Chapter Fourteen
Em’s eyes slid open at the same time every morning, so she knew the most dreaded part of her day had come—getting out of bed, in particular, getting out of Bryce’s bed, out of the comfort of his arms. She had to though. Thursday, a school day slash work day, she had to wake Bree and get her ready for school, and she had to get ready for work.
On her side, she faced him, her head close to his. Relaxed in sleep, he looked absolutely beautiful, hair disheveled, stubble overgrown, and chest on display. She should’ve kept her eyes closed. Now, she really hated getting up.
Feeling movement, she angled her head down and noticed the blonde head of hair snuggled close between them. How the hell? When had Bree joined them in bed? Why would she?
Bree had bad dreams from time to time. When she did, Em let her sleep in bed with her though Bree hadn’t had a bad dream for a while, not since moving. Times in the past when Bree had one, she always woke Em, always asked if she could sleep with her. If she had a bad dream last night, Bree hadn’t known where to find her since Bree didn’t know she left her at night. Bree had woken last night, and her baby had woken alone because she’d been with Bryce. Guilt clogging her throat, she thought back. She would’ve remembered waking in the middle of the night. She didn’t, so she hadn’t let her daughter get in bed with her. Had she, she would’ve put on a pair of undies. And she would’ve never let Bree get into bed with her and Bryce, it’d make her think…
Shit! Bryce was naked!
Gripping the top of the sheet that lay over the three of them, she lifted it. Thank God, Bryce wore a pair of shorts.
“Mommy?”
Her daughter was very inquisitive, too smart. What the hell would she tell her when Bree asked her why Mommy and Daddy slept in the same bed?
She pulled away from Bryce, looked down at Bree, and though her stomach turned, she smiled. “Morning, baby.”
Bree returned the smile making her forget what she’d been so worried about. “Daddy said I could sleep with you.”
There it was. Sock to the chest.
“I had a bad dream.”
She nodded. “You can tell me about it while we get you ready for school.”
“Do I have to?”
She nodded. “Yes, you do.”
“I do what?”
Her smile widened. “You have to go to school, and you have to tell me about the dream.”
“Oh, all right.”
“Come on.” Em sat up in bed and got to her feet. “Up, slowly, so you don’t wake your father.”
Bree did as she asked. They left Bryce’s room and headed into theirs. Bree went into the closet to pick out her clothes.
Em followed and waited for Bree to set aside a pair of jeans and pink blouse before she spoke. “Bree, tell me about your dream.”
Bree turned to face her and sighed. “It was about Daddy.”
Brows raised, she nodded. “Go on.”
“He was gone…”
She shook her head. “Honey, you know your dad isn’t leaving.”
Her big, beautiful eyes watered. “Then I woke up, and you were gone.”
She knelt in front of her placing her hands on Bree’s shoulders. “I wasn’t gone, and your dad isn’t gone. I am here like I’ve always been, and your dad isn’t going anywhere.”
Bree nodded.
“Now, it’s time to shower.”
She stood and watched Bree go. A moment later, she heard the water run. She turned intent on picking out her clothes for the day when the door to her room parted. She spun.
Of course, Bryce. No one else went into their room without knocking. His chest bare, shorts hanging low on his hips, she was lost in that until she heard his voice.
“Up here.”
Her head snapped up, gaze shot to his. She didn’t have time to process how she’d been caught ogling him red-handed because he had that look. Shoulders tense, eyes hard and narrowed, the first time she’d seen him upset since the video incident.
He leaned into her, so close their lips were practically touching. The heat of his body warmed her as the husky smell of him hit her. “This shit’s gonna end, and it’s gonna end today.” His voice firm yet low.
What? Them?
About time, and thank God, he was ending it. No way in hell she ever could. It was for the best, and still, she hated it was over.
“You wanna get your fix, then when I wake up in the morning, you better be next to me.”
This time, she said it aloud because she had no idea what he meant. “W-what?”
“I’m good enough to make you come, then I’m good enough to wake up next to.”
Again, what? She raised her brows. “What?”
He clenched his jaw. “Em, you’re smart, babe. Why aren’t you getting what I’m saying?”
She shook her head. “I just don’t—”
He grabbed her arms and tugged her body against the length of his. Grip firm, he grazed his lips against hers. Her lids fluttered closed then open.
“You want to fuck, we’ll fuck. But from now on, when it happens and I wake up, you better be there, Em. Next time, I wake up and you’re gone, I’ll cuff you to the bed.”
“What?” she said, breathlessly, the meaning different this time. She heard what he said; she just couldn’t believe he said what he had.
Eyes widening, he reared back releasing her in the process, so the heat of his body melted away.
“I didn’t know you—”
“You thought I wanted to wake up alone? You think I like feeling like you use me to get off?”
Was he serious? That was absurd! If anything, he used her. “What?”
