“Don’t drop it. Justin! I swear if you rip that canvas, I will end you.”

My brother looked down from the truck he was unloading. His big, stupid bear paws gripped the sides of my painting like it was a damn table. “Just put it down. I’ll get them.” I rushed over to the truck and climbed onto the ramp. “Go! Move one of the suitcases or something.”

“You can’t move all the paintings. There’s like forty-five of them.” Justin lifted me and set me aside. “We won’t hurt your precious paintings. Beck, get her down from there.”

I gasped as my brother hooked his arm around my waist and hauled me off the truck. “Go find someone else to bug, Chaos.”

I hated that name. I hated all nicknames.

Liar.

I pushed that thought aside. I definitely didn’t need to think about Ian today.

“Zoe Jayne. Come over here and talk to me.”

My shoulders hunched up as I turned to my Aunt Laverne’s voice. “I just need—”

“Go!” Justin, Beckett, and Hayes all shouted.

I retied my bandana around my hair and huffed. “If you hurt any of—”

“We know. We’ll get strung up by our balls.” Justin jumped down with one of my eight foot boards in his arms. “We got it.”

At least the wooden board they couldn’t hurt.

Much.

Then again, I should have burned that one anyway.

My painting of Ian. The one that I’d been obsessed with for days. The one I hadn’t been able to uncover since I’d left California.

My aunt gently drew me away. “Come over here and have some tea, sweetheart.” She wrapped her arm around my hips and the ever present hint of lemons instantly brought my anxiety levels down below the triple digits.

“Yeah, maybe I need something to drink.”

“Maybe? It might even hit one hundred degrees today. You need to take breaks.” She pushed me onto a hay bale in the corner of the barn. “I can’t believe you want to stay in here.”

“It’s got everything I need and I’m not putting anyone else out.” I took the large glass from her and finished it long, greedy pulls.

“You’re not putting any of us out.”

I resisted the eye roll I was feeling. My bedroom was a greenhouse, and I was pretty sure my mother loved her orchids more than her children at this point.

“There’s more than enough room at the lodge.”

“Only if you didn’t take one of the bookings. I’ve seen the ledger, Aunt Laverne.”

She had the good grace to look at her hands. “It’s fine, sweetheart.”

“I know you wouldn’t care, but honestly, I work such strange hours. Your guests would be horrified and probably hate me.”

My aunt looked around the room. “But it’s so…dirty.”

I laughed. “It’s perfect. I even got Beck to pick me up a mattress from Josie’s in town.”

“Just a mattress?” My aunt sighed. “You’re not in college anymore.”

“I know. And this is just temporary.”

“Are you going back to California?”

I looked down at my empty glass. “I don’t know.”

“This isn’t about a man, is it?”

I shrugged. “Not entirely. Some of it is about him—my ex, I guess.” Labels hadn’t really been part of our thing, but he was definitely more than a hookup. Ian had been my everything. At least I’d thought he was until I found out every damn thing had been built on a lie.

And God, I missed him. That was the worst part.

Which was why I needed the barn put together. I needed to work.

Aunt Laverne tapped my leg. “Come help me get the sandwiches out of my truck. We’ll feed these heathens, and you. You’re far too skinny.”

I’d only been home a few days, but it didn’t stop my family—from both sides of the orchard—from trying to shove food down my throat. But my brothers were the eternal garbage disposals and required sustenance.

We brought in the coolers of food and beer and the three of them descended on it like a pack of starving dogs.

I managed to eat half a sandwich and drink roughly a half gallon of tea before my aunt drew me outside. “Let’s go take a walk.”

“I really—”

“Please take her,” Beckett said around a bite of ham and cheese. “We’ll go much faster without her hovering.”

I huffed out a sigh. “I guess I could stretch my legs.” I took a bottle of water from the cooler and one for my aunt before following her out the wide barn doors.

We walked in companionable silence for a few minutes. The days were longer as July was coming down on us like a wet blanket. Some of the Paula Reds were further along than the still flowering Macintosh trees. The heavy scent of blooms going to fruit was a familiar one and went a long way to bringing me down another few notches.

I’d run through these orchards all my life. This place was full of good memories. And that was exactly what I needed right now.

“Are you truly all right, Zoe?”

I bent down and picked up one of the blooms that had blown off the tree. The soft pink petals were another familiar memory. I shrugged. “I will be. How much did Mom tell you?” I asked with a smile for the bloom. I knew my aunt hadn’t come only to check in on us.

