A fool’s tongue runs before his feet. –Russian Proverb
I WAS SO WARM. I CUDDLED back into strong arms and let out a happy sigh. Nikolai kissed my temple, I turned on my side.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispered, his eyes glassy, like he hadn’t slept all night.
“What’s wrong?” I started to get up.
He opened his mouth to speak then shook his head. “We have to get back to work today… and I’m going to have a hell of a time keeping my hands off you.”
I laughed, burrowing my face in his firm chest. “I gotta admit, I’ve always loved the whole forbidden office romance thing… Want me to pin up my hair with a pencil and wear some thigh-highs?”
He growled, covering my mouth with his, then pushed me back against the pillows. “We’re going to be late.”
“Look at you… so punctual,” I teased, loving that he was finally letting his guard down with me, actually smiling, making me believe that even if he was in deep professionally with my father, he would do absolutely nothing to hurt me.
“Why does punctual sound so erotic coming from that wicked mouth of yours?” He nipped my lower lip then deepened the kiss, tossing the covers in a whoosh from my naked body while trying to strip himself of the wrinkly clothes he’d fallen asleep in.
Within minutes the barrier of clothes was gone, and he was lifting me up into his arms and carrying me into the shower. I let out a screech. “I thought we were going to have a lazy morning? What happened to having sex?”
“Whoever said sex always had to be in a bed?” came his answer just before he quite literally tossed me into the shower, then pinned me against the wall and shoved his tongue into my mouth.
It. Was. Everything.
He knew when to be aggressive, when to be soft, and I needed aggressive this morning after the episode with Jac.
With ease he lifted me into the air, pushing my back against the cold tile wall, then plunged into me.
“Whoa.” I nearly slid down as the force of his thrusts had me seeing stars.
“This…” He captured my mouth again and again, matching his movements effortlessly, making me lose my mind, all sense of feeling. “I want this from you… every day… I want… you… I just…” He stopped talking, allowing his body to move in mine.
It was perfect.
He was perfect.
I was so close, my hands greedily trying to grab at anything I could to get more leverage when I finally found my release and accidently said out loud, “I love you.”
It was impossible to see his face as I slid down the front of his wet body, I expected him to freak out.
“Good.” He kissed my mouth softly, then exhaled as if he was relieved. “Because I’ve loved you for a very long time.”
“What?”
“We should get ready.” He pulled away from me, then slapped my butt playfully. “Don’t want your boss to fire you.”
“Nikolai, shouldn’t we talk—”
“We will.” He cut me off. “Just not now… but soon.” His words said he was happy, his body language didn’t match them; his movements were stiff, and then he let out another sigh as he showered the rest of the soap off his body.
What just happened?
Things got weirder as the day progressed. Nikolai, when he was in my office, was edgy, short, and then apologetic. I kept telling him it was fine, but something told me it was my fault, if I hadn’t blurted out those three words.
“Idiot,” I muttered to myself. I say I love you to the first guy I sleep with? Maybe my father had been right about keeping all guys away from me, at least Nikolai hadn’t faced some sort of crazy accident because he’d shared my bed.
I could only imagine what my father would do if he knew Nikolai and I were involved, considering the contract specifically warned against it.
Speaking of the contract… was that void now? Was I still a prisoner? Did it matter? Would I stay if he ripped it up? I swallowed over a lump in my throat. Yes. I would stay. Because I did love him. I couldn’t explain it, but it was like a part of me was tied to him. It was a scary thought, one that no matter how many times I tried to justify it, I couldn’t. It was a feeling, deep in my soul, a feeling of rightness.
“Try harder!” Nikolai barked into the phone. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he glanced from me back to the window. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Maybe it’s not in Seattle.” He gave a curt nod. “I know what your information says but we need…” An impatient sigh ended in a pithy curse. “Fine.”
“Everything okay?” I asked, hoping he wouldn’t bite my head off for asking. “Are… you okay?”
“No.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and stared out the floor-to-ceiling windows, the Seattle cityscape was blanketed in rays of sunlight, bursting through the clouds. “I’m not.”
“You can talk to me.” I stood and slowly made my way over to him. “You know that, right?”
“That’s just it…” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I can’t… I really can’t.”
“But—”
“Maya.” Nikolai turned. “I wish I could. Believe me.”
I stared down at the ground, nervously popping my knuckles as he rocked back and forth on his heels.
The movement, so familiar… hypnotic.
Back and forth, back and forth.
I popped my knuckles again.
Nikolai grabbed my hands firmly. “What’s going on?”
“Your shoes…” I felt my vision blurring. “Not your shoes. Sorry, just the way you’re standing.”
Realization crossed his features, though I have no clue why. I looked back down at his shoes. I couldn’t help it.
Slowly, Nikolai raised his hand to my face. I thought he was going to feel my forehead, maybe I was getting sick?
Instead, he covered my eyes with his hand, making it so my only choice was to look down, at the movement of his shoes as they rocked back and forth across the floor.
And like a horror movie pressing play in my mind.
I saw blood on his shoes, drip, drip, drip.
With a gasp I pulled away.
“Maya, what did you see?”
“Blood.” I gasped. “On your shoes.”