CHAPTER 3
Janelle and I walk underground and get on the six train, heading uptown. Quickly finding two empty seats next to each other, we drop down before anyone else can grab them. Janelle lets out a loud breath as we cross our legs, sitting in silence. I’m relieved Janelle isn’t trying to talk, because I don’t think I have it in me to speak right now. Just as the subway pulls into Fifty-Seventh Street, she stands up, holding the railing above us with one hand and telling me in a whisper and watery eyes that everything will be okay. She gets off, and I pull my bag closer to my chest, continuing my commute uptown to work.
I get to Angelo’s Pawn, pulling out my key to open the old gray door. I glance up for a moment, noticing one of the electric-green lights on the signage is no longer on, turning the name of the shop into ANGELO’S PAN. As I push the door open, I make a mental note to remind Angelo to fix it. Getting inside, I immediately notice the frame of a man’s silhouette behind the counter. My voice falls to my feet, my throat constricting. Carlos. He found me! Emptiness closes in with a threat of forcing me to pass out as my heart jumps from my chest.
Angelo turns around, and my knees threaten to buckle with relief. Shock lines his face while I feel myself begin to hyperventilate. My eyes know the man behind the counter isn’t Carlos, but my body hasn’t gotten the message yet. I know this is my Angelo, but all my body can understand is that a man is in front of me.
“Come on, doll. Relax.” Angelo puts his thick arm around me and I immediately flinch, drawing back to get away from his touch. Stepping back, he brings me a chair and gently pushes me down to sit, telling me to put my head between my legs. When I finally feel calmer, I look up at him. He’s in a clean button-down shirt and his dark hair is combed over to the side.
“Holy shit, sweetheart. But you’ve got some explaining to do.” I inhale again and smell his cologne. The smell is sharp, but it’s comforting. It’s Angelo.
“Yeah, I know. I’m just—” I shake my head, feeling the tremors move through my body. I want to speak, but my throat tightens. I try to hold back my tears, but they refuse to be kept at bay. Part of me wants to let him take care of this issue for me so I never have to think of it again. But life doesn’t work that way. The minute he gets the Borignone family involved, I’ll just be one more girl they have control over. I’d be trading in one psychopath for another.
“Eve,” he gets up and brings me a small bottle of water from the mini-fridge behind the counter. “Drink something and relax.”
As the water streams down my throat, I finally calm down. I’m with Angelo. I’m safe here. In this moment, no one can hurt me.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“No, I…I…can’t.”
“Eve. I’ve known you long enough. I can’t just sit here while you’re like this. Tell me what’s going on.”
I look around the shop. It’s small with an old carpeted floor and a large glass counter on the right side. It’s filled with diamond rings and watches. I even see a new drum set and guitar in the corner along with a violin.
“That stuff is new?” I sniffle, pointing to the instruments. “It wasn’t here last week.”
“Yeah, doll. Stop deflecting. Now, talk to me.”
“If I tell you, you need to swear to Christ that you won’t do anything about it other than hear me out.”
“Ah, you’re bringing Jesus into this?” He raises his dark, bushy eyebrows.
“You know it,” I reply with as much sass as I can muster.
“It must be some serious shit.” I nod my head, tears dripping down my face. “All right.” He lifts one hand as if under oath. “I swear.” He nods solemnly. “Now talk.”
I grip the bottom of the chair, feeling my knuckles burn as I open my mouth. I tell him about Carlos and the Snakes. By the time I’m finished, he’s seething with anger.
“I’m gonna take care of that fucker!” He stands up, fury seeping through his pores.
“No! You can’t! I don’t want the mob after him. I can’t get involved in that shit. And I can’t owe anyone any favors. I can’t do that—”
“Eve. That motherfucker is going to come back for you.” He points to me. “I’ve heard of Carlos. He’s certifiable.”
“No,” I tell him forcefully. “Janelle has friends. She’s going to ask someone to talk to Carlos—”
“Christ, Eve. Are you kidding me? The Snakes are trying to gain power on the streets. If he wants you, he isn’t letting you go!”
“I have to do this my way. I’ll never forgive you if you tell Antonio. And how do we even know he took what happened seriously? I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe…maybe Carlos forgot about me already.”
