Gavin walked to Savanna’s door and, three different times, turned away without ringing the bell. He had no idea if his involvement in her life would turn out to be a positive thing, and he didn’t want it to be a negative. If they wound up in a serious relationship, he could easily imagine Heather being unkind whenever she and Savanna bumped into each other. And if Heather would soon be the mother of his child, they’d bump into each other on a regular basis.
It could get difficult; he had to acknowledge that.
He also had to acknowledge that he wasn’t simply choosing between two women. There was more at stake than that. If he didn’t get back with Heather, there was a possibility that he wouldn’t be able to move to Nashville. He couldn’t leave if he had a child here in Silver Springs. He’d owe it to that child to stick around and help raise him or her.
Bottom line, he and Savanna were both in such complicated situations. He couldn’t imagine a relationship between them would work—and yet he felt something that was hopeful and promising enough to make him risk his best chance for a successful music career.
That, more than anything, told him he might as well ring the bell, see if she’d refuse to have any more to do with him, or if he could change her mind.
She answered wearing those cutoffs he’d taken off before, the ones that showed her legs to perfection. She had her hair down, too, which he also liked. But he was determined not to focus on the physical. He needed to slow things down, make sure they weren’t letting sexual attraction cloud more rational thinking. The sexual attraction had been so instantaneous and strong...
Instead of acting excited to see him, she bit her lip, so he quickly lifted the bottle of wine he’d carried over. “It would be rude to turn away a neighbor who’s bringing you a peace offering.”
“And I wouldn’t want to be rude.” Although she spoke those words with a slight smile, she sobered almost immediately. “But I’d better not invite you in. The kids are in bed.”
Still hoping to get her to soften, he winked at her. “That’s okay. I wasn’t going to offer them any.”
She laughed in spite of her general reluctance to be welcoming. “I meant they wouldn’t be around to make sure you and I didn’t...you know, do anything you might have to explain to Heather later.”
“You mean like yesterday.”
“Yes, like yesterday.” She raked her fingers through her thick, curly hair. “What was that, anyway?”
“I was a jealous ass yesterday. Seeing Roger chat you up and follow you around drove me nuts. I’m sorry.”
“Roger was only being nice!”
Gavin gave her a knowing look. “He was being more than nice.”
“Even if he was, it doesn’t matter. I’m not interested in him.”
“You’re sure?”
“Without question! Do you think I’d make out with you upstairs if I had even the slightest attraction to him?”
“Jealousy isn’t always logical or trusting. But I’m glad to hear you’re not that into him, because what happened when you came out of the bathroom was totally honest.”
“Honest,” she echoed.
“Yes. Real. Spontaneous.”
“And yet you walked out without even saying goodbye.”
“Heather was texting me to let me know she was back, and I wanted to talk to her.”
She propped one shoulder against the doorjamb. “Did you tell her?”
“I didn’t bring that up specifically, no. But I did let her know that things have gotten physical between you and me in the past, and I’d like the opportunity to explore what I feel for you.”
Her eyes widened in apparent surprise. “What about the baby? And moving to Nashville?”
“If the baby’s mine, I’ll have to stay in Silver Springs.”
“And that’s okay? You love music. And you’re so good at it. I wouldn’t want to be the one holding you back.”
“You wouldn’t be holding me back. I’ll do what I can from here and possibly LA. Granted, that doesn’t put me in the best position for success. There are far more opportunities in Nashville these days, despite what others might think of LA. But if I have a child, I won’t move away from him or her.”
“If you married Heather, you could have both,” she pointed out.
“I’ve considered that. But then there’s you, and there’s no getting away from the fact that you hold some magic for me.”
Another smile threatened, but she seemed to fight it off. “As much as I like hearing that, I don’t know if I can let you make such a choice.”
“Because...”
“I want you to have what will make you the happiest.”
The sincerity in her voice destroyed any doubt he had left about breaking off with Heather. This was the type of woman he wanted. “How do you know that won’t be getting together with you?”
