then gave a small laugh. “Yeah, ridiculous, right? Obviously, I’ve never experienced sex with my fated mate before, so I’m sure that’s all it is.” Nic’s eyes darkened as he considered him, then he gave his neck a sniff before clutching a handful of Elam’s hair, gripping it tightly. “But I can smell it on you. Smell your heat.”
And I can feel it. “I need you again. Please.”
A low growl rumbled in Nic’s chest. “No begging necessary.”
Nic pushed him off his lap, but instead of rolling him onto his belly, he pressed him against the cushions on his back. Nic positioned himself between Elam’s legs then grabbed his ankles and placed them on his shoulders.
“I want to see you when you come, look into your eyes when you scream my name as I fill you with my seed.”
When Nic slammed into him in one move, Elam decided he liked that is was so easy to penetrate him without much prep. He’d barely had the chance to ponder the drastic changes to his body from when the rapid thrust of Nic’s beautiful thick cock pulled the cries from him as Nic had predicted it would.