He cocked his head and further narrowed his gaze. “Stop saying that.”
“I’m sorry… I just…” She shook her head trying to gather her thoughts. That didn’t work, so she closed her eyes. When she parted them and met his strange, beautiful ones, she repeated, “I didn’t realize you wanted me there.”
His brows drew together. “You didn’t realize I wanted you there?”
“Yes.”
“So you left ’cause you thought I didn’t want you there?”
She swallowed. “Yes.”
His face softened. “That doesn’t make any sense, Em, ’cause you know if I didn’t want you there, I would’ve made it known. I wouldn’t’ve let you fall asleep next to me.”
He made a point, but still… “It makes perfect sense. Besides, I remember you used to like sleeping in.”
“So you were letting me sleep in even though as long as you’ve been here, I’ve only missed breakfast with Bree a couple of times while I was away?”
“Yes.”
One brow raised, he looked like he was mulling over what she said, deciding whether to believe her.
She took the chance to point out, “And anyway, I have to wake Bree and get her ready for school.”
His shoulders relaxing, he nodded then looked down at his feet. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”
She realized then, belatedly, she had something she wanted to discuss with him, too. “You let her get into bed with us.”
He lifted his head. “Yeah.”
“I know she had a bad dream, and you were trying to comfort her, but you can’t let her do that again.”
His brows wrinkled. “So it’s okay for her to sleep with you, but she can’t sleep with me?”
“It’s not that. It’s that she shouldn’t be in bed with you and me.”
He reared back before he asked, “Why not?”
Shaking her head, she attempted to rephrase. “I mean she can. It’s just… It’s that she shouldn’t have been made aware that I was…in bed with you.”
He cocked his head. “Again, why not?”
“She’s going to wonder why her mom and dad were in bed together. No, scratch that. She’s going to think that we’re… That you and I are…together.”
He quirked a brow. “So?”
Her eyes bulged. “So?”
“Yeah, Em, so what? Why does that matter?”
God, why was he making her explain this? He knew why. Because they weren’t. Because he was just fucking her. Because living at the compound, Bree could potentially catch him with a tap, and she’d wonder why Daddy was with another woman. Because their baby girl would get her hopes up only to have them come crashing down when he got tired of her.
“She…” Em shook her head. “She shouldn’t think that.”
His body tensed a split second before he leaned into her. “Are you fuckin’ someone else I don’t know about, Em?”
What? Again, was he serious? Besides the fact she was so in love with him she’d never dated or moved on, when would she have the time to be with anyone else? She spent her days at work and with Bree and her nights with him. Because of this, she just looked at him.
“Em? You hear me?”
She took a deep breath and released it before she responded. “Yes, I heard you.”
“So answer me. Are you fuckin’ someone else?”
“No.” She kept her voice level. “I haven’t ever been with anyone other than you.”
“Good.” The tension lining his body melted when he smirked. “I’m not fuckin’ anyone but you, so we’re good.”
That didn’t mean he wanted her for more than sex. It didn’t mean there was a future, and it didn’t mean he loved her. But it felt so good to hear she momentarily forgot to breathe.
He smiled wider. “So, we’re good?”
She had to think back, remember what they’d originally been discussing—Bree, Bree thinking they were together. No, they weren’t good. Because they were exclusively having sex with each other didn’t mean their daughter should know they were sleeping in the same bed. Bree thinking her mom and dad were getting back together to have that fantasy shattered when her mom and dad didn’t end up together was cruel.
“Morning, Daddy!”
They turned toward Bree at the same time.
“Morning, baby,” he said with a smile then threw his arm around Em’s shoulders and tugged her close.
It felt good, not just because he felt good and warm, but because he’d been affectionate in front of someone else. That someone else was their baby who shouldn’t know about them when nothing would become of them, so she knew she should push him away, yet she couldn’t in front of Bree.
Their talk would have to wait.
****
Over the last day, Em hadn’t found the time to talk to Bryce about Bree. That’s what she kept telling herself, but it was a big, fat lie. The truth was she had chances to talk to him, namely last night before and after they had sex multiple times. While they had talked, she hadn’t brought up the reason Bree shouldn’t know about them. She also had a chance that morning when he came into her room again with a pair of handcuffs.
He looked at Bree’s smiling face and said, “Good morning, baby,” then cupped the back of her head and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Go shower. I’ll be right back.”
When Bree walked into the bathroom, he laced his fingers through hers and led her out of the room and into his. Before she processed what he intended to do, he’d cuffed her to his bed.
“W-what? Why?”
Leaning into her, her back pressed against the headboard. “I don’t talk outta my ass, Em. I do what I say. You know this.”
Right. He’d threatened to cuff her to his bed if he woke and she was gone. She took the chance to remind him, “I thought we came to an understanding that I have to get Bree ready for school.”