He blinks at me, giving a no-nonsense stare. He knows I’m not going to budge.
“Just remember, Antonio can probably have someone burned alive in the middle of Times Square without the cops saying a word. I want you to know that getting the family involved is always an option. It’s the best option. Hell, they’ll make sure he disappears—”
“Well, it can’t be an option for me.” I shake my head. “No way.”
He stands up, pacing the room. Finally, he stops and turns to me. “It’s time to teach you to shoot. You don’t want to get the family involved, fine. But I’m not letting you walk around unarmed.”
I stare at him shocked. “A…gun?” My nerves start up, but I swallow them down. “Angelo, I can’t have a gun. Is it even legal?”
He rolls his eyes and starts to laugh. “Ah, my little Eve. I should nickname you Double E for Eve Esquire. You better be my lawyer someday, if—God forbid—I ever need one.” He laughs at me as I blow my nose with a tissue from the counter.
I’ve got to give it to him; Angelo is making a lot of sense right now. I really do need some protection. This way, I won’t have to lean on anyone else. “I guess it’s self-defense, right?”
“You got it.” He winks. “Self-defense.”
I nod my head. “Okay. Teach me.” My voice is full of false bravado. I can do this.
We walk together out of the shop, the door automatically locking with a click behind us. Ten minutes later, we enter an old rundown building. Getting down into the basement level, he opens a fireproof door to another set of steps. Angelo flicks on the lights and my eyes widen in surprise. It’s a completely new and modern space, totally at odds with the rest of the building. I’ve heard about these underground bunker spaces, but never could have imagined this! He walks me over to a glass cabinet with rows of rifles and guns. Choosing a small handgun from the first row, he pulls it out and brings it with us to a table in the back of the room.
“Where the hell are we, Angelo?” I look around nervously.
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to, doll.” He gently places a hand on my shoulder. “Just stay with me and focus.” He sits down, gesturing with his hand for me to sit beside him.
“Now Eve, this is a nine-millimeter pistol.” He lifts up the gun. “Some people call it a Glock.” I suck in a sharp inhale of air, scared. “Don’t be afraid.” He puts the gun down and touches my hand; I swallow the excess saliva building in my mouth. Opening a drawer, he pulls out some bullets. Picking up the gun, he demonstrates.
“You see this button here?” He points. “You press it to eject the magazine. Make sure to insert the ammunition one at a time into the top with the round side toward you until the magazine is full. Then put the magazine back in and up until you hear this click. Now it’s locked.” I nod my head.
“Before you shoot, you got to make sure the safety is disengaged. Then take your palm like this, and pull the slide to the back and then release it. Now your gun is ready.” I watch him carefully, trying to memorize the steps.
He has me go through the motions upward of twenty times until I finally start to feel comfortable holding and loading.
“Good job.” He praises me, as I smile happily. “Now, it’s time for the fun part.” He winks, handing me a set of earplugs and headphones. “Wearing both will protect your ears better.” He walks me to the other end of the shop where I see a target made of paper. It’s a black circle on a white background.
I put in the earplugs and slide on my headphones, pulling my hair back into a tight ponytail. The rest of my afternoon is spent learning how to shoot the gun. Once I get the hang of it, I don’t want to stop.
“Can we come back?” I scream, forgetting my ears are totally plugged up. I see, but can’t hear him laughing. Finally, I pull everything out of my ears and repeat myself, in a normal voice. He responds with more laughter, shaking his head.
“Yeah, we can, sweetheart. Anytime.” He winks and throws a large arm around my shoulders. My heart fills.
We walk back upstairs and finally leave the building. “It’s always the little ones like you who manage to be the best shots.” His grin has pride written all over it.
We walk back into the pawnshop together, my purse much heavier. I must admit, I feel a hell of a lot safer now. Stronger, even. My life is my own to protect. If any of those thugs try to get me—
“Eve?” Angelo says, shaking me out of my thoughts.
“Yeah?” I turn to him expectantly.
“College, all right? You’re too good for this shit. I want more for you. Better.”
“I know.” I nod. “I’m meeting Ms. Levine tomorrow night at her apartment. She’s gonna help me fill out my applications. Deadline is next month, and I gotta get a move on.”
“That’s my girl.”