“Are you sure?” Gribbins stood in the doorway of the kitchen with his arms crossed, his eyes going from mine to Lexie.

“I’m positive,” she nodded.

“This isn’t something Gavin here has coerced you into saying?”

“No.”

“Oh, come on!” I tossed my hands in the air.

“I have to ask. Because if it is something you’ve put into her head, we can’t use it. It could ruin the entire investigation, and end Blair’s life.”

“How do we know she isn’t already dead?” I spat.

“If she was, there’d be a body, Gavin. You know that.” He turned his attention back to Lexie. “Now you are one hundred percent sure that Joel was the man who knocked you out that night?”

“It was his voice, there’s no doubt about it in my mind.”

“Okay, I’ll make the call for an arrest warrant.” Gribbins stepped into the living room with his cell phone in hand.

I couldn’t believe a break in the case was finally happening. I scrubbed my hands up and down my face.

“She’ll be okay, I have a feeling.” Lexie was sitting at the bar with one arm resting on the counter and the other on the back of the chair watching me.

“I hope you’re right.” I walked over to the window and stared out, watching the people across the street on a park bench. We’d set up a safe house, more like a safe apartment, a few miles out of town to keep Lexie in until things were said and done.

The night at the casino when Mason, one of the agents working the op, had grabbed her in the parking lot, she’d refused to talk to anyone except me. She wasn’t trying to run away from us, just the casino. She’d came face to face with Joel shortly before we had, and as soon as Lexie heard his voice she knew it was him that had been in the room the night Blair went missing. So, she got out of there as quickly as possible. Joel wouldn’t have snatched her up in front of the other workers, but if she hadn’t run, he most likely would’ve found a way to make it so she couldn’t leave. With Lexie providing us the information we needed to place him at the scene as a potential kidnapper, we could drag him into custody for questioning on a seventy-two hour hold even if the arrest warrant wasn’t permitted. I really hoped the arrest warrant would be granted.

“It’s time to roll.” I spun around and found Gribbins collecting his keys and hat from the table. “The arrest wanted was granted.”

“What about Lexie?”

“Two of the outside agents are coming inside, and replacements for them are on the way.”

“Go! I’ll be fine,” she chimed in.

I nodded and quickly followed Gribbins out the door.

Joel was in our crosshairs, and we were about to pull the trigger.

* * *

Oscar met us at one of the back entrances to the casino. We’d given him the courtesy of not storming the front of the place and drawing mass amounts of attention. Instead we were going in plain clothed and armed.

“Thank you for going about this in a discreet manner.” Oscar shook Gribbins' hand and then mine.

“We don’t want to ruin your business; we just want the murders to stop,” Gribbins' voice was firm.

“He’s completely unaware any of this is going down.”

“Where is Joel currently?” I spoke up.

“In the money room.”

I gave him a nod and began to enter the building but Gribbins stopped me.

“You know if Joel gets released before we have Blair and he knows that both of us are FBI, her chance of survival is even lower than it already is, right?”

Like a balloon deflating, I let out a gust of air, “The thought honestly hadn’t crossed my mind. I’d been so hell bent on being the person to slap those cuffs on him that I hadn’t taken into account what if he’s released.” I gripped my hair with my hands in frustration.

“I think both of us are too close to this. I shouldn’t be here just as much as you shouldn’t. There’s a lot riding on taking Joel into custody. You know that. So why don’t we take the backburner and wait in the vehicle. He won’t see our faces until we have him pinned down so tightly that there’s no way he’ll walk a free man from FBI custody.”

My head was screaming at me to run full throttle into that building and take Joel down myself, while my heart was telling me to listen to Gribbins. That giving Blair a higher percentage rate of survival was more important that slapping that smug look off of Joel’s face after I slapped cuffs on him. Like Gribbins said, once we had him pinned down so tightly he wasn’t leaving FBI custody, I could then let him know he’d fucked with the wrong group people that night.

“Okay.” I turned and went directly for the black SUV parked not far from the back entrance where everyone was waiting for the signal to roll inside.

As I reached the vehicle I pulled my wallet from my back pocket and slipped into the passenger seat. I laid my holstered gun on the dashboard along with my badge before I flipped my wallet open and retrieved a small photograph from one of the slots inside. It was a picture of Blair laughing hysterically while I stared at her in awe during one of those cheesy photo sessions she wanted us to do as a couple. She hated the look on her face in that picture, but I loved it. It showcased just how lighthearted and beautiful she truly was. I had to see her face again, hear her laugh, and feel her body against mine. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if I couldn’t.

“You’ve got to come home, Blair,” I whispered just before the driver’s door opened and Gribbins climbed inside.

