“I don’t intend to be a downer, but where do we go from here, Vanessa?” Riley asked as they ate pizza on the floor in front of the TV. 

“Well, I’d say we could have more sex, but I think we need a little rest from the activities, Riley.  I don’t care what any kinky romance novels say, but I don’t see how two people can have that much sex without serious physical repercussions.  No bladder infections?  Nothing falling off or getting sprained?  And they could, um, finish, together, each time?  Right.  Get real.  I need a break.”

“You read kinky romance novels?” Riley asked with raised eyebrow.

Vanessa blushed.  “Not usually.  Emily is hopelessly addicted.  She convinced me to read a couple, said I needed hope and a little push in the right direction.  Each one was totally predictable.  The sex got ridiculous.  I found myself skimming over those parts.”

“I am not surprised,” Riley said quietly.  “You’re surprisingly accurate at reading people.”  Riley studied his piece of pizza. 

He saw out of the corner of his eye how she looked at him speculatively.  “Yes, I am. . . usually.”  She waited for him to speak.  Silence.  “So, what do you want to tell me, Riley.”

He sat his slice on top of the box and stood up, grabbing the blanket wrapped around his waist.  The blanket prevented his need to pace, and he considered briefly letting it fall to the ground so he could.  Being naked didn’t feel right at the moment.  He shifted his feet and turned away from Vanessa in an attempt to hide the fact that he was summoning up his courage.  He stood facing the wall trying to work out what he wanted to say.

He sensed her before he felt her arms wrap around his waist from behind.  Feeling her hands on his skin, lightly stroking his stomach, instantly he knew what he needed to tell her.  He turned around and faced her, brushed her hair off her face so he could stare into the eyes he dreamed about, the eyes he knew could see straight into his psyche.

“Vanessa, I am fully aware that I have been depressed for the last six months.  My mother’s death had a profound impact on me.”

“She was your mom, Riley.  She was, is, important to you.”

He smiled down at her.  “That she is.”  Never letting go of Vanessa, he dragged her over to the couch and settled back so her head rested on his chest.  He kissed her forehead, and she turned her head up to see his face.  Her expectant expression dumbfounded him.  How did she know there was more to his story?  She reached up to caress his face, and he couldn’t hold back anymore.

“I felt like I let my mother die.”  Vanessa sat up to say something, but he held up his hand to stop her.  “I know I’m not responsible for my mother’s illness or her death, Vanessa.”  He sighed.  “Guilt is a funny thing.  It grips; it makes people obsess.  Rationally, I knew I could not have done anything, but right after her death, I questioned my choices.  If I had followed my original path in biotechnology, would I have found some way to cure her?  It festered, ate at me, made me question all of my choices and wonder if everything I had done in the last eight years was worth losing my mother.  It was part of my grief.  I know that now.  Heck, I knew it then, too.

“I met Bailee right after my mother’s death.  I needed a distraction from the pain.  I need you to know that I never loved her, even in my grief, but I needed someone, anyone.  I trusted her, and I shouldn’t have.  I had been alone for so long, and before Mom’s death, I was okay with that.  But after she died, I was so very lonely.  I’d never been lonely before.  Then… well you know what Bailee did.  Because of all that, I did some stupid things. 

“First, I got into a fight on the set.  Some guy made a remark about what a bitch his mother was, and I swear, something popped in my head.  Next thing I knew, he was on the ground bleeding from the mouth and I stood over him with sore knuckles and an aching jaw.  One of the set guys said he hit me back between my punches and that I hit him twice.  I figure I must have blacked out for a minute because I don’t remember any of what he described.  It was not like me at all.  I had never been in a fight or thrown a real punch before.  It scared me, especially since I couldn’t remember doing it, so I left the set and took off for three days.  I turned off my cell phone and just drove, doing a lot of soul searching along the way.  I came back because I realized I wasn’t acting like the man my mother raised. 

“Darby was waiting for me when I returned.  She didn’t ask questions or encourage me to talk, and I appreciate her for that.  We just played pool and drank.  Heavily.  I somehow managed to get to the set the next day, still drunk.  The producers were so unhappy and threatened legal action, but when I explained about the death of my mother, I offered to pay for the cost of the delay out of my salary.  We only had three days of shooting left that delayed us coming here.  If I hadn’t had my little fit, we would have been here for the hurricane.  We were delayed anyway.  The guy I hit didn’t press charges, and I hooked him up with my investment guy.  It was the least I could do.”

“When do you get paid for this movie, Riley?”

