CHAPTER 15
The next morning when I wake up, I find myself alone in Vincent’s huge bed. Finding a spare toothbrush in the cabinet in his guest bathroom, I wash myself up as best I can without my usual toiletries. My eyes are still red-rimmed and puffy from all my crying, but deep in my soul, I know that somehow, Vincent will take care of Carlos for me.
Vincent, Vincent, Vincent. I want to say his name a million times, but every time I even think of his name, I flush. The man has somehow taken over everything. I was with him all night and now I feel as if I’m going through a withdrawal. My body aches for more of him. Where is he?
Walking into his beautiful kitchen, I see a note on the dining table. He went out for a run and will be back at nine. Looking up at the clock hanging on his wall, I see that it’s already eight forty-five in the morning. I open his fancy refrigerator—surprised to see it’s completely stocked. Taking out eggs, milk, and bacon, I hope that when he gets back he’s hungry. Opening one of the refrigerator doors, I find it full of fresh vegetables.
The front door opens and shuts, and I turn toward it, nerves fluttering in my stomach. Vincent’s hair is damp with sweat and his white T-shirt sticks to his muscular chest. Dark stubble is already growing on his face, even though he was freshly shaven last night. He’s so insanely hot that my heart skips at the sight of him. But when we make eye contact, I realize that something’s missing. It’s Vincent, but his eyes look…uncaring. I feel whiplash from the coolness of his stare. Did he change his mind?
“Morning,” he says curtly, and my heart sinks.
He struts into his bedroom without another word, and I hear the shower turn on. I hurry up and scramble fresh eggs with some milk, turning the heat on another pan to fry up the thick-cut bacon. Quickly looking at a recipe from the Food Network on my phone, I put together a small tomato and cucumber salad. God, to have this much food in your fridge at any given time!
Ten minutes later, he’s back out in the kitchen freshly showered, and I’m pulling out the whole-wheat toast from the toaster oven. He comes up behind me and I shut my eyes tightly for a moment, savoring his fresh scent.
“You cook?” His voice is full of surprise as he watches me plate the food.
“Yeah. I cook a lot actually…” I want to say more, but the vibe he’s giving off is completely closed. Did I say something to anger him? “I hope you don’t mind—”
“I don’t,” he abruptly replies. “And thank you.” He nods as I hand him his plate. He stands, waiting by the table until I wash off my hands and come next to him. He doesn’t sit until after I do.
We eat together in silence, but the quiet has turned to painful. In the light of day, it’s like he’s completely shut down from me. I want to yell, ask what the hell happened? I spend my entire breakfast playing our night over, wondering what I said to make this all go so wrong.
“The food is amazing.” I turn to him, my heart fluttering from his compliment. I never would have imagined that feeding him would feel this satisfying, but it does.
“You’re welcome,” I tell him quietly, searching his eyes for a sign he still cares.
Soon afterward, he drives me back to my apartment. The car ride is completely quiet, I can hear horns beeping and fire trucks screaming in the distance. I remember that it’s Sunday, and I need to open Angelo’s in two hours. On one hand, I’m dreading work, but on the other, I could use something to keep me occupied while my mind runs circles.
He brings me up to my door, and I feel my heart rate pick up. There are a million things I want to ask him.
“Let me come in, check out the place before you go inside.”
“No!” I exclaim, putting my hands up. He looks at me skeptically, but the truth is that the last thing I want is for him to see my shit-box apartment. Especially after I just saw his place—I can’t imagine what he’d think if he saw mine.
“I’m sure my mom or sister is home. You don’t need to go in.”
He looks like he wants to argue with me, but thankfully, he doesn’t. “I’m going to wait here. You go inside, and when you think everything is okay, come out to tell me. And if something is wrong, yell and I’ll run right in.” I nod my head, swallowing back my tears. I need to get inside before I lose it in front of him.
His eyes are full of anguish as he steps closer to me, letting his fingers run across my face. “Everything I told you last night—it’s still on. No more fear, okay? Trust me. Carlos will never bother you again.”
I nod my head, feeling true relief. At the same time though, it seems like he’s saying goodbye in a final sense.
“We’re still f-friends, right?”
He sighs. “I’ll always be your friend, Eve.”
The man is holding so much back, and I wish he wouldn’t. Before the tears fall, I turn around and open my door, moving inside before he can get a look. Scanning the room, I notice that nothing is out of the ordinary. I step back to the front door, checking through the peephole. He’s still there.
I want to tell him all is well, but my tears start falling. I refuse to let him see me cry again. Instead, I pull out my phone and shoot him a quick text. I hear his phone ping and look again through the peephole, watching as he reads it. He curses loudly, slamming his hand down on my door in what looks like anger and frustration. He turns around and stalks away from the door. When I can no longer see him, I feel the emptiness creep back into my chest, as if he took a piece of me with him. I want to throw the door open, chase him down and beg him to take me with him. But instead, my fear cripples me, and I spend the next twenty minutes crying over him in the shower.
