Chapter 20

Cami

It was tempting to throw my phone across the room when my alarm went off the next morning. I’d been in the middle of the most incredible sex dream—one where I awoke with one hand pressed between my legs. In my dream, it had been Xander between my legs.

“Oh. My. God. This is so wrong.” I grabbed my pillow and put it over my face to muffle my groan of frustration. After he’d left the night before, I’d texted Xander to make sure he knew we were still okay. I had no intention of losing our friendship.

I needed advice, so I called Bentley.

“Hey, Cami,” she answered.

“Hi. Are you alone?” I asked.

“Sure am,” she replied. “What’s going on?”

“Xander kissed me.” Why beat around the bush?

“When?” she asked.

“Last night,” I replied. “Actually, he kissed me the night before that, too, but it was just for practice that night.”

“Practice for what?” she asked. “Why do you need to practice kissing? Was there a kissing competition?”

“Ha-ha,” I said in a dry tone. “You are too funny.”

“I wasn’t trying to be funny,” she insisted. “You surprised me, that’s all. Start from the beginning.”

“Xan said we’d need to kiss in public if we're pretending to date, so he kissed me before we went to see a movie. It was perfectly innocent.” Not really, but I wanted to play down that kiss since it should have been innocent. “Then, last night, he came by my place with dinner. He surprised me after a long day. It was sweet.”

“And you kissed him?” she asked.

“He kissed me,” I corrected her. “I did kiss him back. It definitely wasn’t a one-sided kiss.”

“Was it good?” she asked.

“It was amazing,” I admitted. “He held back, and it was still innocent—more innocent than it could have been, at least. What am I going to do? I told Xander we couldn’t date. I also apologized for suggesting we pretend to date when I know he wants more.”

Bentley groaned. “Please tell me you didn’t embarrass him by admitting to knowing how he feels.”

“What was I supposed to do?” I asked. “Pretend I don’t know after he kissed me? He honestly didn’t seem embarrassed. I got the impression he was glad to stop pretending.”

“This could be a problem,” she replied.

“I know,” I said with a sigh. “Why do I keep doing this to myself? It’s a terrible idea for me to get involved with any guy. My dating hiatus is for the best. If I start dating Xander for real, I’ll end up becoming the perfect rocker groupie. We all know I can’t be myself with any guy. I’ll make waffles all day and turn into an obsessed Reckless Release fan.”

“You’re already an obsessed Reckless Release fan,” Bentley pointed out.

“Good point. I was such an idiot for thinking this stupid game with Xander would work.”

“It could work if you didn’t have feelings for Xander,” she began thoughtfully. “The attraction isn’t one-sided. If that were the case, the kiss wouldn’t be so much of a problem. You’re worried it’s going to happen again.”

“I’m most worried I’ll ask him to kiss me next time,” I confessed. There was no reason to lie to Bentley. She wouldn’t judge me for how I felt.

“There’s only one solution,” she told me.

“You’re right. I need to put an end to this thing with Xander and get back to just being friends with him,” I agreed.

“That sounds more like something I’d say,” she said with a laugh. “Come to think of it, my advice seems more like something you would say.”

“What advice were you going to give?” I asked.

“I was going to tell you that you and Xander should try a friends-with-benefits situation,” she explained. “If you’re only friends, you don’t need to be the perfect girlfriend, and you can both deal with your mutual lust.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” I hedged. “If Xander likes me, this could make his feelings stronger.”

“It might. I still think you should run it by him,” she insisted. “He might go for the idea. Xander’s a big boy.”

Very big if the rumors were true. I decided to stop that train of thought. Thinking about Xander’s dick wasn’t going to help me make a clear-headed decision.

“Say you’ll think about it,” she coaxed. “Don’t forget that I let you talk me into doing something a little reckless, and it all worked out for the best.”

Bentley was referring to the time I’d talked her into having a one-night-stand with Gage. She’d been determined to never speak to him again after a misunderstanding had resulted in him acting like a complete jerk. When he’d apologized and asked her to give him a chance, I’d talked her into indulging in a fantasy. That fantasy had turned into much more.

“My situation with Xander is much more complicated,” I reminded her.

“Which is why you need to see how Xander feels about the idea,” she pointed out. “At least, promise me you’ll give the idea some thought. Why rule it out?”

“I’ll think about it,” I agreed.

“That’s all I ask.”