“After shooting.  We had to rewrite the contract.  That’s partly what we were doing that Sunday you left.  Why?”

Vanessa sat up and turned to look at Riley.  “Well, don’t you see?  Charles didn’t hire me just to help you.  He did it for purely selfish reasons.  By lessening your pay, you lessened his pay.  He hoped I would help you, sure, but only to protect his cash flow.” 

“Why is the reason he hired you so important to you?”

“Because, Riley, it makes me mad that someone would treat you like that.  He screwed you, royally, all under the guise of friendship.”

“He did me a favor.”

“Ugh!”  She stood up, raising her voice.  “Riley, you should be pissed.  Why do you continue to defend him?”

He stood up and grabbed both her arms.  “Because he brought me you, Vanessa!” he shouted.  “It’s the best thing anyone’s ever done for me.”  He rubbed his hand over his head.  “Don’t you get it?  I have never felt this way about anyone before.”  He took a deep breath and captured control of his volume.  He dropped his hands from his head and wrapped them around her waist pulling her closer to him.  “I was trying to ease into this, but here goes.”  He cleared his throat.  “Earlier, when I asked you where we go from here, you thought I meant today.  However, I meant I want to know about the long haul.  Forever.  I want to do whatever you want, as long as what you want is to be with me.”    He saw what he thought was panic rising in her eyes, so he quickly added, “I’m not intending to scare you away, Vanessa.  Please, don’t panic yet.  Hear me out.”

He waited for a few seconds.  He looked at her pointedly, and she nodded, giving him permission to continue. 

“I told you before, I was resigned in my decision to be alone.  I was getting better with my depression, a little anyway, but I was still an emotional void.  I was actually looking forward to getting back to work on this movie.  The hurricane delay kinda was a setback, but Darby made it her mission to cheer me up.  She really helped.  Then you appeared, Miss Sassy Pants.”  He smiled when she rolled her eyes.  “You.  Smart.  Funny.  Challenging.  Understated and sexy as hell. 

“And, speaking of that moment, I never apologized for not standing when I first met you.  I know I didn’t make the best first impression.  My mother raised me better, but… honestly, basketball shorts do nothing to hide the, um, excitement I had at first glance of you.”

She blushed.  “That’s because you thought I was a hooker.”

“No.  I was surprised.  And for the record, I took one look at you and I knew there was more to you than that.  Honestly, women who think so little of themselves that they have to sell their bodies?  It’s a major turn off to me.  But when I saw you…”  he closed his eyes, relishing the memory.  “I have never reacted at first sight like that to any woman.  Ever.  Not even when I was a teenager.  And if you remember, I turned you down.  Then I found out the true nature of your visit, and I got mad.  It was the first real emotion I felt since my mom died.  You.  You woke me up.  When you fell off that stool that day, I fell for you, Dr. Taylor.  Hard.”

She looked stunned.  Then she raised her eyebrow.  “Then why did you make me wait?”

He closed his eyes.  “You were so guarded at the beginning.  I saw flashes of attraction sometimes, but then you turned it off.  That night when we watched my movie, I wanted you so much, but when your dad called, I started thinking.  I had to be sure you at least had some inkling of feeling for me besides lust before continuing.  It’s the way I was raised.  I wanted to do it right.  And plus, I knew if you didn’t have feelings for me, you might leave.  I wanted to give you a reason to stay.

“And then you loved me.  Not for my celebrity.  Not for my money.  Not for my looks.  For me.  I saw it.  I felt it.  You didn’t have to say it.  I knew it.  But you left me anyway.  And it didn’t kill me.  Even your rejection in Texas.  Sure it hurt; I did slip back into my habits, but it didn’t destroy me.  I didn’t go numb again.  I felt everything.  You.”  He grabbed the sides of her face.  “You healed me.”  He searched her eyes. 

“Yeah, Right.  Me.  Better than Prozac.” 

He leaned his head back and laughed.  “Way better.”  He kissed her tenderly.  “I love you, Vanessa,” he proclaimed slowly.    “It feels so natural to be with you.  I can truly be myself.”  His speech sped up as he spoke.  “I want this to last.  I can see us growing old together.  I can see us having kids together.  I want to spend every day of the rest of our lives making you fall deeper in love with me.  I want to marry you, Vanessa.”  He saw her eyes widen in response and added quickly, “I’m not saying this to pressure you.”  His enthusiasm felt over the top, but he couldn’t help it.  “I don’t want to lose you.  I am willing to do anything to keep you.  You can move back into the house and live with me or in the separate room.  You can get an apartment close and we can date.  Hell, we can have a long distance relationship from Texas to L.A.  Tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.  Please.  All I want is a guarantee of forever with you.”  He searched her face for any sign of an answer.  It struck him what he just did, and he feared he made a mistake.  “You don’t have to answer now.  Think about it.”  He kissed her again before she could protest, released her and watched her stand there and say nothing.  Her expression remained mildly perplexed, like she was trying to do some complicated math problem in her head.  She sunk down to the couch, still not changing her expression. 