Once I calm myself down, I go to work where I talk to Angelo. Again, I refuse any help from the Borignones. I tell him that I slept at a friend’s last night who has pretty deep connections. I’ve got a guarantee that Carlos won’t bother me anymore. He looks at me incredulously, but I stand firm. I’ve still got hope that Vincent will fix this.
When work is over, Angelo insists that he wants to bring me home so he can check out my apartment before I go inside. He’s thinking about installing some cameras at my front door for extra surveillance, and I agree it might be a good idea.
Getting back to the Blue Houses, he struts inside the building, glaring at anyone who dares to look at him. We enter my apartment and he searches every possible crevice. When he finally decides that all is safe, he heads out, hugging me to his chest. “You sleep with your phone next to you, okay? And the gun under your pillow. I wish you’d stay with me tonight—”
“I know. But Janelle will be home. And I’ll be okay,” I tell him nervously.
“You don’t always gotta be so tough, Eve. I’m here.” He looks at me with pain in his eyes.
“I know you are. Look…I’m going to call you before I sleep, okay? And when I wake up.”
“You better.” He brings me back for a tight embrace and I realize that in all the ways that matter, Angelo is my father. “Bye, sweetheart.” He walks out, shutting the door behind him. I’m closing the front door lock and move to the refrigerator to take out something to eat when I see a note innocuously taped to the door. I pause, confused at first. But when I see the sloppy handwriting, dread pools low in my stomach.
Eve,
I know you’ve been talking to the cops bout me, and I’m gonna pay U back for that shit. You think I don’t see how you think you’re better than everyone round here? People like you run to the cops. You’re a snitch. A bitch. But before I end you, I’m going to fuck the hell outta you. It’s time to pay up.
You see, the truth is that I’ve been watching you for years. With your baggy clothes and bag full of books. You think that no one noticed you hiding behind your sister? With a face like a fucking angel and a body made for fucking… hiding ain’t possible. And now that I’ve seen what you got underneath all those clothes…you bet I’m gonna tap that. I’m gonna tap it nice and hard until you’re begging for fucking mercy.
That cat is just the start, bitch.
I sit at my kitchen table in a trance. He was in here. With the locks being so shitty, I don’t know why I should be surprised. Carlos is a sick thug who loves the terror; he loves the game. I have to think of something. I’ve got to get myself out of this. Vincent said he’d fix it, but maybe Angelo is right. Maybe I need to get the Borignones involved. Obviously, calling the police is completely out of the question. I swallow hard, mind pinging back and forth. He isn’t going to stop until someone puts an end to him. That much is clear. How long will it even take for Vincent to fix this? And that’s IF he can fix it. I don’t think Vincent understands who Carlos is and who he’s dealing with. The Borignones are looking more and more like my only option.
Before I make any rash decisions, I should make a list. I’ve got too much shit piling up in my head and it’s adding to my stress. I take out a pen and piece of paper from the cabinet drawer.
1. TEXT MS. LEVINE TO ASK ABOUT APPLICATION STATUS
2. TEXT JANELLE TO TOUCH BASE AND MAKE SURE SHE’LL BE HOME TONIGHT
3. CRAWL INTO MY BED AND SHUT MY BRAIN OFF
4. WAKE UP AND MAKE ANOTHER LIST DETAILING PROS AND CONS TO LETTING ANGELO TAKE CARE OF CARLOS
I drop my pen and walk into the kitchen, gripping the papers like a lifeline. It’s all too much! I need the universe to give me some time—a break to sort out my issues. I can’t handle the way my cards are unfolding. While undressing, I take a deep breath, telling myself I can complete things one at a time.
I pull out my phone to text Ms. Levine.
ME: Hey. Any word yet on schools?
MS. L: Soon, Eve. I think in the next week or so, you’ll have your answer. Hang in okay?
ME: Yeah. Is there a way you can call admissions? Maybe they can rush their answer or something?
MS. L: I’ll call. Don’t worry.
I exhale and cross out number one on my list. It’s weird, but it feels good to cross off an item. Now it’s time to reach Janelle. We texted a few times last night, and I told her we really need to catch up on lots of shit going on. I haven’t been able to tell her about the cat or Vincent and now the letter… I need to talk to her.
ME: Hey Janelle. A lot of shit going on—we need to talk
JANELLE: Is everything all right??? I’m actually at Leo’s now. We’re going out tonight. I’ll be home super late, don’t wait up. But I promise I’ll be there in the morning.
ME: Ok. Tomorrow morning breakfast before I go to school?