She gave me an answering shrug, flipping her cotton-white braid over her shoulder. “You know your mother, she doesn’t give up much detail beyond grumbles.”

I laughed into the bloom and tucked it behind my ear. “Yeah. I surprised the hell out of her when I came up the drive. You’d think she would be excited to see me after seven months.”

“Oh, she missed you.”

I made a noncommittal sound.

“She did. She was so used to being in all you kids’ business that she needed an outlet. So…orchids.”

I grunted. “What I said. In my head anyway.”

My aunt laughed. “Yeah, she needed something that wasn’t wrapped around her family. Just like you needed your art to make yourself feel complete.”

“I get that. Just wished I’d gotten a little more of a hug than a scowl.”

She dragged me closer and wrapped her arm around my hip again. “Sarah is always more grumbles.”

“Truth.” I leaned my head against her shoulder for a moment. “Being a grownup sucks. Can I go back to working behind the counter?”

“You know you have a spot in the store whenever you need one, but I don’t think that’s your answer.”

I sighed. “No. It’s not. It never was as much as my parents wish it were so.”

“If you wanted it, you’d be manager of that store. Or even running the lodge. As you well know, it’s becoming quite the busy offshoot of the orchard.”

“And that’s amazing. I just…” How did you tell someone you loved that their thing wasn’t your thing? I’d struggled to do it for most of my teen years.

“You just need more. Same as me when I was a young woman. My parents surely didn’t want me to marry a farmer. But working in an office as a secretary or doing someone’s books was never my ideal job. Then again, I did end up doing the books for a lot of years.” She laughed. “But it was for love. And this orchard was everything I ever wanted. Doesn’t mean it’s what you need.”

“Why are you the wise one?”

“I’m old.”

I laughed. “You are not.”

She tickled my cheek with the end of her white braid. “This says so.”

“Mine’s almost as white already.” I laughed and hugged her tighter. My relationship with my Aunt Laverne had always been less contentious than the one with my mother. I wouldn’t trade either of them away, but my aunt was definitely the less judgmental of the sisters.

“Was it worth it?”

My eyes stung. She always got right to the heart of a conversation. “He was always worth it. I just wish he believed me when I told him.”

“A good woman reminds her man again and again. You think your Uncle Fred doesn’t need a push sometimes?”

“Pushing Ian was never the problem. It was dragging him from the edge that was more our issue.”

“Ah. We all have our demons, Zoe.”

“His demons came with a little extra crazy. I just can’t be the one to save him.” In the end, that was the only thing I could do for him and for me. I’d had to walk away. I had to start over.

“I have to face my own damn demons.” It was the first time I’d said it aloud. The truth of it was achingly apparent. Neither of us had been ready for forever.

“Do you love him?”

“Too much.” I swallowed down the lump in my throat. “Loving him was always easy. Well, when I let it be easy.”

“I wouldn’t rule him out yet, sweetheart. But even if you guys don’t find your way back to one another, you’re better for having known him.”

The trees and leaves blurred as I turned my face into her shoulder. “Yeah, I think so. I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.”

“If it didn’t, it wouldn’t matter.”

“Wise words,” I said with a shaky sigh.

“It’s my job.”

“Exactly why I came home.” I straightened and dashed away the tears. “And to work.”

“Work is always good for the soul. And to heal.”

“Sure is.”

We chatted a little more as we made the loop back toward the distillery and my new home. I got the scoop on the people working at the store and the engagements that had happened while I was away.

The evening sun was lower in the sky. It didn’t stop the heat, but at least we didn’t have to worry about the searing sun added to the mix. I heard the laughter and the swearing as we neared the huge barn doors.

We both halted at the threshold of the barn as we took in the transformation. Most of my paintings were up on nails around the space with a few stacked along the side.

A freaking jet propeller-sized fan was hung from the A-line beams of the barn, but it moved the air around. I lifted my hand to my mouth. Seeing all of my paintings up was hard to take in.

They almost didn’t feel like my own work. I could identify the pieces that told the story of my time in California. The mood after my attack, the recovery in another half dozen. My catharsis had been painting and my time with Ian. The sweet love-drunk time with Ian was apparent in some of the other pieces.