“Are you done eating,” he asked.

She drug her eyes up slowly to his.  “Huh what?”  She nodded her head.  “Oh, yeah, sure.”  Her eyes unfocused again, and he cleaned up the mess from lunch trying to resist the urge to stare at her. 

He put the leftover pizza in the small refrigerator and walked into the bedroom and closed the door.  He replayed his speech in his head, wishing he had stopped himself, realizing how desperate he must have sounded.  He remembered Vanessa’s words, “Desperate people make desperate choices.”  Was that true?  Was he desperate?  Was that what Vanessa would think?  Panic nearly choked him.  He sat down on the bed, sure that he had made a huge mistake.  She was probably in the other room panicking herself, plotting ways she could escape.  He remembered that although she was currently wrapped in a sheet, the dress she wore yesterday before he ripped it over her head was still in the room with her.  He wanted to prevent it, her leaving, but he knew that if that’s what she decided, he would have to let her go. 

He dressed slowly, preparing for the worst.  The need to get out of this space was overwhelming.  He thought a walk would do him some good.  He moved to open the bedroom door and ran into Vanessa, knocking her backward.  He had to grab her to prevent her from falling, but he quickly let her go and stepped back.  He saw her clothes from last night in her hand and swallowed hard.  Even though he felt her staring up at him, he couldn’t bring himself to look at her. 

“Riley,” Vanessa said softly.  He chilled at the sound of his name coming out of her mouth and slowly pulled his eyes to meet hers.  Not able to read her expression, he waited, preparing himself for her rejection. 

“Riley, when will you be finished with your movie?” she asked hurriedly. 

He tilted his head at her odd question.  “Tomorrow is my last day of shooting.”  He wanted to ask why, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

Again he noticed the solving-the-math-problem look on her face.  The look made him want to smooth out the lines in her forehead with his thumbs, but he remained still, afraid to touch her, unsure if he was still allowed.

“Tomorrow.  So when are you scheduled to leave?”

“Monday morning.” 

“Okay.”  She moved past him into the room.  “I need to get my bag from the front desk.  They stored it for me yesterday.” 

Still standing at the door, he leaned against it and closed his eyes.  He wanted so much to ask questions, but not wanting to know the answers kept him frozen.  Feeling the minutes pass, he opened his eyes to see her dressed, and his heart sank into his stomach.  He turned to leave the room.

“Riley?” she questioned.  “Where are you going?”

He stopped, but didn’t turn around.  “For a walk.  I thought I’d... give you some time.”

“Time?  Why? I know what I want.”

He closed his eyes again, frozen, ready to hear it.  He felt her walk around and stand in front of him and repressed the wince as she grabbed his hand.

“Riley, look at me.”  Reluctantly, he opened his eyes.  She was so achingly beautiful for someone about to rip out his heart.  Then she smiled.  “I figured that if we leave here Monday, we could fly to Vegas.  I’ll have time to call Dad, Gram, and Emily, maybe see if Seth can come.  You can call Darby, and maybe Javier and Graciela can meet us there.  What do you call a female best man anyway?”

He blinked, words slowly sinking in.  “Wait,” he whispered.  “You’re not leaving me?” 

“What?”  She rolled her eyes.  “For someone so smart, you can be so dense.”  She smiled a breathtakingly beautiful smile.  “No, not leaving.  I’m saying yes, Riley.  I want to marry you.”  She grabbed his other hand.  “And if we do it on Monday, we will beat my parents’ record for time between meeting and wedding.  Theirs was five weeks and six days…”

He interrupted her speech with his lips hungrily on hers.  He lifted her off the ground to his height, carried her to the bed and laid her down. 

“I hope you had enough of a break, Vanessa Lynn Taylor.  Because if I’m not completely delusional, you just agreed to marry me.  I want to make love to you, my fiancé, now and to only you for the rest of our lives.”

She trailed kisses up his neck to his ear and whispered huskily, “Sounds good to me.”