“What are you looking at there?”

I handed the photo to him.

We sat in silence as he looked the image over. A small grin making an appearance before he handed it back to me, “I remember the day I realized the two of you were dating.” He chuckled. “You both tried so hard to keep it professional. The day Blair was going undercover as a prostitute in hopes of taking down that scumbag, Melvin Alcorn, for sex trafficking, I knew she meant more to you than just your work partner. She was gung-ho to dive in head first, while you were silently freaking out because she might’ve had to show more skin or even do certain things to prove she was a prostitute so Melvin’s goons would bring her in as one of the new girls. But what really let me know how deep you two were, was when things got a little rocky and Melvin had gone off the deep end by holding a gun to her head. He was paranoid as all get out, but I’ll never forget the look in your eyes when you broke through that door and took him down with one single shot. She leapt into your arms and you uttered how much you loved her. Which you thought was quietly when it wasn’t.” Gribbins looked at me out of the corner of his eye, a large smile across his face. “I had to pull all kinds of strings to keep the two of you together, but I knew it was for the best. That no matter what, you’d have each other’s back through thick and thin.” He turned in his seat to face me. “I’m sorry you’re going through this on two different levels, Gavin. The thought of potentially losing your work partner is bad enough, but your life partner…that’s an entirely different ball game, my friend. I’ll do everything in my power to get Blair back, just like I know you will.”

A tight-lipped nod was all I could muster up, afraid if I’d let my emotions get the best of me I’d never be able to gather myself. I diverted my attention from Gribbins to the back entrance and almost jumped from the vehicle when I saw a group of our guys coming out. My hand wrapped around the door handle as my heart raced within my chest. What felt like a century was only mere seconds before an agent walked out of those two glass doors with Joel handcuffed beside him.

“Don’t open that door,” Gribbins warned.

I removed my hand from the door handle and sat back in the seat. Joel passed our vehicle with that same menacing smirk on his face as the day we were collecting my winnings. I knew he couldn’t see in the windshield from the dark tint, but it was as if he knew I was there. His eyes connected with mine as two agents drug him past us. The urge to rip my door open and beat him to a bloody pulp was a hard one to fight off, but somehow, I managed.

“Where are they taking him?”

“Our field office.” Gribbins started the vehicle in preparation to follow the others.

“Good.”

“Don’t jump the gun. You know you can’t step a foot into any room he’s in until we’ve got him hook, line, and sinker.”

“I know,” I gritted my teeth and let out a heavy breath.

A tiny fraction of ease settled into my mind at the thought of being one step closer to finding Blair. I just hoped it wasn’t too late by then.

* * *

“It’s been twelve hours and he’s yet to utter a word.” I stood in Gribbins' office full of frustration. “Who doesn’t even ask for a lawyer?”

“Someone like him.” Gribbins removed his reading glasses and rubbed his eyes.

“Let me go in there.”

“Absolutely not.”

I slammed my hands down on his desk, “Dammit, Gribbins.”

“You know,” He stood from his seated position behind his desk. “I’m getting real tired of you slamming your hands on my desk and acting as if I’m the bad guy here. I’m trying my damndest to keep this situation as smooth as possible without something major going wrong. I get that Blair is out there and that piece of shit in the interrogation room is our only hope of saving her. But what I don’t get is why you think charging in there and blowing your cover to let that bastard know you know what he’s done is going to help? You were trained better than this, and if you don’t get your head out of your ass I will bench you. It’s the last thing I want to do, but I’ll do it, so help me God.”

I stormed out of Gribbins' office as he called after me. Being on the brink of losing my shit wasn’t a feeling I was used to. Once I reached the end of the hall I shoved through the double glass doors and stopped at the sitting area that overlooked the floor below. My hands gripped the metal railing so hard my knuckles turned white. I needed one shot at Joel, but it was just out of reach. If they could get him to admit to the tiniest fraction of a crime it would mean the ball was in our court and Gribbins and I could take the reins. There had to be something we could do to provoke him.

“Kelley, I think you need to go home and get your head on straight.” Gribbins stopped beside my hunched over self. I knew he meant business at the use of my last name, so without argument I nodded in agreement and he placed a hand on my back. “I know it’s hard, but you being a ticking time bomb isn’t helping matters. Go home, let off a little steam, and come back tomorrow with a better mindset. We need you focused…Blair needs you focused.”

“Okay, I’ll be back tomorrow.” I stood and looked Gribbins in the eyes.

He extended his hand and frowned, “Gun and badge until then.”

“What?”

“Don’t argue, just hand them over.”