Some didn’t belong—the ones I hadn’t allowed myself to really sink into were obvious now that they were all lined up. There was no hiding it now. It had been so easy to stack them away like notebooks in the back of my studio in Venice.

“What are you going to do with all those paintings?”

“She’ll be showing them, that’s what she’s doing.” Beckett slid down the ladder that led to my loft.

“Beck, I…” I swallowed and stepped into the center of the barn and did a slow twirl to take them all in. “I guess maybe I am.”

“Damn right.” Justin came up to stand next to me, resting his forearm on my shoulder. “I can’t believe my little sister did all these.”

“I can’t believe you guys put them all up.”

“More like she’s impressed with didn’t hurt any of them,” Hayes said from the loft.

I laughed and peered up to where he was. A chain of white twinkle lights shuddered and swayed as he pinned them between two posts with his nail gun. It lit up the space and gave it a romantic feel. They’d even added a huge checked black and white plaid sheet along the side for some privacy.

“You guys did an amazing job.”

Justin hoisted me up and swung me around. “We’re just happy to have you home. Even if you want to live in a barn.”

I linked my arms around his neck. “It’s the most perfect barn ever.”

He dropped me onto my feet. “You’re so damn weird. But you’re our weird.” He smushed me into his chest.

I couldn’t do anything else but hug him back.

My aunt walked around, touching the large paintings. “I knew you were talented, sweetheart, but this is…wow.”

I stepped away from Justin and twisted my fingers together. I’d never felt more naked. It was different when it was my advisor ripping me apart, but my second mom?

It gave me a chance to really look at them again. From someone else’s point of view. Maybe Beckett was right. These didn’t need to be hidden away. They were me. For better or for worse.

My aunt came over to me and hugged me. “I’m so proud of you. You can’t hide these away.”

I sniffed. Man, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gotten so choked up. I was really tired of the crying. “Thanks, Aunt Laverne.”

“All right. I’ll let you guys finish up. Dinner is on me tonight, boys. I slow-roasted some chicken for tacos. It’s too friggin’ hot for much else.”

“Oh, now that sounds like a plan.”

With food in their sights, I was able to get them to do the last of the truck in record time. It left me with the details like my studio lights and supplies, but having them put my scaffolding together saved me hours. When the whining became too much, I shooed them away to go get fed.

“Thanks so much, guys. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“You’re our little sister. It’s our job.” Beck kissed my temple. “Are you sure you’re going to be all right here alone?”

“Yes. I can’t wait to be alone for a little while.”

He rolled his eyes. “Weirdo.”

“That’s artist to you.”

“Right, weirdo.” But he tugged my ponytail and pushed my other brothers out the door with him. “We’ll check on you later.”

I waved them off. “Go eat.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Justin waved and headed for Hayes’s Jeep.

Hayes hovered near my scaffolding. “You really get on this thing?”

“All the time.”

“Why the hell do you need all these canvases to be the size of a giant?”

“Because I like the drama of it.”

He folded his arms over his chest. “Now I’m going to have nightmares of you falling off this thing.”

“Well, if you built it right, I won’t.”

He frowned down at me. “It’s sound.”

“Then don’t worry about me falling. You should have seen what I used to use before—”

He held his hand up. “Never mind. I don’t want to know.”

I laughed and shoved him toward the door. “Go. Leave me in peace. Thank you for all you did. I appreciate it.”

“I know. I just don’t like the idea of you out here alone.”

Beck honked the horn. “See, they’re waiting. Go on. I was alone in California every day. Out here the only thing that’s going to get me is a grasshopper.”

“All right.”

“You’re worse than Beckett. Off you go. Out!”

“Going!”

“Finally.”

For once, the silence really was a bit too much even for me. I turned on my Bluetooth and synched up my phone with my speaker and put on music that was as far away from Ian as I could find. I settled on Brooklyn Dawn and pulled out one of my prepped canvases and tacked it to the posts I was using for an easel.

I worked for hours, only stopping to drink a gallon of water and eat one of the sandwiches the scavengers had left behind. When my eyes were too bleary, I shut down my studio lights and climbed the ladder to my little loft space. My brain was still too buzzy to settle.

My family’s words were still clanging around in my head.

Did I dare look into a gallery?

Would anyone really care?

I opened up my iPad and started searching. When Woodstock came up in the search history, I felt the rightness. I’d always loved going there to shop. To walk through the galleries and other handmade shops.

Maybe.

Just maybe it would be right for me too.