Maggie

here's Caleb?" I ask Damon as we walk to the pizza place a few blocks away from the campus. He said a high school youth group is meeting us there, so their members can talk to us and hear our stories.

"He's gonna stay in tonight," Damon says. "I think he needs time to cool off and think about why he's here."

I sigh, knowing the truth of it all. "He doesn't want to be a part of this group."

"Yeah, well, he needs to be here nonetheless," Damon says as his cell rings. "He just needs to get a grip on his emotions."

As Damon takes the call, Matt is at my side. "You okay?" he asks.

I nod. "I'm kind of glad Caleb isn't coming with us."

"Me too."

I flash Matt a questioning look. "Why?"

"'Cause you seem upset when he's around." He shrugs sheepishly. "I don't like seeing you upset."

I put my arm around Matt and smile up at him. "Thanks for being a good friend," I say, leaning into his chest as we follow the others.

He puts his arm around me. "No prob."

It's nice knowing I have Matt here. During physical therapy we'd talk a bit, and complain about Robert, our physical therapist. Robert loves to push his patients to the limit whether they like it or not.

"Caleb's not such a bad guy," I tell him.

"I know," Matt says. "Caleb's cool. All of us have screwed-up shit we have to work out. Caleb just seems to have sunk deeper than we have."

"You seem to be handling your problems better than most of us on this trip," I tell him.

"I fake it. Truth is, I'm glad I'm here, but I've got to admit that some of those kids last night looked at me like I was a complete moron." He pauses, then adds, "Then again, I was a complete moron, but it's like going through it all over again. I wonder if I'll ever get used to the looks and the stares."

"I won't," I admit to him. "At first I was super selfconscious whenever I'd walk into a room ... I noticed all eyes on me. I still get the pity stares, which might be worse than your moron stares."

"Come on, Maggie. We both have obvious disabilities, unlike the rest on this trip. And we're both trying to get over our past relationships."

Matt stops and lets the others go ahead of us. "Can you imagine us as a couple?" he asks me.

I'm not sure if he's wondering how people would react to seeing a limping girl and one-armed boy together, or if he really is wondering if I could imagine dating him.

I've never thought about it before.

Matt's sweet.

He's cute.

He's a good guy.

But ...

"That was rhetorical question, wasn't it?" I ask.

He brushes a stray hair from my face and tucks it behind my ear. "Maybe. Then again, maybe not."

He leans down and I know he's going to kiss me. I should do it, if for no other reason than to give Matt a chance and prove to myself that I'm open to being with someone besides Caleb.

His lips meet mine and he wraps his arm around me. It's not passionate and hot like Caleb's kisses, but it's nice and safe and warm and ...

I pull away. "I can't."

Matt looks sad. "Maybe we're not ready to move on after all."

My cell phone in my purse starts ringing. I don't know if Matt is right or wrong. I like Matt ... I've always liked Matt. He's a great guy that any girl should be proud to date.

So why couldn't I kiss Matt without thinking about Caleb?

My phone rings again and I fish it out of my purse. It's probably my mom, since I'd left a message for her after I charged my phone in the suite. But when I look at the Caller ID, I feel a jolt of surprise. It's Leah Becker, Caleb's sister. We stopped being friends after the accident, but after Caleb left Paradise, we started talking again. Leah's emotions run high, and they're right on the surface. She's emotionally fragile and no longer the best friend I once knew. I hope she'll snap out of it at some point.

"Hey, Leah. I'm glad you called." I watch as Matt joins the rest of the group, giving me privacy.

"Hey, Maggie," Leah says softly. She's still got a lot of issues regarding the accident, and even though I've forgiven her, she hasn't actually forgiven herself. "How's the trip?"

"Good. We've only talked to one group so far, but it was okay. Right now we're staying at the dorms at Freeman University, right by the Wisconsin border. What have you been doing?"

Silence. Leah doesn't talk as much as she used to, so I pretty much hold up our conversations now. It's okay. I know it's part of her own healing process.

"Not much," she finally says. "Just hanging around, mostly."

That's pretty much all there is to do in Paradise in the summer. Some people take vacations, but most people stay in Paradise and never leave. I know two people who left Paradise-my father and Caleb.

That thought freezes me in my tracks, and I just stand on the sidewalk as the rest of the groups walks ahead of me. I stare blindly after them while the reality hits me: I get left behind by the men in my life who are supposed to love me.

I blink, and focus on the restaurant a half a block away. Everyone is out front, gesturing for me to get off the phone. I can't hang up with Leah without telling her, "Caleb's here."

"W-w-what do you mean?" she asks nervously.

"He's on the trip."

"With you?"

"Yeah."

"Why? How? Where has he been? Is he okay?" she asks, panic laced in her voice. "Okay, that's so weird. I really called you because I wanted to talk about Caleb and I didn't know who else to call besides you. How did you end up on the same trip as my brother?

"I don't know how it happened, exactly. I think he's been living in Chicago since he left town. He's changed, though. He's not the same." I don't tell her my goal is to get Caleb back to Paradise to work things out. Leah needs him. His family needs him. I thought I needed him, but now we're too different. I can't be emotionally involved with someone who resents the world and wants to push everyone away.

I hear hesitation in Leah's voice as she says, "I always used to think an ESP thing between twins was something people made up. But I couldn't sleep the past few nights, Maggie. I swear Caleb is in trouble, or really unhappy. I feel his pain as if it's my own. That's stupid, isn't it?"

"No, it's not stupid," I tell her. I believe anything is possible. It's probably because I'm an over-emotional person. It's one of my flaws.

"Do me a favor, will you?"

"What is it?" I ask.

"Take care of him, Maggie. Promise me you'll watch out for my brother," she says almost desperately.

Watch out for him? Caleb is strong enough, if not emotionally than definitely physically, to take care of himself.

"Don't worry, Leah," I tell her. I swallow a lump in my throat and temporarily push away my newfound resolve to let go of Caleb once and for all. "I'll make sure he stays out of trouble."