I knew what he was doing was for the best, but I hated that he was doing it. I handed them over to Gribbins and left without another word. My life was in a tailspin, spiraling downward. I needed to get my shit together…and fast.

The drive home was a silent one. I hadn’t bothered to even turn the radio on. It wasn’t like our place was too far from the office, but the thought of walking back in there weighed heavy on my mind. Every time I came home to our empty house, Blair’s absence hit me like a punch in the gut. The sound of the key sliding into the lock and clicking it unlocked seemed magnified, but I swallowed my nerves and pushed the door open. Silence hung in the air as I stepped inside and closed the door behind me. Everything just as we left it, not exactly clean but not exactly a mess either. I kicked my boots off and padded into the living room, dropping my keys and wallet in the bowl on the coffee table like usual. But this time I didn’t sit down and beg Blair to grab me a beer from the fridge. I bypassed the couch altogether and went directly to our bedroom. The light sprang to life as I flipped the switch on the wall just inside the door. I’d been sleeping on the couch, because I couldn’t stand the thought of being in our bed alone, so the bed was still made like Blair always did first thing in the morning. At least she’d make it after she managed to get me to keep my hands off of her so we could get out of the bed. Sometimes that was late into the afternoon.

God, I missed her.

I sat on the edge of the bed and cradled my head in my hands. This had to be a nightmare that I was going to wake up from at any moment and find her tucked into my side sleeping soundly. I knew better than to believe that. My reality was a cruel one. We’d each written a letter to the other if something happened to us. But we weren’t allowed to read them unless we were presumed dead. I wanted so badly to pull that letter from the firebox in the closet and read the words she’d written to me, but I knew that would be more heartache than I could handle. It would be giving up hope that she was still alive, and I couldn’t do that. I wouldn’t do that.

I discarded my clothes and went into the bathroom, turning the water in the shower to a medium-hot, I stepped directly under the showerhead. The water pelting down against my flesh felt good, soothing even, but it still couldn’t wash away the pain deep inside my chest. How a woman could come into your life and change everything was something I never believed in, not until Blair. She was a godsend when I needed it the most. I was a reckless man, running from the realities of life to the FBI in hopes that they’d take me in with open arms and I’d make a career out of chasing the bad guys. Never had I imagined that I would encounter the woman of my dreams, and a new kind of family altogether.

My eyes closed as I scrubbed my body with a bar of soap, trying to envision Blair there with me. Her hands smoothing down my sides, over my ass, and around to my erection; she enjoyed showering together. As my hand ran over my length I envisioned Blair smiling up at me with a hint of playfulness in her eyes as her hand moved up and down against me. A groan would pass my lips as she sucked her plump bottom lip into her mouth and gently bit down. I’d push her dark her out of her face and take her mouth with my own, pulling a strangled moan up her throat. She was my kryptonite, and I her Superman.

Or I guess I should say was her Superman because I’d failed her.

The image of her disappeared as quickly as it appeared and I dropped my hand from my cock. Growling in frustration, not because I was going to have major blue balls, but because guilt weighed heavy on my heart. Everything that had transpired was because I couldn’t protect her. I was too caught up in the moment and allowed Lexie to tie my hands and muzzle me like a submissive person.

I slammed my hand against the white tile stall, “What the fuck did you do, Gavin? What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Do.”

Hastily turning the water off I jerked the shower curtain open so hard it came tumbling down, rod and all. Anger pulsed through me and I slammed the rod into the tub, knocking the shampoo and conditioner bottles from their resting spots and sending all of Blair’s bath supplies into the tub with them.

“Fuck!” I growled and wrapped a towel around my waist.

The bathroom was left in disarray as I flipped the light off and came face-to-face with myself in the long mirror just outside of the bathroom door in our bedroom. My eyes were bloodshot and deep circles were making an appearance beneath them. More than a five o’clock shadow had grown on my face; I was surprised Gribbins hadn’t complained about it since he liked all agents to have a groomed look. I took a seat in the red winged back chair Blair had to have one day when we went shopping for furniture. She’d begged me to buy it, said she’d think of it as a housewarming gift from me to her. Which made no sense at all because gifts were supposed to be purchased for other people who just recently bought a home, not yourself.

I chuckled at the thought and tears pooled in my eyes.

“Dammit, man.” My voice was thick as I shoved up from the chair, scrubbing my hands against my eyes, hoping to push away the tears.

My mind was heavy with all the memories throughout our room, and the entire house. So, I slipped into a pair of plaid pajama pants, grabbed a fifth of whiskey from the cabinet beside the fridge, and drank myself into a drunken slumber on the couch as quickly as I was capable of.