I don't try to approach Finn until the day of the tournament.

We've both been working really fucking hard to make sure we're contributing as much as possible to the clear time. We've gotten the whole thing down to just under twenty-five minutes, and we're trying to shave off even more, which requires a lot of ass-in-chair dedication as the team learns to communicate and execute plans as efficiently as possible.

We all choose to work on it late into the night, getting special permission to reset the raid early so we can run it again and again. We finish our last run around midnight, when Coach Singh--who's also been staying late--tells us to go to bed since we have to be at the airport by five-thirty for security check-in.

I wanted to talk to Finn before we even got on the plane, but I'm dragging ass in a way that even a shower doesn't really help. We're an hour into our flight to Chicago and I'm a Red Bull deep before I even start to wake up, but of course Finn's all the way on the other side of the plane.

So I pull out my Switch and distract myself by playing some Monster Hunter with Zed and Aidan who are sitting on either side of me in the row. We pull in Rosa who's sitting behind us for a full team, and the hunts help pass the time and calm my nerves.

Once we land, we have to check into the hotel and do some photo-ops for the sponsors, so again there's no time. It's not until we're taking a bus over to the venue--another, much nicer hotel--that I even get a chance to sit down next to him. He's scrolling through his phone, and I take a moment to appreciate how damn good he looks in the official team jacket, his red hair styled with some pomade so it's sticking up a little, his lips pursed in concentration.

I almost hate to ruin it, but I have to break the ice somehow. "You nervous?"

Finn looks up at me, a flurry of emotions playing across his features. He settles for a cautious smile. "Hard not to be. Margin for error is so low, and doing a clear live in front of a bunch of people--while going up against the other teams--is a lot more to ask of everyone."

We've spoken a few times since my blowup, though it's always been conversations like this. I'm not sure exactly how to transition it, but I decide to just come out and say what I need to say.

Or I would have, had Finn not given me an apologetic look and jerked his head toward the front. "Coach wants to do a little pre-tourney pep talk, sorry."

"Oh," I say dumbly. "Yeah, sure. Knock 'em dead or whatever."

I move my knees so he can get past me to the aisle, then make peace with missing yet another chance as Finn and Coach Singh start to talk.

"I'll keep this brief:" she begins, "You've all worked insanely hard to be here, and I'm so proud of you. Every single person on this team stepped up when it mattered, and I know you'll do the same today. That said, mistakes are still going to happen. It's a fact of life. Don't beat yourself up over them. Just move on and do better."

I swear she looks at me as she says it, and I nod. I do plan to move on and do better. Even if Finn doesn't want to be anything more than teammates. It'll suck, and I'm not sure I've fully prepared myself for that option, but I know I'll survive it.

"Mine's quick too, I promise," Finn says with a smile. "I just want to tell you all it's been an honor to captain this team. You've done amazing things, and no matter how it turns out today, I know you'll do more amazing things in the future." Pausing for a beat, he adds with a smirk, "but obviously let's kick everyone's ass and bring home that prize money."

Cheers erupt from the team and the hype train officially leaves the station and starts barreling full-steam down the tracks. It makes it impossible to talk to Finn when he sits back down, so I resign myself to waiting.

As the clock ticks closer and closer to the start of the tournament, though, and other teams start to fill the venue and crowd the lobby, I have to resort to texting him.

Those three dots flash for several long seconds, and it's obvious he's typing and re-typing his response, because all he sends is:

He's right. It's already fucking cold here, despite the fact that it's only fall. While there might be a few people swimming, it'll probably be one of the least crowded places in the hotel.

Sending a quick response to say I'm on my way, I follow the signs and head through the back of the lobby toward the pool deck. I can see Finn moving through another hall, and we open our respective doors at almost the exact same time.

He laughs from across the way.

"I guess if we can sync up that well during the raid, we'll be in good shape."

I smile at that, but my nerves are coiling into a tight mess and my heart is hammering too hard for me to laugh. Finn must feel it, because he rakes his fingers through his hair, making a mess of his styling.

"What's up?" he asks, crossing the deck to stand before me.

After almost a full week of not touching him, I really want to pull him into my arms and show him exactly what he means to me. But sometimes that's not enough.

"I owe you an apology," I begin, and I've barely finished the word before he tries to wave it off.

"Don't worry about it. We all have our moments."

I shake my head and take a step closer to him. "That doesn't mean I shouldn't apologize. And I know the team forgave me," I say before he can brush it off again, "but I need to apologize to you. Personally. Because what I did hurt you, and I know that."