He cocked his head. “I thought I told you that shit isn’t an excuse since I always have breakfast with you and Bree anyway.”
She quirked a brow. “What did you want me to do? Wake you up?”
“Yeah,” he said immediately.
That one “yeah” shot straight to her heart making it beat a little faster. “I’ll do it tomorrow.”
He grinned then uncuffed her.
She could’ve talked to him then about the many reasons Bree shouldn’t know about them. She could’ve also talked to him about it when he arrived back from taking Bree to school, and he’d stopped by the office and spoke to her briefly about a customer’s bill. She just couldn’t bring herself to. Maybe she hadn’t because of the change in him, the fact he wanted to wake beside her, wanted her to wake him, the fact that when he threatened to cuff her to the bed and when he had cuffed her to the bed, he hadn’t been angry or cruel. He treated her with respect, teased her, laughed, and smiled with her, all behind closed doors, but still… All of it made her think things were changing. And maybe she wanted all of this to mean something it didn’t, but she didn’t want anything to mess that up and possibly revert him to the way he used to be.
The phone rang jolting her to action. She picked it up and heard Allie on the other end. They exchanged hellos. Then Allie asked to speak with Jace, aka Trig, her husband/old man. Allie apologized for bothering her at work but said he wasn’t answering his cell, and it worried her. No bother to Em. She put her on hold, went in search of Trig, and found him in the garage talking to Army.
“Trig?”
He turned and met her gaze.
“Allie’s on line one for you. She says you aren’t picking up your phone.”
He searched his pockets. “Fuck.” He glared at Trick, standing beside Army. “You take my phone?”
Trick’s dark brow rose. “Why the fuck would I take your phone?”
“’Cause you’re always fuckin’ playing games.”
Trick raised both hands, palms up. “It wasn’t me. Maybe you left it at home.”
“I didn’t—”
“Trig?” She interrupted him. “Allie is on hold, and she’s worried.”
He ran toward the phone at the back end of the garage near the door leading into the compound. As the familiar roar of motorcycles sounded louder and louder, she turned her head instinctively toward the noise. Three motorcycles, one very familiar since it had been parked outside the place she called home for more than four years.
Tracker sat astride his bike, and she knew what him being there meant. He had news about Chip. It could be good or bad, yet considering the circumstances, she figured it was bad.
Her heart tightening in her chest, her stomach hollowed out as her breaths grew shallow. Before she knew it, she stood feet from him, those green eyes searing her.
“Say it.” She had to hear it, just had too. Then she lied. “I can take it.”
****
“Rip!”
He turned to Strike.
“You need to get outside. Now.”
“Why?”
Shit. Em. Had to be.
Thinking the worst, he dashed toward Strike then past him.
Strike one step behind. “It’s Chained. They’re here means they have news about Chip, and chances are the shit they came to tell Em isn’t good.”
That sucked. Chip had been in a coma for weeks, so no doubt in his mind Chip hadn’t made it.
He slammed into the door leading to the garage at a run. Scanning the shop and lot immediately, he didn’t spot Chained. His view hindered by the cars and bikes lined inside. At one of the metal doors, he spotted her, and his body locked.
Em, the only woman he ever loved, the mother of his child, the woman he pleasured and savored every night then fell asleep beside, his Em, had a hand on Tracker’s shoulder as she lifted her leg, about to get on another man’s bike.
His heart stopped dead. When it started again, he had one purpose and one alone—stop her. Before he knew it, he grabbed her arm, tugged her toward him making her face him.
She stumbled.
He steadied her by releasing her arm, snaking his other around her waist and hauling her until he pressed her to his chest. Staring down at her, he cupped her face. His breaths coming out in gasps, he said for only her ears while he fought to keep the anger out of his voice. “Whose dick was buried inside you not fuckin’ eight hours ago?”
Her eyes widened. “You don’t—”
“Whose dick, babe?”
“Yours.” She rested her palms on his sweat-soaked shirt.
The action alone soothed some of the rage burning his gut. That and the fact she admitted it made him instinctively loosen his hold of her waist.
His blood boiled. He still felt it under his skin burning him, familiar and yet he hadn’t felt that fury since she told him why she’d left, since before she’d admitted she wanted him always, since before he bedded her and continued to do it every night. It only proved how far gone he’d been watching her attempt to climb onto another man’s bike.
“Who made you come last night?”
“You.”
Damn straight. He released a breath, some of the tension lining his shoulders fading. “How. Many. Times?”
“Four…”
Opening his mouth to speak, she spoke over him. “No, five.”
He quirked a brow.
She took it as a need to explain and did. “The last one counted as two.”
Right, further proving his point. He grazed his lips against hers and said, “That means you’re mine. You belong to me. You don’t believe me, I’ll prove it to you right here, right now, and give everyone a show. You won’t stop me ’cause the second I touch you, you melt. You can’t live without me, babe, and you fuckin’ know it. What I don’t get is you knowing this, you knowing me and this world, how you’d ever try to do what you just did.”