She stepped outside and closed the door. “Think about it, Gavin. I don’t have a lot to offer. I have two kids who are great, but they are struggling, especially Branson. Since his father went to jail, he’s been wetting the bed. I thought it had stopped, but he had another accident last night, so I’ll probably have to figure out a way to afford therapy for him. Beyond that, I’m not officially divorced. So if Gordon doesn’t go to prison, I might not be able to finalize the paperwork, at least for some time. He could sue me for custody of Branson and Alia, demand visitation even if he doesn’t get custody, balk at paying child support and generally make me—and anyone who’s attached to me—miserable. It’s not even as though I have many possessions or money to make life easier, only this broken-down house that I’m trying to fix up and barely enough savings to carry me until fall, at which point I’ll be searching for a job. Why would you ever want to get involved with me?”
“There’s a lot that’s broken in your life right now.”
“Exactly.”
“Well, I happen to be really good at fixing things,” he said.
She laughed. “But don’t you think we’re up against too much? Why would you ever be willing to jump into such a mess?”
He stepped closer so he could cup her cheek with his free hand. “Because I think I could love you like I’ve never loved anyone else.”
He’d told himself he wouldn’t kiss her tonight, that they’d just talk and get to know each other better. But the way she looked at him, with an endearing yet modest expression, he couldn’t help himself. As his hand slid to the back of her head, he lowered his mouth to hers—and was soon lost.
* * *
Savanna let her eyes slide closed as she gave herself over to the taste of Gavin’s lips. They’d kissed before, and those kisses had all been good, but this one was filled with a fragile promise—the promise of something new and untried—and while that made succumbing to Gavin feel far more risky, it also made the contact more meaningful.
“I love that you’re different,” she told him when he lifted his head.
He smiled as he looked down at her. “In what way?”
She could tell he’d heard those words before but was curious to hear her specific take. “You’re so emotionally honest and unafraid. You’re willing to bare your heart and actually feel something regardless of the risk. I admire your courage.”
“It’s hard not to feel something for you.” He bent his head to kiss her again, but she stopped him.
“Except...I wasn’t exaggerating about what we’re up against, Gavin. Before you commit yourself to getting any more involved with me, maybe you should come in and hear the latest.”
He seemed concerned. So was she. Her world was threatening to fall apart again—and he’d shown up right in the middle of the latest crisis. “Something’s changed?”
She nodded. “And not for the better.”
Savanna had cleaned off the other chairs in her living room—everything was now unpacked—so there were plenty of places to sit. When Gavin took the couch, she perched on the edge of the chair across from him, too upset and nervous to sit back.
“What’s happened?” he asked.
“A couple of things. First, I heard from Gordon today.” She held up the letter she’d left on the coffee table, which she’d been reading and rereading when Gavin had rung her doorbell.
“What does he have to say?”
“I’ll let you read it, if you want, but it says that he’s shocked and heartbroken that I would be disloyal enough to believe he could rape those women. That he’s innocent and will soon be getting out, and then I’ll be sorry that I didn’t stand by him.” She let her breath go in a sigh. “That’s the gist of it.”
Gavin’s eyebrows drew together. “Sorry in what way?”
“He doesn’t specify. Just blames me for breaking up our family, which he claims didn’t need to happen if only I’d had a little faith and remained true to him.”
“But...that’s the type of stuff he’s been saying all along, isn’t it?”
“For the most part. It’s when you take this letter and couple it with what Detective Sullivan just told me on the phone that it all gets worrisome.”
“What’d Sullivan have to say?”
The panic she’d felt when that call first came in welled up again. “He told me that the DA is thinking about dropping the charges.”
Gavin came to his feet. “What?”
“I know.” She stood, too. “I can’t believe it myself. I’ve been over here pacing another hole in this old carpet, wondering what I’m going to do.”
“Why would the district attorney ever even think about dropping the charges?”
“Remember the victim—Theresa Spinnaker—whose blood was found in our van?”
“Yes...”
“She’s admitted to having accepted a ride from him.”
“So?”
“So the district attorney feels the DNA evidence is no longer what it needs to be. Proving Theresa was in Gordon’s van doesn’t mean what it did when she was swearing up and down that she’d never met Gordon before the attack, and he was saying the same.”
“But it was her blood.”
“They don’t seem to care about that, since it was found in such small quantities. They said taking that to court might actually backfire because the defense would argue that it was negligible, that if she’d really been hurt as badly as the pictures prove she was hurt, there would be a lot more blood than a few tiny droplets.”
