Caleb

wish Damon hadn't followed me out of the suite. I hear his thundering footsteps behind me before he grabs my shoulder and pulls me around to face him.

"Leave me alone," I tell him, my fists tight and ready to lash out.

"You can't just leave every time the going gets tough, Caleb."

"Watch me," I say roughly as a couple of college guys pass us.

"You want out of the program? You want to go to jail?"

"Is that a threat?"

"Don't test me, Caleb. And give me a damn break. I've got to deal with Trish and Lenny. That alone could give a guy a coronary.

I let out a breath and look away from him. "Give me a damn break, man. I just want to be alone."

"Being alone isn't good."

"It is for me." It's better than watching Matt and Maggie start a relationship right in front of my eyes. The way he ran after her when she fled from the lounge made me sick. I don't blame the guy ... but I sure as hell don't need to see it. "I'm stuck here, I get it. I don't have a choice. But can you give me a night off from being around everyone? One night, Damon. It won't kill you ... or me." I let out a breath and say quietly, "Please."

My transition counselor, the guy who's always been a hardass and whose job was to force me on the straight and narrow, steps back. "Fine."

I'm shocked. Maybe I didn't hear right. "What does that mean?"

"It means I'll give you a pass ... for tonight; a pass to be alone and figure things out. I'm taking the rest of the group to dinner with a local youth group and then to a movie."

A night without having to be stoic and pretend I'm a rock is a fucking miracle. A night without having to share my secrets makes me feel like a free man. "Thanks," I say.

"No problem. But tomorrow I expect you to put a damn smile on that mug of yours and suck it up. Got it?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I got it."

Feeling like the noose is loosened, I follow Damon back to the suite. Maybe I should apologize to Maggie for this morning. I knew I'd hurt her with the gazebo comment. We'd made out like crazy that night. Nobody knew about our secret time together except maybe old Mrs. Reynolds, who'd gone to bed after dinner. I think she knew Maggie and I were getting it on, and I've got a feeling she didn't care. Hell, maybe in a way it helped us get over all the shit we'd been going through.

Problem is, the night in the gazebo ended with me trying to ease Maggie's skirt up so I could see her scars. Maggie pushed my hand away. She didn't trust me. The night kind of went downhill from there.

In the suite, Erin and Trish are in the lounge area. I peek into the girls' room. Having Maggie mad at me isn't my intention.

Maggie is lying on one of the beds. Matt is sitting on the bed next to her. They're obviously in an intimate conversation, because they're alone and whispering. Oh, hell.

I retreat and head back to the guys' room, glad they didn't catch me watching them. Lenny is sitting on his bed, wearing nothing but his skimpy briefs. He's holding a personal mini-fan up to his chest.

"You do know the girls can walk in here at any second, don't you?"

The door wasn't closed or locked. Trish and Erin are sitting right outside the door, and if they crane their necks they'd probably have a good view of Lenny practically naked.

"I don't give a shit, Caleb. I'm fucking hot as hell." He proceeds to lift up the band of his briefs and faces the mini-fan toward his dick. "My poor ball sacks are sweatin' so bad I swear I won't be able to have kids. My boys are being cooked to death in there."

"Might be a good thing. I'm not sure you should be allowed to procreate anyway," I murmur as I turn away. I'm glad Damon isn't making me go to dinner with the group, 'cause getting a glimpse of Lenny fanning his sweaty nuts made me lose my appetite.

Seeing Maggie and Matt talking on her bed hasn't helped my appetite or mood, either.

"Just an FYI," Lenny says, his face still red from the nasty sunburn. "I've got a shitload of condoms in my duffle. Front pocket."

"For what?"

"Listen, if you don't know what condoms are for I'm not gonna teach you."

"I know what they're for, shithead. I just highly doubt you're getting any ass on this trip."

"Watch me," Lenny says. "My boy gets action all the time."

"Yeah, I bet your right hand is tired from all that action," I mumble as I walk to the bathroom.

"I'm a leftie!" Lenny calls after me. I try not to wince from thinking about it.

I take a quick shower to cool off, then change into jeans and a T-shirt. I don't have a chance to explain or apologize to Maggie, because she's too busy talking with Matt. Thing is, they deserve each other. Matt's a decent guy. I can't blame him for going for her. Maggie might not be the girl who stands out in a crowd or the one with a model's body, but once you get to know her, I mean really know her, you just see her ... a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve and is so genuine you're afraid every word out of your mouth will come out wrong. She's someone you don't have to worry will cheat on you, like my ex Kendra did. Maggie is-

I've got to stop thinking about her. It's like I'm torturing myself for no reason except to piss myself off.

After the group leaves for dinner and whatever additional festivities Damon has planned, I need some air. The suite is too hot even with the windows wide open.

I walk through the tree-lined Freeman University campus, trying not to think about how I got here and what I'll be doing after this program is finished. I've got nothing to look forward to.

I walk past a bunch of guys playing football on the quad. The quarterback has no aim and the ball flies right in my direction.

I catch it.

"Nice catch," one guy says. "We could use another receiver. Wanna play?"

"Sure," I say, shrugging.

I join one of the teams and play with them until it's too dark to see the ball and one of the guys tells the others they're late for their own frat party.

"What's your name?" the quarterback asks me as we walk off their makeshift field.

"Caleb."

"I'm David. Listen, Caleb. My buddies and I are having a little get-together at our frat house. Come with us."

"Yeah. Come on," one of the other guys says as he tosses the football in the air. "It's the least we could do for having you help us kick Garrett's ass on the field today."

"That was suh-weet!" the quarterback agrees, and they give each other an enthusiastic high-five.

I follow the guys two blocks until we reach their fraternity house. It's impressive-a massive three-story house with four white columns in front. It looks like a damn mansion. A bunch of girls and guys are hanging on the front porch. Music blares from inside.

As soon as I walk in with David and the other guys, I realize their little party isn't a little party. It's a big one, and it's in full swing.

Before I know it, David shoves a red plastic cup in my hand. "So, Caleb, you a freshman? Haven't seen you around FU before."

"I'm not really a student," I say, then take a sip of whatever's in the cup. Beer. Cold beer. I'm sure Damon had some rule about drinking, but the alcohol tastes so good going down my throat that I'm not about to toss it. The fact that I know the more I drink the more I'll stop thinking about Maggie and Matt sitting on her bed this afternoon deep in conversation is a bonus. "I'm staying in the dorms for a stupid program I got stuck on."

"I hate stupid programs," David says.

"Hey, Davie," says a blonde girl with a short skirt and low-cut top. She finishes off the beer in her plastic cup, and I get the distinct feeling she started partying way before us. "Who's your hot friend?"

David drapes his arm on the girl's shoulders. "Caleb, this is Brandi. She's one of our frat house neighbors and our resident babe. Brandi, show my man Caleb here a good time." He excuses himself with a wink to me.

The girl looks me up and down, then flashes me a wide smile with a peek of tongue showing.

"Wanna dance?" she asks.

I finish what's left in my cup. "Sure."

She takes my hand and leads me to a crowded room off to the side. There's a keg and we both fill up our cups. Cup in hand, she starts moving her sexy body to the music. I hastily gulp my beer down and walk toward her. Our bodies grind together with the beat of the music, and one thought goes through my mind: tonight I need this girl.