He didn’t believe all he said. She melted for him, yes, every time. But she could live without him, she’d done it for a long time. Still, he said it because he wanted it to be true.
“I—”
He clenched his jaw, battling his rage, fighting not to show it to her, take it out on her. “Stop and think before you speak. Come up with a good excuse ’cause I will lose my fuckin’ mind if you feed me some bullshit line.”
“I’m not going to give you an excuse, Bryce. I’m going to tell you the truth. I didn’t think you cared. I—”
His fingers tightened on her jaw. “Told you no bullshit—”
Her hands at his chest fisted. “My turn to talk.” Her voice firm. “As of late, you’ve fucked me a lot. You’ve also treated me like a tap, so honestly, I didn’t think you cared.”
He didn’t treat her like a tap. They had sex, a lot of it. Sometimes, he took her hard, but he made love to her too, something she couldn’t have missed. Something else, he cuddled with her, talked to her, smiled and laughed with her, like before, like she hadn’t left, like he’d never lost her.
His body vibrated, fury coursing through him too powerful to control. “You’ve got to be fuckin’ kidding me.”
Without flinching, she held his stare. A glimpse of the old Em, the feisty one who didn’t back down, who didn’t cry at every turn. Though still not the same, the old Em would’ve snapped back, pushed at his chest, or screamed bloody murder until he released her. Still that small glimpse, a reminder the old Em was still in there, elated him.
Not that it mattered, he’d come to the conclusion Em, old or new, he’d take her any way he could have her. He loved her for more than that temper she once showed so easily and frequently, for more than the meek woman she turned into, and for much more than her beautiful face. He loved her for a combination of everything that made her her—the whole package that did him in.
“I’m not fucking kidding you.” She cursed, but her voice remained level.
He leaned into her, and again, because he couldn’t help himself, he grazed his lips against hers. “Barely come up for air, Em. We didn’t have Bree, we wouldn’t be getting outta bed. You know this.”
“That could just be because like you said, I’m a good lay.”
He’d lied. She wasn’t a good lay. She was the best he’d ever had. Still, she wasn’t making any sense.
He released her cheeks, allowing her to look away. One arm curved around her back, he grasped the back of her neck with the other. “We have sex, a lot of it, but we talk and laugh, and…that means something to me. You’re not a fuckin’ tap, not to me, not to anyone. You’re just mine.”
She was his, the mother of his child, half of his world, the other half being Bree. He may not mean more to her than sex, but he’d had her every night for weeks, and that meant no matter what he meant to her, she was his.
She lifted her head meeting his stare.
“Say it.”
“I’m yours.”
His muscles contracted. In doing so, he clutched her to him as a heady sensation made his chest clench. Despite this, he grinned.
A small smile spread across her lips.
He released her waist, slung his arm around her shoulders, buried his face in her neck, and ran his tongue along her pulse.
She melted. Her hands at his chest gripped him tight as her body shivered.
Just above her ear, he whispered, “You’re mine. Not gonna remind you again, Em.”
Drawing away, he tore his gaze from her and glared at Tracker. “Try that shit again, and I’ll hang you up by your balls.”
Tracker didn’t say anything. He just glared right back. Then again, Tracker knew what he’d tried to do was fucked, a violation of the bro code, a nasty beating or worse in the brotherhood, so there wasn’t anything he could do.
Ripper couldn’t blame him for taking his chance. It’d been the other way around, he would’ve done the same just for the chance to feel Em pressed against him on his bike.
Through gritted teeth, Tracker said, “Chip’s up and wants to see Em.”
Rip darted his stare to Em and let his arm slide across her shoulders and down the length of her arm to grab her hand. Then he led her toward his SUV, opened the passenger side door, and helped her in. Walking around the car, he hopped in, turned on the ignition, waited for Tracker to leave, and waited to gain some of his wits. When he did, he turned to her, swinging his arm around her until his hand grasped the back of her neck. He hauled her toward him. “I let you go once. I’m not ever letting you go again.”
He said it unwillingly, giving away so much, much more than he ever wanted to. He didn’t care.
Her eyes widened, lips parted, and that beautiful face of hers softened.
Just like before. She used to look at him like that all the time. He missed it so much. Watching it then, he decided he’d continue to hand over his balls just to see that look on her face.
“I lied.”
That softness faded, fast.
Before she made a move to pull away, he admitted, “You aren’t a good lay. You’re the best I’ve ever had.”
Then, there it was again—that look.
He wanted to keep it there, so he was tempted to tell her everything: that he never cheated, that he never stopped loving her, that he never could. So he wouldn’t, he bit his tongue. He couldn’t tell her, not now en route to see Chip, not before he found Lilliam.
He kissed her instead, and she melted against him.