“What about the items in that duffel bag?”
“Bad news there, too. The lab came back with the results of all the DNA testing. There’s no genetic material on any of those items.”
“None? Isn’t that a little odd in and of itself? If Gordon handled those things—the knife, in particular—they should’ve found his DNA at least. No DNA indicates he must’ve cleaned it.”
“I asked Sullivan the same thing. He said they needed at least one item from that duffel bag to establish a firm connection to one or more of the victims, and it didn’t happen. Instead of being the strong forensic evidence we all expected, the rape kit is now as circumstantial as everything else, and circumstantial evidence isn’t what they need to get a conviction.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Gavin said.
She wiped her palms on her cutoffs as she’d been doing all evening. “I wish I was.”
“They don’t have anything else on him?”
“Meredith Caine swears she recognizes his voice from the attack, but human memory is notoriously unreliable. She can’t ID him visually, since he was wearing a mask, and the DA won’t go with voice recognition alone.”
“If the charges are dropped, he gets out, goes free, can do whatever he wants.”
She said nothing.
“This is terrible,” he said.
“That’s why he went silent after I mentioned Emma Ventnor. He knows he probably won’t need a defense, and he doesn’t want to make the mistake of saying anything that could get him in trouble on an entirely different case. No doubt he’s told Dorothy to leave me alone, too. He only sent me that letter because he couldn’t help letting me know I shouldn’t have sided against him, that he’ll soon be back in the power seat.”
“And he could think a letter through, make sure it was safe.”
“Yes.”
“Wow.” Gavin rested his hands on his lean hips.
Savanna frowned. “See what I mean?”
“Does Sullivan still want you to go to Utah?”
“I was supposed to leave tomorrow morning but just put it off by a week.”
“What for?”
“If I’m only going to have one shot at this, I need more time to prepare. I’m thinking I should send a letter or two, establish a more positive dialogue with Gordon. Maybe even put some money on his books. I’ll have the strongest hand to play if I make him feel as though I’m interested in staying together.”
Gavin didn’t look as though he particularly liked the idea. “What will that do?”
“It’ll make him feel he has something to lose if he can’t convince me that he had nothing to do with Emma Ventnor’s disappearance.”
“But you’ve already asked him about Emma.”
“I’m going to say the police have some new evidence tying him to the case. That just when I believed he was innocent, of everything, they came to me with...something. I can’t decide what.”
“You’re going to bluff.”
“Absolutely. If the police don’t come up with new evidence, everything will rest on my visit to the jail. I have to get him to say something incriminating.”
“Now that he thinks he’s getting out, it’ll be even harder. But at least he won’t find it strange that you’re suddenly coming to visit. I was worried that would work against you.” Gavin took the letter and read through it. “This opens you up to reconciliation, so when you write him back and give him some money, he might buy it,” he added when he was done.
“I believe he raped those women, Gavin. I believe he’ll hurt others, if he can. Since I didn’t stick by his side, he might even hurt me.”
Gavin tossed the letter on the coffee table and sat back down. “You’ll have to use everything you know about him, exploit his tiniest weakness. You realize that? It won’t be easy. What happens if doubts creep in?”
“And what if I do my best and it still doesn’t work?” That was what really frightened her. “What if he gets out in a few weeks? He’ll come here. I know he will. He might even try to take the kids.”
Gavin rubbed his face with both hands. “Shit.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I told you I’m not in a good situation.”
He got up and walked over so he could pull her into his arms. It felt wonderful just to be that close to him again. She’d been so upset all evening, so scared of what might happen. She’d escaped Nephi, thought she’d escaped the whole situation—for the most part. Now everything had been turned on its head. How could all the evidence that’d been so compelling be too weak to get the job done?
Would Gordon show up at her door in a few short weeks?
He would if he had the chance. And what would that do to Branson and Alia?
“Don’t worry.” Gavin gave her a soft kiss on the neck. “We’ve got seven days. We’ll figure it out.”
She pulled back to look him in the face. “Are you sure you don’t want to run for the hills? I wouldn’t blame you.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
She rested her cheek against his chest. “Please tell me they won’t let him out.”
“Somehow, we’ll make sure of it,” he said, but she knew he was only trying to comfort her. He had no way of keeping that promise.
It was all on her.