JANELLE: Yup! Love ya. Lock the door! And Juan is home tonight. Call him if you don’t want to be alone.
ME: OK. Thanks. BTW, where has Mom been? Haven’t seen her in weeks
JANELLE: Lucky 4 U. I saw her yesterday. You guys are on opposite schedules—count your blessings…she seems to be worse lately
I put my phone down, and cross off number two on the list. Now it’s time to shut my mind down and go to sleep. I take out my gun and place it under my pillow. As I’m dozing, I think I can still smell Vincent on me. I put my arm up to my nose and inhale as deeply as possible, but the scent disappeared. My body is under so much stress that within mere moments, I’m completely asleep.
Somewhere in the recesses of my sleeping mind, I hear the front door open and shut. My bedroom light flicks on and Janelle jumps into my bed. “Eve! Wake up!” Her hands are on me and she shakes me awake.
I sit up in a shock and my heart skips a beat. When I see it’s Janelle, I blink a few times, my eyes adjusting to the light.
“You don’t know—I have to tell you—holy shit! Eve!”
“What? What happened?” My voice is raspy and sounds strangled. Janelle’s eyes are wide and she’s…smiling? I rub my eyes.
“You don’t understand, Eve! It was epic!”
“Huh? What the hell is going on?” I look at the time and see that it’s two am.
“I was in the Meatpacking district tonight. There were fights on, but it was a really small thing. Not like the gigantic crowd I took you to.” I shrug my shoulders and rub my eyes again, still trying to get my body to understand that it’s awake now.
“All of a sudden, the announcer tells us that the Bull is fighting. He wasn’t on the roster.”
When I hear his name, my heart stutters in my chest.
“He got in the center of the circle, looking angry as hell. And PS, angry Bull is like the hottest man on the planet! It should be illegal to look that good.” She fans her face and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “But forget that.” She waves her hand around as if to push the thought away. She still doesn’t know that Vincent is the Bull. And that Vincent is…Vincent. But now isn’t the time to mention it. I need to hear the entire story.
“Okay—so…?” I’m waiting for her to continue.
“So, he gets into the ring. Angry. Somehow, Carlos, YOUR Carlos, gets thrown inside.” My eyes feel like they’re bugging out of my skull.
She pushes her hair back with her hands. “So, Carlos gets pushed into the ring, looking around like a deer in motherfucking headlights!”
“Oh. My. God.” My stomach turns and I feel like I may throw up.
Janelle’s smile is practically splitting her face apart. She gets back out of bed, jumping up and down like she just won the lotto. “The Bull tears off his shirt in the middle of the circle, Eve! Not normal-like, but like a man enraged! The entire place was going berserk!”
Janelle paces the room, her excitement so huge that sitting isn’t possible. “Carlos’s fear disappears, and he looks like he’s going to tear the Bull’s head off! Clearly, there is some shit between them…”
“Wait. C-Carlos?” I can barely say his name.
“Yes, Eve. Are you lis-ten-ing? Carlos! Sergeant of Arms for the Snakes. The same fucker who tried to rape you, Eve. The same Carlos! Are you awake?
I swallow hard, my voice sounding panicked. “And?”
“And the Bull went apeshit. I’ve never seen him fight like this. Normally he does what he has to do and has some fun. He always wins, obviously, but gives everyone a little show first. This time? It was total annihilation. At first, everyone was yelling, excited even. After three minutes, it was silence. It looked like he broke every bone in Carlos’s body!”
“Wait. What? My voice is monotone; my mind in so much shock it can barely process what she’s telling me.
“YES! No one was stopping him! The announcer stood there in silence, letting the Bull do whatever the hell he wanted. At one point, Carlos was a heap of blood on the floor. His nose was totally shattered. I saw his arms were both bent in a crazy direction. The Bull literally, like, publically humiliated him and broke that motherfucker, limb by mother-fucking limb!”
Laughter starts to bubble up inside my chest. I’m in a state of complete shock and apparently, this is my body’s reaction. Janelle joins me, and somehow, we’re laughing our asses off! Tears are pouring down her face from glee.
“Carlos had to be carried out by two bouncers and probably dropped off at the hospital! It was the scariest thing I had ever seen. In. My. Life. He may be dead! And when the Bull was finished? Oh. My. God, Eve! When the Bull was finished, he spit on Carlos’s body, picked up his shirt, and walked out of the circle like it was just another goddamn day!”
“But, what…” I’m shaking my head, still in disbelief.
“You obviously have a guardian angel, Eve. I mean, he’s gone! Carlos is done! God, I can’t wait to tell everyone!” She kisses me on the forehead and skips into the bathroom, leaving me alone in our bedroom.
I shut my eyes, not sure how to deal with this new development when my throat starts to burn. I let the tears flow. I’m free.