"Ryker..."

"I can't take it back, and I can't promise I won't lose my shit in the future. But... I'm taking steps to do better, and I want you to know that," I say softly, feeling a little self-conscious.

The small but warm smile I get from Finn helps take the edge off a bit. "Good. You deserve better than whatever your father says. And you sure as hell deserve better than what some random idiots say."

"I know," I manage, though even just admitting that to myself feels like a monumental thing. "I went through all my social media accounts and blocked a bunch of people. Set it up so I have to verify my account before I post anything, just so I have a chance to cool down."

"Damn, you'll have to show me how to do that sometime."

We stand there awkwardly for a few moments. This isn't going how I thought it would, and definitely not how I hoped. But he hasn't shut me out, so I guess that's progress.

"I sent my dad an email last night, too. Told him he could shred his contracts--that I won't be coming to work for him. And if he doesn't have something positive to say, he might as well just not contact me."

His expression brightens and he reaches out in a touch I think is just an unguarded reaction to my words. He rubs my arm, and just that simple, innocent contact makes my heart swell.

Calm the fuck down. It doesn't mean he wants to be with you.

"I'm really glad to hear that, but... what contract?" he asks, wariness in his voice.

I tell him about the email and even show it to him on my phone. Finn's whole body stiffens, and I rush to say something that will help him relax.

"Like I said, it's in the past. He's... not worth my time."

Finn nods, green eyes turning to me. "No, he's not. You're worth so much more than he'll ever give you credit for, Ryker. I wish you could see that."

Maybe it's a trick of the light, but when his expression softens, I swear he looks at me the same way he did before our fight. With affection and maybe even love in his eyes.

"I'm starting to," I say softly. "I have you to thank for that. You've always made me want to do better, Finn. To be better."

"I don't know what I've done..." he says shyly, averting his gaze.

I take a chance and cup his cheek with one hand, turning him to face me again. "You've just been... you. Always moving forward, always looking out for other people; putting them first. It's one of the things I love about you."

His mouth works, but no sound comes out. There's a spark of hope in his eyes that speaks to something deep inside of me, and a part of me just wants to skip the rest of this and kiss him.

But there's still a little more I need to say.

"I don't know if you could ever feel the same, or if you even want to try this again, but what we had was special to me, Finn. You're special to me. And I... I love you." I draw in a breath, summoning the courage to go on. "If you want me to just be a teammate and a friend, then I'll do that. I will. But I--"

Finn doesn't give me the chance to finish. His lips crush mine in a kiss that's less desperate passion and more overwhelming emotion. I can feel it flowing out of him and into me, and I send back the exact same feelings to him, wrapping my free arm about his waist and pulling him close.

He breaks it quicker than I'd like, but the look in his eyes and the soft smile on his lips more than makes up for it as he says, "I don't want to just be your friend or your teammate, Ryker. I don't know that I can be anymore."

I hold my breath, that part of me that needs reassurance still unsure of exactly what he's saying. But he just strokes my cheek with his thumb and finally says the most beautiful words I've ever heard.

"I love you, too."

I initiate the kiss this time, keeping it slow and tender. The last thing we need is to get completely caught up in each other right before the tournament.

"I was afraid," Finn admits after the kiss breaks. "I still am, honestly."

"Afraid of what?" I murmur against his lips.

"Ryker, I've... had feelings for you for a long time. Strong ones. They might not have always been love, but they were always there."

I know exactly what he means. For me it was almost like an obsession. I don't feel that way anymore, but that doesn't change the intensity of it.

"I love you so much," he says, and my heart does a little flip, "and I guess I'm just afraid it'll consume me. That I'll neglect the team and my duties as a captain."

My brow furrows and I bracket both sides of his face with my hands, looking into his eyes. "You are the least selfish person I know, Finn. You give everything to this team. And to your fans and the community as a whole."

"I know, but..."

I shake my head, then lean in to brush my lips over his. "No buts. You talk about all the things I deserve, but you deserve to put your needs first sometimes."

He smiles at me, and I can see the uncertainty in his eyes. "That's... going to take some getting used to."

"I know it is." I may not have the same problem, but I know exactly what it feels like to have to let yourself believe you're worth something. "But I'll be here to remind you. Every day."

"Promise?" he asks, and I can see the faintest glimmer of tears in his eyes.

"Promise." I kiss him again, just as softly as before. Then my lips curve into a grin as I pull back and say, "Now let's go win this fucking tournament."